"May I say that I"m "not in the habit" of being hard on people? But--I don"t understand you."
"Ah, now you"re repeating yourself," she threw back flippantly over her shoulder, as she went to bid Mrs. Sh.e.l.ley good-night. "I"m telling Marion I"ve got a headache."
Eric felt that he was slipping into the practice of letting people make a fool of him. . . .
4
Though it was a fine night, they sought in vain for a taxi and had to walk the whole way from Chelsea to Berkeley Square, Barbara with her arm through Eric"s and her hand in his, leaning against him.
"I"m going away on Sat.u.r.day," she reminded him, as they entered Eaton Square.
"High time, too," he answered.
"Do you want to get rid of me as much as all that?" she asked in gentle reproach.
"Well, you"ll automatically stop compromising yourself with me. But even that doesn"t matter so much as your health, which you"re quite deliberately ruining."
She stopped and put her hands on his shoulders, drawing his head to her until she could kiss him. Still capable of being surprised, he thanked Heaven--after a quick survey--that they had Eaton Square to themselves.
"Dear Eric, are you very delicate?" she asked. "It"s only when health is mentioned that you become human. Last night, at the very beginning of dinner. . . . And again this evening. If--if I gave in and had a week in bed, I could twist you round my finger. Now, don"t pull yourself away and look dignified! Don"t you see that I"m paying you a wonderful compliment? You"re like a woman--not that that"s a compliment. . . ."
She slipped her arm through his again, and they walked on past St.
Peter"s. Barbara was tired enough by now to be dragging on his arm, and he felt a sudden responsibility for her--as he had felt the night before when she had implicitly entrusted herself to him. He glanced down and found her walking with eyes closed and a faint smile on a very white face. The wind was blowing her hair into disorder, and he bent forward to draw her cloak more warmly over her chest.
She looked up with her eyes dark and sleep-laden.
"Am I coming undressed? Eric, you"re very good to me! I shall miss you.
Perhaps you"ll write to me, perhaps I shall be coming up to London for just one night in about a week"s time; we might dine together. Are you coming to lunch on Sat.u.r.day?"
"I"ll give the matter my best consideration. Go to sleep again, child."
"Dear Eric!"
She roused again as they crossed Piccadilly; and at the end of Berkeley Street she again cautiously bade him good-night.
"And about Sat.u.r.day?"
Until that moment he had decided to be immovable about the Sat.u.r.day invitation. He did not want to go, he wanted still less to make her think that he was going to please her. But, when she stopped him before walking on alone to her house, he felt that their position must be regularized. He had a certain status of his own--and some little pride.
"Yes, I"ll come. Delighted," he said with sudden determination.
"Good-night, dear."
"Good-night, Lady Barbara."
There was time for an unexpected hour"s work; but his broken night and jarring day had exhausted him, and he was glad to hurry through his letters and get into bed. Once there he found himself too tired even for the routine of reading the evening paper; and, while he tried to make up his mind to stretch up a hand to the switch, he dropped asleep, clutching the _Westminster Gazette_ and with the light blazing on to his face.
So he found himself five minutes later when the telephone-bell rang. The voice of a child, eager for praise, said:
"I"m in bed, Eric. And the light"s out. And I"m going to sleep in one moment."
"I was actually asleep," he answered.
"My _dear_! And I woke you up? I _am_ sorry. Go to sleep again at _once_! Good-night!"
But the sudden shock of the bell had made his nerves restless. He had, after all, to read the evening paper and two chapters of a novel before he felt sleepy enough to turn out the light and compose himself.
Contrition, whim or pressure of other business kept Barbara out of his life the next morning. He read his letters unmolested, dictated to his secretary undisturbed and worked until mid-day uninterrupted. Then, as it was his practice to walk for half-an-hour before luncheon, he abandoned his own pretence that he was away from London and strolled along Piccadilly into the Green Park before making for the Thespian Club in Grosvenor Place. At Devonshire House he caught himself pausing to glance down Berkeley Street. . . .
At the club, Manders was lunching with a square-faced law lord and a doctor with humorous, shrewd eyes, who called upon Eric to join them.
"We never see anything of you nowadays," complained Dr. Gaisford.
"I don"t have time to get as far away as this for lunch every day,"
Eric answered, as he pulled a chair in to the table. "You"re cutting your vacation short, aren"t you, Lord Ettrick?"
"Oh, I had three weeks" fishing in Scotland," the law lord answered.
"Ever since I came back, I"ve been thinking that, if I had my life over again and could choose my own career, on my soul! I"d be a gillie.
They"re a great breed, and it"s a great life."
Manders looked reflectively at the powerful, lined face, tanned yellow over a normally unwholesome white.
"I"d "a gone into the Navy," he said. "My idea of a holiday is to get into old clothes and moon about the Docks or Portsmouth--anywhere with salt and tar about, you know."
"And what would our young friend do?" asked Dr. Gaisford.
Eric blushed to find three pairs of eyes on him. He thought resentfully over his ten years of journalism; then, with a warm rush of satisfaction, he saw the elaborate little flat in Ryder Street, the bathroom poster of "A Divorce Has Been Arranged," the envelopes from his agent Grierson, containing cheques for--what _would_ they be for?--the invitations, the pleasant hum of work and stir of interest as shewn in letters from country clergymen who objected to his use of the word "G.o.d"
in a comedy of manners, the deference paid him when he was invited out to be spoiled and petted, the easy triumphs. . . .
"If I had my life over again," he answered slowly, "I should alter--nothing."
Lord Ettrick looked at him with raised eyebrows, chewing his under-lip reflectively.
"I wonder how long you"ll say that," he murmured.
A page-boy threaded his way to the table and stood bashfully at a distance with a tarnished salver pressed against his b.u.t.tons.
"Wanted on the "phone, sir," he whispered.
Eric rose resignedly and followed the page to a dark, ill-ventilated box behind the porters" desk in the hall.
"Hullo!"
"Is that Eric? Say what you like, my staff-work"s extraordinarily efficient!" Barbara"s voice rippled into laughter. "You weren"t at your flat, I just _divined_ that you"d be lunching at your club. I looked in _Who"s Who_ to see which it was. . . . How are you, Eric, dear? I haven"t seen or heard of you since last night."
Eric"s utterance hardened and became precise.