said Att.w.a.ter. "But here, come and see the diving-shed."
He opened a door, and Herrick saw a large display of apparatus neatly ordered: pumps and pipes, and the leaded boots, and the huge snouted helmets shining in rows along the wall; ten complete outfits.
"The whole eastern half of my lagoon is shallow, you must understand,"
said Att.w.a.ter; "so we were able to get in the dress to great advantage.
It paid beyond belief, and was a queer sight when they were at it, and these marine monsters"--tapping the nearest of the helmets--"kept appearing and reappearing in the midst of the lagoon. Fond of parables?"
he asked abruptly.
"O yes!" said Herrick.
"Well, I saw these machines come up dripping and go down again, and come up dripping and go down again, and all the while the fellow inside as dry as toast!" said Att.w.a.ter; "and I thought we all wanted a dress to go down into the world in, and come up scatheless. What do you think the name was?" he inquired.
"Self-conceit," said Herrick.
"Ah, but I mean seriously!" said Att.w.a.ter.
"Call it self-respect, then!" corrected Herrick, with a laugh.
"And why not Grace? Why not G.o.d"s Grace, Hay?" asked Att.w.a.ter. "Why not the grace of your Maker and Redeemer, He who died for you, He who upholds you, He whom you daily crucify afresh? There is nothing here,"--striking on his bosom--"nothing there"--smiting the wall--"and nothing there"--stamping--"nothing but G.o.d"s Grace! We walk upon it, we breathe it; we live and die by it; it makes the nails and axles of the universe; and a puppy in pyjamas prefers self-conceit!" The huge dark man stood over against Herrick by the line of the divers" helmets, and seemed to swell and glow; and the next moment the life had gone from him. "I beg your pardon," said he; "I see you don"t believe in G.o.d?"
"Not in your sense, I am afraid," said Herrick.
"I never argue with young atheists or habitual drunkards," said Att.w.a.ter flippantly. "Let us go across the island to the outer beach."
It was but a little way, the greatest width of that island scarce exceeding a furlong, and they walked gently. Herrick was like one in a dream. He had come there with a mind divided; come prepared to study that ambiguous and sneering mask, drag out the essential man from underneath, and act accordingly; decision being till then postponed.
Iron cruelty, an iron insensibility to the suffering of others, the uncompromising pursuit of his own interests, cold culture, manners without humanity; these he had looked for, these he still thought he saw. But to find the whole machine thus glow with the reverberation of religious zeal, surprised him beyond words; and he laboured in vain, as he walked, to piece together into any kind of whole his odds and ends of knowledge--to adjust again into any kind of focus with itself, his picture of the man beside him.
"What brought you here to the South Seas?" he asked presently.
"Many things," said Att.w.a.ter. "Youth, curiosity, romance, the love of the sea, and (it will surprise you to hear) an interest in missions.
That has a good deal declined, which will surprise you less. They go the wrong way to work; they are too parsonish, too much of the old wife, and even the old apple wife. CLOTHES, CLOTHES, are their idea; but clothes are not Christianity, any more than they are the sun in heaven, or could take the place of it! They think a parsonage with roses, and church bells, and nice old women bobbing in the lanes, are part and parcel of religion. But religion is a savage thing, like the universe it illuminates; savage, cold, and bare, but infinitely strong."
"And you found this island by an accident?" said Herrick.
"As you did!" said Att.w.a.ter. "And since then I have had a business, and a colony, and a mission of my own. I was a man of the world before I was a Christian; I"m a man of the world still, and I made my mission pay.
No good ever came of coddling. A man has to stand up in G.o.d"s sight and work up to his weight avoirdupois; then I"ll talk to him, but not before. I gave these beggars what they wanted: a judge in Israel, the bearer of the sword and scourge; I was making a new people here; and behold, the angel of the Lord smote them and they were not!"
With the very uttering of the words, which were accompanied by a gesture, they came forth out of the porch of the palm wood by the margin of the sea and full in front of the sun which was near setting. Before them the surf broke slowly. All around, with an air of imperfect wooden things inspired with wicked activity, the crabs trundled and scuttled into holes. On the right, whither Att.w.a.ter pointed and abruptly turned, was the cemetery of the island, a field of broken stones from the bigness of a child"s hand to that of his head, diversified by many mounds of the same material, and walled by a rude rectangular enclosure.
Nothing grew there but a shrub or two with some white flowers; nothing but the number of the mounds, and their disquieting shape, indicated the presence of the dead.
"The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep!"
quoted Att.w.a.ter as he entered by the open gateway into that unholy close. "Coral to coral, pebbles to pebbles," he said, "this has been the main scene of my activity in the South Pacific. Some were good, and some bad, and the majority (of course and always) null. Here was a fellow, now, that used to frisk like a dog; if you had called him he came like an arrow from a bow; if you had not, and he came unbidden, you should have seen the deprecating eye and the little intricate dancing step. Well, his trouble is over now, he has lain down with kings and councillors; the rest of his acts, are they not written in the book of the chronicles? That fellow was from Penrhyn; like all the Penrhyn islanders he was ill to manage; heady, jealous, violent: the man with the nose! He lies here quiet enough. And so they all lie.
"And darkness was the burier of the dead!""
He stood, in the strong glow of the sunset, with bowed head; his voice sounded now sweet and now bitter with the varying sense.
"You loved these people?" cried Herrick, strangely touched.
"I?" said Att.w.a.ter. "Dear no! Don"t think me a philanthropist. I dislike men, and hate women. If I like the islands at all, it is because you see them here plucked of their lendings, their dead birds and c.o.c.ked hats, their petticoats and coloured hose. Here was one I liked though," and he set his foot upon a mound. "He was a fine savage fellow; he had a dark soul; yes, I liked this one. I am fanciful," he added, looking hard at Herrick, "and I take fads. I like you."
Herrick turned swiftly and looked far away to where the clouds were beginning to troop together and ama.s.s themselves round the obsequies of day. "No one can like me," he said.
"You are wrong there," said the other, "as a man usually is about himself. You are attractive, very attractive."
"It is not me," said Herrick; "no one can like me. If you knew how I despised myself--and why!" His voice rang out in the quiet graveyard.
"I knew that you despised yourself," said Att.w.a.ter. "I saw the blood come into your face today when you remembered Oxford. And I could have blushed for you myself, to see a man, a gentleman, with these two vulgar wolves."
Herrick faced him with a thrill. "Wolves?" he repeated.
"I said wolves and vulgar wolves," said Att.w.a.ter. "Do you know that today, when I came on board, I trembled?"
"You concealed it well," stammered Herrick.
"A habit of mine," said Att.w.a.ter. "But I was afraid, for all that: I was afraid of the two wolves." He raised his hand slowly. "And now, Hay, you poor lost puppy, what do you do with the two wolves?"
"What do I do? I don"t do anything," said Herrick. "There is nothing wrong; all is above board; Captain Brown is a good soul; he is a... he is..." The phantom voice of Davis called in his ear: "There"s going to be a funeral" and the sweat burst forth and streamed on his brow. "He is a family man," he resumed again, swallowing; "he has children at home--and a wife."
"And a very nice man?" said Att.w.a.ter. "And so is Mr Whish, no doubt?"
"I won"t go so far as that," said Herrick. "I do not like Huish. And yet... he has his merits too."
"And, in short, take them for all in all, as good a ship"s company as one would ask?" said Att.w.a.ter.
"O yes," said Herrick, "quite."
"So then we approach the other point of why you despise yourself?" said Att.w.a.ter.
"Do we not all despise ourselves?" cried Herrick. "Do not you?"
"Oh, I say I do. But do I?" said Att.w.a.ter. "One thing I know at least: I never gave a cry like yours. Hay! it came from a bad conscience! Ah, man, that poor diving dress of self-conceit is sadly tattered! Today, now, while the sun sets, and here in this burying place of brown innocents, fall on your knees and cast your sins and sorrows on the Redeemer. Hay--"
"Not Hay!" interrupted the other, strangling. "Don"t call me that! I mean... For G.o.d"s sake, can"t you see I"m on the rack?"
"I see it, I know it, I put and keep you there, my fingers are on the screws!" said Att.w.a.ter. "Please G.o.d, I will bring a penitent this night before His throne. Come, come to the mercy-seat! He waits to be gracious, man--waits to be gracious!"
He spread out his arms like a crucifix, his face shone with the brightness of a seraph"s; in his voice, as it rose to the last word, the tears seemed ready.
Herrick made a vigorous call upon himself. "Att.w.a.ter," he said, "you push me beyond bearing. What am I to do? I do not believe. It is living truth to you; to me, upon my conscience, only folk-lore. I do not believe there is any form of words under heaven by which I can lift the burthen from my shoulders. I must stagger on to the end with the pack of my responsibility; I cannot shift it; do you suppose I would not, if I thought I could? I cannot--cannot--cannot--and let that suffice."
The rapture was all gone from Art.w.a.ter"s countenance; the dark apostle had disappeared; and in his place there stood an easy, sneering gentleman, who took off his hat and bowed. It was pertly done, and the blood burned in Herrick"s face.
"What do you mean by that?" he cried.
"Well, shall we go back to the house?" said Att.w.a.ter. "Our guests will soon be due."
Herrick stood his ground a moment with clenched fists and teeth; and as he so stood, the fact of his errand there slowly swung clear in front of him, like the moon out of clouds. He had come to lure that man on board; he was failing, even if it could be said that he had tried; he was sure to fail now, and knew it, and knew it was better so. And what was to be next?