The Dodge Club

Chapter 12

[Ill.u.s.tration: Darn it!--Don"t.]

"Follow!"

This was all that he condescended to say, after lighting his torches and distributing them to his visitors. He stalked off, and stooping down, darted into the low pa.s.sage-way. The cicerone followed, then b.u.t.tons, then d.i.c.k, then the Senator, then the Doctor, then Mr. Figgs.

The air was intensely hot, and the pa.s.sage-way grew lower. Moreover, the smoke from the torches filled the air, blinding and choking them.

Mr. Figgs faltered. Fat, and not by any means nimble, he came to a pause about twenty feet from the entrance, and, making a sudden turn, darted out. The Doctor was tall and unaccustomed to bend his perpendicular form. Half choked and panting heavily he too gave up, and turning about rushed out after Mr. Figgs.

The other three went on bravely. b.u.t.tons and d.i.c.k, because they had long since made up their minds to see every thing that presented itself, and the Senator, because when he started on an enterprise he was incapable of turning back.

After a time the pa.s.sage went sloping steeply down. At the bottom of the declivity was a pond of water bubbling and steaming. Down this they ran. Now the stone was extremely slippery, and the subterranean chamber was but faintly illuminated by the torches. And so it came to pa.s.s that, as the Senator ran down after the others, they had barely reached the bottom when

_Thump_!

At once all turned round with a start.

Not too quickly; for there lay the Senator, on his back, sliding, in an oblique direction, straight toward the pool. His booted feet were already in the seething waves; his nails were dug into the slippery soil; he was shouting for help.

To grasp his hand, his collar, his leg--to jerk him away and place him upright, was the work of a shorter time than is taken to tell it.

The guide now wanted them to wait till he boiled an egg. The Senator remonstrated, stating that he had already nearly boiled a leg. The Senator"s opposition overpowered the wishes of the others, and the party proceeded to return. Pale, grimy with soot, panting, covered with huge drops of perspiration, they burst into the chamber where the others were waiting--first b.u.t.tons, then d.i.c.k, then the Senator covered with mud and slime.

The latter gentleman did not answer much to the eager inquiries of his friends, but maintained a solemn silence. The two former loudly and volubly descanted on the acc.u.mulated horrors of the subterranean way, the narrow pa.s.sage, the sulphurous air, the lake of boiling floods.

In this outer chamber their attention was directed to a number of ancient relics. These are offered for sale in such abundance that they may be considered stable articles of commerce in this country.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Thump!]

So skillful are the manufacturers that they can produce unlimited supplies of the following articles, and many others too numerous to mention:

c.u.maean and Oscan coins; Ditto and ditto statuettes; Ditto and ditto rings; Ditto and ditto bracelets; Ditto and ditto images; Ditto and ditto toilet articles; Ditto and ditto vases; Ditto and ditto flasks; Relics of Parthenope; Ditto of Baiae; Ditto of Misenum; Ditto of Paestum; Ditto of Herculaneum; Ditto of Pompeii; Ditto of Capraea; Ditto of Capua; Ditto of c.u.mae--

And other places too numerous to mention; all supplied to order; all of which are eaten by rust, and warranted to be covered by the canker and the mould of antiquity.

The good guide earnestly pressed some interesting relics upon their attention, but without marked success. And now, as the hour of dinner approached, they made the best of their way to a neighboring inn, which commanded a fine view of the bay. Emerging from the chamber the guide followed them, offering his wares.

"Tell me," he cried, in a sonorous voice, "oh most n.o.ble Americans!

how much will you give for this most ancient vase?"

"Un" mezzo carlino," said d.i.c.k,

"Un" mezzo carlino!!!"

The man"s hand, which had been uplifted to display the vase, fell downward as he said this. His tall figure grew less and less distinct as they went further away; but long after he was out of sight the phantom of his reproachful face haunted their minds.

After dinner they went out on the piazza in front of the hotel. Two Spanish ladies were there, whose dark eyes produced an instantaneous effect upon the impressible heart of b.u.t.tons.

They sat side by side, leaning against the stone bal.u.s.trade. They were smoking cigarettes, and the effect produced by waving their pretty hands as they took the cigarettes from their mouths was, to say the least, bewildering.

b.u.t.tons awaited his opportunity, and did not have to wait long.

Whether it was that they were willing to give the young American a chance, or whether it was really unavoidable, can not be said, but certainly one of the fair Spaniards found that her cigarette had gone out. A pretty look of despair, and an equally pretty gesture of vexation, showed at once the state of things. Upon which b.u.t.tons stepped up, and with a bow that would have done honor to Chesterfield, produced a box of scented allumettes, and lighting one, gravely held it forward. The fair Spaniard smiled bewitchingly, and bending forward without hesitation to light her cigarette, brought her rosy lips into bewildering proximity to b.u.t.tons"s hand.

It was a trying moment.

The amiable expression of the ladies" faces, combined with the softly-spoken thanks of the lady whom b.u.t.tons first addressed, encouraged him. The consequence was, that in about five minutes more he was occupying a seat opposite them, chatting as familiarly as though he were an old playmate. d.i.c.k looked on with admiration; the others with envy.

"How in the world does it happen," asked the Senator, "that b.u.t.tons knows the lingo of every body he meets?"

[Ill.u.s.tration: A Trying Moment.]

"He can"t help it," said d.i.c.k. "These Continental languages are all alike; know one, and you"ve got the key to the others--that is with French, Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese."

"And look at him now!" cried the Senator, his eye beaming with cordial admiration.

"You may well look at him!" sighed d.i.c.k. "Two such pretty girls as these won"t turn up again in a hurry. Spaniards too; I always admired them." And he walked down to the sh.o.r.e humming to himself something about "the girls of Cadiz."

The ladies informed b.u.t.tons that they were travelling with their brother, and had been through Russia, Germany, England, France, and were now traversing Italy; did not like the three first-mentioned countries, but were charmed with Italy.

Their _navete_ was delightful. b.u.t.tons found out that the name of one was Lucia, and the other Ida. For the life of him he did not know which he admired most; but, on the whole, rather inclined to the one to whom he had offered the light--Ida.

He was equally frank, and let them know his name, his country, his Creed. They were shocked at his creed, pleased with his country and amused at his name, which they p.r.o.nounced, "Senor Bo-to-nes."

After about an hour their brother came. He was a small man, very active, and full of vivacity. Instead of looking fiercely at the stranger, he shook hands with him very cordially. Before doing this, however, he took one short, quick survey of his entire person, from felt hat down to his Congress boots. The consequence was that b.u.t.tons deserted his companions, and went off with the ladies.

d.i.c.k took the lead of the party on the return home. They viewed the conduct of b.u.t.tons with displeasure. The Senator did not show his usual serenity. The party were all riding on donkeys. To do this on the minute animals which the Neapolitans furnish it is necessary to seat one"s self on the stern of the animal, and draw the legs well up, so that they may not trail on the ground. The appearance of the rider from behind is that of a Satyr dressed in the fashion of the nineteenth century. Nothing can be more ridiculous than the sight of a figure dressed in a frock-coat and beaver hat, and terminated by the legs and tail of a donkey.

As it was getting late the party harried. The donkeys were put on the full gallop. First rode the guide, then the others, last of whom was the Senator, whose great weight was a sore trial to the little donkey.

They neared Pozzuoli, when suddenly the Senator gave his little beast a smart whack to hasten his steps. The donkey lost all patience. With a jump he leaped forward. Away he went, far ahead of the others. The saddle whose girth was rather old, slipped off. The Senator held on tightly. In vain! Just as he rounded a corner formed by a projecting sandbank the donkey slipped. Down went the rider; down went the donkey also--rider and beast floundering in the dusty road.

A merry peal of ill-suppressed laughter came from the road-side as he rolled into view. It came from a carriage. In the carriage were the Spaniards--there, too, was b.u.t.tons.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Senator And Donkey.]

CHAPTER IX.

A DRIVE INTO THE COUNTRY.--A FIGHT WITH A VETTURINO.--THE EFFECT OF EATING "HARD BOILED EGGS."--WHAT THEY SAW AT PAESTUM.--FIVE TEMPLES AND ONE "MILL."

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