"This doesn"t sound like you! You"ll keep trying. There are headhunters and agents and managers. And you have a fallback."
"My trust fund? That doesn"t kick in until I"m thirty-five. I lied about getting it now so you wouldn"t worry so much about me living on tips."
"Not that fallback," Henry says. He puts his arm around her shoulders. Months have gone by and only now does he have his arm around Thalia in full view of neighbors and pedestrians on West 75th Street.
"You know what I think?" she says. "I think you"re wishing some real-life guy will take me on that shopping trip to Tiffany"s, and soon you"d be walking me down the aisle of Saint Nicholas. Will you admit to that?"
"No, I will not." He smiles. He points to the maisonette. "Because what if I got that wish, and your husband didn"t want to live downstairs?"
"Are you kidding? If I ever get married it"ll be to a starving artist or a slacker. In fact, your three and a half rooms will be the main reason he proposes."
Henry nods, then manages a "Good."
"You okay?" she asks. "Did I make you nervous? Don"t be. I"m going to redo my resume and get a job. I want to pay my own way."
Henry says, "I appreciate that. But at the same time, I hope you won"t give up on your craft. I think you have talent. More than talent; you have that indefinable quality-"
Her phone vibrates, a growl from the stone step. Thalia, looking puzzled, doesn"t answer immediately.
"Not Leif?" Henry asks.
She holds up the phone. "Krouch Carton," he reads.
34. The Waikiki.
IT IS THE LESS gracious Krouch, Glenn Junior, barreling right to the point: He needs the lowdown from Thalia on Henry Archer. Is he trustworthy? Discreet? And what"s in it for a gay ex-husband, this campaigning for Denise?
Thalia says, "I don"t know what you"re talking about. And by the way, nice of you to check in on me every millennium or so."
"Henry Archer? Your stepfather, right? You didn"t know he came to see us about your mother?"
Thalia says-delivering up her best Katharine Hepburn-"How odd, yet how chivalrous! You can most certainly trust Henry. In fact, this upright citizen is sitting right next to me, on the veranda, not an inch away."
"s.h.i.t. Obviously you can"t talk-" says Glenn.
"Yes, I can." Without waiting for an answer, Thalia says, un-muted, "Here. Talk to Glenn, my charming stepbrother."
Without preamble, and with her orange Razr phone to his ear, Henry says, "I hope the reason you were calling my references is because there"s been movement in your position."
Glenn says, "Hold on a sec." A corrugated box promotion fills the air until Glenn comes back to announce, most unconvincingly, "I decided to do what"s right."
"Which means what?"
"We should talk. In person."
Henry says, "Tomorrow? I"ll check with the firm to make sure there"s a conference room available and I"ll call you back to confirm."
"No," says Glenn. "I"ll call you. I"m the executor. I don"t want Tommy dragged into this. Bye."
Thalia takes her phone back and claps it shut. "It would appear to the casual observer," she says, "that you"ve met with at least one of my stepbrothers to discuss your ex-wife. When did this all come about?"
Henry says, "I went to Long Island City, once. For ten minutes, two weeks ago."
"So I"ve got Glenn Krouch Junior from that cast of characters calling me about Henry Archer, from this subset. And, silly me-I had no idea they"d ever met! You know what this reminds me of? It"s like when a character from Days of Our Lives shows up on All My Children."
"It"s not so far-fetched," says Henry. "Your mother turned to me for legal advice. I went to the factory to see if the sons would show her a little mercy."
"On which topic?"
"Money. Housing. I thought I"d begin with an appeal to their sense of fair play and generosity, if any."
He expects Thalia will say, "Ha!" but instead she says, "That might work with Tommy. Glenn, on the other hand, is an a.s.shole."
"Yet he called," says Henry. "And he says he wants to do the right thing."
"Isn"t life interesting?" says Thalia. "Just as I"m struggling with how to recognize what the right thing is, along comes an ill.u.s.trated example in the unlikely form of Glenn Krouch Junior, torturer in his youth of small animals."
"Maybe he"s genuinely concerned. Maybe he heard from the brokers that she"s in a bad way-"
"Or maybe he"s hearing from the ghosts of husbands past..." and adds, in an otherworldly voice, ""Glenn Junior, you must help Denise. Yes, it"s Dad. Why do you doubt your own ears?""
"I"m not getting my hopes up," says Henry. "Nothing ever gets accomplished in the first round of negotiations."
"Are you going to bring your client?"
"G.o.d no," says Henry.
Present in the law firm"s smallest conference room are Glenn Krouch Jr. and a silver-haired, ponytailed man in a gray pinstriped suit and white sneakers, whose name, Eddie Pelletier, does not immediately register. "Mr. Pelletier is here in what capacity?" Henry asks Glenn.
"Blackmailer," grunts Glenn.
"He"s kidding!" says Eddie. "I"m helping Denise, and so are you, right?" He reaches across the table to shake Henry"s hand. "She said you were on her side, and you got this ball rolling."
Henry asks, "You"re here on Denise"s behalf ... how?"
"He"s f.u.c.king her!" says Glenn. "If she gets the apartment, he gets a roof over his head."
Eddie says, "That"s uncalled for. I think we should keep this professional and, if possible, let bygones be bygones." He turns to Henry. "Here"s what he"s referring to: Denise and I, after some big hurdles, are making a go of it. I happen to know that the kids were offended that the friendship started before their dad pa.s.sed, and I also happened to be married. I admit there was some to-ing and fro-ing in that department, but that"s now settled. As for why this, now, today: My history with the family business puts me in a unique position to help Denise."
"How?" asks Henry.
"Extortionist," says Glenn.
"His dad and I were in business together at one time," Eddie says. "And even though the partnership broke up, the friendship didn"t."
Henry puts his pen down on his yellow legal pad. "If it"s about business, I need to know why I was called. And why is Mr. Krouch using terms like blackmail and extortion?"
"He"s exaggerating!" says Eddie. "I used a little persuasion of the verbal kind, which is how people negotiate. I pointed out that life would be simpler and he"d feel like a better man if he wasn"t turning his stepmother out on the street. It"s all about him and his peace of mind. Ask Denise. She was listening on the other line."
Glenn says, "Don"t look so innocent, Archer. Didn"t you show up at my place of business and say, "Give Denise what she wants or I"ll take you to court"? Isn"t that what you threatened?"
"I don"t make threats," says Henry.
"Then what do you call it?"
"A statement of fact," says Henry.
"This guy, I can tell, doesn"t make threats," Eddie adds. "Look at this place. Solid cherry table, and not just doughnuts and coffee, but fruit salad. This gives me a good feeling." Eddie grins. "How we doing, Glenn? Are we ready to call in Mr. Archer"s secretary to draw up a settlement, and we"ll sign it, and you"ll never have to see me again?"
Glenn is staring appraisingly across the table at Eddie. "Is that my father"s suit you"re wearing?"
"Your stepmother gave away all of your father"s clothes. I don"t see how this could be his."
"Gentlemen," says Henry. "I still don"t have a clear understanding of who wants what, or why I"m here."
"I told you over the phone," says Glenn. "I just decided to do the right thing."
Henry says, "I"m going to be blunt: Intimations of blackmail, combined with your previously stated hatred of your stepmother and your obvious disdain for Mr. Pelletier, do not add up to your doing the right thing out of sheer goodwill."
"Why does it have to add up?" Glenn asks. "Can"t I just sign a piece of paper that gives her the apartment, and you get a gal to type it up?"
"Who"s your father"s trust attorney?" Henry asks.
"Look," says Glenn. "All I want is to get this over with. I don"t need to pay my father"s lawyer for time I spend answering a million questions about the whys and the wherefores."
"She just wants the apartment," says Eddie.
Henry frowns his best bargaining-table frown, the one that says not good enough.
"Here"s the way I look at it," says Eddie. "It"s not easy to evict a tenant who doesn"t want to leave. So let"s say that goes to court. The papers get wind of it. They write up stories about two rich brats-sorry, that"s how they"d see it-who kick their widowed stepmother of twenty-four years into the gutter."
"Yuh. Like she needs an entire floor on Park Avenue," Glenn mutters.
Eddie leans forward and says, "Yuh, Glenny. Like you need a business on top of Krouch Cartons."
This, Henry can see, from the poisonous stare being returned across the table, is Eddie Pelletier"s bargaining chip. "You have another business in addition to corrugated boxes?" asks Henry.
"Not in addition to the boxes. On top," says Eddie. "Literally. What time of the day did you get out to Long Island City?"
"Afternoon," says Henry.
Eddie smiles. "Broad daylight. That explains it."
Henry asks, "That explains what?"
"Let"s call it the night shift. Upstairs. At the Waikiki."
"Which is...?"
"What does it sound like?"
"A lounge?" asks Henry.
"You"re close," says Eddie. ""Cause there"s a lot of lounging going on up there."
Henry asks Glenn, "What is Mr. Pelletier alleging?"
"I"m not alleging anything! I know. I investigated. I went there."
"It"s a spa," Glenn says. "Jesus. Big deal. Which Krouch and Sons Cartons, Inc., has nothing to do with."
"Spa!" Eddie says. "Know what a "happy ending" is? Glenn can educate you and can probably give you a price list."
"If it"s just tenantry-" Henry says.
Eddie says, "Yah, right. He sees no evil, hears no evil, never stays late, and never visits the tenants. Krouch and Sins, is more like it."
Henry turns to Eddie. "Are you or are you not blackmailing him? Because if you are, I"m obliged to tell you that you"re committing an illegal act."
"No way am I blackmailing him."
"Did you threaten to go to the police if he didn"t agree to your terms?"
"And say what? "Fellas, I know there"s three on every block, and you have to look the other way or else you"d be doing nothing else but busting ma.s.sage parlors, but could you go write a ticket for the landlords of the Waikiki"? No, I didn"t say that. What I said to Glenn was that a married guy shouldn"t be spending so much time getting ma.s.saged by strangers or renting them rooms, and as the head of his church"s parish council, he might not want to get caught with his pants down. Is that extortion? Or is that reminding him of the Ten Commandments?"
"Did your father know?" Henry asks Glenn.
Glenn says, "No comment."
"Tell him the rest," says Eddie. "Tell him what floor of Krouch Cartons your father was visiting when he suffered a fatal heart attack."
"You sc.u.mbag!" Glenn yells.
"How much of this does Denise know?" Henry asks.
"Nothing. We told her he died on a Stairmaster."
"What about Thalia?" asks Henry. "I don"t mean the circ.u.mstances of his death. I mean as far as the business goes. Just rea.s.sure me that she"s not benefiting in any way from the Waikiki. Or is she anything like a silent partner in Krouch and Sons? A board member? A stockholder?"
"No," says Glenn.
"Stockholder," says Eddie. "Ha! What"s the symbol? Hand job?"