_Lord._ Mark me, madam,--nay, tears are in vain--to-morrow shall make you the wife of Willoughby; and he shall answer for your follies.--No reply, sir, [_To FLORIVILLE, who is going to speak._] I wou"dn"t hear the chancellor.
_Lady._ Now, who is to blame? Oh, virtue is ever sure to meet its reward!--Come to meet a mad poet, indeed!--My lord, I forgive you only on condition of your signing a contract to marry me to-morrow, and Louisa to Willoughby, at the same time.
_Lord._ I will, thou best of women!--draw it up immediately--and Neville shall starve for his treachery.
[_LADY WAITFOR"T goes to the Table, and writes._
_Louisa._ [_Falling at the feet of LORD SCRATCH._] Hear me, sir, not for myself, but for a wrong"d friend, I speak:--Mr Neville knows not of my concealment; on my honour, he is innocent:--if that lady"s wrongs must be avenged, confine the punishment to me--I"ll bear it, with patience bear it.
_Lord._ Let go!--let go, I say!--Lady Waitfor"t, make haste with the contract.
_Lady._ It only waits the signature.--Now, my lord.
_Flor._ Look ye, uncle--she"s the cause of all this mischief, and if you are not lost----
_Lord._ Out of my way!--O"d--noise and nonsense!--don"t fancy yourselves in the House of Commons! we"re not speaking twenty at a time. Here! give me the pen--I"ll sign directly; and now--
[_As he is going to sign, VAPID breaks the China in the Closet, and rushes out, with the Epilogue in his Hand._
_Vapid._ "Die all! die n.o.bly! die like demi-G.o.ds!"--Huzza, huzza! "tis done! "tis past! "tis perfect.
_Flor._ Huzza!--the poet at last; "Stop him who can!"
_Lady._ Confusion!--tell me, sir, immediately, what do you mean by this new insult?
_Vapid._ "Die all! die n.o.bly! die like demi-G.o.ds!"--oh, it"s glorious!--Ah, old Scratch, are you there?--Joy, joy! give me joy!--I"ve done your business! the work"s past!--the labour"s o"er, my boy!--"think of that, Master Brook--think of that!"
_Lady._ My lord, I am vilely treated.--I desire you"ll insist on an explanation.
_Flor._ He can"t speak, madam.
[_All this time, my LORD is slowly walking away._
_Lady._ How! are you going to leave me, my lord?
_Vapid._ [_Taking out his Common-place Book._] "Faith this musn"t be lost!--here"s something worth observing. [_Exit LORD SCRATCH._
_Lady._ Oh, I shall burst with rage!--Mr Vapid, I desire you"ll explain how you came in that closet.--Why don"t you answer me, sir?
_Vapid._ Your pardon, ma"am, I was taking a note of the affair--and yet I"m afraid----
_Lady._ What are you afraid of, sir?
_Vapid._ That it has been dramatized before;--it is certainly not a new case.
_Lady._ Insupportable!--But I take my leave of you all!--I abandon you for ever!--I!--oh, I shall go wild! [_Exit in a rage._
_Flor._ Ay, ay, follow his lordship--virtue is ever sure to meet its reward. Now, Mr Vapid, tell us how you came in that closet?
_Vapid._ "Faith, I can"t.--I believe the servant hurried me there on your approach.
_Flor._ Then you didn"t come to meet lady Waitfor"t?
_Vapid._ Meet lady Waitfor"t!--no, I came to read my epilogue to Neville; and a wonderful production it is--"The tyrant totters, and the senate nods." [_Walking about._
_Louisa._ To what a strange fatality of circ.u.mstances has her character been exposed!--but vice often finds its punishment for a crime it never committed, when it escapes for thousands it daily practises.
_Flor._ Well, Miss Courtney, I hope now your apprehensions are at an end?
_Louisa._ Yes, sir, I shall remain for the short time necessary to prepare for my journey, and beg I may detain you no longer. I"m afraid I have already been a great intruder.
_Flor._ No, you have been the occasion of more happiness than ever I experienced. But you won"t leave Bath, till you"ve seen my brother?
_Louisa._ Oh, I have been cruelly deceived, Mr Floriville! I have injured your brother so much, that, though I wish, I almost dread to see him.
_Flor._ Then I"ll go in search of him,--and if I don"t reconcile you----Come, Mr Vapid, will you walk?
_Vapid._ With all my heart.
_Flor._ [_Taking him by the hand._] By Heaven, you are an honest fellow.
_Vapid._ Madam, good night!--if I can be of any service to you in the dramatic, or any other way, you may command me.
_Flor._ Ay, I"ll answer for him,--he would die to serve you.
_Vapid._ Die to serve her! ay, "Die all!--die n.o.bly!--die like demi-G.o.ds!" [_Exeunt._
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
_LADY WAITFOR"T"S Apartment._
_LADY WAITFOR"T discovered at her Toilette. LETTY waiting._
_Lady._ Mr Vapid not come yet, Letty?
_Letty._ No, ma"am,--but the servant, who found him at the tavern, said he would be here immediately.
_Lady._ I protest, I am almost weary of them all.--[_Noise without._]
See who"s there. [_LETTY listens, and returns._
_Letty._ Mr Vapid at last:--now, pray your ladyship, insist on his explaining every thing to my lord.
_Lady._ Yes; but vilely as he has treated me, I must still be calm.