"Or, no," he corrected himself. "Perhaps that is an incorrect description of my--very imaginative--flight through speculation the other night.
Possibly I should say a gradual transference, instead of disintegration of soul. For it seemed to me as if the man who watched might gradually, as it were, absorb into himself the soul of the double, but purified. For the watcher has the tremendous advantage of seeing the hypocrite living the hypocrite"s life, while the hypocrite is only seen. Might not the former, therefore, conceivably draw in strength, while the other faded into weakness? Ignorance is the terrible thing in life, I think. Now the man who watched would receive knowledge, fearful knowledge, but the man who was watched, while perhaps suffering first uneasiness, then possibly even terror, would not, in my conception, ever clearly understand. He would not any longer dare at night to sit down alone to fill up that dreadful diary. He would not any longer perhaps--I only say perhaps--dare to commit the deeds the record of which in the past the diary held. But his lesson would be one of fear, making for weakness, finally almost for nothingness. And the other night I conceived of him at last fading away in the gloom of his room with the darkened window."
"That was your end!" said Mr. Harding, in a low voice.
"Yes, that was my end."
"Then," said Chichester, "you think the lesson men learn from being contemplated tends only to destroy them?"
But Malling, now with a smiling change to greater lightness and ease, hastened to traverse this statement.
"No, no," he replied. "For the contemplation of a man by his fellow-men must always be an utterly different thing from his own contemplation by himself. For our fellow-men always remain in a very delightful ignorance of us. Don"t they, Lady Sophia? And so they can never destroy us, luckily for us."
He had done what he wished to do, and he was now ready for other activities. But he found it was not easy to switch his companions off onto another trail. Lady Sophia, now that he looked at her closely, he saw to be under the influence of fear, provoked doubtless by the subject they had been discussing. Chichester, also, had a look as of fear in his eyes. As to the rector, he sat gazing at his curate, and there had come upon his countenance an expression of almost unnatural resolution, such as a coward"s might wear if terror forced him into defiance.
In reply to Malling"s half-laughing question, Lady Sophia said:
"You"ve studied all these things, haven"t you?"
"Do you mean what are sometimes called occult questions?"
"Yes."
"I have."
"And do you believe in them?"
"I"m afraid I must ask you to be a little more definite."
"Do you believe that there are such things as doubles?"
"I have no reason to believe that there are, unless you include wrongly in the term the merely physical replica. It appears to be established that now and then two human beings are born who, throughout their respective lives remain physically so much alike that it is difficult, if not impossible, to distinguish between them."
"I didn"t mean only that," she said quickly.
"You meant the double in mind and soul as well as in body," said Chichester.
"Yes."
"How can one see if a soul is the double of another soul?" said Malling.
"Then you think such a story as Mr. Chichester related in his sermon all nonsense?" said Lady Sophia, almost hotly, and yet, it seemed to Malling, with a slight lifting of the countenance, as if relief perhaps were stealing through her.
"I thought it a legitimate and powerful invention introduced to point a moral."
"Nothing more than that?" said Lady Sophia.
Malling did not reply; for suddenly a strange question had risen up in him. Did he really think it nothing more than that? He glanced at Chichester, and the curate"s eyes seemed asking him to say.
The rector"s heavy and powerful frame shifted in his chair, and his voice was heard saying:
"My dear Sophy, I think you had better leave such things alone. You do not know where they might lead you."
There was in his voice a sound of forced authority, as if he had been obliged to "screw himself up" to speak as he had just spoken. Lady Sophia was about to make a quick rejoinder when, still with a forced air of resolution, Mr. Harding addressed himself to Chichester.
"Since I saw you this morning," he said, "I find that I shall not be here next Sunday."
He looked about the circle at his wife and Malling.
"The doctor has ordered me away for a week, and I"ve decided to go."
His introduction of the subject had been abrupt. As if almost in despite of themselves, Lady Sophia and Malling exchanged glances. Chichester said nothing.
"You can get on without me quite well, of course," continued the rector.
"Are you going to be away long?" said Chichester.
"No; I think only for a week or so. The doctor says I absolutely need a breath of fresh air."
Malling got up to go.
"I hope you"ll enjoy your little holiday," he said. "Are you going far?"
"Oh, dear, no. My doctor recommends Tankerton on the Kentish coast. It seems the air there is extraordinary. When the tide is down it comes off the mud flats. A kind parishioner of mine--" he turned slightly toward his wife: "Mrs. Amherst, Sophy--has a cottage there and has often offered me the use of it. I hope to accept her offer now."
Lady Sophia expressed no surprise at the project, and did not inquire whether her husband wished her to accompany him.
But when she shook hands with Malling, her dark eyes seemed to say to him, "I was wrong."
And he thought she looked humbled.
VIII
_"Could you come down stay with me Sat.u.r.day till Monday all alone air delicious feel rather solitary glad of your company Marcus Harding Minors Tankerton Kent."_
Such was the telegram which Evelyn Malling was considering on the following Friday afternoon. The sender had paid an answer. The telegraph-boy was waiting in the hall. Malling only kept him five minutes. He went away with this reply:
_"Accept with pleasure will take four twenty train at Victoria Sat.u.r.day Malling."_
Malling could not have said with truth that he had expected a summons from Mr. Harding, yet he found that he was not surprised to get it. The man was in a bad way. He needed sympathy, he needed help. That was certain. But whether he could help him was more than doubtful, Malling thought. Perhaps, really, a doctor and the wonderful air from the mud flats of Tankerton! But here Malling found that a strong incredulity checked him. He did not believe that the rector would be restored by a doctor"s advice and a visit to the sea.
That afternoon he went to Westminster, and asked for Professor Stepton.
"He is away, sir," said the fair Scotch parlormaid.