The English Spy

Chapter 38

ENGRAVINGS ON WOOD.

1. The Gate House, Highgate, Citizens toiling up the Hill to the Sunday Ordinary 109

2. A Lame Duck waddling out of the Stock Exchange 139

3. The Dandy Candy Man, a Cheltenham Vignette 283

4. The Floating Harbour and Welsh Back, Bristol. 292

5. Bath Market-place, with Portraits of the celebrated Orange Women 295

6. The Sporting Club at the Castle Tavern. Portraits of Choice Spirits 300

7. The Battle of the Chairs 306

8. Vignette. Portraits of Blackmantle the English Spy, and Transit 343

THE ENGLISH SPY.

Nor rank, nor order, nor condition, Imperial, lowly, or patrician, Shall, when they see this volume, cry, "The satirist has pa.s.s"d us by:"

But, with good humour, view our page Depict the manners of the age.

Vide Work.

INTRODUCTION TO THE SECOND VOLUME.

BERNARD BLACKMANTLE TO THE PUBLIC.

"The Muse"s office was by Heaven design"d To please, improve, instruct, reform mankind."

--Churchill.

Readers!--friends, I may say, for your flattering support has enabled me to continue my Sketches of Society to a second volume with that prospect of advantage to all concerned which makes labour delightful--accept this fresh offering of an eccentric, but grateful mind, to that shrine where alone he feels he owes any submission--the tribunal of Public Opinion.

In starting for the goal of my ambition, the prize of your approbation, I have purposely avoided the beaten track of other periodical writers, choosing for my subjects scenes and characters of real life, transactions of our own times, _characteristic, satirical, and humorous_, confined to no particular place, and carefully avoiding every thing like personal ill-nature or party feeling. My a.s.sociates, the Artists and Publishers, are not less anxious than myself to acknowledge their grat.i.tude; and we intend to prove, by our united endeavours, how highly we appreciate the extensive patronage we have already obtained.

BERNARD BLACKMANTLE,

ODE, CONGRATULATORY AND ADVISIORY,

TO BERNARD BLACKMANTLE, ESQ.

ON THE COMPLETION OF HIS FIRST VOLUME OF THE SPY.

"I smell a rat."--Book of Common Parlance.

"More sinned against than sinning."--William Shakspeare.

"The very _Spy_ o" the time."--Ibid.

Well done, my lad, you"ve run on strong Amidst the bustle of life"s throng, Nor thrown a _spavin_ yet; You"ve gone at score, your pace has told; I hope, my boy, your wind will hold-- You"ve others yet to fret.

You"ve told the town that you are _fly_ To cant, and rant, and trickery; And that whene"er you doze, Like Bristol men, you never keep But one eye closed--so you can tweak E"en then a scoundrel"s nose.

Pull up, and rinse your mouth a bit; It is hot work, this race of wit, And sets the bellows piping; Next Vol. you"ll grind _the flats_ again, And file the _sharps_ unto the grain, Their very stomachs griping.

~6~~

But why, good Bernard, do you dream That we Reviewers scorn the cream{1} Arising from your jokes?

Upon my soul, we love some fun As well as any "neath the sun, Although we fight in cloaks.

Heav"n help thee, boy, we are not they Who only go to d.a.m.n a play, And cackle in the pit; Like good Sir William Curtis{2} we Can laugh at _nous_ and drollery, Though of ourselves "twere writ.

Was yours but sky blue milk and water, We"d hand you over to the slaughter Of cow committee-men{3}; For b.u.t.terflies, and "such small deer,"

Are much beneath our potent spear-- The sharp gray goose-wing"d pen.

1 See my friend Bernard"s _cracker_ to the reviewers in No.

12, a perfect fifth of November bit of _firework_, I can a.s.sure you, good people. But it won"t go off with me without a brand from the bonfire in return. "Bear this bear all."

2 Have you ever dared the "salt sea ocean," my readers, with the alderman admiral? If not, know that he has as pretty a collection of caricatures in his cabin, and all against his own sweet self, as need be wished to heal sea-sickness. Is not this magnanimity? I think so. The baronet is really "a worthy gentleman."

3 Vide advertis.e.m.e.nts of "Alderney Milk Company." What company shall we keep next, my masters? Mining companies, or steam brick companies, or washing companies? How many of them will be in the suds anon? Pshaw! throw physic to the projectors--I prefer strong beer well hopped.

But yours we feel is sterner stuff, And though perchance _too much in huff_, _More natural_ you will swear; It really shows such game and pluck, That we could take with you "pot luck,"

And deem it decent fare.

But, "pon our _conscience_, bonny lad, (We"ve got _some_, boy), it is too bad So fiercely to show fight; Gadzooks, "tis time when comes the foe To strip and sport a word and blow, My dear pugnacious wight!

"Tis very wise, T own, to pull Fast by the horns some b.u.t.ting bull, When "gainst yourself he flies; But to attack that st.u.r.dy beast, When he"s no thoughts on you to feast, Is very _otherwise_.

But we"ll forgive your paper b.a.l.l.s, Which on our jackets hurtless falls,

Like hail upon a tower: Pray put wet blankets on your ire; Really, good sir, we"ve no desire To blight so smart a flower.

Well, then, I see no reason why There should be war, good Mister Spy So, faith! we"ll be allies; And if we must have fights and frays, We"ll shoot at pride and poppinjays,

And folly as it flies.

There"s field enough for both to _beat_ Employment for our hands, eyes, feet, To mark the quarry down, _Black game_ and white game a full crop, Fine birds, fine feathers for to lop, In country and in town.

~8~~

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