So, with a muttered word he went out and up to his dressing-room, had a bath, and then lay reading with serious brows _The Winning Post_ until his man told him that it was time to dress.
Slowly and with the absorbed care that he always gave to these preparations he made himself ready for the Beaminster dinner.
CHAPTER V
LIZZIE"S JOURNEY--I
"So thy great gift, upon misprision growing, Comes home again, on better judgment making; Thus have I had thee, as a dream doth flatter In sleep a king; but waking no such matter."
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
I
During this year Lizzie Rand was glad that she had so much to do. As she had never until now given the romance in her an opportunity for freedom, so had she never before realized the amazing invasion upon life that that same romance might threaten.
Indeed by the early summer months of 1899 "threaten" was no longer an honest definition, for, now this same Romance had invaded, had conquered, had confronted the very citadels of Lizzie"s heart, citadels never surveyed nor challenged at any time before.
Nevertheless, even now, Portland Place noticed no change in Miss Rand.
Norris, Mrs. Newton, Dorchester would still, had they been challenged, have protested that Miss Rand had no conception of the softer, more sentimental side of life; she was there for discipline and order--Norris had been known to be led a fearful dance by young women "time and again"--Mrs. Newton had pa.s.sionately adored the late Mr. Newton until a sudden chill had carried him to St. Agnes, Bare Street Cemetery, whither Mrs. Newton, every Sunday, did still make her stately pilgrimage--even Dorchester had once, it was said, paid grim attentions to a soldier who had, unhappily, found in some fluffy young woman a more hopeful comfort.
Here, above and below stairs, pa.s.sion had marked its victims ... Miss Rand only could have felt no touch of it.
She sometimes wondered at herself that she could so calmly and dispa.s.sionately separate the one life from the other. Never, within that neat stern room at Portland Place, was there a shudder or sudden invading thrill at some flashing recollection or imagination. To her work every nerve, every energy was given. Now, indeed, more than ever before in her experience of it did 104 Portland Place demand her presence. Increasingly throughout these months of 1899 was the solemn heavy air unsettled.
Lizzie, to whom all impression came with sharpening acuteness, had seen in the appearance, success and marriage of Rachel Beaminster the disturbing elements at work--"Things will never be the same here again"--she had said to herself.
It was, of course, through Lady Adela that Lizzie studied the house. The d.u.c.h.ess she never saw, but it was Lady Adela"s att.i.tude, before and after those interviews with her mother, that told their story. Lady Adela had never until now appeared an interesting figure to Lizzie, but now forth, from the dry sterile husk of her, a life, pathetic, struggling against heritages of dumb years, tried to come.
Lady Adela was unhappy; the very foundations of her existence threatened to dismay her, at any moment, by their insecurity. Within her the Beaminster tradition urged, before Lizzie Rand at any rate, the maintenance of dignity and indifference, but the novelty to her of all this disturbance brought with it a hapless inability to deal with it, and again and again little exclamations, little surprised wonders at what the world could be coming to, little confused clutchings at anything that offered stability, showed Lizzie that trouble was on every side of her. Then through the house rumour began to twist its way--Her Grace was not so well--"The Old Lady was breaking up" (this, in the close security of shuttered rooms below stairs).
No one could say whence these whispers gathered. Dorchester would admit nothing. Her own position in the servants" hall was that of a lofty uncompromising female Jove, and she knew well enough that her supremacy over Norris and Mrs. Newton depended on her mistress"s supremacy over the world in general. Not for her then to admit ill health.
"Indeed no--Her Grace has been better of late than for years past."
But Norris and Mrs. Newton were not to be taken in. They were truly proud now of their alliance with the Beaminster family royal, but, supposing Her Grace were to leave this world to rule in a better one ("Here to-day, gone to-morrow "igh or low," as Norris remarked), why, then "Le Roi est mort--Vive le Roi," and the Crown might, in the meanwhile, have pa.s.sed elsewhere.
"You mark my words," Mrs. Newton said to Norris, ""er Grace will go, old Victorier will go, and where"ll the Beaminster crowd be then, I ask you?
Times are movin" too quick. I wouldn"t give a toss for your Birth and Debrett and all in another twenty years."
To Lizzie also there came other signs of the times. She noticed that now the relations and friends of the family gathered more frequently together than ever before within her memory. The Duke, Lord Richard were continually in the house, and the adherents, Lady Carloes, Lord Crewner, the Ma.s.siters and all the others, called, dined, came to tea.
Throughout it all there was no expression of any change in the family policy. To Lizzie Lady Adela admitted nothing, only there were occasions when, almost against her will, she asked for advice, was uncertain a little, vague a little, even appealing a little.
Here Lizzie was exactly right, a.s.sisted and yet admitted no need for a.s.sistance. Her tact was perfect.
Lizzie had also Lady Seddon to besiege her attention.
To her considerable surprise Rachel had written to her three times during this year. On each occasion there had been some definite reason for writing, but behind the reason there had been some implied friendliness and Lizzie had, in her turn, sent answers that were more than businesslike replies.
Lizzie had seen Rachel several times in January and at each meeting her impression of Rachel"s unhappiness had grown.
"There"ve been three of you," Lizzie said to herself. "There was the girl in the schoolroom, and a fierce awkward difficult creature she was.
There was the girl in her first season, and a delightful, joyful, radiant creature she was. And now--well, there"s a girl married, fierce again, suffering again--above all, afraid of herself."
In May Rachel asked Lizzie to go and see her, and Lizzie went. That meeting was in no way personal: Rachel seemed less friendly than she had been on that day, a year ago, when she had been to Lizzie"s, but behind all that outward stiffness the appeal was there.
"She wants me to help her," thought Lizzie. "She"s too proud now to ask me: the time will come though."
All this was connected, she knew, with the fortunes of the house.
Through Lord John, Lord Richard, the Duke, Lady Adela, Dorchester, Norris, Mrs. Newton the spirit of uneasiness was abroad.
The d.u.c.h.ess, during these months, more than ever before, was present in every room and pa.s.sage of the house--
The shadow of some coming event hovered.
II
Over Lizzie"s other life, also, the d.u.c.h.ess hovered. Were any disaster to s.n.a.t.c.h Her Grace from the domination of this world into a comparatively humble position in the next, Lizzie did not doubt that the Beaminsters would once more take Francis Breton into their ranks. It was the d.u.c.h.ess who held the gate against him.
The romantic side of her did not hold complete dominion. She knew that were Francis Breton once more accepted by the family, his distance from her would be greatly increased. Were he, on the other hand, to marry her whilst he was yet an exile, then had she no fear of after consequences. She could hold her own with anyone.
She had now very little doubt that he loved her. She had seen, during the last year, the flame of some pa.s.sion burning in his eyes, increasingly he depended upon her and found opportunities for being with her. There was no other woman whom he saw, of that she was convinced.
Often he had been about to tell her some secret and then had refrained; she thought that he was waiting until he could be quite a.s.sured that she loved him, and she had fancied that since that day in last December when the first snow had fallen and they had had that little talk together he had been much happier, as though he were now convinced of her love for him.
The spring pa.s.sed and still his confession did not come. With the early summer he seemed to be once more unhappy and unsettled, and throughout May she scarcely saw him.
Then in July he asked her whether she would dine with him and go to the theatre. He had two dress circle tickets for _Mrs. Lemiter"s Decision_.
Something told her that on this evening he would speak to her.
As she dressed her fingers trembled so that b.u.t.tons and hooks and laces were of terrible difficulty. In the gla.s.s she saw her cheeks flaming; she wished she were taller, not so st.u.r.dy. The lines of her face, she thought, were all so set as though they knew well for what purpose they were there. "Business _we"re_ here for ..." they seemed to say.
For once she envied her sister"s fair rounded fluffiness. Her black evening dress was fashionable, almost smart, but just a little stern: she fastened some dark red carnations into her waist and hung around her throat a chain of tiny pearls, her only piece of jewellery. Her hair was restrained and disciplined--she could not extract from it any waves or soft indulgencies.
At the end, staring at her reflection, she let herself go.
"He"s seen me all this time as I am. How silly to try to alter things!"
Her face glowed, the pearls and carnations seemed to smile encouragement to her.
What possibilities had this new, this wonderful Lizzie Rand! What a life might be hers! What a happy, fortunate woman she was!
G.o.d, how grateful she was!