Spinks looked after him sorrowfully.
"Wy couldn"t you leave him alone, Soper? You might see he didn"t want to talk."
"How could I see wot he wanted? One minute "e"s as chatty and sociable--and the next he"s up like three dozen of bottled stout.
_It"s wot I sy._ You can"t dee-pend on "im with any certainty."
That opinion was secretly shared by Miss Flossie Walker.
CHAPTER x.x.xVIII
Rickman, it seemed, was doomed to inspire that sense of agonizing uncertainty.
It was the second evening after his return. The Dinner was not going off well. Miss Walker was depressed, Mr. Spinks was not in his accustomed spirits, and Mrs. Downey had been going about with red eyes all day. Mr. Rickman had confided to her the deplorable state of his finances. And Mrs. Downey had said to herself she had known from the first that he would not be permanent.
He didn"t want to be permanent. He desired to vanish, to disappear from the boarding-house and the boarders, and from Poppy Grace on the balcony next door; to get away from every face and every voice that he had known before he knew Lucia Harden"s. Being convinced that he would never see her again, he wanted to be alone with his vivid and piercing memory of her. At first it was the pain that pierced. She had taken out her little two-edged sword and stabbed him. It wouldn"t have mattered, he said, if the sword had been a true little sword, but it wasn"t; it had snapt and left a nasty bit of steel inside him. Her last phrase was the touch that finished him. But the very sting of it created a healthy reaction. By his revolt against that solitary instance of her cruelty he had recovered his right to dwell upon her kindness. He dwelt upon it until at times he entered again into possession of the tender, beautiful, dominating dream. So intense was his hallucination, that as he walked alone in any southerly direction he still felt Muttersmoor on his right hand and Harcombe on his left, and he had waked in the morning to the sound of the sea beating upon Harmouth beach.
But these feelings visited him more rarely in the boarding-house than elsewhere. That was why he wanted to get away from it. The illusion was destroyed by these irrelevant persons of the dinner-table. Not that he noticed them much; but when he did it was to discover in them some quality that he had not observed before. He found imbecility in the manners of Spinks, coa.r.s.eness and violence in the figures of Mrs.
Downey and Miss Bishop, insipidity in the whole person of Miss Flossie Walker. And now, as he looked round the table, he wondered how it was he ever came there. After living for four weeks with Lucia Harden or the thought of her, he had a positive difficulty in recognizing even Spinks and Flossie as people he had once intimately known. Miss Roots alone, for some inscrutable reason, seemed familiar, in keeping with that divine experience to which the actual hour did violence. It was almost as if she understood.
A shrewdly sympathetic glance went out from a pair of hazel eyes set in a plain, clever, strenuous face. Miss Roots was glad, she said, to see him back again. He turned to her with the question that had never failed to flatter and delight. Was Miss Roots doing anything specially interesting now? But there was no interest in his tone.
Miss Roots looked up with a smile that would have been gay if it had not been so weary. Yes, she was collecting material for a book on Antimachus of Colophon. No, not her own book.
(At the mention of Antimachus of Colophon, Mr. Soper folded his arms and frowned with implacable resentment. Mr. Soper was convinced that these subjects were introduced on purpose to exclude him from the conversation.)
Miss Roots, like Mr. Rickman, lived apart from the murmur of the boarding-house. She had raised a barrier of books in a bedroom six feet by nine, behind which she worked obscurely. She had never been known to converse until Mr. Rickman came. A sort of fluctuating friendship had sprung up between Mr. Rickman and Miss Roots. He had an odd feeling, half pity, half liking, for this humble servant of literature, doomed to its labour, ignorant of its delight. And yet Miss Roots had a heart which went out to the mad-cap journalist, wild with youth and the joy of letters. And now these things were coming back to her. The sources of intellectual desire had been drying up with the blood in her cheeks; but when Rickman came they began to flow again. When Rickman talked as only he could talk, Miss Roots felt a faint fervour, a reminiscent thrill. She preened her poor little thoughts as if for pairing time, when soul fluttered to soul across the dinner-table. She knew that, intellectually speaking, she had been a.s.signed to Rickman; for Mrs. Downey held that just as Mr. Rickman was the first to rouse Miss Roots to conversation, so Miss Roots alone had the power of drawing him out to the best advantage.
"Indeed?" said Rickman in a voice devoid of all intelligence.
Now if anything could have drawn Mr. Rickman out it was Antimachus of Colophon. Four weeks ago he would have been more interested in Antimachus than Miss Roots herself, he would have talked about him by the hour together. So that when he said nothing but "Indeed?" she perceived that something was the matter with him. But she also perceived that he was anxious to be talked to, therefore she talked on.
Miss Roots was right; though his mind was unable to take in a word she said to him, he listened, soothed by the singular refinement of her voice. It was a quality he had not noticed in it four weeks ago.
Suddenly a word flashed out, dividing the evening with a line of light.
"So you"ve been staying in Harmouth?"
He started noticeably, and looked at her as if he had not heard. Miss Roots seemed unaware of having said anything specially luminous; she repeated her question with a smile.
"Why?" he asked. "Have you been there?"
"I"ve not only been there, I was born there."
He looked at her. Miss Roots had always been, to say the least of it, prosaic, and now it was as if poetry had dropped from her lips, as if she had said, "I too was born in Arcadia."
"I suppose," she said, "you saw that beautiful old house by the river?"
"Which beautiful old house by the river?"
"Court House. You see it from the bridge. You must have noticed it."
"Oh, yes, I know the one you mean."
"Did you happen to see or hear anything of the lady who lives in it?
Miss Lucia Harden?"
"I--I must have seen her, but I can"t exactly say. Do you know her?"
His words seemed to be torn from him in pieces, shaken by the violent beating of his heart.
"Know her?" said Miss Roots. "I lived five years with her. I taught her."
He looked at her again in wonder, in wonder and a sort of tenderness.
For a second his heart had come to life again and leapt like a lunatic to his lips. Happily his wits were there before it. He stroked his upper lip, as if brushing away some wild phrase that sat there.
"Then I"m sure," he said, contriving a smile, "that Miss Harden is an exceedingly well educated lady."
Miss Roots" hazel eyes looked up at him intelligently; but as they met that unnatural smile of gallantry there was a queer compression of her shrewd and strenuous face. She changed the subject. He wondered if by any chance she knew; if she corresponded with Miss Harden; if Miss Harden had mentioned him in the days before her troubles came; if Miss Roots were trying to test him, to draw him out as she had never drawn him out before. No, it was not in the least likely that Miss Harden should have mentioned him; if she had, Miss Roots would have said so.
She would never have set a trap for him; she was a kind and straightforward little lady. Her queer look meant nothing, it was only her way of dealing with a compliment.
The sweat on his forehead witnessed to the hot labour of his thought.
He wondered whether anybody had observed it.
Mr. Soper had, and drew his own conclusions.
""E"s been at it again," said Mr. Soper, with significance. But n.o.body took any notice of him; and upstairs in the drawing-room that night his bon-bons failed to charm.
"I suppose you"re pleased," said he, approaching his hostess, "now you"ve got Mr. Rickman back again?"
A deeper flush than the Dinner could account for was Mrs. Downey"s sole reply.
""is manners "aven"t improved since "is residence in the country. I met "im in the City to-day--wy, we were on the same slab of pavement--and "e went past and took no more notice of me than if I"d been the Peabody statue."
"Depend upon it, he was full of something."
"Full of unsociability and conceit. And wot is "e? Wot is "e? "Is father keeps a bookshop."
"A very fine bookshop, too," said Miss Roots. It was the first time that she had ever spoken of her own accord to Mr. Soper.
"He may have come out lately, but you should have seen the way "e began, in a dirty little second "and shop in the City. A place," said Mr. Soper, "I wouldn"t "ave put my nose into if I was paid. Crammed full of narsty, mangy, "Olloway Street rubbish."
"Look here now," said Mr. Spinks, now scarlet with fury, "you needn"t throw his business in his face, for he"s chucked it."
"I don"t think any the better of him for that."