The Disentanglers

Chapter 38

"I did, sir, and I do," answered the captain. "As for _you_," he went on, "Mr. Professor Jenkins, when you found that your game was dangerous, indeed likely to be ruinous, to this scientific expedition, and to the crew of the _George Washington_--d.a.m.n you, sir--you should have dropped it. I don"t know that I ever swore at a pa.s.senger before, and I beg your pardon, you two English gentlemen, for so far forgetting myself. I don"t know, and these gentlemen don"t know, who made the corner, but I don"t think our citizens want either you or your exhibits. The whole population of the States, sir, not to mention the live stock, cannot afford to go about wearing cocoa-nut pearls, a precaution which would be necessary if I landed these venomous Berbalangs of yours on our sh.o.r.es: man and wife too, likely to have a family of young Berbalangs. Snakes are not a patch on these darkeys, and our coloured population, at least, would be busted up."

The captain paused, perhaps attracted by the chance of thus solving the negro problem.

"So, I"ll tell you what it is, gentlemen; and, Professor Jenkins, I"ll turn back and land these two native exhibits, and I"ll put _you_ on sh.o.r.e, Professor Jenkins, at Cagayan Sulu. Perhaps before a steamer touches there--which is not once in a blue moon--you"ll have had time to write an exhaustive monograph on the Berbalangs, their manners and customs."

Jenkins (who knew what awaited him) threw himself on the floor at the feet of Captain Funkal. Horrified by the abject distress of one who, after all, was their countryman, Bude and Logan induced the captain to seclude Jenkins in his cabin. They then, by their combined entreaties, prevailed on the officer to land the Berbalangs on their own island, indeed, but to drop Jenkins later on civilised sh.o.r.es. Dawn saw the _George Washington_ and the _Pendragon_ in the port of Cagayan Sulu, where the fetters of the two natives, ill looking people enough, were knocked off, and they themselves deposited on the quay, where, not being popular, they were received by a hostile demonstration. The two vessels then resumed their eastward course. The taxidermic appliances without which Jones Harvey never sailed, and the services of his staff of taxidermists, were placed at the disposal of his brother savants. By this means a stuffed Mylodon, a stuffed Beathach, stuffed five-horned antelopes and a stuffed Bunyip, with a common gorilla and the Toltec mummy, now forever silent, were pa.s.sed through the New York Custom House, and consigned to the McCabe Museum of Natural Varieties.

The immense case that contained the discovery of Jones Harvey was also carefully conveyed to an apartment prepared for it in the same repository. The compet.i.tors sought their hotels, Te-iki-pa marching beside Logan and Jones Harvey. But, by special arrangement, either Jones Harvey or his Maori ally always slept beside their mysterious case, which they watched with pa.s.sionate attention. Two or three days were spent in setting up the stuffed exhibits. Then the trustees, through _The Yellow Flag_ (the paper founded by the late Mr. McCabe), announced to the startled citizens the nature of the compet.i.tion. On successive days the vast theatre of the McCabe Museum would be open, and each compet.i.tor, in turn, would display to the public his contribution, and lecture on his adventures and on the variety of nature which he had secured.

While the death of the animals was deplored, nothing was said, for obvious reasons, about the causes of the catastrophe.

The general excitement was intense. Interviewers scoured the city, and flocked, to little purpose, around the officials of the McCabe Museum.

Special trains were run from all quarters. The hotels were thronged.

"America," it was announced, "had taken hold of science, and was just going to make science hum."

On the first day of the exhibition, Dr. Hiram Dodge displayed the stuffed Mylodon. The agitation was unprecedented. America had bred, in ancient days, and an American citizen had discovered, the monstrous yet amiable animal whence prehistoric Patagonia drew her milk supplies and cheese stuffs. Mr. Dodge"s adventures, he modestly said, could only be adequately narrated by Mr. Rider Haggard. Unluckily the Mylodon had not survived the conditions of the voyage, the change of climates. The applause was thunderous. Mr. Dodge gracefully expressed his obligations to his fair and friendly rival, Mr. Jones Harvey, who had loaned his taxidermic appliances. It did not appear to the public that the Mylodon could be excelled in interest. The Toltec mummy, as he could no longer talk, was flat on a falling market, nor was Mr. Rustler"s narrative of its conversational powers accepted by the scepticism of the populace, though it was corroborated by Captain Funkal, Professor Dodge, and Professor Wilkinson, who swore affidavits before a notary, within the hearing of the mult.i.tude. The Beathach, exhibited by Professor Potter, was reckoned of high anatomical interest by scientific characters, but it was not of American habitat, and left the people relatively cold. On the other hand, all the Macleans and Macdonnells of Canada and Nova Scotia wept tears of joy at the corroboration of their tribal legends, and the popularity of Professor Potter rivalled even that of Mr. Ian Maclaren. He was at once engaged by Major Pond for a series of lectures. The adventures of Howard Fry, in the taking of his gorilla, were reckoned interesting, as were those of the captor of the Bunyip, but both animals were now undeniably dead. The people could not feed them with waffles and hominy cakes in the gardens of the inst.i.tute. The savants wrangled on the anatomical differences and resemblances of the Bunyip and the Beathach; still the critters were, to the general mind, only stuffed specimens, though unique. The African five-horned brutes (though in quieter times they would have scored a triumph) did not now appeal to the heart of the people.

At last came the day when, in the huge crowded amphitheatre, with Te-iki- pa by his side, Jones Harvey addressed the congregation. First he exhibited a skeleton of a dinornis, a bird of about twenty-five feet in height.

"Now," he went on, "thanks to the a.s.sistance of a Maori gentleman, my friend the Tohunga Te-iki-pa"--(cheers, Te-iki bows his acknowledgments)--"I propose to exhibit to you _this_."

With a touch on the mechanism he unrolled the valves of a gigantic incubator. Within, rec.u.mbent on cotton wool, the almost frenzied spectators perceived two monstrous eggs, like those of the Roc of Arabian fable. Te-iki-pa now chanted a brief psalm in his own language. One of the eggs rolled gently in its place; then the other. A faint crackling noise was heard, first from one, then from the other egg. From each emerged the featherless head of a fowl--the species. .h.i.therto unknown to the American continent. The necks pushed forth, then the shoulders, then both sh.e.l.ls rolled away in fragments, and the spectators gazed on two fledgling Moas. Te-iki-pa, on inspection, p.r.o.nounced them to be c.o.c.k and hen, and in healthy condition. The breed, he said, could doubtless be acclimatised.

The professors of the museum, by Jones Harvey"s request, then closely examined the chickens. There could be no doubt of it, they unanimously a.s.serted: these specimens were living deinornithe (which for scientific men, is not a bad shot at the dual of deinornis). The American continent was now endowed, through the enterprise of Mr. Jones Harvey, not only with living specimens, but with a probable breed of a species. .h.i.therto thought extinct.

The cheering was led by Captain Funkal, who waved the Stars and Stripes and the Union Jack. Words cannot do justice to the scene. Women fainted, strong men wept, enemies embraced each other. For details we must refer to the files of _The Yellow Flag_. A _plebiscite_ to select the winner of the McCabe Prize was organised by that Journal. The Moas (bred and exhibited by Mr. Jones Harvey) simply romped in, by 1,732,901 votes, the Mylodon being a bad second, thanks to the Irish vote.

Bude telegraphed "Victory," and Miss McCabe by cable answered "Bully for us."

The secret of these lovers was well kept. None who watches the fascinating Countess of Bude as she moves through the gilded saloons of Mayfair guesses that her hand was once the prize of success in a scientific exploration. The ident.i.ty of Jones Harvey remains a puzzle to the learned. For the rest, a letter in which Jenkins told the story of the Berbalangs was rejected by the Editor of _Nature_, and has not yet pa.s.sed even the Literary Committee of the Society for Psychical Research.

The cla.s.sical authority on the Berbalangs is still the paper by Mr.

Skertchley in the _Journal_ of the Asiatic Society of Bengal. {242}The scientific gentlemen who witnessed the onslaught of the Berbalangs have convinced themselves (except Jenkins) that nothing of the sort occurred in their experience. The evidence of Captain Funkal is rejected as "marine."

Te-iki-pa decided to remain in New York as custodian of the Moas. He occasionally obliges by exhibiting a few feats of native conjuring, when his performances are attended by the _elite_ of the city. He knows that his countrymen hold him in feud, but he is aware that they fear even more than they hate the ex-medicine man of his Maori Majesty.

The generosity of Bude and his Countess heaped rewards on Merton, who vainly protested that his services had not been professional.

The frequent appearance of new American novelists, whose works sell 250,000 copies in their first month, demonstrate that Mr. McCabe"s scheme for raising the level of genius has been as satisfactory as it was original. Genius is riz.

But who "cornered" the muddy pearls in Cagayan Sulu?

That secret is only known to Lady Bude, her confessor, and the Irish-American agent whom she employed. For she, as we saw, had got at the nature of poor Jenkins"s project and had acquainted herself with the wonderful properties of the pearls, which she cornered.

As a patriot, she consoles herself for the loss of the other exhibits to her country, by the reflection that Berbalangs would have been the most mischievous of pauper immigrants. But of all this Bude knows nothing.

XI. ADVENTURE OF THE MISERLY MARQUIS

I. The Marquis consults Gray and Graham

Few men were, and perhaps no marquis was so unpopular as the Marquis of Restalrig, Logan"s maternal Scotch cousin, widely removed. He was the last of his family, in the direct line, and on his death almost all his vast wealth would go to n.o.body knew where. To be sure Logan himself would succeed to the t.i.tle of Fastcastle, which descends to heirs general, but nothing worth having went with the t.i.tle. Logan had only the most distant memory of seeing the marquis when he himself was a little boy, and the marquis gave him two sixpences. His relationship to his opulent though remote kinsman had been of no service to him in the struggle for social existence. It carried no "expectations," and did not afford the most shadowy basis for a post obit. There was no entail, the marquis could do as he liked with his own.

"The Jews _may_ have been credulous in the time of Horace," Logan said, "but now they insist on the most drastic evidence of prospective wealth.

No, they won"t lend me a shekel."

Events were to prove that other financial operators were better informed than the chosen people, though to be sure their belief was displayed in a manner at once grotesque and painfully embarra.s.sing.

Why the marquis was generally disliked we might explain, historically, if we were acquainted with the tale of his infancy, early youth, and adolescence. Perhaps he had been betrayed in his affections, and was "taking it out" of mankind in general. But this notion implies that the marquis once had some affections, a point not hitherto substantiated by any evidence. Perhaps heredity was to blame, some unhappy blend of parentage. An ancestor at an unknown period may have bequeathed to the marquis the elements of his unalluring character. But the only ancestor of marked temperament was the festive Logan of Restalrig, who conspired over his cups to kidnap a king, laid out his plot on the lines of an Italian novel, and died without being detected. This heroic ancestor admitted that he hated "arguments derived from religion," and, so far, the Marquis of Restalrig was quite with him, if the arguments bore on giving to the poor, or, indeed, to any one.

In fact the marquis was that unpopular character, a miser. Your miser may be looked up to, in a way, as an ideal votary of Mammon, but he is never loved. On his vast possessions, mainly in coal-fields, he was even more detested than the ordinary run of capitalists. The cottages and farmhouses on his estates were dilapidated and insanitary beyond what is endurable. Of his many mansions, some were kept in decent repair, because he drew many shillings from tourists admitted to view them. But his favourite abode was almost as ruinous as his cottages, and an artist in search of a model for the domestic interior of the Master of Ravenswood might have found what he wanted at Kirkburn, the usual lair of this avaricious n.o.bleman. It was a keep of the sixteenth century, and looked as if it had never been papered or painted since Queen Mary"s time. But it was near the collieries; and within its blackened walls, and among its bleak fields and grimy trees, Lord Restalrig chose to live alone, with an old man and an old woman for his attendants. The woman had been his nurse; it was whispered in the district that she was also his illegal-aunt, or perhaps even, so to speak, his illegal stepmother.

At all events, she endured more than anybody but a Scotch woman who had been his nurse in childhood would have tolerated. To keep her in his service saved him the cost of a pension, which even the marquis, people thought, could hardly refuse to allow her. The other old servitor was her husband, and entirely under her domination. Both might be reckoned staunch, in the old fashion, "to the name," which Logan only bore by accident, his grandmother having wedded a kinless Logan who had no demonstrable connection with the house of Restalrig. Any mortal but the marquis would probably have brought Logan up as his heir, for the churlish peer had no nearer connection. But the marquis did more than sympathise with the Roman emperor who quoted "after me the Last Day." The emperor only meant that, after his time, he did not care how soon earth and fire were mingled. The marquis, on the other hand, gave the impression that, he once out of the way, he ardently desired the destruction of the whole human race. He was not known ever to have consciously benefited man or woman. He screwed out what he might from everybody in his power, and made no returns which the law did not exact; even these, as far as the income tax went, he kept at the lowest figure possible.

Such was the distinguished personage whose card was handed to Merton one morning at the office. There had been no previous exchange of letters, according to the rules of the Society, and yet Merton could not suppose that the marquis wished to see him on any but business matters. "He wants to put a spoke in somebody"s wheel," thought Merton, "but whose?"

He hastily scrawled a note for Logan, who, as usual, was late, put it in an envelope, and sealed it. He wrote: "_On no account come in_.

_Explanation later_! Then he gave the note to the office boy, impressed on him the necessity of placing it in Logan"s hands when he arrived, and told the boy to admit the visitor.

The marquis entered, clad in rusty black not unlike a Scotch peasant"s best raiment as worn at funerals. He held a dripping umbrella; his boots were muddy, his trousers had their frayed ends turned up. He wore a hard, cruel red face, with keen grey eyes beneath penthouses where age had touched the original tawny red with snow. Merton, bowing, took the umbrella and placed it in a stand.

"You"ll not have any snuff?" asked the marquis.

Trevor had placed a few enamelled snuff-boxes of the eighteenth century among the other costly _bibelots_ in the rooms, and, by an unusual chance, one of them actually did contain what the marquis wanted. Merton opened it and handed it to the peer, who, after trying a pinch on his nostrils, poured a quant.i.ty into his hand and thence into a little black mull made of horn, which he took from his breast pocket. "It"s good," he said. "Better than I get at Kirkburn. You"ll know who I am?" His accent was nearly as broad as that of one of his own hinds, and he sometimes used Scottish words, to Merton"s perplexity.

"Every one has heard of the Marquis of Restalrig," said Merton.

"Ay, and little to his good, I"ll be bound?"

"I do not listen to gossip," said Merton. "I presume, though you have not addressed me by letter, that your visit is not unconnected with business?"

"No, no, no letters! I never was wasteful in postage stamps. But as I was in London, to see the doctor, for the Edinburgh ones can make nothing of the case--a kind of dwawming--I looked in at auld Nicky Maxwell"s. She gave me a good character of you, and she is one to lippen to. And you make no charge for a first interview."

Merton vaguely conjectured that to "lippen" implied some sort of caress; however, he only said that he was obliged to Miss Maxwell for her kind estimate of his firm.

"Gray and Graham, good Scots names. You"ll not be one of the Grahams of Netherby, though?"

"The name of the firm is merely conventional, a trading t.i.tle," said Merton; "if you want to know my name, there it is," and he handed his card to the marquis, who stared at it, and (apparently from motiveless acquisitiveness) put it into his pocket.

"I don"t like an alias," he said. "But it seems you are to lippen to."

From the context Merton now understood that the marquis probably wished to signify that he was to be trusted. So he bowed, and expressed a hope that he was "all that could be desired in the lippening way."

"You"re laughing at my Doric?" asked the n.o.bleman. "Well, in the only important way, it"s not at my _expense_. Ha! Ha!" He shook a lumbering laugh out of himself.

Merton smiled--and was bored.

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