f.u.c.k you, Henry thinks.
"I"ll draw up the agreement and messenger it over to you before five today."
Thalia opens her patent-leather clutch and takes out a card.
Cards? Henry thinks. When did this happen?
She hands one across the desk to the smiling Seth Shapiro. "You"ll need my address," she says.
27. Handsome Fellow.
LILLIAN WEINREB Pa.s.sES a dictionary-sized Tupperware container across the threshold to her host. "It"s not for brunch, but for you later," she says. "My baked apples."
"You weren"t supposed to bring anything," Henry says, "but how wonderful."
"Todd guessed you like raisins."
"Of course! Come in. Thalia is overseeing the sausages. Chicken, of course. And turkey bacon. I know you"re watching your cholesterol."
"This house," Lillian is saying. "This house! Todd-do we have floors like this under the wall-to-wall?"
"Not a chance," he says.
"Come meet Thalia," says Henry.
Thalia waves from the stove, her hand in a quilted potholder mitt. She has dressed for the brunch in an outfit Williebelle might have worn to a rodeo: khaki green culottes, topst.i.tched in red, with a matching bolero jacket and cowboy boots.
"And this is Thalia," says Todd, "currently channeling a Girl Scout troop leader."
Thalia blows two kisses with the hand holding a pair of tongs. "Chained to the stove, but is this your adorable mother?"
"Lillian Weinreb-who, I proudly announce, walked here from West End Avenue at a pretty brisk pace."
"He"s killing me," his mother says happily.
When the doorbell peals, they are four at the dining room table, three-quarters of the way through the meal. Henry says, "Let"s ignore that."
Another buzz, then a knock, then a faint, "Yoo-hoo, Henry? Anybody home?"
"Unbelievable," says Thalia.
"Her mother," Todd explains.
Napkin in hand, Henry excuses himself. He opens the front door to find Denise"s knuckles raised for another knock. "You"re home! I"ve brought someone to meet you!"
"It"s not the greatest time."
"Thirty seconds! I"m not staying. But look! Meet my new life!" Henry looks down. Huddled against Denise"s legs is a tall, skinny, long-necked, shivering dog, unmistakably a greyhound. "I adopted him! Henry, meet Albert Einstein. Say hi to Henry, one of the good guys." And to Henry, "He hates men."
"Handsome fellow," Henry says.
"I"m supposed to be socializing him. He spent his first three years incarcerated at a dog track. But I think he may be a genius. He comes to work with me and when I"m on the phone and being hara.s.sed, he seems to sense it. I can tell by his body language. Right, boy?"
Henry repeats, "It"s not a good time, Denise. I"ve got people over."
"How many?"
"Todd"s mother is here, and Todd."
"And I"m guessing Thalia?"
"Correct."
"Who has always always wanted a dog! Why did I wait so long? But I won"t intrude. I"ll just slip by everyone on my way to your powder room. This is what I"ve learned: You can"t just waltz into a coffee shop and pee if you"ve got a dog with you."
Henry gestures with a mildly aggrieved wave of his hand: Then go. Do it.
He finds himself holding the leash. Albert Einstein doesn"t make eye contact and doesn"t budge. Denise reaches into her raincoat pocket and takes out a small plastic bag. "Liver biscotti, I kid you not. This is a little trick I discovered: I can make him do something he doesn"t want to do if I give him a treat."
"Brilliant," says Henry. "You should write a paper on that." He shortens the leash and gives a yank in the manner he"s seen executed by authoritative dog walkers. Albert Einstein slinks forward, whimpering. Henry leads him to a spot outside the bathroom. "Sit. It"s okay, boy. Denise? Say something so your dog knows you didn"t disappear."
"I"m right here, Albie," she sings out. "That"s Mommy peeing."
He returns to the dining room to find Todd"s mother sniffling into a tissue.
"She didn"t know I was taken away at four," says Thalia. "She feels terrible about the lost years. Well, actually, we"ve moved on from tears of sorrow to tears of joy, based on our being reunited. Is that an accurate summary?" she asks Lillian.
Lillian nods.
"Was that who we think it was?" Todd asks.
"Correct. Just happened to be in the neighborhood and wanted me to meet her new dog." On cue, Albert Einstein releases a plaintive whine from the hallway.
Thalia says, "Will everyone excuse me?"
"You"re not leaving, are you?" asks Todd.
"Of course not. I want to see the dog."
"Can we all stay put?" says Henry. "Denise is just here for a minute, and letting herself out."
"Is this the woman you used to be married to?" asks Lillian. "The one we were just discussing?"
"They"re friends now, sort of," says Todd.
"I brought it on myself," says Henry. "Her husband died recently, and I wrote her a note."
The toilet flushes and water runs. The table goes silent, waiting for the final sound effect of the front door closing. Instead, it is the sound of six feet padding in their direction and the appearance of Denise and Albert Einstein in the doorway. "h.e.l.lo, Todd," she says coolly. "h.e.l.lo, Thalia. I"m not joining you. I was walking my dog. Pardon my scrubs."
Todd says, "Lillian Weinreb, Denise Krouch-"
"The aforementioned mother," says Thalia.
Denise is glancing at the sideboard where a platter of scrambled eggs is warming. "Henry, I swear. Is that the Salton Hot Tray we got as a wedding gift? It"s held up this long?"
Henry feels it is necessary-after all, what does Lillian know of him and his manners?-to ask Denise if she"d like some eggs.
"I know when I"m crashing a party," she says, "and besides, there"s a little food issue with Albert Einstein."
"He"s skinny as a rail," says Lillian.
"No! He"s a great eater. It"s just that he thinks all food in sight is his because when you"re raised at a dog track you don"t know there"s such a thing as people food. If he can reach it, he"ll eat it. I"m working on that." She turns to Einstein and commands, "Sit. This is not for you," as she pulls out an empty chair next to Thalia.
"It looks like I"ll be getting you a plate," says Henry.
"I"ll get it," says Thalia. "C"mon, boy. I"ll get you some water."
"One of the blue cereal bowls," Henry instructs. "Not the china."
"For the dog, that is," adds Todd.
"Come, boy," says Thalia. "It"s okay," then adds with a wry smile, "I"m your sister, Thalia. We should talk."
Albert Einstein lets Thalia lead him out of the dining room, but not without backward glances of anxiety and longing.
"Finally," Denise says, "true love. That"s what makes all the work worth it. Would you believe he"d never climbed stairs before I got him? I had to teach him, one foot at a time. Which is why Henry"s front steps make such a great destination."
"He"s not drinking," Thalia yells from the kitchen. "Is there some trick?"
"He"s waiting for you to drink first," Denise answers. "Just lean over and pretend you"re lapping some up." To her tablemates she explains, "He"s so not an alpha dog. The vet told me to do that."
"Quite an adjustment," Todd says.
"I was lonely," Denise says. "I wanted companionship." She shrugs. "I hesitated because I know it"s a huge responsibility, especially now with my job." She waits.
"What do you do?" asks Lillian.
"I work at Stribling on Madison. They"re letting me take him into work for the first few weeks because I explained to everyone that he"s never been alone, ever-you know they"re raised with hundreds of dogs around-and he could go berserk and jump out a window."
Todd says, "Ma, Denise is the one who engineered the match."
"Do you know Todd from Gracious Home?" Lillian asks Denise.
"From my gracious home. He attended a party I threw for my stepsons."
Thalia reenters the dining room, sets a place and a cup of coffee in front of her mother. "Was I at this party?" she asks.
"Of course you were!" her mother says. "It was to celebrate your stepbrothers being elevated to full partners. You came in rags, and we had words about your outfit."
"Her version of rags," says Thalia.
Todd says, "Details, please."
"I remember distinctly," says Denise. "The seams weren"t finished. It looked like it was inside out. And frayed."
"I still have it. I"ll show you. Made in Italy. Silk. Dark chocolate. She"s prejudiced because I got it at Daffy"s for twenty-nine ninety-nine."
"I can"t do anything right," Denise tells Lillian. "Ask the judge and jury. It"s one reason I got Albert Einstein: unconditional love." She takes her plate to the sideboard and serves herself a tablespoon of eggs, one sausage, and four berries from the fruit salad.
Albert Einstein returns, his neon green leash trailing along behind him. "It"s okay," says Denise. "Show them how good I am at being a dog owner. Sit with Mummy."
Albert Einstein"s big mouth opens to bare all of his teeth. "That"s his smile," says Denise. "Isn"t it amazing? Greyhounds smile!"
"He"s in love," says Todd.
Denise spreads her napkin over her lap with a flourish. "He never leaves my side, and that includes sleeping with me. Nirvana, he thinks! But let"s not go there. I shouldn"t bring up my big empty widow"s bed."
"How"d you come up with Albert Einstein for a name?" Thalia asks.
"His racing name was Kill Bill. I wanted something from the opposite end of the spectrum."
Thalia tells Lillian, "Kill Bill was the name of a movie, starring Uma Thurman, and-little-known fact-she cowrote it."
"My daughter"s an actress," says Denise.
"Todd told me," says Lillian.
"And she"s dating a fellow actor." Denise pauses. "Whose picture appears in gossip columns every day. It makes for interesting breakfast reading."
"Would I recognize the name of your actor?" asks Lillian.
"Leif Dumont," says Thalia. "Like Leif Erikson."
"An actor," says Lillian. "I find that so exciting. What am I saying? Two actors."
Denise is shaking her head.
"You don"t find it exciting?"
"Something"s fishy," says Denise. "When your daughter"s romance is taking place on the pages of newspapers, it doesn"t feel real. Why, for instance, isn"t he here today?"
"We invited him, of course," says Henry.