After finally calming down, Lu Yifeng ordered Mo Jing to accompany Little Melon to his room and to make sure that he fell asleep.
Xia Meilin locked herself in her room and cried for a while on her bed.
She never expected that Lu Yifeng would try to force her. He was too scary, this was the first time she saw him this way.
When her tears stopped falling, she went to the bathroom to take a shower but seeing the hickey all over her neck through the mirror made her remember what had just happened. It made her body s.h.i.+ver when she remembered that he tried to force her... It made her remember the fear she felt four years ago. She was trying, trying her best to forget about it. After she was able to get the truth from Lu Yifeng, she decided to forgive but what he did in the past couldn"t easily be forgotten, the fear and pain that she felt, it was still there.
She tried giving him a chance, to start anew, to be his friend but now... Should she continue giving him one?
The shower was able to calm her mind and help her think things through. After her bath, she wore her pajamas then went to lie down on her bed. While her mind was running on what happened earlier, the moment she closed her eyes, due to their saltiness and heaviness, she instantly fell asleep.
In the middle of the night, Lu Yifeng visited her room. Since he had a key to her room, he was able to enter it. He knew that he shouldn"t be doing that but... He wanted to see her.
He sat by her bedside and watched her sleep. He gently stroked her hair as he stared at her for a while.
"I"m sorry. I didn"t mean to lose control..." He whispered softly.
Seeing the tear-stained face made his heartache.
He ruined it all... His efforts had gone to waste and because of this will have to start again. He knew that it will be harder for him to ask for forgiveness since she will be afraid of him, after all, he showed her his fangs.
He stayed there for a while, watching her sleep before he decided to go back to his room, but the moment he stood up, he heard her soft voice.
"Yifeng..."
He turned to her, surprised that she mentioned his name in her sleep.
But instead of facing a sleeping Xia Meilin, he came face to face with her red-rimmed eyes. She sat up and pulled the blanket to cover her legs. She was a light sleeper whenever she fell asleep with something on her mind. The moment he entered her room, she actually woke up.
She was afraid when she thought of the things he could possibly do to her when he entered her room but what she never expected him to do was apologize.
"It"s my fault too... I... I shouldn"t have said those things. I know that you have feelings for me and yet... I ignored them and used those words against you." She hugged her knees.
After she calmed down, she started thinking clearly. She thought back about what happened and realized that it was also her fault.
Lu Yifeng lowered his head, the words she said earlier were the ones that made him lose it. He was too afraid of losing her since he knew about her feelings for Feng Ning. He couldn"t tolerate it whenever he saw her trying to stand up for him.
"I do have the right to love anyone I choose... but I am a married woman now. Even if I was forced into this marriage, the fact that I am married is something that will never change... But I love him, Yifeng." She looked at him, "Even so, I will not make him the reason for us to divorce. I will continue to be your wife only because of our son. My love for Xiao Gua is greater than my love for Feng Ning. I will not break this family, the family Xiao Gua loves, I will not break it because of him."
Her words were like daggers, stabbing his chest. She would only stay with him because of their son... She doesn"t love him one bit, he wasn"t the reason for her to stay and that broke his heart to pieces.
"I already told you that I want to take things slow. We already decided to start anew. I want us to start as friends so that I will be able to get to know you better." She faced him, "I may not love you, and I may not return the feelings you have for me right now but... I will not close my heart to you. If I fall for you then, I will accept it. If I don"t, then... I can only treat you as my friend... But please... please don"t force me into anything... I just need time, Yifeng. I need time to move on... so please give it to me. Don"t force me."
Tears started forming at the side of her eyes. They rolled down her cheeks like continuous streams. "Don"t force me into anything... just like earlier... Don"t make me hate you again. That night... it was a nightmare for me, it haunted me every time I tried to forget it. I don"t want that to happen again... please don"t break the trust that I"m trying to give you."
Lu Yifeng stared at her with a heavy heart. Seeing her cry made him feel something was tearing his heart apart. He was the reason behind it, he was the one who brought this pain to her. He wanted to comfort her and to remove the pain he inflicted on her, but he didn"t know how. He moved forward and hugged her close instead, "Okay, okay... I promise not to force you on the things that you don"t want to. I"m sorry, I"m sorry, Meilin..."
She shrank in his arms as she cried hard. She still feared him but she was trying, trying her best to be brave since she knew Lu Yifeng was a kind person. He stopped just in time when he heard her cry, she noticed the fear in his eyes when he realized what he did, and she clearly saw that earlier.
Xia Meilin was the kind of person who was willing to listen. She was someone who was willing to try and understand a situation, that"s why she forgave him after he told her the truth. She was not the kind of woman who will make a quick a.s.sumption. She may not be able to think right when her mind was a mess but as long as she was able to calm her mind down, she would start to a.n.a.lyze things.
Even if she feared him, she still believed that Lu Yifeng was a good person. Ever since she started staying at his place, she was able to discover this part of him. He would always treat her well and because of that, she chose not to be blind towards it. She knew that Lu Yifeng was an understanding man so, as long as she told him her thoughts in a nice way, as long as she explained things to him, she knew that it would reach him and that he would be able to understand.
This was the kind of Lu Yifeng that she was getting to know during her stay with him that"s why she didn"t try to use the incident that happened earlier to judge him all at once.
Lu Yifeng is a kind and a good person, he will not do things without reason. He loves her and she ignored it, that"s why he got mad earlier. But in the end, even if she pushed him to his limits, he apologized to her. He is an understanding man and he will listen to her as long as she will tell him the truth and explain it to him nicely. This was the image she has of Lu Yifeng, so how will she be able to continue being mad at him or hate him?