"Your better life is worthier of you, Dr Campbell," I managed to reply. "You were disposed, I must admit, to make too little of your energies, which are above the ordinary level."
"It was hardly my fault," he said sadly, "I was in a sort of stupor, I believe. I rejected the light of faith and morals from my life, and tried to imagine myself above it. What else could I expect but the result which followed?"
He was terribly in earnest, his brow was deeply contracted and his face was whiter than the pale moonlight.
"Then you are a better man for it in every way, I perceive," was my timid rejoinder.
"I hope so, Amey, I have tried hard to be."
I was startled by the mention of my own name in such a solemn tone, but my heart was swelling with a rushing tide of sympathy for the man who had so p.r.o.nounced it.
"Then you will not regret it, believe me," I said, infusing a buoyant encouragement into my voice.
"No, I will not, I feel sure," he answered, disengaging his hands and leaning one elbow on the bar to support his face in his palm. We stood for a few seconds in silence, during which I looked abstractedly into the s.p.a.ce before me. I knew that his eyes were turned upon me, although I could not see them. Suddenly he said in a low tone, almost in a whisper.
"I wish I could read your thoughts, Amey?"
I looked at him quickly, and laughed. Before I had time to make any reply, the door of the house was opened wide, and cousin Bessie accompanied by her husband and Louis, stepped out upon the platform. A beam of lamplight fell full upon Arthur Campbell"s face, which was stern and white, he gave me his unsteady hand, and said brusquely:
"Good-night! I will come and see you to-morrow if you will let me?"
He raised his hat, and bowing with a touch of his old grace and gallantry, he strode away.
"Well, well Amey!" said Mr. Nyle, in a teasing voice as I turned and confronted the family trio. "I never would have thought this of _you_!
you might have told us something about it, I"m sure--eh Bessie?"
"Oh we have no right to know her little secrets" cousin Bessie gently answered, while she drew on one glove. "Amey is sure not to do anything foolish, I feel certain of that. Is that the gentleman who called to see you a little while ago, Amey?" she asked, with a very discreet curiosity.
"Yes, Cousin Bessie, it is Dr. Campbell, he attended my father in his last illness, you know, I told you about him," I explained very earnestly.
"Oh yes, dear I remember! he seems to be a very nice person: I hope he will come again to see you before he goes."
"He asked leave to come to-morrow!" I answered "I suppose you don"t mind?"
"Not in the least, child, why should I?" she put in, somewhat playfully. "Come Robert! come Louis!" she added, as she descended the steps leading to the gate. "We are not over early. I hope you won"t be lonesome, Amey," she said, turning back, with one hand on the open gate.
"Not she," Mr. Nyle broke in, with mischief in his tone, "she"ll keep herself busy with such pleasant thoughts that she will never miss us--go on."
He held the gate open until Cousin Bessie and Louis had pa.s.sed out. I was standing on the topmost step waiting to see them off, and Mr. Nyle, looking at me to attract my attention, struck an att.i.tude exactly like that in which they had surprised Dr. Campbell, leaning just as languidly upon the bars.
"How silver-sweet sound lovers tongues by night, Like softest music to attending ears!"
He exclaimed, in such a ridiculously sentimental tone, that we all laughed outright, and cousin Bessie pulling him forcibly away by the coat-sleeve, looked over his shoulder at me and said consolingly:
"Never mind, Amey, he can"t throw stones from a gla.s.s house, he did this kind of thing many a time in his own day--you know you did," she added, linking her arm within his, and turning her eyes upon his beaming face with a dash of revived tenderness and old love. I caught his answering glance, with its accompanying smile so full of a deep meaning, and the tears came into my eyes. I bade them good-night and went quietly into the house.
CHAPTER XIV.
Next day Arthur Campbell came to see me, as he had said, and in Cousin Bessie"s humble little parlor, by the cheerful glowing embers, asked me to become his wife. I might have known it--perhaps I did know it, in spite of my wilful perverseness in denying it to myself, but I had not imagined it to be like this. There was no thrill or joy for me in the sound of his earnest voice, no definite sensation of that happiness which is said to attend this circ.u.mstance, no prospect of golden pleasures in the near future, that would find us united in these holy bonds.
It was a simple proposal of marriage from the lips of a man I respected and liked; a man of talent, and wealth and position, who flattered me by so generous an offer of his love. There was a glow of fire about his sentiment, mine had none, and yet I could not have given him up at that moment for all the world. I liked him, and I wanted to teach myself to like him still more. He had given up the attractions of worldly life on my account, and had gone back to the simple faith of his boyhood, he said my memory had been his only safe-guard where he had hitherto known no law, that I had "started up in the darkness of his life" like a steady and hopeful beacon-light that beckoned him on to better purposes.
"Whether you consent to marry me, or not" said he "I shall always be the better of having known and loved you, and, if you cannot love me in return, it will satisfy you perhaps to know that you have done me a great good otherwise."
I sat in silence for a moment, listening to the deep vibrations of his solemn voice, ringing through the quiet little room, the hand that supported my thoughtful face had grown cold and clammy, something weighed upon my heart, like an unfolded mystery, pregnant with sorrow or joy, I knew not which. He stood beside me, leaning one elbow against the broad, old fashioned mantel, and looking into the fire--at length I raised my eyes, and said with a timid voice.
"I do not deserve your love, Arthur--though I would now, if I could, if it were in my power."
"What do you mean Amey?" he interrupted with solemn enquiry.
I fidgeted with the folds of my drapery, for another few seconds, and then answered nervously:
"I hardly know, myself," then lifting up my eyes to his serious face again, I said as frankly as I knew how. "You have not asked me, Arthur, whether I have ever loved any one else before?"
He kept on, looking steadily at me, until his blue eyes seemed to have penetrated the very farthest depths of my soul; then, he answered, slowly, and with thrilling emphasis.
"You have loved Ernest Dalton, I know. Is there any one else?"
I dropped my lids instantly, and folded my hands tightly together, his words went through and through me. I hardly knew what to say next, but feeling that it was urgent upon me to speak in some way, I asked in a subdued tone, with my eyes still lowered upon my folded hands,
"How do you know I loved Ernest Dalton?"
He laughed, not gaily, nor carelessly, and taking a stride across the room, turned and said, "It is enough, that I know it, Amey. I don"t ask you to confide your past secrets to me--neither do I blame you for having been attached to Dalton, he is a good fellow, and though I am not half as worthy as he is, I presume to covet the same prize that he does--our luck is in your hands!"
"Ernest Dalton has never spoken to me, of love or marriage," I put in hastily.
"And Arthur Campbell has" said he, pausing in his rapid strides again, and standing close beside me--"that should make some difference?"
"So it does, and I give him the preference!" I said, rising from my seat, and extending my cold, nervous fingers towards him. "It is true that I have dwelt upon Ernest Dalton"s memory with a glowing, girlish enthusiasm. I have thought of him by day and by night. I have fancied my love returned, and imagined how happy we could be together. I have watched him with jealous eyes as he came and went, in and out of our circles at home. I have wished him near me, when I was desolate and miserable, and could endure no one else--but now, I would not have things different from what they are: all that can be a finished, sealed irrevocable past to you and me. I will marry you, if you are satisfied with my disposition; I will devote my whole life to your happiness, Arthur, and if I can help it you shall never have cause to reproach me, or regret the step you have taken. If you love me, you will not find it hard to trust me enough, even for this!"
"Amey, that is all I want to hear--you have spoken openly and honourably, you have done me the fullest justice I could ask. I believe your simple, earnest promises, I could not do otherwise, it would kill me to doubt you now. I shall go back to my toil with a lighter heart than I have had for many a day."
He left for home on the following morning, and as he rolled out of the depot of our little town I sat alone by the fireside, where, yesterday, I had pledged myself to him, twisting and turning a sparkling diamond upon my finger. It was a handsome seal of our plighted loves; inside, on the smooth round gold, the words "Arthur and Amey" with the date of the month and year were neatly inscribed.
CHAPTER XV.
Alice Merivale came home for Christmas, that is, in the early part of December. She had been announced for weeks before, and her immediate circle were considerably agitated over the welcome tidings, and in quite a flutter of conjecture and expectation concerning the result of her extended trip.