"We don"t know each other."

"What does that mean?"

"I found out from you I"m a more physical person than I thought I was. Okay, so it makes me skeptical of myself and impatient about things. So, being a careful person, I need time. I just can"t go mooning and dreaming around here and letting important things slide."

"Mooning and dreaming are very good stuff."

"Sure, sure, sure. We really don"t know each other at all. And I am a drone. A worker. A builder. Maybe I can learn to play someday. But I have to have something solid, all built, before I"ll dare. Please understand."

I gave up. I lifted her hand up and opened it and kissed the palm. She shivered. I said, "Give me a call when you get all your ducks in a row. When you feel like getting acquainted."

"Could you call me?"

"I suppose so. Why?"

"It"s very strange to feel so shy about somebody you"ve been to bed with. But I do."

"Cindy, I will call you. But when?"

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, a sign of relaxation and contentment and eventual antic.i.p.ation.

"Just try me every once in a while, okay?"

And it was okay because it had to be. There wasn"t any other choice. Sometimes it is a relief not to have a choice. I will have to get Meyer to explain this concept to me.

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