On their way to the dining-room he remarked: "That"s another reason why I sent for you. Because I hear they"ve not been particularly kind to you. Don"t suppose I"m going to pity you for that."
"I don"t pity myself, sir."
"No--no--you don"t. That"s what I like about you," he added, taking his guest by the arm and steering him to his place.
At luncheon Miss Gurney took a prominent part in the conversation, which Rickman for her sake endeavoured to divert from the enthralling subject of himself. But his host (perceiving with evident amus.e.m.e.nt his modest intention) brought it up again.
"Don"t imagine, for a moment," said he, "that Miss Gurney admires you.
She hates young poets."
Miss Gurney smiled; but as Rickman saw, more in a.s.sent than polite denial. Throughout the meal she had the air of merely tolerating his presence there because it humoured the great man"s eccentricity. From time to time she looked at him with an interest in which he detected a certain fear. The fear, he gathered, was lest his coming should disturb, or in any way do harm to the object of her flagrant adoration.
After she had left the table Fielding reproached him for mixing water with his wine.
"In one way," said he, "you"re a disappointment. I should have preferred to see you drink your wine like a man."
"Unfortunately," said Rickman, "it"s not so easy to drink it like a man, if you"ve ever drunk it like a beast."
"Ah-h. You"re an even more remarkable person than I thought you were,"
said the poet, rising abruptly from the table.
He proposed that they should take a walk in the garden, or rather on the moor; for the heather ran crimson to the poet"s doors, and the young pines stood sentinel at his windows.
They walked slowly towards the lake. On their way there Fielding stopped and drew a deep breath, filling his lungs with the pure, sweet air.
"Ah! that"s better." He looked round him. "After all, we"re right, Rickman. It"s the poets that shall judge the world; and if _we_ say it"s beautiful, it _is_ beautiful. _And_ good."
Happy Fielding, thought Rickman. Fielding had never suffered as he had suffered; _his_ dream had never been divorced from reality. It seemed fitting to the younger poet that his G.o.d should inhabit these pure and lofty s.p.a.ces, should walk thus on golden roads through a land of crimson, in an atmosphere of crystal calm. He would have liked to talk to Fielding of Fielding; but his awe restrained him.
Fielding"s mind did not wander long from his companion. "Let me see,"
said he, "do you follow any trade or profession?" He added with a smile, "besides your own?"
"I"m a journalist." Rickman mentioned his connection with _The Museion_ and _The Planet_.
"Ah, I knew there was an unlucky star somewhere. Well, at any rate, you won"t have to turn your Muse on to the streets to get your living.
But a trade"s better than a profession; and a craft"s better than a trade. It doesn"t monopolize the higher centres. I certainly had the impression that you had been in trade."
Rickman wondered who could have given it to him. Miss Gurney"s friend, he supposed. But who was Miss Gurney"s friend? A hope came to him that made his heart stand still. But he answered calmly.
"I was. I worked for two years in a second-hand bookshop as a bibliographical expert; and before that I stood behind the counter most of my time."
"Why did you leave it? You weren"t ashamed of your trade?"
"Not of my trade, but of the way I had to follow it. I"m not ashamed of working for Mr. Horace Jewdwine."
He brought the name in awkwardly. In bringing it in at all he had some vague hope that it might lead Fielding to disclose the ident.i.ty of the friend. Horace Jewdwine was a link; if his name were familiar to Fielding there would be no proof perhaps, but a very strong presumption that what he hoped was true.
"He is a friend of yours?"
"Yes." His hope leapt high; but Fielding dashed it to the ground.
"I never heard of him. I see," he said, "you"ve got a conscience. Have you also got a wife?"
"Not yet--but--"
"Good. So young a man as you cannot afford to keep _both_. I am so old that I may be pardoned if I give you some advice. But why should I?
You won"t take it."
"I should like to hear it all the same, sir."
"Well, well, it"s cheap enough. Whatever you do, don"t fritter yourself away upon the sort of women it may be your misfortune to have met."
It was beautifully done, this first intimation of his consciousness of any difference between them; between Rickman who had glorified a variety actress, and Walter Fielding whose Muse had "always had the manners of an English gentlewoman." And to Rickman"s heart, amid vivid images of Poppies and Flossies, the memory of Lucia Harden stirred like a dividing sword.
"That is my advice," said Fielding. "But you will not take it."
"These things," said Rickman, "are not always in our power."
In the silence which followed he put the question that was burning in him.
"May I ask who the friend was who told Miss Gurney about me?"
"You may ask Miss Gurney; but I do not think she"ll tell you. It seems to be a secret, and Miss Gurney, strange to say, is a young woman who can keep a secret."
He led the way to a seat overlooking the lake where they sat for awhile in silence, and Rickman found his thoughts roaming from his G.o.d.
Presently Fielding rose and turned back to the house. Rickman felt that the slow footsteps were measuring now the moments that he had to be with him. He was glad that they were slow.
Fielding stopped at his house-door, and stood for a second gazing earnestly at the young man.
"When you write anything," he said, "you may always send it to me. But no more--please--no more _Saturnalia_."
"There won"t be any more _Saturnalia_."
"Good. I do not ask you to come again to see me."
Rickman struggled for an answer, but could not think of anything better than, "It"s enough for me to have seen you once," which was not at all what he had meant to say.
Fielding smiled faintly; his humour pleased, Rickman fancied, with the ambiguity of his shy speech.
"I"m afraid I"ve tired you, sir," he said impulsively.
"You have not tired me. I tire myself. But here is Miss Gurney; she will look after you and give you tea."
"Geniality," he continued, "is not my strong point, as you may have perceived. And any unnatural effort of the kind fatigues me. My own fault."
"You have been very generous to me."
"Generous? There can"t be any generosity between equals. Only a simple act of justice. It is you who have been good to me."