Suddenly she checked herself and looked, with a sort of covert inquiry, at Malling.
"You must think me quite mad to talk like this," she said, with a return to her manner when he first met her.
"Shall I tell you what I really think?" he asked, leaning forward in the chair he had taken.
"Yes, do, do!"
"I think you are very ambitious for your husband and that your ambition for him has received a perhaps mysterious--check."
Before she could reply the door opened and Mr. Harding reappeared.
At lunch he carefully avoided any reference to church matters, and they talked on general subjects. Lady Sophia showed herself a nervously intelligent and ardent woman. It seemed to Malling obvious that she was devoted to her husband, "wrapped up in" him--to use an expressive phrase.
Any failure on his part upset her even more than it did him. Secretly she must still be quivering from the public distresses of the morning. But she now strove to aid the rector"s admirable effort to be serene, and proved herself a clever talker, and well informed on the events of the day. Of her Malling got a fairly clear impression.
But his impression of her husband was confused and almost nebulous.
"Do you smoke?" asked Mr. Harding, when lunch was over.
Malling said that he did.
"Then come and have a cigar in my study."
"Yes, do go," said Lady Sophia. "A quiet talk with you will rest my husband."
And she went away, leaving the two men together.
Mr. Harding"s study looked out at the back of the house upon a tiny strip of garden. It was very comfortably, though not luxuriously, furnished, and the walls were lined with bookcases. While his host went to a drawer to get the cigar-box, Malling idly cast his eyes over the books in the shelves nearest to him. He always liked to see what a man had to read.
The first book his eyes rested upon was Myers"s "Human Personality."
Then came a series of works by Hudson, including "Psychic Phenomena,"
then Oliver Lodge"s "Survival of Man," "Man and the Universe," and "Life and Matter." Farther along were works by Lowes d.i.c.kinson and Professor William James, Bowden"s "The Imitation of Buddha" and Inge"s "Christian Mysticism." At the end of the shelf, bound in white vellum, was Don Lorenzo Scupoli"s "The Spiritual Combat."
A drawer shut, and Mailing turned about to take the cigar which Mr.
Harding offered him.
"The light is rather strong, don"t you think?" Mr. Harding said, when the two men had lit up. "I"ll lower the blind."
He did so, and they sat down in a sort of agreeable twilight, aware of the blaze of an almost un-English sun without.
Malling settled down to his cigar with a very definite intention to clear up his impressions of the rector. The essence of the man baffled him. He had known more about Lady Sophia in five minutes than he knew about Mr. Harding now, although he had talked with him, walked with him, heard him preach, and watched him intently while he was doing so. His confusion and distress of the morning were comprehended by Malling. They were undoubtedly caused by the preacher"s painful consciousness of the presence and criticism of one whom, apparently, he feared, or of whose adverse opinion at any rate he was in peculiar dread. But what was the character of the man himself? Was he saint or sinner, or just ordinary, normal man, with a usual allowance of faults and virtues? Was he a man of real force, or was he painted lath? The Chichester episodes seemed to point to the latter conclusion. But Malling was too intelligent to take everything at its surface value. He knew much of the trickery of man, but that knowledge did not blind him to the mystery of man. He had exposed charlatans. Yet he had often said to himself, "Who can ever really expose another? Who can ever really expose himself?" Essentially he was the Seeker. And he was seldom or never dogmatic. A friend of his, who professed to believe in transmigration, had once said of him, "I"m quite certain Malling must have been a sleuth-hound once." Now he wished to get on a trail.
But Mr. Harding, who on the previous day had been almost strangely frank about Henry Chichester, to-day had apparently no intention to be frank about himself. Though he had desired Malling"s company, now that they were together alone he showed a reserve through which, Malling believed, he secretly wanted to break. But something held him back. He talked of politics, government and church, the spread of science, the follies of the day. And Malling got little nearer to him. But presently Malling happened to mention the modern craze for discussing intimately, or, as a Frenchwoman whom he knew expressed it, "_avec un luxe de detail_,"
matters of health.
"Yes, yes," responded Mr. Harding. "It is becoming almost objectionable, almost indecent. At the same time the health of the body is a very interesting subject because of its effect upon the mind, even, so it seems sometimes, upon the very nature of a man. Now I--" he struck the ash off the end of his cigar--"was, I might almost say, the victim of my stomach in the pulpit this morning."
"You were feeling ill?"
"Not exactly ill. I have a strong const.i.tution. But I suffer at times from what the doctors call nervous dyspepsia. It is a very tiresome complaint, because it takes away for the time a man"s confidence in himself, reduces him to the worm-level almost; and it gives him absurd ideas. Now this morning in the pulpit I had an attack of pain and uneasiness, and my nerve quite gave out. You must have noticed it."
"I saw that you were troubled by something."
"Something! It was that. My poor wife was thoroughly upset by it. You know how sensitive women are. To hold a crowd of people a man must be strong and well, in full possession of his powers. And I had a good subject."
"Splendid."
"I"ll treat it again--treat it again."
The rector shifted in his chair.
"Do you think," he said after a pause, "that it is possible for another, an outsider, to know a man better than he knows himself?"
"In some cases, yes," answered Malling.
"But--as a rule?"
"There is the saying that outsiders see most of the game."
"Then why should we mind when all are subject to criticism!" exclaimed Mr. Harding, forcibly.
Evidently he was startled by his own outburst, for instantly he set about to attenuate it.
"What I mean is that men ought not to care so much as most of them undoubtedly do what others think about them."
"It certainly is a sign of great weakness to care too much," said Malling. "But some people have a quite peculiar power of impressing their critical thoughts on others. These spread uneasiness around them like an atmosphere."
"I know, I know," said the rector, with an almost hungry eagerness. "Now surely one ought to keep out of such an atmosphere, to get out of it, and to keep out of it."
"Why not?"
"But--but--how extraordinary it is, the difficulty men have in getting away from things! Haven"t you noticed that?"
"Want of moral strength," said Mailing, laconically.
"You think so?"
"Don"t you?"
At this moment there was a knock at the door. Mr. Harding started.
"How impossible it is to get a quiet moment," he said with acute irritation. "Come in!" he called out.
The footman appeared.
"Mr. Chichester has called to see you, sir."
The rector"s manner changed. He beckoned to the man to come into the room and to shut the door. The footman, looking surprised, obeyed.
"Where is he, Thomas?" asked Mr. Harding, in a lowered voice. "In the hall?"