The Emperor's System

Ding! Sudden mission from the System"s guide, poison the entire royal family with laxatives!

Reward- Random Dragon Egg!

Nick was determined to clog all the royal palace toilets!

The General, who was about to get physical immediately stopped in his tracks. What just happened, did he win? Why couldn"t he understand what was going on? And why was he actually feeling happy for being promoted, it wasn"t even a real demotion in the first place!

"Congratulations General!!" The bald man said sincerely.

"Wow so powerful! The man just demoted then promoted the General back! How powerful is this man?!!" The crowd was shocked. Especially the Commoners and low-level cultivators that didn"t know the inner workings of the palace. To them Nick wasn"t just spouting rubbish, he was wielding incredible political power!

+10 domineering points!

+5 domineering points!

+7 domineering points!

+5 domineering points!

"All hail the one true Emperor of Nova!!!" Suddenly a sharp shriek was heard, immediately dampening the lively atmosphere.

Then, shrouded by majestic golden light a figure descended, hair waving through the air as his powerful cultivation released a terrifying pressure showing the might of an Emperor!

Nick could tell with one glance that the man was overcompensating, why the showy entrance? Of course, it was to gain back the face he lost earlier!

"I the Emperor, heard that someone impersonated me today and ruined my image by....on the street! I now command that coward to step forth and feel my wrath!!" The Emperor roared out.

Silence! Everyone just stared at the Emperor in pity, wasn"t this the same thing as farting in a crowd and blaming it on one"s shoes? Does this Emperor intend on using this excuse to get out of this embarra.s.sing situation?

Nick, who had received the reward from the system earlier knew that the Emperor was lying through his teeth! Impersonating my a.s.s, just by the weird way the Emperor was walking right now one could see through his lie.

"I knew it! How could our awe-inspiring Emperor do such a thing? This is obviously a plot by the other Empires to ruin our Emperor"s glorious image!"

"You said it brother, I had once been lucky enough to grace the presence of his Majesty"s b.u.t.t, and I swear it was a b.u.t.t of gold, how could it compare to that ugly one from before?!"

"I know what you mean, once by chance, a lowly commoner sneaked into the palace in search of energy stones. The poor commoner searched everywhere but couldn"t find any, finally, just as he was about to give up, he happened to pa.s.s by the Imperial toilet!"

"Curious the commoner walked in, but as he looked inside the toilet he was terrified to find that it was filled with energy stones!! Our Emperor doesn"t fling brown s.h.i.+t like everybody else, his a.s.s is to busy s.h.i.+ting out Energy stones for that!!"

The Generals by the Emperor"s side began to tell some stories to support the Emperor"s fairy tail!

"Wow!! A person that s.h.i.+ts Energy stones, must be uncomfortable!" Nick who was in the middle of a crowd used the disguise skill to change only his voice as he said that!

"Which f.u.c.ker said that? I will f.u.c.king kill you, step out and speak like a man!" Nick said, but now in his own voice!

All the Generals as well as the Emperor all nodded in approval of Nick before they began searching through the crowd to locate the source of the voice!

"Emperor, please show me a demostration! s.h.i.+t out energy stones so that the nonbelievers can believe!!" Nick, who was now in different crowd roared out again in a different voice!

"Little f.u.c.ker, I"ve almost got you now, where are you, come out for this daddy here! Who are you to ask the Emperor to s.h.i.+t?!! The Emperor"s b.u.t.t is made of gold...apparently, how could someone of you"re lowly position dare dream of looking at it!" Nick hollered out, now in his own voice.

The Generals then flooded into the Crowd Nick was in, they were determined to find the disrespectful a.s.shole!

Nick then unleashed his death monger skill to create a clone of himself, then the clone upon receiving Nick"s mental command used the disguise Skill to change its appearance and headed into a different crowd.

"Do you s.h.i.+t them out one at a time, or do they come out in piles? Does it affect the way you sit? Does it hurt? Is that why your wife married you? Can your children do it too? Did your ancestors become Emperors by using this sacred ability? Have you ever used your golden b.u.t.t to attack someone? Do your farts also have unique powers?"The clone rained out questions before disappearing into nothing.

This was why the Death Monger skill was so powerful, not only does it allow Nick to detonate his clones, but he can also make them disappear by turning them back to their energy form!

So, after Nick had asked all those important questions, how could he not then answer them?

"You little f.u.c.ker! Of course, our Emperor does it big, he s.h.i.+ts them out in piles okay? No, it doesn"t affect the way he sits, because his throne is custom made for him! It only hurts sometimes, depending on the weather! Did his wife marry him because of this special ability? Maybe, you"ll have to ask his wife you b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"

"Can his children do it too? Of course, it"s hereditary! And no, his ancestors only used their abilities for good, they never used it to gain power! yes, but the golden b.u.t.t won"t attack unless its provoked!! Yes, his farts also have a special ability, they can come out silently!"

Nick was having so much fun exposing the "truth". Wasn"t this what being patriotic was all about?

"Okay brother, that"s enough I think everyone gets it now!" One of the Generals came behind Nick and grabbed him. They couldn"t let this loudmouth go on like this any longer! This man had probably insulted the Emperor more than the one hiding in the crowds!

But, because Nick was doing it out of what seemed to be righteousness, they couldn"t really do or say anything to him!

Nick then squirmed out of the General"s hands and ran over to the Emperor, as he looked at him in antic.i.p.ation. His meaning was clear, praise me!

"You...good." The Emperor though reluctantly then gave Nick one slightly vague praise, before he got into position to fly away! Today he had come to clear the disgrace from his name, but instead, he ended up making a bigger stain that will probably lead to tons of rumors to surface later!

And it was all the fault of those Generals! Who asked for their help? He had rehea.r.s.ed the perfect lie all the way over here, but those little b.a.s.t.a.r.ds actually ruined it all by trying to help!

"Here! Take this token, with it you will be granted access to the palace! I will go and inform the palace so that they can make your position official, you will receive your own ident.i.ty token a few days later!" The general who had given Nick the Head chef position said as he threw a tiny metal token towards Nick!

"Oh, what benefits does this trashy token hold?" Nick asked as he stared scornfully at the token. But if the general had asked him to return the token right that instant, he still wouldn"t do it, he was bluffing, even if this tiny token could only grant him access to the palace it still would be incredibly useful!

"Hmph, what does a mere cook like you know? This token can not only grant you access to the palace, but it also gives you free rain in the city! Most rules won"t even apply to the holder of the token!" The General was unwilling to let some lowly chef look down on his cute little token so he replied in an arrogant tone!

Nick looked at the General as if he was staring at a beggar, then with a look of extreme reluctance stuffed that thing into his pocket, as if he was doing the General a huge favor by accepting the token.

The General who wanted nothing more than to strangle the little a.s.shole walked away in rage!

"Brother, there has never been someone I admire more in my life! Someone that could stand up for his Emperor like that must be someone of great courage and character! I will always remember brother"s cooki...cough n.o.ble words!" The bald man bowed slightly to Nick before he turned to leave.

"It"s nothing brother monk, I would have kept on defending the Emperor if it wasn"t for that so-called General interrupting me, sigh, it"s too bad." Nick said regretfully.

The bald man twitched a little, if that so-called General didn"t interrupt you...the Emperor"s sword would have! And also, why do you still call me monk?!! Didn"t we establish that I"m from a bald secret forces unit?!! Unable to swallow being called bald every time, he asked Nick why he stilled called him that.

"Oh, I was saying that to keep your ident.i.ty a secret, we wouldn"t want the people around here getting suspicious now do we?" After saying this Nick went back to the carriage to rest, today was just too tiring, he had exposed to many secrets, he needed to rest his little head.

The bold man was just destined to remain nameless in Nick"s book!