The Fading Away of Our Youth (So Young)

Part 2 Chapter 6

Was there any other bridesmaid like Zheng Wei. When the bride entered the marriage hall to the wedding march walking towards the red carpet, and she stood behind the bride, she felt an upsurge of emotion, her eyes became moist. Could there be a prettier bride than Ruan Ruan? The friends and relatives there were all full of praise towards young people, but only Zheng Wei felt that he was too lucky. He only met her six times, and married the world’s best woman.

It was a normal wedding. The two people did not love extravagance. They had only invited some of their friends. Ruan RUan was dressed in white gauze, lightly smiling towards the groom. He was not Zhao Yu Yong. At that year, the her who had always wanted to keep her feelings, had she ever thought there would be today? When she loved, she thought that was her own life, but unexpectedly she woke up and stood at another person’s side.

Ruan Ruan gave an invitation to Yu Yong, he didn’t come. Their love of six years had lost to someone she had only met six times. Fate had its own plans. But no matter what, as long as Ruan Ruan was happy, anything was worth it, in Zheng Wei’s heart. No one matched the happiness in front of her more than Ruan Ruan.

The ceremonial master asked, Miss Ruan Guan, are you willing to marry Mr. Wu Jiang and become his wife, loving him for your whole life, accompanying him……

Ruan Ruan said, “I am willing.”

Her voice had just fallen when a sob suddenly emerged. Everyone noticed that the bridesmaid’s face was full of tears. Zheng Wei was really the world’s most failed bridesmaid. On her best friend’s marriage, she finally couldn’t stop crying. Only Ruan Ruan understood her. She looked at Zheng Wei, with a brilliant smile, as if using the smile to tell her, she could also be happy.

There was a new toast. The Zheng Wei who had repaired her clothing followed the new couple with the best man. The bridesmaid and the best man were both the new focus  of attention. Especially, the 1000s of bridesmaids that stood by the maid of honor. If this night had starlight, it was only feared that it would lose its color. Facing the laughter of the crowd and persuasions to drink wine, Zheng Wei didn’t refuse and even took on Ruan Ruan’s part.

When they were in private,  Ruan Ruan instructed into her ear, “Don’t drink anymore, take it easy.”

She only laughed, “I haven’t been so happy in a long time. What is it today? I can get drunk but you cannot get drunk.”

After ten or so tables, the her who had such a good alcoholic intake couldn’t help but become drunk. The next table was the bride’s husband’s friend. Wu Jiang introduced them one by one, “These few people are my general surgery colleagues, this is “XX Daily” ‘s editor……and this person is XX District’s People’s Procuratorate Deputy attorney…..”

When he introduced the pure, standing man next to him, the man beside him turned and smiled towards the bride. Then his eyes steadily turned to the person behind the bride.

“Right, his surname is Lin, called Lin……”

Zheng Wei interrupted Wu Jiang’s good intentioned introduction, she said, “Lin Jing, you’ve been gone for seven years, are you unscarred?”

Lin Jing smiled and toasted her, “How are you, Small Flying Dragon.”

How are you, Small Flying Dragon? He was the first person in this world to call her like this. When she was young she accompanied him into the gardens to play hide and seek. He was afraid she would cry if she couldn’t find him so from then on, he would never hide too hidden away. Once she grabbed his clothes and giggled, he would always purposely say, “How are you, Small Flying Dragon.”

If she was the 17-year-old Zheng Wei, she would choose to forget everything in this moment, and immediately rush into Lin Jing’s arms and cry. But she was 25 years old this year. He had played hide and seek with her for seven years. This time, he hid too far, and she thought she would never find him ever again in this lifetime.

“I’m good.” The 25-year-old Zheng Wei said.

“You guys know each other?” Wu Jiang was stunned.

Lin Jing laughed: “When she was one year old, I was already holding her in my embrace. Do you think we know each other?”

Zheng Wei also half joked, “It’s true. In the past, we were so close to each other that I thought I could marry him when I grew up.”

When people heard of this great thing they all began to boo. They called that such friendship was surely worth a drink. Zheng Wei did not hesitate to fill her wine up to the brim, and raised it in front of Lin Jing. Lin Jing stared at her steadily, smiled and nodded his head, clinking gla.s.ses with Zheng Wei. After he finished all the wine, he reached out his hand to took the gla.s.s that Zheng Wei’s lips touched and drained it in front of everyone’s faces.

Everyone immediately applauded. Everyone was all laughing that Prosecutor Lin could actually have such tender, protective feelings for the other s.e.x, but this followed with more questions on why they had met a long time ago and had not seen each other for a long time.

Zheng Wei replied: “How are you doing accurate things when you are young? After you grow up, you are bound to separate, going after your own things.”

Her Lin Jing had already left and never returned when she was 17 years old. Maybe her heart would forever have his shadow, but the person in front of her now was a strange man.

When the bride was about to throw the bouquet of flowers, the unruffled Zheng Wei stood in a corner. The eccentric Ruan Ruan saw her position, turned around and sent the flowers flying towards her. When the bouquet came to her, Zheng Wei recovered her senses and instinctively tried to seize it. In the end, she was slow by a step, and only grabbed a piece of the pink petal. Instantly, the bouquet hit the ground.

Wu Jiang worked in a hospital in G City. After Ruan Ruan married her husband, she quit her work at S City, and accompanied her husband. This was maybe the best news Zheng Wei had heard. At the end of the wedding, the bridal guests had all had their fun and when they left it was deep into the night. Ruan Ruan sent them out, and she said: “Inspector Lin, why don’t you help me send Wei Wei home.”

Zheng Wei immediately waved her hands, “No need, no need. It is easy to get a taxi downstairs.”

Lin Jing smiled to Ruan Ruan, “Don’t worry, hand it to me. Bye, have a happy wedding!” He turned and naturally carried Zheng Wei’s bag in his hands, “Let’s go, my car is just downstairs.”

On the whole way, Zheng Wei felt the car window get lower and lower. The wind came in, and blew onto her face, making it red. She began to look outside the window, the music in the radio fragmented.

Lin Jing drove the car without distractions, and silently drove to Zhong Jian’s compound. Zheng Wei forgot to ask him how he knew she lived here.

“I’ll get off at the entrance.” Zheng Wei pulled her messy hair behind her. “Thank you so much for sending me back.”

Lin Jing didn’t reply to her courtesy, “Which building do you live in? I’ll send you up.”

“No, no need, I can just go in myself.”

“Which building do you live in?”

Inexplicably, she began to get angry, “I said I don’t need it! People will misunderstand if I am sent home by a guy in the middle of the night.”

Lin Jing put his hand on the steering wheel, saying, “Sure enough, you are still mad at me.”

Zheng Wei put her head to the side, pretending to be looking out the window. She didn’t acknowledge it because he was right. How many nights had it been, she felt she could understand Lin Jing, she forgave his departure, but the day that they really met, her heart still had resentment. People all had their own imagination. At that time when Lin Jing left, he had only brought her first crush with him, and he had also brought away her most trust person. She found that she was ashamed to blame him for the bleakness of his later loss, even though it was obviously not his fault.

“I have also been mad at myself before, but at that time I couldn’t think through it so I could only leave. Yes, or I shouldn’t have, but who is a saint? Who cannot face escape and not take it. You also know, I used to think my parents were the happiest pair, and my family used to bring you warmth and I used to feel proud, but it turned out everything was fake.”

Zheng Wei laughed, her voice choked, “You fled for seven years.” It was seven years. He had not sent her a letter or called her even once.

“I thought you were happy.”

“I am happy, so you can continue to disappear.”

Lin Jing was silent for a long time. He said, “I have never liked to do things that do not make sense. When I return to China, I called you, but since you were happy, I should leave more. Maybe it was my wrong, but I will no longer be wrong.”

Zheng Wei opened the door to leave decisively. She kept going forward. She didn’t hear the sound of Lin Jing beginning the car, but she refused to turn around. When it was early in the morning, she felt strangely thirsty and got up to pour herself a cup of boiled water. She didn’t turn on the light and drank a sip of water so when a light came on outside the window she froze. When she put down the cup, and opened the light of the room, she began to frantically search. She began to regret why she had hidden it so deeply.

One of the walls was banged and Wei Shao Yi was awakened by the noise. She knocked on her door and complained: “Zheng Wei what are you doing in the middle of the night? Are you letting people sleep or not?”

Zheng Wei’s movement continued. She only turned and said, “A while ago when He Yi was crazily singing to you in the middle of the night, what did I say?”

Wei Shao Yi was suddenly speechless, and hatefully went back to her room. After the whole room was messy, Zheng Wei finally got a luggage from the school and found everything she wanted.

She opened that small iron box, and took out the diploma and degree certificate out. Two young innocent smiles lasting seven years laid in front of her just like that. She opened that one and began to take the lightly yellowed picture, using her finger to wipe at the dust, the young boy’s smile in the picture began to become more and more obvious. His expression was warm, this was her Lin Jing. She must see it a little now, because when she was dazed, she suddenly couldn’t remember what the 22 year old Lin Jing looked like before. The man that had just sent her home with generous shoulders, a pensive smile, his chin and two cheeks were sc.r.a.ped clean although there was still some stubble. Although he looked so extraordinary, graceful, and light, she couldn’t find her old intimate attachment. The him in her eyes, had his appearance also changed long ago? The time she could not wipe away was the dust that had been wiped onto their faces.

Lin Jing’s last sentence continued to circle in her mind. As she continued to think, she felt more and more impatient. She had not had this feeling for a long time. Was it that he was trying to say something in his words, or that she had guessed it wrongly again?

It hadn’t pa.s.sed two days when a call to her office vaguely confirmed her guess.

“h.e.l.lo, this is the Zhong Jian Er Fen Office.” When she picked up the phone, she immediately blurted out the words.At that side a familiar and yet strange laugh made her look at Zhou Qu’s office, and immediately lower her voice, “How do you know my work phone?” After she asked, she felt this question was not meaningful. He was a procurator in the same city as Zhong Jian Er Feng company. To the public security department and the government departments everyone’s phone number was handy.

“That day you were too anxious. You left your phone number here.” Lin Jing was in a good mood, his voice brought a bit of pleasure.

“Right now is my work hours.” Zheng Wei wasn’t as interested as he was.

Lin Jing said, “Mm, you are pretty focused when you work. So now I don’t want to disrupt you. If there is anything else, you can say it after work. I’ll come pick you up or do you want to make an appointment at a restaurant?”

Zheng Wei was aghast and laughed, “When did I say I would eat with you?”

His voice was warm, “You always need to eat, so just take it as I am accompanying you. I have had a lot of social networking recently, and haven’t had the time to eat a good meal. I feel my stomach isn’t very comfortable. You know any lighter restaurants nearby?”

Zheng Wei’s heart almost softened. His previous diet used to be the law, and when it wasn’t normal, his stomach would hurt. But she still hardened her heart and said: “Stomach pain, stomach acid, stomach blating, find Stacy. Tonight I have to……”

“Working overtime right?” He seemed to have expected her to have said this and laughed, “Don’t worry, work is heavy, what time do you need to work until. I will come to pick you up. Right, your manager is Zhou Qu right? When he was in the Market Department, we ate together before. What about I wait for you while taking the opportunity to visit him…..”

“There’s no need. I suddenly feel like I can do it tomorrow morning too.” Going with the wind had always been Zheng Wei’s strength.

Lin Jing laughed again, “Then work well. After work I will wait for you in the corner of your intersection. Come over after you finish working. I have time tonight, so waiting a bit does not matter.”

Zheng Wei put down the phone, cursing herself for being so unpromising. Why was it that she had dazedly agreed to him. Then she turned her thoughts around and thought, it wasn’t her military incompetence but that her enemy was too cunning, making her fall for it unconsciously.

Even though she knew that in the door across from them, the Zhou Qu inside couldn’t hear what she just said, she still guiltily looked over. That door was closed. Beginning from the afternoon, Zhou Qu’s face was a little spiritless. She had been by his side for three years and deeply knew that he had definitely met a dangerous lightening bolt. Not too long before this, the financial head had walked in, without bothering about her. His nose touched ashes* and he came out. Even though she didn’t know who had the guts to make Zhou Qu mad, the meaning of Zhou Qu’s closed door was “Don’t bother me”. She didn’t want to know why he was mad unless she had to. The farther away she was, the better.

When she was preparing to get off work, Zheng Wei had already organized her belongings beforehand. Suddenly she head the sound of shattering followed by a loud noise. Under such circ.u.mstances, she walked over hesitantly. She was worried that Zhou Qu had enclosed himself for the whole afternoon doing whatnot, and only knocked on the door, “Leader, are you all right?”

Inside became quiet. Zheng Wei was a little anxious and knocked on the door again but there was no reaction so she burst inside the room forcibly, biting the bullet*.

The door opened. Zhou Qu’s whole body was in a leather chair, the desktop was messy, files scattered everywhere. His cup’s shattered pieces were on the floor. Zheng Wei’s heart secretly cried. If you want to vent then vent, but why do you have to throw things. Throwing things is just throwing things but why does it just have to be a cup. He was cool, and could only pity her, the person who would clean up the mess.

“Leader, you’re okay right?” Besides calling him “Manager Zhou”, in private, she would call him “Leader”, and he let her do whatever.

Zhou Qu tiredly rubbed his forehead, “Zheng Wei, help me pick up those doc.u.ments.”

When she obediently cleaned up the scattered paper, according to her fate, she accidentally saw the the most eye catching one. That was an anonymous letter to the former Er Fen manager. Right now, Er Fen had three production companies- one of them was Sheng Tong. Zheng Wei saw this and immediately retracted her line of sight, but she still couldn’t help it and stole another look. When she saw that he didn’t care, that was acquiescence , and she flipped it over to look at it. Besides the letter there were also letters from Zhou Qu to Sheng Tong about the financial file. Zheng Wei is not proficient in this regard, but after reading  she was still secretly scared. For all the large state-owned enterprises, the three subordinate companies were an embarra.s.sing and contradictory existence, on one hand the rigid mechanisms of state-owned enterprises and the need for the welfare of the workers were important. Plus, since they were owned by the state enterprises, the tertiary industry in the state-owned a.s.sets focused on standardizing the management and was a sensitive issue. This was a little less likely to poke out a big loophole, and drag out the whole company. However, it is clear that Feng De Sheng is not a very cautious person. Even though we all know many things are unspoken rules, he did not care for this and made it ugly, creating loopholes again and again, extremely rampant.

TL: Um basically above…Feng De Sheng is trying to steal the management of Er Fen and he is from Sheng Tong, one of the companies that is subordinate to Er Fen. There are three companies that Er Fen is in charge of and Sheng Tong is one of them.

“Leader, this……” Zheng Wei put the organized doc.u.ments on Zhou Qu’s table. She understood the reason why Zhou Qu was furious. She could not help but worry, but even though Sheng Tong was the name of an independent legal ent.i.ty, it was really under the jurisdiction of Er Fen. Feng De Sheng was on staff at Zhong Jian. To feel Er Fen’s mid-level treatment; his actions would make Zhou Qu get involved. If he didn’t handle it well it would be hard to resolve himself of his relationship with the situation.

Of course Zhou Qu understood Zheng Wei’s meaning. He sighed, “Lao Feng is already of age. So disappointing. But saying this to the end, the year when I was just chosen into Zhong Jian it was the small technician on site who helped me many times. Without him there would be no me of today. I keep that in mind.”

“But…..”

“You may go, as long as you know this in your heart it is okay. I will take care of it well.”

Zheng Wei sat in a clean j.a.panese restaurant, her heart full of heavy thoughts. Why was the adult world so ugly, unbearable, helpless.

“What are you thinking about?” Lin Jing put her favorite tempura in her bowl.

Zheng Wei used her chopsticks to play around with the food in her bowl. She felt she should still be more straightforward and said, “Lin Jing, why did you come find me?”

Lin Jing’s mouth was full of sake, and he slowly put down his cup, “Wei Wei, what do you think?”

Zheng Wei gave a self-deprecating smile, “Unless you are saying right now, you just began to regret leaving and want us to return to the days we had before?”

“Are you unwilling?”

“Lin Jing if I didn’t remember incorrectly, you have been in the United States for nearly four years, and returned to China for three years. In this time you had multiple opportunities, to easily find me, but in these seven years, you have never given me half a sound.”

She was still the same as before. When she spoke she would not beat around the bush.

Lin Jing said, “I know you will think like this. Wei Wei, actually I don’t have your bravery–many people are like me, not having your bravery by such a big fraction. We are afraid we cannot solve the disputes, afraid that after we pay everything there is no return, afraid of things that we do not know about, and more afraid that we will no longer get what we want. When I was in America, I didn’t have a guarantee that I could forget what happened at home, I had no guarantee that I would be able to be together with you just like before; later I returned, my father died. At that time, I couldn’t help but call you and find you. Your dormmate said you went out with your boyfriend. Really, I made that phone call from underneath your dormitory. I saw you walking towards him, smiling so sweetly. At that time I thought, since the person before you was me, I could not do anything more to make your laugh more happy at that moment. Under these circ.u.mstances, what was the point of entangling with you. Besides increased trouble, when I left, I should have thought of this aftermath. If I had not taken you as my little sister, I would have been able to stay by your side, but you are not my little sister. If I didn’t leave, or if, I would have to beg for an outcome. I do not like the unnecessary process and futility of being sad. You were living happily, so I should also have my own life, otherwise you will think I am selfish. But people will always choose to maximize their own protection. I am an ordinary person, Wei Wei, I’ve seen many people like me. And it is because of this that I realize that a unique small dragon is so valuable.”

Zheng Wei deeply breathed. As if nothing had happened she said “Maybe I should just be a smart ordinary person. Then where would the Small Flying Dragon exist in the world?”

“Even if you don’t believe me, even if I didn’t meet you in the wedding today, I also intended to contact you.”

She laughed, “After so long you finally found that I have never had the happiness you thought I had, so you came back bravely to save me from my loneliness? Or did you think that you would have gotten 100% of your wanted results. You thought I would say with joy, Let’s just pretend these seven years never existed and live the same way we did before. You’re wrong, Lin Jing, these days in these seven years have been vivid. I have had my own life, and this life didn’t have you. I am no longer your Small Flying Dragon. I love someone else.”

“But you aren’t together with him now.” Lin Jing lightly said.

“Yes, he went to America just like you. He didn’t even give me a chance to wait for him. Right now, I am a woman who is blinded to failure, but if I cannot find a man, I would rather be like Ruan Ruan, marrying a stranger she has only met six times, instead of choose you guys. If I can live with a stranger for the rest of my life, I can accept fate, but if that person is you, I will not be reconciled!”

In the end, they didn’t properly eat their meal. Zheng Wei hastily left midway but Lin Jing chased her, and still sent her back home.

In the deep night, Zheng Wei was half awake, and half asleep, when she received Lin Jing’s text: Then treat me like I am a stranger.

Her tears fell on the pillow.