no way she could reach it." Joanne smiled at Ellen, ensconced on Kenton"s lap happily licking the last of
the b.u.t.ter and jam from her fingers.
"She must have been too frightened to try to bring someone to me." Shuddering, Joanne added, "I know that feeling far too well to hold it against her."
Dr. Ames watched as Kenton"s eyes snapped from the child nestled in his lap to Joanne as her voice
altered with fear. They dropped when the young woman met his gaze.
"You must be famished, Lady Knoll," the matron said with an opening to speak at last. "It is long past the supper hour-"
"Supper," exclaimed Joanne. "The party-"
"It will be held on the week next. Excuses have long since been sent," Lord Jason smiled. "But, Mrs.
Brasmen is correct. It is long past time for eating. Mrs. Caern will be worried into a pother if we delay longer.
"Dr. Ames, I would appreciate it if you would bring Lady Knoll to Kentoncombe."
"Of course, Lord Jason. It is little enough," Ames answered.
"Let me help you put her to bed," Joanne told Kenton as he stood with the now sleeping child in his
arms. "I owe her much." Again she saw the odd look in his lordship"s eyes.
"Mrs. Brasmen will show you to her bed," Dr. Ames put in when the silence held as the two gazed at each other. "I will have the carriage and mounts brought to the door." With a wag of her knowing brows, the large woman padded forward. What goings on-in front of her very eyes.
"I still do not understand why he had to be so sharp about it," Lady Joanne complained uneasily to Dr.
Ames as he guided the horse carefully on the muddy track.
"It simply would not have been proper-besides he was thinking of your health," Ames returned.
"Bah, Jason-Lord Jason, that is, knows I care not whether the weather be good or bad-or what others think for all that. The rain has ended; the night is clear. It would have been exhilarating to ride.
Asteron would have taken my weight without complaint," she ended pettishly.
"And you would have taken a chill," laughed the young physician, suddenly happy his infatuation with this curiously unconventional young woman had not been returned. His chances from the beginning had been slight at best. Who was he to hope for the daughter of an earl? The more he pondered the thought that had come to him upon seeing Lord Jason and Lady Joanne"s fervent embrace, the more other instances occurred to him that verified his growing belief.
"What did you say, my lady?" he asked when he realized she had spoken to him
"Where are your thoughts, Dr. Ames? And must I call you Dr. Ames? It is all so very formal. Why, I do not even know your given name."
"It is Benjamin, my lady. I would be most pleased to have you use it-if you promise never to voice it in
front of Mrs. Brasmen."
Both laughed at the thought of the effect of such informality upon the sombre matron.
"Can"t you just see her? She would puff up and those brows of hers would wag worse than a pup"s tail,"
Joanne managed, gasping for breath. "It is too sad we shan"t see it."
"No," said Ames, suddenly serious. "Your reputation as well as my own would be harmed. Lord Jason"s
friendship has done much for me-I would not see it so betrayed."
"By such a silly thing as my using your given name?" Joanne asked dubiously.
"It would not take so much as that-a look, an action can be misinterpreted."
"But I care for you-think of you as-as a brother," she said indignantly.
"You are most gracious," the young physician smiled and decided to change the direction of their
conversation. "My lady."
"You needn"t sound so priggish." The hurt sounded in Joanne"s voice.
"Indeed, I did not mean to be," he answered, at once contrite. "It is an honour you do me in saying
such."
"Then I may call you Benjamin?"
"When no one else is about-I suppose it would do."
"You are almost worse than Lord Jason," she scolded lightly, but happy to have his friendship confirmed. "Everyone must be proper-eat correctly, speak correctly, even curtsy correctly. Sometimes I could scream."
"And most likely do," he rejoined.
Joanne swatted his hand lightly. "That is unkind."
"True-not unkind. But forgive me, my lady. I venture too far, for I am not your brother."
"Oh, how I wish you were," she sighed, suddenly sad, "for then I could seek your advice."
Ames tried to read her features in the bobbing carriage lamplight. "It would be a privilege if you would
consider me such-or at least think of me as a true friend."
"Could I?"
Her eagerness struck him and he wondered as he had often of her hunger for commendation or any sign
of affection.
"There is much you do not know of me," Joanne went on when he did not speak. "Things that I could never speak of-they would shock you."
"Then they must be from the past, which is best forgotten unless happy. You need never speak of it-tell
me what troubles you now," he urged.
There was a long silence, broken only by the sucking slop of the hooves as the horse plodded through the mud and the jingle of the harness.
At last Joanne began weakly. "It"s Lord Jason. I have been horrid to him. More than you can ever guess." Her words tumbled over one another in their haste to be spoken. "He is and has been so kind and patient and with no reason to be such. More than anyone in my life, he has done for me-and I do not know how to tell him."
"Tell him? You wish to thank him?" Ames asked somewhat confused.
"No-well, yes-but more than that. You see it was all rather nightmarish when I came to Kentoncombe and-and I thought I-that I hated him. I told him I did.
"But this night when I could do naught but dwell on my life, I realized that I love him."
Beside her the young physician smiled.
"Love him like a father, of course," Joanne continued. "What is wrong?" she asked as Ames choked and coughed. She pounded him upon the back.
"I am fine, fine now," he insisted. "You say you love Lord Jason as a father?" he asked sceptically. that old, but let us forget that.
"How do I tell him what I have discovered? At first I resolved to be absolutely good and very proper just as he would have me. I planned not to speak back-you saw how long that resolve held. I am afraid my tongue does run afoul whenever Lord Jason and I disagree," she sighed.
"Even when you agree, from what I have heard," Ames added with a low chuckle.
"Now that is too much, even for a brother," laughed Joanne, then sobered. "But how am I to tell him,
Benjamin?"
Desperately, Ames wished for time to think, time to decide what he should reveal, but Joanne stared expectantly at him. He weighed his choices and chose delay.
"In truth, I would not tell him anything. Lord Jason would be" he groped for words, "be embarra.s.sed,
shall we say. Let time wear awhile on this feeling you have discovered. Emotions oft are better aged, like wine, and let come to their fullness. There is much you can do to show your new regard for him."
"What can I do?" Joanne broke in exasperatedly.
"Why, behave for one thing." Ames forced a laugh, breaking her seriousness.