"Let him go," he ordered, turning away.
The other men stared at him. This act of mercy shook the foundations of the code they all fought by. It was a long stretch of time before one of them dared to come forwards with a knife to cut Ru Shan"s bonds.
"Never let me see your face again," Li Tao warned.
Ru Shan stayed kneeling. He bowed, touching his head once to the ground. "This is for the honourable man who once was. But you will destroy Lady Ling along with everything you have created."
Ru Shan rose then and walked away, weaving through the bamboo.
Li Tao waited for the lone figure to disappear into the green. It was a mistake to let him go. Ru Shan was a young man pining for the love of a complicated woman. He was also a fighter and a soldier, dangerous in his exuberance.
People like Lady Ling were incapable of love. They were both alike in that way. The imperial palace was as cutthroat as the winding streets of Luoyang. She would never allow anyone to possess her just as he answered to no master. There were no illusions between them. Perhaps that was the lure. Desire without emotion, cold and clean.
When she met his eyes, it was always with challenge. She understood the tooth-and-claw struggle for survival deep within her bones. Desire meant nothing in the face of that struggle, except for a few stolen moments.
They could forget for one night. Perhaps her pa.s.sion was feigned, another ploy. He didn"t care. That night he"d take his fill of her. Suyin"s lure would fade when she no longer danced like smoke in his head, when she became flesh and blood and silken skin beneath him. Then he"d send her away as she so desperately wanted. Let her face Gao on her own. She was more than capable.
Suyin could take whatever secrets she held with her. He didn"t need them and didn"t need her for anything more than what she could give him that night.
Chapter Eight.
Suyin stepped into the garden, fighting to steady herself after the intensity of the confrontation with Li Tao. The soldiers remained hovering at the pa.s.sages, but the warlord was gone. She could tell from the silence of the house and the listless way the servants milled about the edges of the courtyard. There was always an inexplicable sense of emptiness when he wasn"t there.
"Go," she urged gently. "Continue with your duties as usual."
The servants responded to her as if she were the mistress of the house. One by one, they moved away. She knew they would gather in a distant corner to mull and gossip. Jun and Cook were the last to leave. The boy held a brown-feathered chicken by its feet as he trudged towards the kitchen. She managed a weak smile for him before he departed.
Auntie came to her. "Master Li has taken Ru Shan! In his anger, he might..." She swiped at her nose with a handkerchief, her eyes red and swollen.
"None of you will suffer for this. I swear it."
Auntie was intent on fretting. "But Tao-Master Li will not tolerate disloyalty."
"The Governor knows this is my doing," Suyin replied, sounding more confident than she felt. It was clear that she had no control over him, or herself, when they were alone.
Li Tao was foremost a warlord and warrior. A man of discipline. He wanted complete control of everything, even over what would pa.s.s between them that night. Especially over that.
She shouldn"t have pulled Auntie into her schemes. Not when she knew how ruthless Li Tao was. He had the entire household cowering under his fury. Then he had kissed her and tormented her until she was clinging to him. She folded her arms tight around herself. Every part of her felt swollen, awakened and raw with sensation.
One night was all he wanted from her in the end. She should be relieved. When the l.u.s.t and physical need were cold and done, he would have no reason to keep her. Madame had taught her that.
A strand of hair fell over her eyes and she pushed it back. No wonder they all stared at her so fearfully in her disarray. The sun was starting to sink in the sky. She didn"t have much time left before dark.
She let Auntie take her arm and lead her back up to her room as if she were a doll. The stairs seemed to stretch on endlessly. Her feet fell heavily on each step. The surge of emotion had left her drained.
They returned together to her quarters. Suyin sank into a chair in the sitting room and began working her hair loose from its knot. Auntie rushed to help her, pulling the pins to lower her hair with a gentle, careful hand. The tenderness of it made her throat tighten. Of all of them, she would miss Auntie the most once she was gone, but she couldn"t stay. She had to think of survival. That was her one true talent. Her ability to bend men to her will was only a myth.
"My lady must know Master Li would never hurt her," Auntie said, squeezing her hand.
"Auntie is too trusting."
"Tao will have to seek atonement in the next life, but he would never harm a defenceless woman."
Suyin stifled a bitter laugh. "Defenceless?"
Auntie was blind when it came to Li Tao, but the old woman was mistaken about her as well. She had caused enough harm in her life without ever holding a weapon in her hand. Hadn"t she sent Ru Shan to his death? Li Tao"s eyes had been flat, reflecting nothing as he"d held his sword over the soldier. It was a killing look.
But he hadn"t acted yet.
Auntie disappeared momentarily and returned from the dressing room with a comb. Suyin took it from her hands. "Please go check on Ru Shan. Don"t let Governor Li know that I asked."
Li Tao had accused her of turning his servants against him. She couldn"t bear the thought of what he would do to Auntie and the others if he suspected any more disloyalty.
The old woman nodded and hurried away. The hinges creaked as she closed the doors behind her. As soon as she was alone, Suyin doubled over in her chair, eyes closed, hand pressed against her midsection to steady her breath. A wave of fear, nervousness and excitement rushed through her all at once until her head swam.
This is what Emperor Li Ming had taught her to do in the palace. Everything shown in public had to be controlled. Once hidden away, she could feel everything.
She squeezed her eyes shut, but that only made the hard press of Li Tao"s mouth against hers come back to her tenfold. What had she agreed to?
This merging of anger and desire was more dangerous than any threat of violence. His discipline had broken in the parlour and she had been caught up in it, welcoming the danger and demanding more. But she had prevailed. He was going to release her. They"d both have what they wanted. She"d have her freedom, he"d have his precious control.
They had been dancing around each other for weeks. She needed the fear and the temptation to be done with. She wanted Li Tao despite his rebelliousness-wanted him because of it. She was supposed to belong to no one but the Emperor, but Li Tao didn"t care about imperial law. He brought out emotions she thought she"d never experience again. When she was close to him, Suyin longed for him to touch her. When he did touch her, desire overwhelmed her and she was lost. She"d fought against this feeling of powerlessness all her life.
And she loved it now.
Was Li Tao right about her? Had she lived with danger for so long, she craved it?
After tonight she would be free in more ways than one. Her dangerous fascination with Li Tao would end once she was no longer trapped in his house. Even Auntie and Cook"s kindness couldn"t make her forget that Li Tao was doomed. She would find a place to disappear along her river and forget. She had always been able to move on to another place and weave a coc.o.o.n of safety around herself. Gao might seek her out once Li Tao no longer protected her, but she"d avoided the old wolf on her own for years.
The comb was still clenched in her hand, the teeth biting into the palm. It slipped through her nerveless fingers as she lifted it to her hair.
All of this was supposed to be second nature. Yin and yang and the ways of sensual fulfilment. Yet she was shaking hard as she had the first night she"d been summoned to the Emperor"s chamber.
Li Tao wouldn"t be a gentle lover, but his hands had stroked her with exquisite knowledge. He knew how to pleasure a woman. She had no doubt of that. Her skin tingled from his caress, her body aroused and searching. He would expect the same knowledge of her.
The extent of her reputation was laughable. How could imperial concubines be expected to be G.o.ddesses in the bedchamber when they were trained to please only one man, the Emperor?
Auntie returned and wordlessly picked up the fallen comb. "Master Li took Ru Shan. No one knows where," she reported in a hush.
Suyin stared ahead, her mask of control slipping back in place. "No harm will come to him yet."
"Are you certain?"
"I"m certain."
Li Tao wouldn"t come to her that night with blood on his hands. Her willingness was important to him. She didn"t understand what rules of honour he lived by, but he treated her with a semblance of civility, even protectiveness. At least, until she provoked him.
"Lady Ling, you look pale."
"We need to fix that." Her thoughts were far away.
Auntie regarded her questioningly.
She would need a bath. Her hair needed to be pinned, her skin perfumed. She couldn"t appear as anything less than ravishing for Li Tao. She took wicked satisfaction in how her beauty confused him. This was a different allure from the one she projected to the court. With Li Tao, she was a woman for once, something more than a pretty illusion.
The door to the study opened into darkness. Suyin placed her hand against the wall to guide herself. The lamps inside had been extinguished. The lantern in the hallway provided the only light.
Li Tao was there. She could sense him. The darkness magnified his presence. He was nothing but a silhouette. Unknown and tempting.
His hands curved over her shoulders. Li Tao pressed her flat against the wall as their gazes locked. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling. She couldn"t find her next breath no matter how hard she tried. With his eyes on her the entire time, he reached out to push the door shut.
His mouth found hers and pried her lips roughly apart. Before her eyes could adjust to the darkness, he was kissing her with his hard body strained against her, hip to hip. He trapped her in a fierce embrace. Everything all at once. No time to form any thought.
Better like this. She moaned in surrender as his tongue invaded her mouth. Ribbons of heat curled through her limbs and she hooked her arms around his neck. Better like this, without a word. She couldn"t trust herself not to challenge and confound him the moment she spoke. This way, she could just feel.
She let herself be swept into the hunger between them. Her eyes closed as her head fell back and the darkness surrounded her. She pressed against Li Tao, feeling his tension through every muscle.
One of his hands dug into her hair as the other pulled at the sash at her waist. The hairpins fell away haphazardly. He cared nothing for her efforts over the last hours. He pulled at the layers of her dress and slipped them from her shoulders. A faint tearing sound broke through the silence. The cadence of his breathing filled her ears, the sound of it urgent, desperate.
She reached for his robe, but he was much faster, more efficient. In a few short motions, he tugged his clothing away and dropped the material beside the pool of her dress. Only the embroidered bodice remained tied over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Soon that was gone too. He was bare before her as well, sculpted and powerful. She had no time to look before his hands were on her, curving over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her hips. He was flying and she couldn"t catch him, didn"t know what to do with her hands or her body. His calloused palms sc.r.a.ped over her sensitised flesh and his mouth invaded hers again, stealing away her breath. She had never been so exposed, so vulnerable.
With insistent purpose, he lowered her to the floor until she lay on the discarded layers of her gown. He bent his head to take her breast. Heaven and earth. His mouth was searing hot on her skin and unrelenting. Her head fell back against the wooden planks as her arms stole around his waist to hold on.
Whenever she had imagined this, her dream lovers had always been gentle and caring. She was wrong; this was what it should be. His teeth sc.r.a.ped her nipple and she let out a startled cry. The shock of pleasure through her was unbearable. He did it again, biting against tender flesh already sensitive beyond thought. A flood of dampness gathered between her legs. She dug her nails into him, demanding more.
He had planned this. She had stayed in her room as the sun fell and darkness descended and when he didn"t come, when he didn"t send for her, she had gone to search for him. All the while Li Tao had been waiting, letting her desire build into a summer storm.
She had to stop herself from thinking like this. There was no plan, no meaning layered upon meaning here. She blinked, trying to focus on him. When he finally pulled away the rest of his clothing to lie skin to skin on top of her, no warmth had ever felt so complete.
He opened her legs and watched her face as he slid a finger purposefully along her folds. It was the first moment of quiet he had allowed her and it was only to tease her, letting the sensation build and build within her until she gasped out his name.
She reached for his face, tracing the stark ridges of his cheekbones. Her fingertips soothed against the edge of his scar and an odd tenderness seized her. He was beautiful with the awe of lightning storms and tigers.
Flinching, he s.n.a.t.c.hed her hand away from his face. Sentiment wasn"t what he wanted from her. He guided her hands between his thighs. His hips thrust the hard, naked length of him against her palm. He swelled even more against her touch, pulsing and rigid. He parted her legs on the wooden planks of the floor and her muscles tensed.
It was going to happen. She held her breath. He centred himself before sliding down and into her in one steady thrust, pushing to the hilt.
She tore inside. Her body wrenched tight around him and she bit down against her lip to stifle her scream. Li Tao went still above her, the fevered energy of his pa.s.sion stopped.
Madame had always said there would be a moment of pain, but once again she had lied. The unbearable sensation of being penetrated and stretched continued as her body struggled to adjust to the new invasion of a man"s body inside her. She closed her eyes, hoping to dull the sensation. When she finally opened them, Li Tao glared down at her.
"How?"
She shook her head. His hands clenched into fists on either side of her shoulders. Her arms were still around him. His hips shifted inadvertently and her breath caught. She could see the indecision in his eyes. Then he squeezed them shut and shook his head helplessly. Jaw clenched, he lifted slowly and then pushed back into her, trying to keep his movements slow, but it didn"t matter. She could feel every inch of him within her, stretching her, the sensation intensified.
Eventually her tight walls grew damp, yielding only slightly. He rocked himself into her, sliding in and out, unable to deny himself. Through the pain, she held on to him, fingers digging into sweat-dampened skin. A current of distant pleasure rose to combine with the pain as his thrusts deepened. His rhythm became erratic. He pulsed once, twice, then his entire body wound tight as his essence spilled into her.
He pounded his fist against the floorboards in frustration and she flinched at the impact. With a curse, he lifted his body away from her.
"How is this possible?" he demanded, his voice thick.
She gathered the discarded silk around her shoulders and sat up, hissing at the unexpected ache. Li Tao"s coupling had left her sore and filled with an acute loneliness. She had been naive to believe there would be a long night of seduction once the great lie had been revealed.
"Many concubines live their lives untouched in the inner court, forgotten." Her attempt to appear dispa.s.sionate failed when her voice broke.
Every muscle in him pulled tight. "Not you."
She leaned back against the wall for support as he faced her, his knees braced against the floor, his nakedness forgotten. Her response angered him further, but maybe she wanted it that way.
"You know the answer," she said.
"I don"t know anything."
If he thought hard enough, she was certain he would discover what the August Emperor had fought to hide for so many years. But Li Tao didn"t care about the secrets of the imperial court. His eyes burned through her.
"Why didn"t you tell me?"
Her lips parted in silence. There was no answer to that. Who would believe that Ling Guifei, the great seductress, had never been possessed by a man? Her eyes burned from sudden tears that she hoped the darkness would hide.
He swiped his robe from the floor in a violent motion, but then threw it aside. His chiselled body rippled with shadows as he stormed from the room, leaving her stranded amidst the tattered silk.
Li Tao threw the chamber door shut behind him. He shoved his hands through his hair, denying the satisfied flush of his body. The scent of jasmine clung to his skin. Visions of sensual eyes, pale skin and her perfect mouth swam before him. He grabbed a pair of trousers from the wardrobe and pulled them on impatiently.
Lies. Everything about Ling Suyin was a pretty, unfathomable lie. The score of her nails down his back and the exquisite tightness of her flesh around him had given way to the shocking breach of her maidenhead. The empire"s symbol of beauty and feminine sensuality was an untouched virgin.
He"d taken her quickly as a defence, the only defence left to him. There were stories about Ling Suyin being discovered in the pleasure dens of Luoyang. She had bewitched the Emperor with a single look. After a night with her, Emperor Li Ming had forsaken all others.
Hadn"t she lured him with every word and every sensual glance? Had her restraint been coyness or innocence? Up to the moment Li Tao sank himself into her, she had responded with an unrestrained pa.s.sion he had attributed to experience. He sank on to the edge of the bed and rubbed his hand over his temples.
He needed to take apart everything he knew about Lady Ling. She hadn"t seduced Ru Shan, not with her body. The thought gave him a moment of relief, followed by a surge of anger. She didn"t belong to him, but his thoughts would not release her. She had yielded to him. No other man but him.
When he"d left her, there had been genuine sadness in her eyes. At that moment, he no longer knew what was real. He would never know her. The moment he had her in his grasp, she slipped away as if to spite him.
Chapter Nine.