It was a grave day when I quitted Eden Valley for the first time. Every one was affected, the women folk, my mother, my grandmother, even Aunt Jen, went the length of tears. That is, all with only two exceptions, my father and Miss Irma. My father was glad and triumphant--confident that, though never the scholar Freddie Esquillant was bound to be, I was yet stronger in the more material parts of learning--those which most pleased the ordinary run of regents and professors.
I had already seen Irma early in the morning in that clump of trees beyond the well where the flowering currants made a scented wall, and in the midst the lilac bushes grow up into a cavern of delicately tinted, constantly tremulous shade.
I told her of my fears, whereat she scorned them and me, bidding me go forward bravely.
"I have never promised to be anybody"s friend before," she said; "I shall not break my word!"
"But, Irma," I urged, for indeed I could not keep the words back, they being on the tip of my tongue, "what if in the meantime, when I am away so far and seeing you so little, you should promise somebody else to be more than a friend!"
She stood a moment with the severe look I had grown to fear upon her face. Then she smiled at me, at once amused and forgiving.
"You are a silly boy," she said; "but after all, you are but a boy. You will learn that I do not say one thing one day and another the next.
There--I promised you a guerdon, did I not? That is the picture of my mother. You can open the back if you like!"
I set my thumb-nail to it, and there, freshly cut and tied with a piece of the very blue ribbon she was wearing, lay a lock of her hair, a curl curiously and as it seemed wilfully twisted back upon itself, as if it had refused to be so imprisoned--just, in fact, like Irma herself.
I should have kissed her hand if I had known how, but instead I kissed the lock of hair. When I looked up I am afraid that there was most unknightly water in my eyes.
"Come," she said, "this will never do. There must be none of that if you are to carry Irma Sobieski"s pledge. Stand up--smile--ah, that is better. Look at me as if I were Lalor Maitland himself, rather than cry about it. You have my pledge, have you not--signed, sealed, and delivered? There!"
But how the legal formula was carried out by Miss Irma is n.o.body"s business except our own--hers and mine, I mean. But at all events I went forth from the lilac clump by the well, and picked up my full water cans with a heart wondrously strengthened, and so up the path to Heathknowes with a back straight as a ramrod, because of the eyes that I knew were watching me through the c.h.i.n.ks in the wall of summer blossom.
CHAPTER XXIV
THE COLLEGE OF KING JAMES
I arrived at Edinburgh with the most astonishing ache in my heart (or, at least, in the parts adjoining), and had I met with the least pitifulness I think I should have broken down entirely. But I found a very necessary stimulus in the details of the examination for the bursary. I had no doubt as to being nominated, but when the results were posted I felt shame to be whole three places in front of Freddie Esquillant, my master in all real scholarship, almost as much as my father was--but who, on the day of trial, had spent his time in answering thoroughly half-a-dozen questions without attempting the others.
At any rate it was none such bad news to send by the carrier, who put up at the Black Bull in the Gra.s.smarket, down to my mother and grandmother in Eden Valley. I wrote to them separately, but to my father first, because he understood such things and I knew that his heart was set on Freddie and myself, though he thought (and rightly) that I was a mere clodhopper at my books compared to Fred. As far as the cla.s.sics went, my father was in the right of it. But then Freddie could not write English, except in a kind of long-winded, elaborate way, as if he were translating from Cicero, which very likely was the case.
Well, the need of keeping my head for the examiners" questions, the mending of my pens, the big barren room with the books about and the other fellows scribbling away for dear life, the landladies in this close and that square, with faces hardened and tempers sharpened by generations of needy students, out of whom they must nevertheless make their scanty livings, the penetrating Edinburgh airs, the thinness of my cloak and the clumsiness of my countrified rig--these all kept me singularly aware of myself, and prevented any yielding to the folly of homesickness, or, as in my case, "Irma-sickness," to give the trouble its proper name.
After long search I took up my lodging in a new house at the end of Rankeillor Street, in a place where there was the greenness of fields every way about, except behind in the direction of the college. It was the very last house, and from my garret window I could see the top of Arthur"s Seat and the little breakneck path feeling its way round the foot of the Salisbury Crags, afterwards to be widened into the "Radicals" Road." Southward all was green and whaup-haunted to the grey hip of Pentland, and we saw the spread of the countryside when we--that is, Freddie and I--went down the Dalkeith Road to the red-roofed hamlet of Echobank. Here, four times a week we bought a canful of milk that had to do us two days. For there was something about the taste of the town milk that scunnered us--Freddie especially being more delicately stomached than I.
Here, too, was a red-cheeked serving maid who provoked us--but more especially poor Fred, who asked nothing better than that the wench should let him alone. But I cared not so greatly--though, of course, she was nothing to me. How could she be with the gage of Miss Irma hard under my armpit, just where the Eden Valley tailor had placed my inside pocket?
Which reminds me that Fred, fluttering the leaves of his lexicon, or mooning over his beloved Greek verses (which the professor discouraged because he could not make as good himself), would sigh a little ghost of a sigh as often as he saw me take it out and lay it on the table beside me like a watch. For long I thought it was because he feared it would make me neglect my work, but now, looking back, I can see with great clearness that it was because he felt that love and suchlike were ruled out of his life. It was quite a year before I first mentioned Irma to him by name. Yet he never asked, nor showed that he noticed at all, save for that quick, gentle sigh.
As portrayed in the miniature, Irma"s mother was a gentle fair-haired woman, with a face like a flower sheltered under a broad-brimmed white beaver hat, the very mate and marrow of those I have since seen in the pictures by the great Sir Joshua. She had a dimpled chin that nested in a fluffy blurr of lace. She was as unlike as possible to my dear brave Irma, with her curls like shining jet, and the clean-cut, decisive profile. But I saw at once from whom Baby Louis had gotten his fair soft curls, his blue eyes, and the wistful appeal of his smile. They were always before me as I sat with my elbows on the ink-splattered table, and I did all my work conscious of the rebellious twist of raven curl that was on the other side. I did not open this often, only when by myself, and then with extreme care, for the gla.s.s, being old, was a little loose, and it seemed as if the vivid life in the swirl of hair actually moved it out of its place. For even so much of Irma as a curl of her locks perforce retained something of her extraordinary vitality.
It often used to come to me that Irma must be like her father over again, only with all his faults turned to good, strengthened by the determination he lacked. She had his restlessness, his brilliancy, his power over men and women. Only along with these she had strength to guide herself (which he, poor man, never had), and enough over for me also. And I have my father"s word and my own consciousness that I needed that guidance.
College life is strange and solitary at these northern universities--especially at those in the two great cities of Edinburgh and Glasgow. The lad comes up knowing perhaps one other of his age and standing. If he has a family one or two elder students will be ordered by their people to look him up. Seldom do they repeat the visit. Their circle is formed. They want no "yellow nebs."
For the rest he is alone, protected from the devil and the young l.u.s.ts of the flesh by the memory of his mother, perhaps by the remembrance that about that time his father is striving hard to pinch to pay his fees, but lastly, chiefly and most practically by those empty pockets.
If he have a family in the town, he is hardly a student like the others.
He has his comrades within cry, his houses of call, girls here and there whom he has met at dances in friendly houses, sisters and cousins of his own or of his friends--in short, all the machinery of social life to carry him on.
But for the great majority life is other and sterner. As Milton lamenting his blindness, the stranger student mourns wisdom and life "at one entrance quite shut out." The influence of women, sweeter than that of the Pleiades, is absent, save in the shape of seamy-faced grim-mouthed landladies, or, in a favourable case, which was ours (or might have been), our red-cheeked, frank-tongued, oncoming wench in the milk-house at Echobank, and the baker"s daughter across the way.
The first result of this is a great outbreak of sentimentality among the callowlings. They have pictures (oh, such caricatures!) to carry in breast-pockets--or locks of hair, like mine. Their hearts are inflammable as those of the flaxen-haired youths I met afterwards in the universities of Germany, only living on oatmeal, without sausages, and less florid with beer. Yet on the whole, the aforesaid empty purse aiding, we were filled with not dishonest sentiment, keen as sleuth-hounds on the track of knowledge, and disputatious as only lads of Calvinistic training can be.
Our landladies were much alike, our rooms furnished with the same Spartan plainness. Only in Mistress Craven I happened on a good one, and abode with her all the days of my stay at College, till the way opened out for me to wider horizons and a humaner life.
But I can see the room yet, and the narrow pa.s.sage which led to it.
Here, close to the door, was a clock with a striking apparatus of surprising shrillness to warn us of the flight of the half-hours.
"Ting!" another gone! Then, as the hour drew near, this academic clock cleared its decks for real action--almost it might be said that it cleared its throat, such a roopy gasping crow did it emit. This was technically called "the warning."
And three times a day at the sound of it we rose, gathered our books and fled fleetfoot for the college. The clock at Mistress Craven"s was set ten minutes fast, so as to leave us time to flee down the Pleasance, dodge through a side alley, cut Simon"s Square diagonally, debouch upon Drummond Street (shunning Rutherford"s change-house, with its "kittle"
step down into the cellar), and lo! there, big, barren, grey, grave, cauldrife as a Scots winter, was the College of King James--with the bell, unheard in the side-streets, fairly "gollying" at us--an appalling volume of sound--yet one which, on the whole, we minded less than the skirl and rasp of Mistress Craven"s family clock.
I have been speaking for myself. Fred Esquillant was always in time, easy, quiet, letting nothing interfere with his duty. But for me I was not built so. I watched for adventure and followed it. The dog I had met yesterday looked not in vain for a pat. A girl waved a kerchief to the student pa.s.sing with the books under his arm. She did not know me, nor I her. But in the general interests of my cla.s.s I had to wave back--without prejudice, be it said, to the black lock behind the miniature in my pocket.
We came back, as we had occasion, from our cla.s.ses to the crowded stair of our "land"--with its greasy handrail, and the faint whiff of humanity clinging about the numbered doorways. Our key grated in the lock. Mrs.
Craven opened the kitchen door with a cry that our dinners would be ready in a jiffey. We were done with the world for the day. Henceforth four walls contained us. Many books lay tumbled about, or had to be heaped on the floor whenever the half of the table was laid for a meal.
I sat farthest from the fire, but facing it. Above and directly before my eyes was a full-rigged ship, sailing among furious painted billows directly against the lofty cliffs of a lea-sh.o.r.e, the captain on the bridge regarding this manoeuvre with the utmost complaisance. Beneath was a china shepherdess without the head--opposite a parrot with a bunch of waxen cherries in its beak.
When we took the room, the backs of the chairs had been covered with newly-washed embroidery in raspy woollens and starched linen thread.
There had also been a tablecloth, and upon it (neatly arranged by Mrs.
Craven"s daughter Amelia) a selection of the family "good books"--to wit, the Holy Bible containing entries of the Craven family, with the dates of birth altered or erased, Josephus with steel pictures, the _Saint"s Rest_ and some others. These had at once been removed, according to agreement made before taking possession, and now, wrapped in the tablecloth, reposed in a cupboard.
Only _The Cloud of Witnesses_ and Fox"s _Martyrs_ were spared at my special request. As for Freddie, he needed no other literature than his text-books, and set himself to win medals like one who had been fitted by machinery for that purpose.
Mrs. Craven was an Englishwoman who had brought herself to this by marrying a carter from Gilmerton. So she retained a pleasant habit of curtseying which her daughter, born in Edinburgh and given to snuffing up the east wind, did not in the least strive to imitate, so far at least as we were concerned.
But on the whole those rooms in Rankeillor Street were pleasant and even model lodgings. Many a fine gentleman settled in the new town fared worse, even artistically. We had on the wall in little black frames many browned prints by a man of whom we had never heard, one Hogarth by name, some of the details of which made Freddie blush and me laugh aloud. But these doubtful subjects were counterbalanced by an equal number ill.u.s.trative of the Pilgrim"s Progress, beginning at the sofa-back with the Slough of Despond, going through the Wicket Gate, past fierce Giant Pope and up craggy Hills of Difficulty to a flaming Celestial City apparently being destroyed by fire with extreme rapidity.
In a gla.s.s-fronted corner cupboard were memorials of the late Mr.
Craven. To wit, a large punch-bowl, remarkable for having melted down a flourishing business in the "carrying" way, four pair of horses with wagons to match, a yard and suitable stabling, and, finally, Mr.
Craven, late of Gilmerton, himself.
On the top shelf was all that remained of the tea-service he had presented to his "intended" when he was still at the head of the Gilmerton "yard"--she being at the time lady"s-maid at Dalkeith Palace and high in favour with "her Grace." Much art was needed in dusting these and arranging them to make cups and saucers stand so that their chipped sides would not show.
I was strictly forbidden ever to dance, flap my long arms, or otherwise disport myself near this sacred enclosure, as I sometimes did when the blood ran high or the temperature low. As for Freddie, he could do no wrong. At least, he never did. I was in despair about him, and foresaw trouble.
As to situation, we had the Meadows behind us, and (except the Sciennes and Merchiston), all was free and open as far as Bruntsfield and the Borough Muir. But towards Holyrood and the College, what a warren! You entered by deep archways into secluded yards. Here was a darksome pa.s.sage where murder might be (and no doubt had been) done. Here was an echoing gateway to a coaching inn, with a watchman ready to hit evil boys over the head with his clapper if they tried to ring his bell, the bell that announced the arrival of the Dumfries coach "Gladiator" after thirty hours" detention at the Beeftub in Moffatdale, or the shorter breathed "four" from Selkirk and Peebles that had changed horses last at c.o.c.kmuir Inn at the back of Kingside.
All this I describe so minutely, once for all, because there is more to come of it, and these precincts on the southern border of Edinburgh, where Cromwell had once encamped, were mightily familiar to me before all was done.
CHAPTER XXV