"She is a good girl as ever lived," said Mrs. Goodwin, "and I hope will never have a heartache that may harm her."
"Heaven knows, madam," replied Woodward, "it is time only that will tell that. Love is a strange and sometimes rather a painful malady."
"Of course you speak from your own experience, Mr. Woodward," replied Alice.
"Then you have had the complaint, sir," said O"Connor, laughing. "I wonder is it like small-pox or measles?"
"How is that, sir?" said Woodward, smiling.
"Why, that if you"ve had it once you"ll never have it a second time."
"Yes, but if I should be ill of it now?" and he glanced at Alice, who blushed.
"Why, in that case," replied O"Connor, "it"s in bed you ought to be; no man with an epidemic on him should be permitted to go abroad among his majesty"s liege subjects."
"Yes, Ferdora," said Alice, "but I don"t think Mr. Woodward"s complaint is catching."
"G.o.d forbid that the gentleman should die of it, though," replied Ferdora, "for that would be a serious loss to the ladies."
"You exaggerate that calamity, sir," replied Woodward, with the slightest imaginable sneer, "and forget that if I die you survive me."
"Well, certainly, there is consolation in that," said O"Connor, "especially for the ladies, as I said; isn"t there, Alley?"
"Certainly," replied Alice; "in making love, Ferdora, you have the prowess of ten men."
"Do you speak from experience, now, Miss Goodwin?" asked Woodward, rather dryly.
"O! no," replied Alice, "I have only his own word for it."
"Only his own word. Miss Goodwin! Do you imply by that, that his own word requires corroboration?"
Alice blushed again, and felt confused.
"I a.s.sure you, Mr. Woodward," said O"Connor, "that when my word requires corroboration, I always corroborate it myself."
"But, according to Miss Goodwin"s account of it, sir, that"s not likely to add much to its authenticity."
"Well, Mr. Woodward," said O"Connor, with the greatest suavity of manner, "I"ll tell you my method under such circ.u.mstances; whenever I meet a gentleman that doubts my word, I always make him eat his onion.
"There"s nothing new or wonderful in that," replied the other; "it has been my own practice during life."
"What? to eat your own words!" exclaimed O"Connor, purposely mistaking him; "very windy feeding, faith. Upon my honor and conscience, in that case, your complaint must be nothing else but the colic, and not love at all. Try peppermint wather, Mr. Woodward."
Alice saw at once, but could not account for the fact, that the worthy gentlemen were cutting at each other, and the timid girl became insensibly alarmed at the unaccountable sharpness of their brief encounter. She looked with an anxious countenance, first at one, and then at the other, but scarcely knew what to say. Woodward, however, who was better acquainted with the usages of society, and the deference due to the presence of women, than the brusque, but somewhat fiery Milesian, now said, with a smile and a bow to that gentleman:
"Sir, I submit; I am vanquished. If you are as successful in love as you are in banter, I should not wish to enter the list against you.
"Faith, sir," replied O"Connor, with a poor-humored laugh, "if your sword is as sharp as your wit, you"d be an ugly customer to meet in a quarrel."
O"Connor, who had been there for some time, now rose to take his leave, at which Alice felt rather satisfied. Indeed, she could not avoid observing that, whatever the cause of it might be, there seemed to exist some secret feeling of dislike between them, which occasioned her no inconsiderable apprehension. O"Connor she knew was kind-hearted and generous, but, at the same time, as quick as gunpowder in taking and resenting an insult. On the other hand, she certainly felt much regret at being subjected to the presence of Woodward, against whom she entertained, as the reader knows, a strong feeling that amounted absolutely to aversion. She could not, however, think of treating him with anything bordering on disrespect, especially in her own house, and she, consequently, was about to say something merely calculated to pa.s.s the time. In this, however, she was antic.i.p.ated by Woodward, who, as he had his suspicions of O"Connor, resolved to sound her on the subject.
"That seems an agreeable young fellow," said he; "somewhat free and easy in his deportment."
"Take care, Mr. Woodward," said her mother, "say nothing harsh against Ferdora, if you wish to keep on good terms with Alley. He"s the white-headed boy with her."
"I am not surprised at that, madam," he replied, "possessed as he is of such a rare and fortunate quality."
"Pray, what is that, Mr. Woodward?" asked Alice, timidly.
"Why, the faculty of making love with the power of ten men," he replied.
"You must be a very serious man," she replied.
"Serious, Miss Goodwin! Why do you think so?"
"I hope you are not in the habit of receiving a jest as a matter of fact."
"Not," he replied, "if I could satisfy myself that there was no fact in the jest; but, indeed, in this world, Miss Goodwin, it is very difficult to distinguish jest from earnest."
"I am a bad reasoner, Mr. Woodward," she replied.
"But, perhaps, Miss Goodwin, Mr. O"Connor would say that you make up in feeling what you want in logic."
"I hope, sir," replied Alice, with some spirit--for she felt hurt at his last observation--"that I will never feel on any subject until I have reason as well as inclination to support me."
"Ah," said he, "I fear that if you once possess the inclination you will soon supply the reason. But, by the way, talking of your friend and favorite, Mr. O"Connor, I must say I like him very much, and I am, not surprised that you do."
"I do, indeed," she replied; "I know of n.o.body I like better than honest, frank, and generous Ferdora."
"Well, Miss Goodwin, I a.s.sure you he shall be a favorite of mine for your sake."
"Indeed, Mr. Woodward, if you knew him, he would become one for his own."
"Have you known him long, may I ask, Miss Goodwin?"
"O dear, yes," said Mrs. Goodwin, who now, finding this a fair opening in the conversation, resolved to have her share of it--"O dear! yes; Alley and he know each other ever since her childhood; he"s some three or four years older than she is, to be sure, but that makes little difference."
"And, I suppose, Mrs. Goodwin, their intimacy--perhaps I may say attachment--has the sanction of their respective families?"
"G.o.d bless you, sir, to be sure it has--are they not distantly related?"
"That, indeed, is a very usual proceeding among families," observed Woodward; "the boy and girl are thrown together, and desired to look upon each other as destined to become husband and wife; they accordingly do so, fall in love, are married, and soon find themselves--miserable; in fact, these matches seldom turn out well."
"But there is no risk of that here," replied Alice.
"I sincerely hope not, Miss Goodwin. In your case, unless the husband was a fool, or a madman, or a villain, there must be happiness. Of course you will be happy with him; need I say," and here he sighed, "that he at least ought to be so with you?"
"Upon my word, Mr. Woodward," replied Alice, smiling, "you are a much cleverer man than I presume your own modesty ever permitted you to suspect."