"Well, suppose something has happened?" Lise"s reply was pert, defiant.
"What"s it to you? If anything"s happened, it"s happened to me--hasn"t it?"
Janet approached her.
"What are you trying to do?" said Lise. "Push me into the gutter?"
"I guess you"re there already," said Janet.
Lise was roused to a sudden pitch of fury. She turned on Janet and thrust her back.
"Well, if I am who"s going to blame me?" she cried. "If you had to work all day in that hole, standing on your feet, picked on by yaps for six a week, I guess you wouldn"t talk virtuous, either. It"s easy for you to shoot off your mouth, you"ve got a soft snap with Ditmar."
Janet was outraged. She could not restrain her anger.
"How dare you say that?" she demanded.
Lise was cowed.
"Well, you drove me to it--you make me mad enough to say anything.
Just because I went to Gruber"s with Neva Lorrie and a couple of gentlemen--they were gentlemen all right, as much gentlemen as Ditmar--you come at me and tell me I"m all to the bad." She began to sob. "I"m as straight as you are. How was I to know the highball was stiff? Maybe I was tired--anyhow, it put me on the queer, and everything in the joint began to tango "round me--and Neva came home with me."
Janet felt a surge of relief, in which were mingled anxiety and resentment: relief because she was convinced that Lise was telling the truth, anxiety because she feared for Lise"s future, resentment because Ditmar had been mentioned. Still, what she had feared most had not come to pa.s.s. Lise left her abruptly, darting down a street that led to a back entrance of the Bagatelle, and Janet pursued her way. Where, she wondered, would it all end? Lise had escaped so far, but drunkenness was an ominous sign. And "gentlemen"? What kind of gentlemen had taken her sister to Gruber"s? Would Ditmar do that sort of thing if he had a chance?
The pavement in front of the company boarding-houses by the ca.n.a.l was plastered with sodden leaves whipped from the maples by the driving rain in the night. The sky above the mills was sepia. White lights were burning in the loom rooms. When she reached the vestibule Simmons, the watchman, informed her that Mr. Ditmar had already been there, and left for Boston.
Janet did not like to acknowledge to herself her disappointment on learning that Ditmar had gone to Boston. She knew he had had no such intention the night before; an acc.u.mulated mail and many matters demanding decisions were awaiting him; and his sudden departure seemed an act directed personally against her, in the nature of a retaliation, since she had offended and repulsed him. Through Lise"s degrading act she had arrived at the conclusion that all adventure and consequent suffering had to do with Man--a conviction peculiarly maddening to such temperaments as Janet"s. Therefore she interpreted her suffering in terms of Ditmar, she had looked forward to tormenting him again, and by departing he had deliberately balked and cheated her. The rain fell ceaselessly out of black skies, night seemed ever ready to descend on the river, a darkness--according to young Mr. Caldwell--due not to the clouds alone, but to forest fires many hundreds of miles away, in Canada. As the day wore on, however, her anger gradually gave place to an extreme weariness and depression, and yet she dreaded going home, inventing things for herself to do; arranging and rearranging Ditmar"s papers that he might have less trouble in sorting them, putting those uppermost which she thought he would deem the most important. Perhaps he would come in, late! In a world of impending chaos the brilliantly lighted office was a tiny refuge to which she clung. At last she put on her coat and rubbers, faring forth reluctantly into the wet.
At first when she entered the bedroom she thought it empty, though the gas was burning, and them she saw Lise lying face downward on the bed.
For a moment she stood still, then closed the door softly.
"Lise," she said.
"What?"
Janet sat down on the bed, putting out her hand. Unconsciously she began to stroke Lise"s hand, and presently it turned and tightened on her own.
"Lise," she said, "I understand why you--" she could not bring herself to p.r.o.nounce the words "got drunk,"--"I understand why you did it. I oughtn"t to have talked to you that way. But it was terrible to wake up and see you."
For awhile Lise did not reply. Then she raised herself, feeling her hair with an involuntary gesture, regarding her sister with a bewildered look, her face puckered. Her eyes burned, and under them were black shadows.
"How do you mean--you understand?" she asked slowly. "You never hit the booze."
Even Lise"s language, which ordinarily offended her, failed to change her sudden impa.s.sioned and repentant mood. She was astonished at herself for this sudden softening, since she did not really love Lise, and all day she had hated her, wished never to see her again.
"No, but I can understand how it would be to want to," Janet said.
"Lise, I guess we"re searching--both of us for something we"ll never find."
Lise stared at her with a contracted, puzzled expression, as of a person awaking from sleep, all of whose faculties are being strained toward comprehension.
"What do you mean?" she demanded. "You and me? You"re all right--you"ve got no kick coming."
"Life is hard, it"s hard on girls like us--we want things we can"t have." Janet was at a loss to express herself.
"Well, it ain"t any pipe dream," Lise agreed. Her glance turned involuntarily toward the picture of the Olympian dinner party pinned on the wall. "Swells have a good time," she added.
"Maybe they pay for it, too," said Janet.
"I wouldn"t holler about paying--it"s paying and not getting the goods,"
declared Lise.
"You"ll pay, and you won"t get it. That kind of life is--h.e.l.l," Janet cried.
Self-centered as Lise was, absorbed in her own trouble and present physical discomfort, this unaccustomed word from her sister and the vehemence with which it was spoken surprised and frightened her, brought home to her some hint of the terror in Janet"s soul.
"Me for the water wagon," she said.
Janet was not convinced. She had hoped to discover the ident.i.ty of the man who had taken Lise to Gruber"s, but she did not attempt to continue the conversation. She rose and took off her hat.
"Why don"t you go to bed?" she asked. "I"ll tell mother you have a headache and bring in your supper."
"Well, I don"t care if I do," replied Lise, gratefully.
Perhaps the most disconcerting characteristic of that complex affair, the human organism, is the lack of continuity of its moods. The soul, so called, is as sensitive to physical conditions as a barometer: affected by lack of sleep, by smells and sounds, by food, by the weather--whether a day be sapphire or obsidian. And the resolutions arising from one mood are thwarted by the actions of the next. Janet had observed this phenomenon, and sometimes, when it troubled her, she thought herself the most inconsistent and vacillating of creatures. She had resolved, far instance, before she fell asleep, to leave the Chippering Mill, to banish Ditmar from her life, to get a position in Boston, whence she could send some of her wages home: and in the morning, as she made her way to the office, the determination gave her a sense of peace and unity. But the northwest wind was blowing. It had chased away the mist and the clouds, the smoke from Canada. The sun shone with a high brilliancy, the elms of the Common cast sharp, black shadow-patterns on the pavements, and when she reached the office and looked out of his window she saw the blue river covered with quicksilver waves chasing one another across the current. Ditmar had not yet returned to Hampton.
About ten o"clock, as she was copying out some figures for Mr. Price, young Mr. Caldwell approached her. He had a Boston newspaper in his hand.
"Have you seen this article about Mr. Ditmar?" he asked.
"About Mr. Ditmar? No."
"It"s quite a send-off for the Colonel," said Caldwell, who was wont at times to use the t.i.tle facetiously. "Listen; "One of the most notable figures in the Textile industry of the United States, Claude Ditmar, Agent of the Chippering Mill."" Caldwell spread out the page and pointed to a picture. "There he is, as large as life."
A little larger than life, Janet thought. Ditmar was one of those men who, as the expression goes, "take" well, a valuable a.s.set in semi-public careers; and as he stood in the sunlight on the steps of the building where they had "snap-shotted" him he appeared even more ma.s.sive, forceful, and preponderant than she had known him. Beholding him thus set forth and praised in a public print, he seemed suddenly to have been distantly removed from her, to have reacquired at a bound the dizzy importance he had possessed for her before she became his stenographer. She found it impossible to realize that this was the Ditmar who had pursued and desired her; at times supplicating, apologetic, abject; and again revealed by the light in his eyes and the trembling of his hand as the sinister and ruthless predatory male from whom--since the revelation in her sister Lise she had determined to flee, and whom she had persuaded herself she despised. He was a bigger man than she had thought, and as she read rapidly down the column the fascination that crept over her was mingled with disquieting doubt of her own powers: it was now difficult to believe she had dominated or could ever dominate this self-sufficient, successful person, the list of whose achievements and qualities was so alluringly set forth by an interviewer who himself had fallen a victim.
The article carried the implication that the modern, practical, American business man was the highest type as yet evolved by civilization: and Ditmar, referred to as "a wizard of the textile industry,"
was emphatically one who had earned the grat.i.tude of the grand old Commonwealth. By the efforts of such sons she continued to maintain her commanding position among her sister states. Prominent among the qualities contributing to his success was open-mindedness, "a willingness to be shown," to sc.r.a.p machinery when his compet.i.tors still clung to older methods. The Chippering Mill had never had a serious strike,--indication of an ability to deal with labour; and Mr. Ditmar"s views on labour followed: if his people had a grievance, let them come to him, and settle it between them. No unions. He had consistently refused to recognize them. There was mention of the Bradlaugh order as being the largest commission ever given to a single mill, a reference to the excitement and speculation it had aroused in trade circles. Claude Ditmar"s ability to put it through was unquestioned; one had only to look at him,--tenacity, forcefulness, executiveness were written all over him.... In addition, the article contained much material of an autobiographical nature that must--Janet thought--have been supplied by Ditmar himself, whose modesty had evidently shrunk from the cruder self-eulogy of an interview. But she recognized several characteristic phrases.
Caldwell, watching her as she read, was suddenly fascinated. During a trip abroad, while still an undergraduate, he had once seen the face of an actress, a really good Parisian actress, light up in that way; and it had revealed to him, in a flash, the meaning of enthusiasm. Now Janet became vivid for him. There must be something unusual in a person whose feelings could be so intense, whose emotions rang so true. He was not unsophisticated. He had sometimes wondered why Ditmar had promoted her, though acknowledging her ability. He admired Ditmar, but had no illusions about him. Harvard, and birth in a social stratum where emphasis is superfluous, enabled him to smile at the reporter"s exuberance; and he was the more drawn toward her to see on Janet"s flushed face the hint of a smile as she looked up at him when she had finished.
"The Colonel hypnotized that reporter," he said, as he took the paper; and her laugh, despite its little tremor, betrayed in her an unsuspected, humorous sense of proportion. "Well, I"ll take off my hat to him," Caldwell went on. "He is a wonder, he"s got the mill right up to capacity in a week. He"s agreed to deliver those goods to the Bradlaughs by the first of April, you know, and Holster, of the Clarendon, swears it can"t be done, he says Ditmar"s crazy. Well, I stand to lose twenty-five dollars on him."
This loyalty pleased Janet, it had the strange effect of reviving loyalty in her. She liked this evidence of d.i.c.k Caldwell"s confidence.
He was a self-contained and industrious young man, with crisp curly hair, cordial and friendly yet never intimate with the other employer; liked by them--but it was tacitly understood his footing differed from theirs. He was a cousin of the Chipperings, and destined for rapid promotion. He went away every Sat.u.r.day, it was known that he spent Sundays and holidays in delightful places, to return reddened and tanned; and though he never spoke about these excursions, and put on no airs of superiority, there was that in his manner and even in the cut of his well-worn suits proclaiming him as belonging to a sphere not theirs, to a category of fortunate beings whose stumbles are not fatal, who are sustained from above. Even Ditmar was not of these.
"I"ve just been showing a lot of highbrows through the mill," he told Janet. "They asked questions enough to swamp a professor of economics."
And Janet was suddenly impelled to ask:--"Will you take me through sometime, Mr. Caldwell?"
"You"ve never been through?" he exclaimed. "Why, we"ll go now, if you can spare the time."