At seven he again refused Miss Harden"s hospitality and withdrew to his hotel. He was to return before nine to let her know his decision, and as yet he had done nothing towards thinking it out.
A letter had come for him by the evening post. It had been forwarded from his rooms and ran thus.
"My dear Rickets:
"I haven"t forgotten about your little supper, so mind you turn up at our little pic-nic before d.i.c.ky drinks all the champagne.
It"s going to be awfully select.
"Ever your own and n.o.body else"s,
"Poppy Grace.
"P.S.--How is your poor head?"
There are many ways of being kind and that was Poppy"s way. She wanted to tell him not to be cut up about Wednesday night; that, whatever d.i.c.ky Pilkington thought of his pretensions, she still reckoned him in the number of the awfully select. And lest he should have deeper grounds for uneasiness her postscript hinted in the most delicate manner possible that she had not taken him seriously, attributing his utterances to their true cause. And yet she was his own and n.o.body else"s. She was a good sort, Poppy, taking her all round.
He tried to think about Poppy and found it difficult. His mind wandered; not into the realms of fancy, but into paths strange and humiliating for a scholar and a poet. He caught himself murmuring, "Harmouth--Harcombe--Homer--Harden." He had got them all right. He never dreamed of--of dropping them when he wasn"t excited. It was only in the beaten tracks where his father had gone before him that he was apt to slide. He was triumphant over Harmouth where he might have tripped over Hammersmith. Homer and Hesiod were as safe with him as with Horace Jewdwine. (He couldn"t think how he had managed to come to grief over Homer just now. It was nerves, or luck, or pure accident, the sort of thing that might have happened to anybody.) Thank Heaven, his tongue was almost virgin to the aitch in Harden.
Harden--Lucia Harden. He knew her name and how to p.r.o.nounce it; for he had seen it written in the fly-leaf of a book, and heard it spoken by the footman who called her Miss Loocher. This he took to be a corruption of the Italian form.
Here he again tried to evoke a vivid image of Poppy; but without success. And then he remembered that he had still to think it out.
First of all, then, he would eliminate sentiment. Sentiment apart, he was by no means sure that he would do well to act on the impulse of the morning and decamp. After all, what _was_ he sure of? Was he sure that Sir Frederick Harden"s affairs, including his library, were involved beyond redemption? Put it that there was an off-chance of Sir Frederick"s financial recovery.
From the bare, uninteresting, financial point of view that event would entail some regrettable consequences for himself. He had been extremely rash. He had undertaken to accomplish three weeks" expert work to the value of fifty pounds for which he had charged fifteen, an estimate that at Rickman"s would have been considered ridiculous for a man"s bare time. He had not so much as mentioned his fare; he had refused board and lodging; and on the most sanguine computation his fees would only cover his expenses by about five pounds. The difference between fifteen pounds and fifty would have to be refunded out of his own private pocket. When it came to settling accounts with Rickman"s his position would be, to say the least of it, embarra.s.sing.
It was difficult to unravel the mental process that had led him into it; but it was not the first time that these luxurious subtleties of conscience had caused him to run short of ready money. It was only another of those innumerable occasions when he and his father failed to see face to face, and when he had had to pay for the pleasure of supporting a fantastic personal view. Only the view in this case was so hideously complicated and--and exaggerated. And this time in order to clear himself he would be compelled to borrow again from d.i.c.ky Pilkington. There was no other way. No sooner did Sir Frederick"s head appear rising above water than he saw his own hopelessly submerged.
Nevertheless it was this prospect that he found himself contemplating with all the ardour of desire. It justified not only his presence in the Harden Library, but Miss Harden"s presence as his collaborator.
With all its unpleasantness it was infinitely preferable to the other alternative. He let his mind dwell on it until the off-chance began to look like an absolute certainty.
Put it then that Sir Frederick recovered. In this case the Hardens scored. Since he had charged Miss Harden fifteen where he was ent.i.tled to fifty, the best part of his labour might be considered a free gift to the lady. What was more, in the matter of commission, he stood to lose a very considerable sum. Put it that the chances were even, and the whole business resolved itself into a game of pitch and toss.
Heads, Miss Harden lost; tails, she won; and he wasn"t responsible for the tossing.
But put it that Sir Frederick did not recover. Then he, Keith Rickman, was in a position most unpleasant for himself; but he could not make things a bit pleasanter for Miss Harden by wriggling out of it. The library would be sold whether he stayed there or not; and by staying he might possibly protect her interests in the sale. It wasn"t a nice thing to have to be keeping his eye all the time on the Aldine Plato and the Neapolitan Horace and the _Aurea Legenda_ of Wynkyn de Worde; but he would only be doing what must be done by somebody in any case.
Conclusion; however unpleasant for him to be the agent for the sale, it would be safer for Miss Harden.
And how about those confounded profits, represented by his commission?
That was easily settled. He would have nothing to do with the filthy things. He wouldn"t touch his commission with the end of the poker.
Unfortunately he would never be able to explain all this to her, and Heaven only knew what she would think of him when it all came out in the long-run, as it was bound to come. Well, it wouldn"t matter what she thought of him so long as he knew that his hands were clean.
Rickman"s" hands might not be so presentable, but they were not human hands as his were; they were the iron, irresponsible hands of a machine.
There remained his arrangements for the Bank holiday. They seemed to have been made so long ago that they hardly counted. Still, there was that engagement to Poppy Grace, and he had promised to take poor Flossie to the Hippodrome. Poor Flossie would be disappointed if he did not take her to the Hippodrome. At the moment Flossie"s disappointment presented itself as considerably more vital than his own.
To-morrow, then, being Sat.u.r.day, he would go up to town; and on Monday he would return to his ambiguous post.
He had thought it out.
CHAPTER XVII
"There"s a lot of rot," said Mr. Rickman, "talked about Greek tragedy.
But really, if you come to think of it, it"s only in Sophocles you get the tragedy of Fate. There isn"t any such thing in aeschylus, you know."
He had gone up to acquaint Miss Harden with his decision and had been led off into this hopeful track by the seductions that still lurked in the Euripides.
"There"s Nemesis, which is the same thing," said she.
"Not at all the same thing. Nemesis is simply the horrid jealousy of the G.o.ds; and the responsibility lies with the person who provokes them, whether it"s Prometheus, or Agamemnon, or Agamemnon"s great great grandfather. It"s the tragedy of human responsibility, the most brutal tragedy of all. All these people are crumpled up with it, they go about tearing their hair over it, and howling out [Greek: drasanti pathein]. There isn"t any Fate in that, you know. Is there?"
He did not wait for an answer.
"In Sophocles now, it"s all the other way about. His people aren"t responsible in the least. They"re just a thundering lot of lunatics.
They go knocking their poor heads against the divine law, and trying to see which is the hardest, till they end by breaking both. There"s no question of paying for the damage. It"s pure Fate."
"Well--and Euripides?"
"Oh, Euripides goes on another tack altogether. There aren"t any laws to break, yet everybody"s miserable all round, and n.o.body"s responsible. It"s [Greek: to pathonti pathein]. They suffer because they suffer, and there"s an end of it. And it"s the end of Fate in Greek tragedy. I know this isn"t the orthodox view of it."
He paused, a little out of breath, for he had talked as usual against time, leaving behind him a luminous trail of ideas struck out furiously as he rushed along. His excitement was of the strong-winged kind that carried him triumphantly over all obstacles, even the barrier of the aitch.
Was she listening?
She was; but as she listened she looked down, and her fingers played with the slender gold chain that went twice round her throat and fell among the laces of her gown. On her mouth there was the same smile he had seen when he first saw her; he took it for a smile of innermost amus.e.m.e.nt. It didn"t lurk; there was nothing underhand about it. It hovered, delicately poised for flight.
"Euripides," she said, "had the deeper insight, then. He knew that character is destiny."
"That character is destiny? Whose character? For all I know your character may be my destiny."
It was one of those unconsidered speeches, flashed out in the heat of argument, which nevertheless, once uttered are felt to be terrific and momentous. He wondered how Miss Harden would take it. She took it (as she seemed to take most things) calmly.
"No character could have any power over you except through your own."
"Perhaps not. All the same, you are not me, you are something outside.
You would be my destiny."
He paused again. Personalities were pitfalls which he must avoid. No such danger existed for the lady; she simply ignored it; her mind never touched those deeper issues of the discussion where his floundered, perilously immersed. Still she was not unwilling to pursue the theme.
"It all depends," said she, "on what you mean by destiny."
"Well, say I mean the end, the end I"m moving towards, the end I ultimately arrive at--"
"Surely that depends on your character, your character, of course, as a whole."
"It may or mayn"t. It may depend on what I eat or don"t eat for dinner, on the paper I take in or the pattern of my waistcoat. And the end may be utterly repellent to my character as a whole. Say I end by adopting an unsuitable profession. Is that my character or my destiny?"