On his hands and knees, he raised his head like a groggy fighter... and some distance ahead, perhaps a mile, perhaps three (it was difficult to judge distances along the unchanging reach of the strand with the fever working inside him, making his eyeb.a.l.l.s pulse in and out), he saw something new. Something which stood upright on the beach.
What was it?
(three) Didn"t matter.
(three is the number of your fate) The gunslinger managed to get to his feet again. He croaked something, some plea which only the circling seabirds heard (and how happy they would be to gobble my eyes from my head, (and how happy they would be to gobble my eyes from my head, he thought, he thought, how happy to have such a tasty bit!), how happy to have such a tasty bit!), and walked on, weaving more seriously now, leaving tracks behind him that were weird loops and swoops. and walked on, weaving more seriously now, leaving tracks behind him that were weird loops and swoops.
He kept his eyes on whatever it was that stood on the strand ahead. When his hair fell in his eyes he brushed it aside. It seemed to grow no closer. The sun reached the roof of the sky, where it seemed to remain far too long. Roland imagined he was in the desert again, somewhere between the last outlander"s hut (the musical fruit the more you eat the more you toot) (the musical fruit the more you eat the more you toot) and the way-station where the boy and the way-station where the boy (your Isaac) (your Isaac) had awaited his coming. had awaited his coming.
His knees buckled, straightened, buckled, straightened again. When his hair fell in his eyes once more he did not bother to push it back; did not have the strength to push it back. He looked at the object, which now cast a narrow shadow back toward the upland, and kept walking.
He could make it out now, fever or no fever.
It was a door.
Less than a quarter of a mile from it, Roland"s knees buckled again and this time he could not stiffen their hinges. He fell, his right hand dragged across gritty sand and sh.e.l.ls, the stumps of his fingers screamed as fresh scabs were scored away. The stumps began to bleed again.
So he crawled. Crawled with the steady rush, roar, and retreat of the Western Sea in his ears. He used his elbows and his knees, digging grooves in the sand above the twist of dirty green kelp which marked the high-tide line. He supposed the wind was still blowing-it must be, for the chills continued to whip through his body-but the only wind he could hear was the harsh gale which gusted in and out of his own lungs.
The door grew closer.
Closer.
At last, around three o"clock of that long delirious day, with his shadow beginning to grow long on his left, he reached it. He sat back on his haunches and regarded it wearily.
It stood six and a half feet high and appeared to be made of solid ironwood, although the nearest ironwood tree must grow seven hundred miles or more from here. The doork.n.o.b looked as if it were made of gold, and it was filigreed with a design which the gunslinger finally recognized: it was the grinning face of the baboon.
There was no keyhole in the k.n.o.b, above it, or below it.
The door had hinges, but they were fastened to nothing-or so it seems, the gunslinger thought. the gunslinger thought. This is a mystery, a most marvellous mystery, but does it really matter? You are dying. Your own mystery-the only one that really matters to any man or woman in the end-approaches. This is a mystery, a most marvellous mystery, but does it really matter? You are dying. Your own mystery-the only one that really matters to any man or woman in the end-approaches.
All the same, it did seem to matter.
This door. This door where no door should be. It simply stood there on the gray strand twenty feet above the high-tide line, seemingly as eternal as the sea itself, now casting the slanted shadow of its thickness toward the east as the sun westered.
Written upon it in black letters two-thirds of the way up, written in the high speech, were two words: THE PRISONER.
A demon has infested him. The name of the demon is HEROIN.
The gunslinger could hear a low droning noise. At first he thought it must be the wind or a sound in his own feverish head, but he became more and more convinced that the sound was the sound of motors... and that it was coming from behind the door.
Open it then. It"s not locked. You know it"s not locked.
Instead he tottered gracelessly to his feet and walked above the door and around to the other side.
There was was no other side. no other side.
Only the dark gray strand, stretching back and back. Only the waves, the sh.e.l.ls, the high-tide line, the marks of his own approach-bootprints and holes that had been made by his elbows. He looked again and his eyes widened a little. The door wasn"t here, but its shadow was.
He started to put out his right hand-oh, it was so slow learning its new place in what was left of his life-dropped it, and raised his left instead. He groped, feeling for hard resistance.
If I feel it I"ll knock on nothing, the gunslinger thought. the gunslinger thought. That would be an interesting thing to do before dying! That would be an interesting thing to do before dying!
His hand encountered thin air far past the place where the door-even if invisible-should have been.
Nothing to knock on.
And the sound of motors-if that"s what it really had been-was gone. Now there was just the wind, the waves, and the sick buzzing inside his head.
The gunslinger walked slowly back to the other side of what wasn"t there, already thinking it had been a hallucination to start with, a- He stopped.
At one moment he had been looking west at an uninterrupted view of a gray, rolling wave, and then his view was interrupted by the thickness of the door. He could see its keyplate, which also looked like gold, with the latch protruding from it like a stubby metal tongue. Roland moved his head an inch to the north and the door was gone. Moved it back to where it had been and it was there again. It did not appear; appear; it was just there. it was just there.
He walked all the way around and faced the door, swaying.
He could walk around on the sea side, but he was convinced that the same thing would happen, only this time he would fall down.
I wonder if I could go through through it from the nothing side? it from the nothing side?
Oh, there were all sorts of things to wonder about, but the truth was simple: here stood this door alone on an endless stretch of beach, and it was for only one of two things: opening or leaving closed.
The gunslinger realized with dim humor that maybe he wasn"t dying quite as fast as he thought. If he had been, would he feel this scared?
He reached out and grasped the doork.n.o.b with his left hand. Neither the deadly cold of the metal nor the thin, fiery heat of the runes engraved upon it surprised him.
He turned the k.n.o.b. The door opened toward him when he pulled.
Of all the things he might have expected, this was not any of them.
The gunslinger looked, froze, uttered the first scream of terror in his adult life, and slammed the door. There was nothing for it to bang shut on, but it banged shut just the same, sending seabirds screeching up from the rocks on which they had perched to watch him.
5.
What he had seen was the earth from some high, impossible distance in the sky-miles up, it seemed. He had seen the shadows of clouds lying upon that earth, floating across it like dreams. He had seen what an eagle might see if one could fly thrice as high as any eagle could.
To step through such a door would be to fall, screaming, for what might be minutes, and to end by driving one"s self deep into the earth.
No, you saw more.
He considered it as he sat stupidly on the sand in front of the closed door with his wounded hand in his lap. The first faint traceries had appeared above his elbow now. The infection would reach his heart soon enough, no doubt about that.
It was the voice of Cort in his head.
Listen to me, maggots. Listen for your lives, for that"s what it could mean some day. You never see all that you see. One of the things they send you to me for is to show you what you don"t see in what you see-what you don"t see when you"re scared, or fighting, or running, or f.u.c.king. No man sees all that he sees, but before you"re gunslingers-those of you who don"t go west, that is-you"ll see more in one single glance than some men see in a lifetime. And some of what you don"t see in that glance you"ll see afterwards, in the eye of your memory-if you live long enough to remember, that is. Because the difference between seeing and not seeing can be the difference between living and dying. in one single glance than some men see in a lifetime. And some of what you don"t see in that glance you"ll see afterwards, in the eye of your memory-if you live long enough to remember, that is. Because the difference between seeing and not seeing can be the difference between living and dying.
He had seen the earth from this huge height (and it had somehow been more dizzying and distorting than the vision of growth which had come upon him shortly before the end of his time with the man in black, because what he had seen through the door had been no vision), and what little remained of his attention had registered the fact that the land he was seeing was neither desert nor sea but some green place of incredible lushness with interstices of water that made him think it was a swamp, but- What little remained of your attention, the voice of Cort mimicked savagely. You saw more!
Yes.
He had seen white.
White edges.
Bravo, Roland! Cort cried in his mind, and Roland seemed to feel the swat of that hard, callused hand. He winced. Cort cried in his mind, and Roland seemed to feel the swat of that hard, callused hand. He winced.
He had been looking through a window.
The gunslinger stood with an effort, reached forward, felt cold and burning lines of thin heat against his palm. He opened the door again.
6.
The view he had expected-that view of the earth from some horrendous, unimaginable height-was gone. He was looking at words he didn"t understand. He almost almost understood them; it was as if the Great Letters had been twisted.... understood them; it was as if the Great Letters had been twisted....
Above the words was a picture of a horseless vehicle, a motor-car of the sort which had supposedly filled the world before it moved on. Suddenly he thought of the things Jake had said when, at the way station, the gunslinger had hypnotized him.
This horseless vehicle with a woman wearing a fur stole laughing beside it, could be whatever had run Jake over in that strange other world.
This is that other world, the gunslinger thought. the gunslinger thought.
Suddenly the view...
It did not change; it moved. moved. The gunslinger wavered on his feet, feeling vertigo and a touch of nausea. The words and the picture descended and now he saw an aisle with a double row of seats on the far side. A few were empty, but there were men in most of them, men in strange dress. He supposed they were suits, but he had never seen any like them before. The things around their necks could likewise be ties or cravats, but he had seen none like these, either. And, so far as he could tell, not one of them was armed-he saw no dagger nor sword, let alone a gun. What kind of trusting sheep were these? Some read papers covered with tiny words-words broken here and there with pictures-while others wrote on papers with pens of a sort the gunslinger had never seen. But the pens mattered little to him. It was the The gunslinger wavered on his feet, feeling vertigo and a touch of nausea. The words and the picture descended and now he saw an aisle with a double row of seats on the far side. A few were empty, but there were men in most of them, men in strange dress. He supposed they were suits, but he had never seen any like them before. The things around their necks could likewise be ties or cravats, but he had seen none like these, either. And, so far as he could tell, not one of them was armed-he saw no dagger nor sword, let alone a gun. What kind of trusting sheep were these? Some read papers covered with tiny words-words broken here and there with pictures-while others wrote on papers with pens of a sort the gunslinger had never seen. But the pens mattered little to him. It was the paper. paper. He lived in a world where paper and gold were valued in rough equivalency. He had never seen so much paper in his life. Even now one of the men tore a sheet from the yellow pad which lay upon his lap and crumpled it into a ball, although he had only written on the top half of one side and not at all on the other. The gunslinger was not too sick to feel a twinge of horror and outrage at such unnatural profligacy. He lived in a world where paper and gold were valued in rough equivalency. He had never seen so much paper in his life. Even now one of the men tore a sheet from the yellow pad which lay upon his lap and crumpled it into a ball, although he had only written on the top half of one side and not at all on the other. The gunslinger was not too sick to feel a twinge of horror and outrage at such unnatural profligacy.
Beyond the men was a curved white wall and a row of windows. A few of these were covered by some sort of shutters, but he could see blue sky beyond others.
Now a woman approached the doorway, a woman wearing what looked like a uniform, but of no sort Roland had ever seen. It was bright red, and part of it was pants. pants. He could see the place where her legs became her crotch. This was nothing he had ever seen on a woman who was not undressed. He could see the place where her legs became her crotch. This was nothing he had ever seen on a woman who was not undressed.
She came so close to the door that Roland thought she would walk through, and he blundered back a step, lucky not to fall. She looked at him with the practiced solicitude of a woman who is at once a servant and no one"s mistress but her own. This did not interest the gunslinger. What interested him was that her expression never changed. It was not the way you expected a woman-anybody, for that matter-to look at a dirty, swaying, exhausted man with revolvers crisscrossed on his hips, a blood-soaked rag wrapped around his right hand, and jeans which looked as if they"d been worked on with some kind of buzzsaw.
"Would you like..." the woman in red asked. There was more, but the gunslinger didn"t understand exactly what it meant. Food or drink, he thought. That red cloth-it was not cotton. Silk? It looked a little like silk, but- "Gin," a voice answered, and the gunslinger understood that. Suddenly he understood much more: It wasn"t a door.
It was eyes. eyes.
Insane as it might seen, he was looking at part of a carriage that flew through the sky. He was looking through someone"s eyes.
Whose?
But he knew. He was looking through the eyes of the prisoner.
CHAPTER 2.
Eddie Dean
1.
As if to confirm this idea, mad as it was, what the gunslinger was looking at through the doorway suddenly rose and slid sidewards. The view turned turned (that feeling of vertigo again, a feeling of standing still on a plate with wheels under it, a plate which hands he could not see moved this way and that), and then the aisle was flowing past the edges of the doorway. He pa.s.sed a place where several women, all dressed in the same red uniforms, stood. This was a place of steel things, and he would have liked to make the moving view stop in spite of his pain and exhaustion so he could see what the steel things were-machines of some sort. One looked a bit like an oven. The army woman he had already seen was pouring the gin which the voice had requested. The bottle she poured from was very small. It was gla.s.s. The vessel she was pouring it into (that feeling of vertigo again, a feeling of standing still on a plate with wheels under it, a plate which hands he could not see moved this way and that), and then the aisle was flowing past the edges of the doorway. He pa.s.sed a place where several women, all dressed in the same red uniforms, stood. This was a place of steel things, and he would have liked to make the moving view stop in spite of his pain and exhaustion so he could see what the steel things were-machines of some sort. One looked a bit like an oven. The army woman he had already seen was pouring the gin which the voice had requested. The bottle she poured from was very small. It was gla.s.s. The vessel she was pouring it into looked looked like gla.s.s but the gunslinger didn"t think it actually was. like gla.s.s but the gunslinger didn"t think it actually was.
What the doorway showed had moved along before he could see more. There was another of those dizzying turns and he was looking at a metal door. There was a lighted sign in a small oblong. This word the gunslinger could read. VACANT VACANT, it said.
The view slid down a little. A hand entered it from the right of the door the gunslinger was looking through and grasped the k.n.o.b of the door the gunslinger was looking at. He saw the cuff of a blue shirt, slightly pulled back to reveal crisp curls of black hair. Long fingers. A ring on one of them, with a jewel set into it that might have been a ruby or a firedim or a piece of trumpery trash. The gunslinger rather thought it this last-it was too big and vulgar to be real.
The metal door swung open and the gunslinger was looking into the strangest privy he had ever seen. It was all metal.
The edges of the metal door flowed past the edges of the door on the beach. The gunslinger heard the sound of it being closed and latched. He was spared another of those giddy spins, so he supposed the man through whose eyes he was watching must have reached behind himself to lock himself in.
Then the view did turn-not all the way around but half-and he was looking into a mirror, seeing a face he had seen once before... on a Tarot card. The same dark eyes and spill of dark hair. The face was calm but pale, and in the eyes-eyes through which he saw now reflected back at him-Roland saw some of the dread and horror of that baboon-ridden creature on the Tarot card.
The man was shaking.
He"s sick, too.
Then he remembered Nort, the weed-eater in Tull.
He thought of the Oracle.
A demon has infested him.
The gunslinger suddenly thought he might know what HEROIN was after all: something like the devil-gra.s.s.
A trifle upsetting, isn"t he?
Without thought, with the simple resolve that had made him the last of them all, the last to continue marching on and on long after Cuthbert and the others had died or given up, committed suicide or treachery or simply recanted the whole idea of the Tower; with the single-minded and incurious resolve that had driven him across the desert and all the years before the desert in the wake of the man in black, the gunslinger stepped through the doorway.