"Not very much _now_. I suppose he never was good for much," said the indignant Nettie; "but he was said to be very clever when he first came out to the colony. I can"t tell why Susan married him. She is very self-willed, though you would fancy her so submissive. She is one of those people, you know, who fall ill when they are crossed, and threaten to die, so that one daren"t cross her. Now, then, what is to be done with them? He will not go back to the colony, and I don"t care to do it myself. Must I keep them here?"
"Miss Underwood----" began the perplexed doctor.
"It would save trouble to call me Nettie--everybody does," said his strange companion; "besides, you are my brother in a kind of a way, and the only person I can consult with; for, of course, it would not do to tell one"s difficulties to strangers. Fred may not be very much to depend upon, you know, but still he is Fred."
"Yes," said the doctor, with a little self-reproach, "still he is Fred; but pardon me, the name suggests long aggravations. You can"t tell how often I have had to put up with affronts and injuries because it was Fred. I shouldn"t like to grieve you----"
"Never mind about grieving me;--_I_ am not in love with him;--let me hear all about it!" said Nettie.
Dr Rider paused a little; seeing the abyss upon the brink of which this brave little girl was standing, he had not the heart to aggravate her by telling the failures of the past. Better to soften the inevitable discovery if possible. But his hesitation was quite apparent to Nettie.
With considerable impatience she turned round upon him.
"If you think I don"t know what I am doing, but have gone into this business like a fool, you are quite mistaken, Dr Edward," she said, a little sharply. "I see how it is as well as anybody can do. I knew how it was when I left the colony. Don"t be alarmed about me. Do you think I am to be turned against my own flesh and blood by finding out their follies; or to grumble at the place G.o.d put me in?--Nothing of the sort!
I know the kind of situation perfectly--but one _may_ make the best of it, you know: and for that reason tell me everything, please."
"But, Miss Underwood, consider," cried the doctor, in consternation.
"You are taking responsibilities upon yourself which n.o.body could lay upon you; you! young--tender" (the doctor paused for a word, afraid to be too complimentary)--"delicate! Why, the whole burden of this family will come upon you. There is not one able to help himself in the whole bundle! I am shocked!--I am alarmed!--I don"t know what to say to you----"
"Don"t say anything, please," said Nettie. "I know what I am about. Do you call this a street or a lane, or what do you call it? Oh, such nice houses! shouldn"t I like to be able to afford to have one of them, and nurses, and governesses, and everything proper for the children! I should like to dress them so nicely, and give them such a good education. I don"t know anything particular to speak of, myself--I shall never be able to teach them when they grow older. If Fred, now, was only to be trusted, and would go and work like a man and make something for the children, I daresay I could keep up the house;--but if he won"t do anything, you know, it will take us every farthing just to live. Look here, Dr Edward: I have two hundred a-year;--Susan had the same, you know, but Fred got all the money when they were married, and muddled it away. Now, how much can one do in Carlingford with three children upon two hundred a-year?"
"Fred will be the meanest blackguard in existence," cried the doctor, "if he takes his living from you."
"He took his living from _you_, it appears," said Nettie, coolly, "and did not thank you much. We must make the best of him. We can"t help ourselves. Now, there is the pretty church, and there is our little house. Come in with me and answer for me, Dr Edward. You can say I am your sister-in-law, you know, and then, perhaps, we can get into possession at once; for," said Nettie, suddenly turning round upon the doctor with her brilliant eyes shining out quaintly under the little brow all puckered into curves of foresight, "it is so sadly expensive living where we are now."
To look at the creature thus flashing those shining eyes, not without a smile lurking in their depths, upon him--to see the triumphant, undaunted, undoubting youthfulness which never dreamt of failure--to note that pretty anxiety, the look which might have become a bride in her first troubles "playing at housekeeping," and think how desperate was the position she had a.s.sumed, how dreary the burden she had taken upon her--was almost too much for the doctor"s self-control. He did not know whether to admire the little heroine as half-divine, or to turn from her as half-crazy. Probably, had the strange little spirit possessed a different frame, the latter was the sentiment which would have influenced the unimaginative mind of Edward Rider. But there was no resisting that little brown t.i.tania, with her little head overladen with its beautiful hair, her red, delicate mouth closing firm and sweet above that little decided chin, her eyes which seemed to concentrate the light. She seemed only a featherweight when the bewildered doctor helped her to alight--an undoubted sprite and creature of romance. But to hear her arranging about all the domestic necessities within, and disclosing her future plans for the children, and all the order of that life of which she took the charge so unhesitatingly, bewildered the mistress of the house as much as it did the wondering doctor. The two together stood gazing at her as she moved about the room, pouring forth floods of eager talk. Her words were almost as rapid as her step,--her foot, light as it was, almost as decided and firm as her resolutions. She was a wonder to behold as she pushed about the furniture, and considered how it could be brightened up and made more comfortable. Gazing at her with his silent lips apart, Dr Rider sighed at the word. Comfortable! Was she to give her mind to making Fred and his children comfortable--such a creature as this?
Involuntarily it occurred to Edward that, under such ministrations, sundry changes might come over the aspect of that prim apartment in which he had seen her first; the room with the bookcase and the red curtains, and the prints over the mantelpiece--a very tidy, comfortable room before any bewitching imp came to haunt it, and whisper suspicions of its imperfection--the doctor"s own retirement, where he had chewed the cud of sweet and bitter fancies often enough, without much thought of his surroundings. But Nettie now had taken possession of the prosaic place, and, all unconscious of that spiritual occupation, was as busy and as excited about Mrs Smith"s lodgings at St Roque"s Cottage as if it were an ideal home she was preparing, and the life to be lived in it was the brightest and most hopeful in the world.
When Dr Rider reached home that night, and took his lonely meal in his lonely room, certain bitter thoughts of unequal fortune occupied the young man"s mind. Let a fellow be but useless, thankless, and heartless enough, and people spring up on all sides to do his work for him, said the doctor to himself, with a bitterness as natural as it was untrue.
The more worthless a fellow is, the more all the women connected with him cling to him and make excuses for him, said Edward Rider in his indignant heart. Mother and sister in the past--wife and Nettie now--to think how Fred had secured for himself such perpetual ministrations, by neglecting all the duties of life! No wonder an indignant pang transfixed the lonely bosom of the virtuous doctor, solitary and unconsoled as he was. _His_ laborious days knew no such solace. And as he fretted and pondered, no visions of Bessie Christian perplexed his thoughts. He had forgotten that young woman. All his mind was fully occupied chafing at the sacrifice of Nettie. He was not sorry, he was angry, to think of her odd position, and the duties she had taken upon herself. What had she to do with those wretched children, and that faded spiteful mother? Edward Rider was supremely disgusted. He said to himself, with the highest moral indignation, that such a girl ought not to be permitted to tie herself to such a fate.
CHAPTER V.
St Roque"s Cottage was considered rather a triumph of local architecture.
A Carlingford artist had built it "after" the Church, which was one of Gilbert Scott"s churches, and perfect in its way, so that its Gothic qualities were unquestionable. The only thing wanting was size, which was certainly an unfortunate defect, and made this adaptation of ecclesiastical architecture to domestic purposes a very doubtful experiment. However, in bright sunshine, when the abundance of light neutralised the want of window, all was well, and there was still abundance of sunshine in Carlingford in October, three months after the entrance of Fred Rider and his family into Mrs Smith"s little rooms. It was a bright autumn day, still mild, though with a crispness in the air, the late season showing more in the dest.i.tution of the flower-borders than in any more sensible sign. It was a pretty spot enough for a roadside. St Roque"s stood on the edge of a little common, over which, at the other margin, you could see some white cottages, natural to the soil, in a little hamlet-cl.u.s.ter, dropped along the edge of the grey-green unequal gra.s.s; while between the church and the cottage ran the merest shadow of a brook, just enough to give place and nutriment to three willow-trees which had been the feature of the scene before St Roque"s was, and which now greatly helped the composition of the little landscape, and harmonised the new building with the old soil. St Roque"s Cottage, by special intervention of Mr Wentworth, the perpetual curate, had dropped no intervening wall between its garden and those trees; but, not without many fears, had contented itself with a wooden paling on the side nearest the willows. Consequently, the slope of gra.s.s at that side, which Mrs Smith was too prudent to plant with anything that could be abstracted, was a pretty slope with the irregular willow shadows swept over it, thin, but still presenting a pale obstruction to the flood of sunshine on this special afternoon. There a little group was collected, in full enjoyment of the warmth and the light. Mrs Rider, still faded, but no longer travel-worn, sat farther up in the garden, on the green bench, which had been softened with cushions for her use, leisurely working at some piece of needlework, in lonely possession of the chrysanthemums and Michaelmas daisies round her; while on the gra.s.s, dropped over with yellow flecks of willow-leaves, lightly loosened by every pa.s.sing touch of wind, sat Nettie, all brown and bright, working with the most rapid fingers at a child"s frock, and "minding" with a corner of her eye the possessor of the same, the tiny Freddy, an imp of mischief uncontrollable by other hand or look than hers. A little lower down, poking into the invisible brook through the paling, was the eldest boy, silent from sheer delight in the unexpected pleasure of coating himself with mud without remark from Nettie. This unprecedented escape arose from the fact that Nettie had a visitor, a lady who had bent down beside her in a half-kneeling att.i.tude, and was contemplating her with a mingled amaze and pity which intensified the prevailing expression of kindness in the mildest face in the world. It was Miss Wodehouse, in her soft dove-coloured dress and large soft checked shawl. Her mild eyes were fixed upon that brilliant brown creature, all buoyant and sparkling with youth. These wonderful young people perplexed Miss Wodehouse; here was another incomprehensible specimen--most incomprehensible perhaps of all that had ever crossed her mild elderly horizon with bewildering unintelligible light.
"My dear," said Miss Wodehouse, "things used to be very different when I was young. When we were girls we thought about our own pleasures--and--and vanities of all kinds," said the good woman, with a little sigh; "and, indeed, I can"t think it is natural still to see you devoting yourself like this to your sister"s family. It is wonderful; but dear, dear me! it isn"t natural, Nettie, such self-devotion."
"I do wish you wouldn"t speak!" said Nettie, with a sudden start--"self-devotion! stuff! I am only doing what must be done. Freddy can"t go on wearing one frock for ever, can he--does it stand to reason?
Would you have me sit idle and see the child"s petticoats drop to pieces?
I am a colonial girl--I don"t know what people do in England. Where I was brought up we were used to be busy about whatever lay nearest to our hand."
"It isn"t Freddy"s frock," said Miss Wodehouse, with a little solemnity.
"You know very well what I mean. And suppose you were to marry--what would happen supposing you were to marry, Nettie?"
"It is quite time enough to think of that when there is any likelihood of it happening," said Nettie, with a little toss of her head. "It is only idle people who have time to think of falling in love and such nonsense. When one is very busy it never comes into one"s head. Why, you have never married, Miss Wodehouse; and when I know that I have everything I possibly could desire, why should I?"
Miss Wodehouse bent her troubled sweet old face over the handle of her parasol, and did not say anything for a few minutes. "It is all very well as long as you are young," she said, with a wistful look; "and somehow you young creatures are so much handier than we used to be. Our little Lucy, you know, that I can remember quite a baby--I am twice as old as she is," cried Miss Wodehouse, "and she is twice as much use in the world as I. Well, it is all very strange. But, dear, you know, _this_ isn"t natural all the same."
"It is dreadful to say so--it is dreadful to think so!" cried Nettie.
"I know what you mean--not Freddy"s frock, to be sure, but only one"s whole life and heart. Should one desert the only people belonging to one in the world because one happens to have a little income and they have none? If one"s friends are not very sensible, is that a reason why one should go and leave them? Is it right to make one"s escape directly whenever one feels one is wanted? or what do you mean, Miss Wodehouse?"
said the vehement girl. "That is what it comes to, you know. Do you imagine I had any choice about coming over to England when Susan was breaking her heart about her husband? could one let one"s sister die, do you suppose? And now that they are all together, what choice have I?
They can"t do much for each other--there is actually n.o.body but me to take care of them all. You may say it is not natural, or it is not right, or anything you please, but what else can one do? That is the practical question," said Nettie, triumphantly. "If you will answer that, then I shall know what to say to you."
Miss Wodehouse gazed at her with a certain mild exasperation, shook her head, wrung her hands, but could find nothing to answer.
"I thought so," said Nettie, with a little outburst of jubilee; "that is how it always happens to abstract people. Put the practical question before them, and they have not a word to say to you. Freddy, cut the gra.s.s with the scissors, don"t cut my tr.i.m.m.i.n.gs; they are for your own frock, you little savage. If I were to say it was my duty and all that sort of stuff, you would understand me, Miss Wodehouse; but one only says it is one"s duty when one has something disagreeable to do; and I am not doing anything disagreeable," added the little heroine, flashing those eyes which had confused Edward Rider--those brilliant, resolute, obstinate eyes, always with the smile of youth, incredulous of evil, lurking in them, upon her bewildered adviser. "I am living as I like to live."
There was a pause--at least there was a pause in the argument, but not in Nettie"s talk, which ran on in an eager stream, addressed to Freddy, Johnnie, things in general. Miss Wodehouse pondered over the handle of her parasol. She had absolutely nothing to say; but, thoroughly unconvinced and exasperated at Nettie"s logic, could not yet retire from the field.
"It is all very well to talk just now," said the gentle woman at last, retiring upon that potent feminine argument; "but, Nettie, think! If you were to marry----"
Miss Wodehouse paused, appalled by the image she herself had conjured up.
"Marrying is really a dreadful business, anyhow," she added, with a sigh; "so few people, you know, can, when they might. There is poor Mr Wentworth, who brought me here first; unless he gets preferment, poor fellow----. And there is Dr Rider. Things are very much changed from what they used to be in my young days."
"Is Dr Rider in the same dilemma? I suppose, of course, you mean Dr Edward," cried Nettie, with a little flash of mischievous curiosity.
"Why? He has n.o.body but himself. I should like to know why he can"t marry--that is, if anybody would have him--when he pleases. Tell me; you know he is my brother-in-law."
Miss Wodehouse had been thinking of Bessie Christian. She paused, partly for Dr Rider"s sake, partly because it was quite contrary to decorum, to suppose that Bessie, now Mrs Brown, might possibly a year ago have married somebody else. She faltered a little in her answer. "A professional man never marries till he has a position," said Miss Wodehouse, abstractedly. Nettie lifted upon her, eyes that danced with mischief and glee.
"A profession is as bad as a family, then," said the little Australian.
"I shall remember that next time you speak to me on this subject. I am glad to think Dr Edward, with all his prudence, is disabled too."
When Nettie had made this unguarded speech, she blushed; and suddenly, in a threatening and defiant manner, raised her eyes again to Miss Wodehouse"s face. Why? Miss Wodehouse did not understand the look, nor put any significance into the words. She rose up from the gra.s.s, and said it was time for her to go. She went away, pondering in her own mind those singular new experiences of hers. She had never been called upon to do anything particular all her gentle life. Another fashion of woman might have found a call to action in the management of her father"s house, or the education of her motherless young sister. But Miss Wodehouse had contented herself with loving Lucy--had suffered her to grow up very much as she would, without interference--had never taken a decided part in her life. When anything had to be done, to tell the truth, she was very inexpert--unready--deeply embarra.s.sed with the unusual necessity. Nettie"s case, so wonderfully different from anything she could have conceived, lay on her mind and oppressed her as she went home to Grange Lane.
As for Nettie herself, she took her work and her children indoors after a while, and tried on the new frock, and scolded and rehabilitated the muddy hero of the brook. Then, with those light fairy motions of hers, she spread the homely table for tea, called in Susan, sought Fred in his room up-stairs with a stinging word which penetrated even his callous mind, and made him for the moment ashamed of himself. Nettie bit her red lip till it grew white and bloodless as she turned from Fred"s door. It was not hard to work for the children--to support and domineer over Susan; but it was hard for such an alert uncompromising little soul to tolerate that useless hulk--that heavy enc.u.mbrance of a man, for whom hope and life were dead. She bit her lip as she discharged her sharp stinging arrow at him through the half-opened door, and then went down singing, to take her place at the table which her own hands had spread--which her own purse supplied with bread. n.o.body there showed the least consciousness of that latter fact; n.o.body fancied it was anything but natural to rely upon Nettie. The strange household demeaned itself exactly as if things were going on in the most regular and ordinary course. No wonder that spectators outside looked on with a wonder that could scarcely find expression, and half exasperated, half admiring, watched the astonishing life of the colonial girl.
n.o.body watched it with half the amount of exasperation which concentrated in the bosom of Dr Rider. He gazed and noted and observed everything with a secret rage, indignation, and incredulity impossible to describe.
He could not believe it even when it went on before his very eyes.
Doctor though he was, and scientific, to a certain extent, Edward Rider would have believed in witchcraft--in some philtre or potion acting upon her mind, rather than in Nettie"s voluntary folly. Was it folly? was it heroism? was it simple necessity, as she herself called it? n.o.body could answer that question. The matter was as incomprehensible to Miss Wodehouse as to Dr Rider, but not of such engrossing interest. Bessie Christian, after all, grew tame in the Saxon composure of her beauty before this brown, sparkling, self-willed, imperious creature. To see her among her self-imposed domestic duties filled the doctor with a smouldering wrath against all surrounding her, which any momentary spark might set aflame.
CHAPTER VI.
Affairs went on in Carlingford with the usual commonplace pertinacity of human affairs. Notable events happened but seldom in anybody"s life, and matters rolled back into their ordinary routine, or found a new routine for themselves after the ordinary course of humanity. After the extraordinary advent of Nettie and her strange household--after the setting-out of that wonderful little establishment, with all the amazed expectation it excited--it was strange to see how everything settled down, and how calmly the framework of common life took in that exceptional and half-miraculous picture. Lookers-on prophesied that it never could last--that in the very nature of things some sudden crisis or collapse must ensue, and the vain experiment prove a failure; but quiet nature and steady time prevailed over these moralists and their prophecies. The winter went on calmly day by day, and Nettie and her dependants became legitimate portions of Carlingford society. People ceased to wonder by degrees. Gradually the eyes of Carlingford grew accustomed to that dainty tiny figure sweeping along, by mere impulse of cheerful will and ceaseless activity, the three open-eyed staring children, the faded mother. Sometimes, indeed, Nettie, too clear of the necessity of her own exertions, and too simply bent upon her business, to feel any sentimental shame of her relations, was seen quickening the sluggish steps of Fred himself, who shuffled along by her side in a certain flush of self-disgust, never perceptible upon him under any other circ.u.mstances. Even Fred was duly moved by her vicinity. When he saw other people look at them, his bemused intellect was still alive enough to comprehend that people were aware of his dismal dependence upon that fairy creature, whom it was a shame to think of as the support not only of his deserted children, but of his own base comforts and idleness. But the spur, though it p.r.i.c.ked, did not goad him into any action. When he got home, he took refuge in his room up-stairs, in the hazy atmosphere drugged with the heavy fumes of his pipe, and stretched his slovenly limbs on his sofa, and buried his confused faculties in his old novel.
So he lived day by day, circ.u.mscribed in the most dangerous of his indulgences by Nettie"s unhesitating strictures and rules, which n.o.body dared break, but unlimited in his indolence, his novel, and his pipe.
That stifling fire, that close room, the ashes of the pipe on the table, the listless shabby figure on the sofa, were the most dismal part of the interior at St Roque"s Cottage, so far as it appeared to the external eye. But it is doubtful whether Mrs Fred, spiteful and useless, with her poor health, her selfish love, her utter unreason, dawdling over trifling matters which she never completed; or the three children, entirely unrespectful of father and mother, growing up amid that wonderful subversion of the ordinary rules of nature, with some loyalty to Nettie, but no reverence in them, were not as appalling companions to live with.
Nettie, however, did not consider the matter as a spectator might. She did not enter into it at all as a matter to be criticised; they simply belonged to her as they were. She knew their faults without loving them less, or feeling it possible that faults could make any difference to those bonds of nature. Fred, indeed, did afflict her lively impatient spirit;--she had tried to quicken him into life at first--she gave him up with a certain frank scorn now, and accepted her position. Thus he was to be all his life long this big c.u.mberer of the ground. Nettie, valorous and simple, made up her mind to it. He was Fred--that was all that could be said on the subject; and, being Fred, belonged to her, and had to be cared for like the rest.
It all grew into a matter of routine as that winter glided along; outside and in, everybody came to take it for granted. Miss Wodehouse, who, with a yearning admiration of a creature so totally unlike herself, came often to visit Nettie, ceased to expostulate, almost ceased to wonder. Mr Wentworth no longer opened his fine eyes in amazement when that household was named. Mrs Smith, their landlady, calmly brought her bills to Nettie, and forgot that it was not the most natural thing in the world that she should be paid by Miss Underwood. The only persistent sceptic was the doctor. Edward Rider could not, would not, believe it.
He who had so chafed under Fred"s society, felt it beyond the bounds of human possibility that Nettie could endure him. He watched with an eagerness which he found it difficult to account for, to see the first symptoms of disgust which must ere long mark the failure of this bold but foolish venture. It occupied his mind a great deal more than was good for his own comfort; perhaps more than was best for his patients.
Though he had few people to visit in that quarter of the town, his drag was seen to pa.s.s St Roque"s Cottage most days in the week; and when urgent messages came for Dr Rider in the evening, his little groom always wended his way out through the special district of Dr Marjoribanks to find his master, if the doctor was not at home. Not that all this devotion a.s.sisted him much either in increase of friendship with his relations, or in verification of his auguries. The disgust of the young doctor, when he saw his brother"s slovenly figure in his own chair, was nothing to his disgust now, when he saw that same form, so out of accordance with the neat little sitting-room which Nettie"s presence made dainty and refined in its homeliness, lounging in Nettie"s way. He could not bring himself to speak with ordinary patience to Fred; and Fred, obtuse as he was, perceived his brother"s disgust and contempt, and resented it sullenly; and betrayed his resentment to the foolish wife, who sulked and said spiteful things to Edward. It was not a pleasant family group. As for Nettie, she was much too fully occupied to give her society or conversation to Dr Rider. She came and went while he was there, busy about a thousand things, always alert, decided, uncompromising--not disinclined to snub either Fred or Susan when opportunity offered, totally unconscious even of that delicacy with which a high fantastical heroine of romance would have found it necessary to treat her dependants. It was this unconsciousness, above all, that irritated the doctor. If she had shown any feeling, he said to himself--if she had even been grandly aware of sacrificing herself and doing her duty--there would have been some consolation in it. But Nettie obstinately refused to be said to do her duty. She was doing her own will with an imperious distinctness and energy--having her own way--displaying no special virtue, but a determined wilfulness. Dr Rider was half disgusted with Nettie, to see how little disgust she showed of her companions. He was disappointed in her: he concluded to himself that she did not show that fine perception which he was disposed to expect from so dainty a little sprite. Yet, notwithstanding all these disappointed expectations, it is astonishing how he haunted that room where the society was so unattractive, and bore Mrs Fred"s spiteful speeches, and suffered his eyes and his temper to be vexed beyond endurance by the dismal sight of his brother. The children, too, worried their unfortunate uncle beyond description. He did not dislike children: as a general rule, mothers in the other end of Carlingford, indeed, declared the doctor to be wonderfully tender and indulgent to his little patients: but those creatures, with their round staring eyes, the calm remarks they made upon their father"s slovenly indolence and their mother"s imbecility--their precocious sharp-sightedness and insubordination, moved Dr Rider with a sharp prevailing inclination, intensifying by times almost into action, to whip them all round, and banish the intolerable brats out of sight. Such was his unpaternal way of contemplating the rising hopes of his house. How Nettie could bear it all, was an unceasing marvel to the doctor. Yet, in spite of these disagreeables, he went to St Roque"s all the same.