And for the first time in my life, that truly meant something. I couldn"t just overpower my sister. I would end up killing her, which I wasn"t willing to do-not even for Ash. Not even to save the world.
But the control it took to chase the destruction she tried to bring down on us was beyond me.
"Give up, half-breed," she snapped, taking a step toward me.
I tapped deeper into Spirit, feeding it into my words. "The ring, Bella, give me the d.a.m.n ring!"
She wavered, her eyes fogging long enough for me to hope that she would hand it over.
"NEVER!"
So much for that idea. Spirit flowed through me, tugging me in three different directions. I stumbled and went to one knee. The room shook and dust fell from the ceiling as I was pulled away from my connection to the earth, and Bella ripped at the Spiral without me as an obstacle. Those in the room stood, and a few cried out.
"You have to end this-now." Peta ran across the room, and leapt onto the dining table, right in front of River.
Peta looked at me, then dipped her head to River. I knew what she wanted me to do, and I was loathe to even take that measure.
"And if it doesn"t work?"
Peta had no answer, and I knew she was right. The Rim trembled as Bella and I waged a war no one else realized was happening. I had maybe a minute left before I lost control of my power and it ran away with me. I could feel it slipping with each breath I took.
I stood and bolted across the room, leapt up on the table and landed on the other side behind River. "Trust me, niece."
"What?"
I jerked her out of her seat, even as I wrapped my free arm around her neck. I scooped one of the dinner knives from the table and laid it across her throat.
"Your daughter"s life for the ring, Belladonna. Now."
Bella"s jaw dropped, River drove an elbow back into me, and I pressed hard enough with the knife to draw a thin line of blood, stilling her.
"You wouldn"t dare!" Bella snapped. "I see it in your eyes, it is a ruse."
"We have been apart a long time." My voice was deadly soft. "Perhaps you don"t know me as well as you think." I took the knife from River"s neck and drove it into her thigh, twisting it, cutting through muscle and flesh.
River screamed and convulsed against me, and I whipped the knife back up to her throat. "The ring, Belladonna. Throw it to me."
Bella stared, her eyes wide and gla.s.sy.
River sobbed. "Mother, please, give her the ring. Please don"t let her kill me."
A tiny piece of me died knowing nothing would ever change River"s view of me after this. That I would be the one who haunted her nightmares for years.
Trembling, Bella shook her head. "I-"
I dug the rough, serrated edge into River"s collarbone.
"MOTHER!"
Bella cried out, ripped the ring from her hand and threw it across to me. I let River go and caught it in mid-air.
River fell to the floor. I could heal her, but I doubted she would let me touch her. Bella ran forward, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed her daughter"s name.
River clung to her, then pushed her away. "You would trade my life on a ring."
"She would never have killed you, I-" Bella looked up and I saw my sister in her eyes. The sister I trusted. And so I told her the truth.
"If I had to, I would have."
Bella blanched. "If you had to?"
River"s blue eyes were full of fury as they turned to me and for a moment I caught a glimpse of her father in her. I shuddered with that quick reminder of Requiem and the man he was, and answered honestly. "If you had not given me the ring, would you rather I tear the Rim apart and kill many, or kill one and in your grief make you weak enough to take the ring from you?"
Bella"s mouth dropped open. "You wouldn"t have."
"Yes," I said. "I would have. I know you, Bella. But I do not think you know me any longer."
I hadn"t meant to say that, but the words slipped out. Peta sat quietly beside me. "It is the age-old mistake people make," she said, "believing those we love aren"t capable of harming us, and so we trust them."
I grimaced, Peta"s words not really helping smooth things over.
Bella called for the guards who slipped in, their heads down. Her eyes on them said it all. Where were they when the fight was going on? Where were they when they should have been protecting their queen? Even though she was in the wrong, they still should have come running to defend her.
"We didn"t know you were fighting," young Arb said.
She nodded, her eyes and face softening. "I know. That is no fault of your own. More training I think is needed. We have not had a true Ender for years." Her eyes climbed to mine, shame filling them. "Lark, what happened to me?" The unspoken question with it, what had happened to me as well? Why wasn"t I the Lark she remembered? The little sister she remembered.
"I do not think this is a good place to discuss what is going on."
River continued to glare at me through all this. "Mother, you obviously can"t trust her, she"s dangerous."
With her hand clinging to her daughter"s, Bella shook her head. "River, I do not expect you to understand. Despite what your aunt says, I don"t believe she would have hurt you."
Wisely, I kept my mouth shut. Because Bella was the one who was wrong. I knew it in my gut: the oubliette had changed me, and I wasn"t sure it was for the better.
I motioned for her to follow me. She bent and kissed River on the head. "I will see you at the healers."
"Mother, don"t do this, do not trust her. They call her the Destroyer for a reason." River clung to Bella.
Bella took River"s hand from hers and smiled. "It will be all right. Trust me, even if you do not trust Lark."
Several tears slid down River"s face. "I do not know if I can even do that." She was picked up and carried away to the healers.
If I had stabbed Bella myself, the pain in her face would not have been greater than it was with River"s words. She watched her daughter go, tiny shudders crossing her shoulders.
I turned my back. "We need to speak. Come with me."
We left the dining hall, Bella a few steps behind me. Through the Spiral I led her, down the wide halls and stairs until we were once more deep below, on the sand leading into the hot spring.
Bella put her hands on her hips. "Why here?"
I looked around. "Because everyone would expect you to speak with me in your quarters, or the throne room. If anyone is looking to listen in they will need to come through there." I pointed at the single entrance. "And Peta"s going to guard it for us."
Peta grinned up at me, then trotted up the stairs, and plunked herself down in the middle of the doorway.
"Why?"
"Because I am not the only one who is gathering the five stones." I drew a breath. "Raven is hunting them too. I need surprise on my side to get to them faster than him."
I crouched and Bella did the same, her skirt billowing out around her. "Talk to me, Lark. Tell me everything you can."
That much at least she understood. That perhaps there were things I might not be able to share.
"The stones were created by an elemental who could control the wearer." I looked straight at her. "I believe your actions to be at the wishes of this elemental. To fight me, to make it difficult to take the ring." I brushed a hand through the sand.
Bella swallowed hard and slid all the way down to the sand. "That . . . makes a wicked sort of sense. There were things I did that I didn"t want to, but when I attacked you . . . I just didn"t want you to have the ring. Even though a voice told me to give it up."
My ears all but perked up. "A voice told you to give the ring up?" Perhaps the mother G.o.ddess was helping after all.
"Yes, it was faint, but there. Of course, you see how well I listened." She snorted softly.
From the doorway, Peta spoke. "Does this really matter right now?"
She had a point. "Bella, I have to remove the stones from the other three rulers. They have had the stones, and worn them, far longer than you have. The madness that was creeping over you will be even worse with them. And I have to do it before Raven does."
She frowned. "And if you don"t?"
"The world will be destroyed. With the five stones, Raven would be strong enough to break our world." Not that I was going to tell them I had the fifth ring safely tucked away. No need to let that particular cat out of the bag.
Her hand went to her throat. "Are you sure?"
"That is what the mother G.o.ddess told me," I paused, "but even that is not the whole reason. Ash is not dead, Bella. I went to his grave. He wasn"t in it. The mother G.o.ddess will tell me where to find him."
"So you are doing this . . . for yourself? Not to save the world." Her eyes widened, surprise flitting through them.
"I"m doing this for Ash. And it"s saving the other families in the process." I bit the words out, fighting the chagrin her implication sparked in me.
"Lark, that isn"t like you-"
"You do not know me anymore," I snapped. "I am not the sister who fought for you in the Deep. I am not her. She is dead."
"Then there is only one thing to do." She stood and brushed her skirts off. "I suppose you are flying with your Pegasus to the other rulers since the armbands and the Traveling room do not work."
I stood and nodded. "Yes, I will leave immediately."
"Then I will need to change my clothes." She strode from me. "I will meet you outside the Spiral in an hour."
Oh no, this was not happening. "You aren"t coming with me, and even if you were, an hour is too long."
She spun, her eyes flas.h.i.+ng. "Am I your queen? Or did you change your vows to serve and obey me when I was handed the throne?"
Lips pressed tightly, I forced myself to nod. "You are my queen."
"Then I will go with you to visit my fellow rulers. You need my help, Lark. That much is evident. It will make a good cover for you that you are there to be my Ender as you have been in the past."
I snorted. "I am strong enough."
"It is not your strength I question, sister, but your heart."
Her words were like an arrow piercing my chest. She strode across the sand and up the stairs.
Peta let her go by and then she mewed softly at me, but I barely heard her.
Bella thought she could change the past; that she could draw me out from the dark places I"d receded into. I did not want to hurt her, but I knew disappointment was coming for her if she continued to believe she could save the part of me that was dead and gone.
Moving slowly, I climbed the steps, holding my hands out for Peta. She leapt up to me and curled herself around my neck. "Peta, how can I make her see that it is better to be this way? To be hard and not weak? That weakness is what has brought me to the brink of death time and again. It"s what landed me in the oubliette both times. Hesitation."
She purred softly, the sound vibrating along my skin. "It is good to be strong, Lark, to know your weaknesses and conquer them. But to be hard is a dangerous thing; hard can be broken and shattered. Let her come with you. I think it"s a good thing to have her at your side."
I made my way up the stairs, lost in my thoughts, so much so that I didn"t notice Red until he hovered in front of my face, his feathers brus.h.i.+ng against my cheeks.
Startled, I stepped back, my hand going for my spear. The ground shuddered and the Spiral groaned like a wounded animal.
"Peta, go to Bella. Make sure she"s safe." Peta bolted up the stairs, s.h.i.+fting into her leopard form between leaps.
Red hovered in front of me, and I held my arm out for him to land. His talons dug into my forearm and I put a hand on his back. His entire body trembled. "What is it?"
"Lark, your father is out of control, the madness has seized him completely. You have to end this. You are the only one with the training to do it."
Not stop him, but to end this.
I had to be an Ender for the Rim and take my father"s life.
CHAPTER 8.
bolted through the Spiral. Red launched into the air, leading me out the main doors.
"He"s attacking people and no one will stop him. They"re afraid because he was the king." The panic in Red"s voice was obvious.
"Red, you know-"