Reaching out, Herb Asher took the boy in his arms. He hugged him tight.
"And this is Zina," Elias Tate said. "Emmanuel"s friend." He took the girl by the hand and led her to Herb Asher. "She"s a little older than Manny.""
"h.e.l.lo," Herb Asher said. But he did not care about her; he wanted to look at Rybys"s son. Ten years, he thought. This child has grown while I dreamed and dreamed, thinking I was alive when in fact I was not. Elias said, "She helps him. She teaches him. More than the school does. More than I do."
Looking toward the girl Herb Asher saw a beautiful pale heart-shaped face with eyes that danced with light. What a pretty child, he thought, and turned back to Rybys"s son. But then, struck by something, he looked once more at the girl. Mischief showed on her face. Especially in her eyes. Yes, he thought; there is something in her eyes. A kind of knowledge.
"They"ve been together four years now," Elias said. "She gave him a high-technology slate. It"s some kind of advanced computer terminal. It asks him questions-poses questions to him and gives him hints. Right, Manny?"
Emmanuel said, "h.e.l.lo, Herb Asher." He seemed solemn and subdued, in contrast to the girl.
"h.e.l.lo," he said to Emmanuel. "How much you look like your mother."
"In that crucible we grow," Emmanuel said, cryptically. He did not amplify.
"Are-" Herb did not know what to say. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes." The boy nodded.
"You have a heavy burden on you," Herb said.
"The slate plays tricks," Emmanuel said. There was silence.
"What"s wrong?" Herb said to Elias. To the boy, Elias said, "Something is wrong, isn"t it?"
"While my mother died," Emmanuel said, gazing fixedly at Herb Asher, "you listened to an illusion. She does not exist, that image. Your Fox is a phantasm, nothing else."
"That was a long time ago," Herb said.
"The phantasm is with us in the world," Emmanuel said.
"That"s not my problem," Herb said. Emmanuel said, "But it is mine. I mean to solve it. Not now but at the proper time. You fell asleep, Herb Asher, because a voice told you to fall asleep. This world here, this planet, all of it, all its people-everything here sleeps. I have watched it for ten years and there is nothing good I can say about it. What you did it does; what you were it is. Maybe you still sleep. Do you sleep, Herb Asher? You dreamed about my mother while you lay in cryonic suspension. I tapped your dreams. From them I learned a lot about her. I am as much her as I am myself. As I told her, she lives on in me and as me; I have made her deathless-your wife is here, not back in that littered dome. Do you realize that? Look at me and you see Rybys whom you ignored."
Herb Asher said, "I-"
"There is nothing for you to tell me," Emmanuel said. "I read your heart, not your words. I knew you then and I know you now. Herbert, Herbert," I called to you. I summoned you back to life, for your sake and for hers, and, because it was for her sake, it was for my sake. When you helped her you helped me. And when you ignored her you ignored me. Thus says your G.o.d."
Reaching out, Elias put his arm around Herb Asher, to rea.s.sure him.
"I will always speak the truth to you, Herb Asher," the boy continued. "There is no deceit in G.o.d. I want you to live. I made you live once before, when you lay in psychological death. G.o.d does not desire any living thing"s death; G.o.d takes no delight in nonexistence. Do you know what G.o.d is, Herb Asher? G.o.d is He Who causes to be. Put another way, if you seek the basis of being that underlies everything you will surely find G.o.d. You can work back to G.o.d from the phenomenal universe, or you can move from the Creator to the phenomenal universe. Each implies the other. The Creator would not be the Creator if there were no universe, and the universe would cease to be if the Creator did not sustain it. The Creator does not exist prior to the universe in time; he does not exist in time at all. G.o.d creates the universe constantly; he is with it, not above or behind it. This is im- possible to understand for you because you are a created thing and exist in time. But eventually you will return to your Creator and then you will again no longer exist in time. You are the breath of your Creator, and as he breathes in and out, you live. Remember that, for that sums up everything that you need to know about your G.o.d. There is first an exhalation from G.o.d, on the part of all creation; and then, at a certain point, it starts its journey back, its inhalation. This cycle never ceases. You leave me; you are away from me; you start back; you rejoin me. You and everything else. It is a process, an event. It is an activity- my activity. It is the rhythm of my own being, and it sustains you all."
Amazing, Herb Asher thought. A ten-year-old boy. Her son speaking this.
"Emmanuel," the girl Zina said, "you are ponderous."
Smiling at her the boy said, "Games, then? Would that be better? There are events ahead that I must shape. I must arouse fire that burns, that sears. Scripture says: For He is like a refiner"s fire.
And Scripture also says:
And who can abide the day of His coming?I say, however, that it will be more than this; I say:The day comes, glowing like a furnace; all the arrogant and the evil-doers shall be chaff, and that day when it comes shall set them ablaze; it shall leave them neither root nor branch.
What do you say to that, Herb Asher?" Emmanuel gazed at him intently, awaiting his response. Zina said: But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in his wings.
"That is true," Emmanuel said. In a low voice Elias said: And you shall break loose like calves released from the stall.
"Yes," Emmanuel said. He nodded. Herb Asher, returning the boy"s gaze, said, "I am afraid. I really am." He was glad of the arm around him, the rea.s.suring arm of Elias. In a reasonable tone of voice, a mild tone, Zina said, "He won"t do all those terrible things. That"s to scare people."
"Zina!" Elias said. Laughing, she said, "It"s true. Ask him."
"You will not put the Lord your G.o.d to the test," Emmanuel said.
"I"m not afraid," Zina said quietly. Emmanuel, to her, said: I will break you, like a rod of iron. I shall dash you, in pieces, Like a potter"s vessel.
"No," Zina said. To Herb Asher she said, "There is nothing to fear. It"s a manner of talking, no more. Come to me if you get scared and I will converse with you."
"That is true," Emmanuel said. "If you are seized and taken down into the prison she will go with you. She will never leave you." An unhappy expression crossed his face; suddenly he was, again, a ten-year-old boy. "But-"
"What is it?" Elias said.
"I will not say now," Emmanuel said, speaking with diffi- culty. Herb Asher, to his disbelief, saw tears in the boy"s eyes. "Perhaps I will never say it. She knows what I mean."
"Yes," Zina said, and she smiled. Mischief lay in her smile, or so it seemed to Herb Asher. It puzzled him. He did not under- stand the invisible transaction taking place between Rybys"s son and the girl. It troubled him, and his fear became greater. His sense of deep unease.
The four of them had dinner together that night.
"Where do you live?" Herb Asher asked the girl. "Do you have a family? Parents?"
"Technically I"m a ward of the government school we go to," Zina said. "But for all intents and purposes I"m in Elias"s custody now. He"s in the process of becoming my guardian."
Elias, eating, paying attention to his plate of food, said, "We are a family, the three of us. And now you also, Herb."
"I may go back to my dome," Herb said. "In the CY3O- CY3OB system."
Staring at him, Elias halted in his eating, forkful of food raised. "Why?"
"I"m uncomfortable here," Herb said. He had not worked it out; his feelings remained vague. But they were intense feelings. "It"s oppressive here. There"s more of a sense of freedom out there."
"Freedom to lie in your bunk listening to Linda Fox?" Elias said.
"No." He shook his head.
Zina said, "Emmanuel, you scare nim with your talk about afflicting the Earth with fire. He remembers the plagues in the Bible. What happened with Egypt."
"I want to go home," Herb said, simply. Emmanuel said, "You miss Rybys."
"Yes." That was true.
"She isn"t there," Emmanuel reminded him. He ate slowly, somberly, bite after bite. As if, Herb thought, eating was for him a solemn ritual. A matter of consuming something sanctified.
"Can"t you bring her back?" he said to Emmanuel. The boy did not respond. He continued to eat.
"No answer?" Herb said, with bitterness.
"I am not here for that," Emmanuel said. "She understood. It is not important that you understand, but it was important that she know. And I caused her to know. You remember; you were there on that day, the day I told her what lay ahead."
"Okay," Herb said.
"She lives elsewhere now," Emmanuel said. "You-"
"Okay," he repeated, with anger, enormous anger. To him, Emmanuel said, speaking slowly and quietly, his face calm, "You do not grasp the situation, Herbert. It is not a good universe that I strive for, nor a just one, nor a pretty one; the existence of the universe itself is at stake. Final victory for Belial does not mean imprisonment for the human race, continued slav- ery, but nonexistence; without me, there is nothing, not even Belial, whom I created."
"Eat your dinner," Zina said in a gentle voice.
"The power of evil," Emmanuel continued, "is the ceasing of reality, the ceasing of existence itself. It is the slow slipping away of everything that is, until it becomes, like Linda Fox, a phantasm. That process has begun. It began with the primal fall. Part of the cosmos fell away. The G.o.dhead itself suffered a crisis; can you fathom that, Herb Asher? A crisis in the Ground of Being? What does that convey to you? The possibility of the G.o.dhead ceasing-does it convey that to you? Because the G.o.d- head is all that stands between-" He broke off. "You can"t even imagine it. No creature can imagine nonbeing, especially its own nonbeing. I must guarantee being, all being. Including yours. Herb Asher said nothing.
"A war is coming," Emmanuel said. "We will choose our ground. It will be for us, the two of us, Belial and me, a table, on which we play. Over which we wager the universe, the being of being as such. I initiate this final part of the ages of war; I have advanced into Belial"s territory, his home. I have moved forward to meet him, not the other way around. Time will tell if it was a wise idea."
"Can"t you foresee the results?" Herb said. Emmanuel regarded him. Silently.
"You can," Herb said. You know what the outcome will be, he realized. You know now; you knew when you entered Rybys"s womb. You knew from the beginning of creation-before crea- tion, in fact; before a universe existed.
"They will play by rules," Zina said. "Rules agreed on."
"Then," Herb said, "that"s why Belial has not attacked you. That"s why you"ve been able to live here and grow up-for ten years. He knows you"re here-"
"Does he know?" Emmanuel said. Silence.
"I haven"t told him," Emmanuel said. "It is not my burden. He must find out for himself. I do not mean the government. I mean the power that truly rules, in comparison to which the government, all governments, are shadows."
"He"ll tell him when he"s ready," Zina said. "Good and ready."
Herb said, "Are you good and ready, Emmanuel?"
The boy smiled. A child"s smile, a shift away from the stern countenance of a moment before. He said nothing. A game, Herb Asher realized. A child"s game! Seeing this he trembled. Zina said: Time is a child at play, playing draughts; a child"s is the kingdom.
" What is that?" Elias said. It is not from Judaism," Zina said obscurely. She did not amplify.
The part of him that derives from his mother, Herb Asher realized, is ten years old. And the part of him that is Yah has no age: it is infinity itself. A compound of the very young and the timeless: precisely what Zina in her arcane quote had stated. Perhaps this was not unique. this mixture. Someone had noted it before: noted it and declared it in words.
"You venture into Belials realm," Zina said to Emmanuel as she ate, "but would you have the courage to venture into my realm?"
What realm is that?" Emmanuel said. Elias Tate stared at the girl, and, equally puzzled, Herb Asher regarded her. But Emmanuel seemed to understand her; he showed no surprise. Despite his question, Herb Asher thought, he knows-knows already. Zina said, Where I am not as you see me now. An interval of silence pa.s.sed, as Emmanuel pondered. He did not answer: he sat as if withdrawn, as if his mind had moved far away. Skimming countless worlds, Herb Asher thought. How strange this is. What are they talking about? Emmanuel said slowly and carefully, I have a dreadful land to deal with, Zina. I have no time." A think you are apprehensive," Zina said. She turned to her slice of apple pie and mound of ice cream.
Emmanuel said.
"Come, then," she said, and, all at once, the color and fire, the mischief and delight, showed in her dark eyes. "I challenge you," she said. Here." She reached out her hand to the boy. My psychopomp," Emmanuel said somberly.
"Yes; I"ll be your guide." You would lead the Lord your G.o.d?"
"I would like to show you where the bells come from. The land out of which their sounds come. What do you say?" He said, I will go."
"What are you two talking about?" Elias said, with apprehension. "Manny, what is this? What does she mean? She"s not taking you anywhere that I don"t know about."
Emmanuel glanced at him.
"You have much to do," Elias said.
"There is no realm," Emmanuel said, "where I am not. If it is a genuine place and not fancy. Is your realm fancy, Zina?" "No," she said. "It is real." "Where is it?" Elias said. Zina said, "It is here."
"Here"?" Elias said. "What do you mean? I see what"s here; here is here."
"She is right," Emmanuel said. "The soul of G.o.d," he said to Zina, "follows you."
"And trusts me?"
"This is a game," Emmanuel said. "Everything is a game for you. I will play the game. I can do that. I will play and come back. Back to this realm."
Zina said, "Do you find this realm so valuable to you?"
"It is a dreadful place," Emmanuel said. "But it is here that I must act on that great and terrible day."
"Postpone that day," Zina said. "I will postpone it; I will show you the bells that you hear, and as a result that day will-" She broke off.
"It will still come," Emmanuel said. "It is foreordained."
"Then we shall play now," Zina said cryptically. Both Herb and Elias remained puzzled; Herb Asher thought, Each of them knows what the other means, but I don"t. Where is she taking him if it is here? We are here now.
Emmanuel said, "The Secret Commonwealth."
"d.a.m.n it, no!" Elias exclaimed, and hurled his cup across the room; it shattered against the far wall, in many little pieces. "Manny-I have heard of that place!"
"What is it?" Herb Asher said, astonished at the old man"s fury. Zina said calmly, "That"s the correct term. "Of a middle nature betwixt man and angel," " she quoted.
"You are being piped away!" Elias said furiously; leaning forward he seized hold of the boy with his great hands.
"That is so," Emmanuel said.
"You know where she is taking you?" Elias said. "You do know. You have no fear, Manny; that is a mistake. You should be afraid." To Zina he said, "Get out of here! I did not know what you are." With violence and dismay he regarded her, his lips working. "I did not know you; I didn"t understand."
"He did," Zina said. "Emmanuel knew. The slate told him."