CHAPTER 41
I thought of my ‘stupid grandfather’ for a short moment, but didn’t think that I missed him. What I didn’t think of, was how things were without me there, back in the Rolland Estate. My first and only idea on how the Rolland Estate is without me, would be that they were probably happier…
What I did sense, was that I was slowly, already, becoming closer to my ‘bad’ side.
In my previous life, I had taken thirty years to accomplish it…
It’s only been fourteen years and I already feel it overcoming me, or flowing through me. When I think back to how I felt and to the differences between both of my ‘good’ side and ‘bad’ side, it does make one wonder why it happens.
To be in a place like this, and wonder why it happens! It has to be because of this kind of era! This kind of era is doom!
I have given it some thought…Other than blaming the era…On why I can change, and the best thing I can come up with, is that through the times I’m ‘good’, I endure and probably bottle up all the feelings that I have. When things become too much for me and I’m in a position that needs me to become a stronger person, who can go without feelings, my ‘bad’ side comes out.
I wasn’t crazy, nor did I have two personalities, both of these sides were definitely a part of me…Well, that was my point of view anyway…
I guess it’s just strange that, for a certain time, while I’m ‘bad’, a few views of mine change. One is, that human life can mean nothing to me, especially if someone has done something wrong to me or someone that I cherish.
Another is, I don’t hesitate at all to do what I want. Like when I had first shot someone in my past life, I didn’t stop in shock, nor did I feel bad about it. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t know what I did or haven’t thought about it.
Yet, till this day, I have no regrets and would do everything all over again, knowing full well that I had snuffed out people’s lives.
I know that their families and friends probably miss them, and that people will get mad or angry over my killing them, but as far as I’m concerned…They were there!
If they didn’t want to die, they shouldn’t have kidnapped my daughter, hurt her, then kill her in front of me!
…Upon thinking this, I suddenly had an idea on why the police, ambulance car might have been in a crash.
Perhaps, someone had come after me, because of what I did…Guess I’ll never find out though…
Over the last few years, I have come to wonder if my instincts also help other people’s lives. And with my ending and how I had failed to save my daughter…And myself…I believed, to a certain degree, that is just one instance where I may have saved someone else in the future from being taken by the bad guys. Because, how could someone die to their hands now that they were all died?
Although, I wasn’t sure with that, but I still hoped for it to be true. I don’t want other people to go through the same thing as I did, losing a child like that is horrible!
I know losing a child, in general, isn’t good at all. But I guess I was a little biased. My daughter saw something sinister with her innocent eyes, was taken to a place she didn’t know, didn’t eat, was beaten black and blue, and didn’t shower. I had spent months to find her and when I had seen her like this, I was mortified…But then, on top of all this, she was suddenly sliced at the neck, right in front of my very own eyes!
I had seen her lifeless body fall to the floor…After only seeing her for a short moment, and hearing her voice saying ‘mum’, she had gone…
How could I not be biased!?
But, since I had failed…To protect her…Then why did my instincts work so hard to keep me alive till the bitter end?
…That’s why I think that sometimes it’s not just for me, but that it could be helping somebody else later.
It’s weird, but after I could move on from my memories, I came up with some other times when I had to do something, because of my instincts, and I got no benefit out of it, whereas somebody else did.
Perhaps, there’s something more to my instincts that I can’t seem to see…
Within another week, from staying close to that tree that I had found, I had disappeared.
I had found a place to go to mumble my sorrows and fix the poison in my body.
But…That tree had a twig, and that twig was bent, and then there was a few foot prints and some left-over fruit sc.r.a.ps…
That was all it took, for someone to continue further onto their quest, to find the missing, thirteenth young miss…
End of Volume One
Upcoming in volume two: An unknown person with red eyes is seen within the capital of Green Haven. Not only does this person silently leave messages of blood on a bare chest, but a small rumour starts to spread...That there"s a person that has come, that could be a divine doctor.