What were his expectations? He did not know. Stepton had upset his mind.
As he went on slowly he strove to regain his mental equilibrium. But he could not decide exactly what Stepton had meant. He felt inferior to the professor as he turned into Hornton Street.
He did not hesitate, but went at once to the curate"s door and rapped. No one answered. He rapped again, and touched the bell, half hoping, even while he did so, that there was no one within to hear.
But an inquiring head appeared in the area, observed, and was sharply withdrawn. Steps sounded in the pa.s.sage, and the maid Ellen presented herself, looking somewhat disordered.
"Yes, sir?" she said.
"Is Mr. Chichester at home?"
"He is in, sir, poor gentleman," replied the maid. "Did you want to see him?"
"Yes."
"I"m sure I don"t know whether he will see you, sir."
"Is he ill?"
"Not to say ill, sir. But haven"t you heard?"
"What?"
"His poor rector"s gone, sir, what used to come here to visit him so regular. I never see a gentleman in such a way. Why, he"s so changed I don"t hardly know him."
"Have you been here long?" said Mailing, abruptly.
"Only six months, sir."
The maid began to look rather astonished.
"And so Mr. Chichester is quite altered by his grief?"
"You never did, sir! He was so firm, wasn"t he, above every one! Even his rector used to look to him and be guided by him. And now he"s as gentle and weak almost as a new-born child, as they say."
Malling thought of Stepton. Had he looked forward to some such change?
"Perhaps I could console Mr. Chichester in his grief," he said. "Will you take him this card and ask if I can see him? I knew Mr. Harding, too. I might be of use, possibly."
"I"ll ask him, sir. He"s laying down on the bed, I do believe."
Ellen hurried up-stairs with the card. It seemed to Malling that she was away for a long time. At last she returned.
"If you please, sir, Mr. Chichester wants to know if it"s anything important. He"s feeling very bad, poor gentleman. But of course if it"s anything important, he wouldn"t for all the world say no."
"It is important."
"Then I was to ask you to walk in, sir, please."
Chichester"s sitting-room was empty when Malling came into it, and the folding-doors between it and the bedroom were shut. Ellen went away, and Malling heard a faint murmur of voices, and then Ellen"s footstep retreating down the stairs. Silence followed. He waited, at first standing. Then he sat down near the piano. Not a sound reached him from the bedroom. On the curate"s table lay a book. Malling took it up. The t.i.tle was "G.o.d"s Will be Done." The author was a well-known high-church divine, Father Rowton. To him, then, Henry Chichester betook himself for comfort. The piano stood open. On it was music. Malling looked and saw, "Oh, for the wings, for the wings of a dove!" by Mendelssohn. The little room seemed full of pious orthodoxy. Surely its atmosphere was utterly changed since Malling last was in it. The melody of "Oh, for the wings!"
went through his brain. That the Henry Chichester he had recently known, that cruel searcher after and expounder of truth, that he should be helped by those words, by that melody, in an hour of sorrow!
There was a movement in the bedroom. The folding-doors opened inward, and the curate appeared. He was very pale, and looked really ill. His face had fallen in. His fair hair was slightly disordered, and his blue eyes were surrounded by red rims. His expression suggested that he had recently undergone an extremely violent shock, which had shaken badly both body and mind. He looked dazed. Coming forward feebly, he held out his hand.
"I believe it is something important," he said in a gentle, rather wavering voice; "otherwise--I am hardly fit, I fear, to be with my kind.
I"--He sat down--"I have had a terrible shock, Mr. Malling. You have heard?"
"You mean Mr. Harding"s death?"
"Yes."
"I have just heard of it."
"It occurred at half-past three o"clock last night, or, rather, this morning. He had been declining for a long while. At the last he just faded out, as it were. The strange thing is that I knew the exact moment when he entered into rest."
"You weren"t with him?"
"Oh, no. I was here, asleep. But at three o"clock I awoke. I felt violently agitated. I can scarcely describe the sensation. It was as if I was torn, as if mind and body, or spirit and body, were torn, lacerated. I suffered the greatest conceivable agony. I tried to cry out, but I could not. Nor could I move. Then everything suddenly seemed to fail, all in a moment, and I was at peace. But it was like the peace of death, I think. And I was aware--I don"t know how--that Mr. Harding was dead. I moved. I looked at my watch. It was a minute after half-past three. I noted down the time. And this morning--I heard."
"And then?"
"Only then I understood my loss--the loss to us all. Ah, Mr. Mailing, you knew him, but not as I did! Few or none knew him as I did. He was the greatest and best of men, full of power, but full of kindness and goodness, too. He guided me in everything. I can never tell you how I looked up to him, how I trusted him. His judgment was extraordinary, his reading of character was unerring. I do believe he knew me better than I knew myself. What shall I do without him?"
The curate"s grief was almost as genuine and unself-conscious as a child"s, and Malling felt as if at that moment, like a child, he felt himself adrift in a difficult world. His gentle, kindly, but not strong face was distorted, but not hardened, by his distress, which seemed begging for sympathy. And Malling remembered the Henry Chichester he had known some years ago, before the days of St. Joseph"s, the saintly but rather weak man, beloved by every one, but ruling no one. That man was surely before him, and that man knew not how to play a hypocrite"s part.
Yet Malling felt he must test him.
"His death is very sad," he replied; "but surely his powers had been on the decline for a long while."
"His powers, but not his capacity for goodness. His patience was angelic. Even when the cruelest blow of all fell upon him, even when his wife--whom, G.o.d forgive me! I don"t think some of us can ever forgive--even when she deserted him in his hour of need, he never complained. He knew it was G.o.d"s hand upon him, and he submitted.
He has taught me what true patience is. What I owe to him! What I owe to him!"
As if distressed beyond measure, the curate got up, almost wringing his thin hands.
"It was he who sacrificed his time for me!" he continued, moving restlessly about the room. "But I seem to remember I told you. Didn"t I tell you--or was it some one else?--how he gave up the hours which should have been hours of repose in order that my will might be strengthened, that I might be developed into a man more worthy to be his coadjutor?
When I think, when I remember--"
His light, tenor voice failed. Tears stood in his gentle, blue eyes.
"If I am worth anything at all," he suddenly cried out, "if I have gained any force of character, any power for good at all, I owe it all to my rector"s self-sacrificing endeavors on my behalf--of course, through G.o.d"s blessing."
"Then," said Malling, "you think that Mr. Harding changed you by his influence?"
"He helped me to develop, he brought me on. Jealousy was unknown to him.
I was a very poor preacher. He taught me how to hold people"s attention.
When I knew he was near me I sometimes seemed almost inspired. I was inspired by him. I preached almost as if out of his mouth. And now!"
He made a despairing gesture.
"Now it will all be different!" he exclaimed.