"Perhaps so; but you will have the justice to admit it isn"t my own money that I am grubbing," replied Christopher, who had only reconciled himself to giving up all his youthful ambitions and becoming sub-manager of the Osierfield by the thought that he might thereby in some roundabout way serve Elisabeth. Like other schoolboys he had dreamed his dreams, and prospected wonderful roads to success which his feet were destined never to tread; and at first he had asked something more of life than the Osierfield was capable of offering him. But finally he had submitted contentedly to the inevitable, because--in spite of all his hopes and ambitions--his boyish love for Elisabeth held him fast; and now his manly love for Elisabeth held him faster still.
But even the chains which love had rivetted are capable of galling us sometimes; and although we would not break them, even if we could, we grumble at them occasionally--that is to say, if we are merely human, as is the case with so many of us.
"It is a great pity," Elisabeth went on, "that you deliberately narrow yourself down to such a small world and such petty interests. It is bad enough for old people to be practical and sensible and commonplace and all that; but for a man as young as you are it is simply disgusting. I can not understand you, because you really are clever and ought to know better; but although I am your greatest friend, you never talk to me about anything except the merest frivolities."
Christopher bowed his head to the storm and was still--he was one of the people who early learn the power of silence; but Elisabeth, having once mounted her high horse, dug her spurs into her steed and rode on to victory. In those days she was so dreadfully sure of herself that she felt competent to teach anybody anything.
"You laugh at me as long as I am funny and I amuse you; but the minute I begin to talk about serious subjects--such as feelings and sentiments and emotions--you lose your interest at once, and turn everything into a joke. The truth is, you have so persistently suppressed your higher self that it is dying of inanition; you"ll soon have no higher self left at all. If people don"t use their hearts they don"t have any, like the Kentucky fish that can"t see in the dark because they are blind, don"t you know? Now you should take a leaf out of Mr. Tremaine"s book. The first minute I saw him I knew that he was the sort of man that cultivated his higher self; he was interested in just the things that interest me."
The preacher paused for breath, and looked up to see whether her sermon was being "blessed" to her hearer; then suddenly her voice changed--
"What is the matter, Chris?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"Because you look so awfully white. I was talking so fast that I didn"t notice it; but I expect it is the heat. Do sit down on the gra.s.s and rest a bit; it is quite dry; and I"ll fan you with a big dock leaf."
"I"m all right," replied Christopher, trying to laugh, and succeeding but indifferently.
"But I"m sure you are not, you are so pale; you look just as you looked the day that I tumbled off the rick--do you remember it?--and you took me into Mrs. Bateson"s to have my head bound up. She said you"d got a touch of the sun, and I"m afraid you"ve got one now."
"Yes, I remember it well enough; but I"m all right now, Betty. Don"t worry about me."
"But I do worry when you"re ill; I always did. Don"t you remember that when you had measles and I wasn"t allowed to see you, I cried myself to sleep for three nights running, because I thought you were going to die, and that everything would be vile without you? And then I had a prayer-meeting about you in Mrs. Bateson"s parlour, and I wrote the hymns for it myself. The Batesons wept over them and considered them inspired, and foretold that I should die early in consequence." And Elisabeth laughed at the remembrance of her fame.
Christopher laughed too. "That was hard on you! I admit that verse-writing is a crime in a woman, but I should hardly call it a capital offence. Still, I should like to have heard the hymns. You were great at writing poetry in those days."
"Wasn"t I? And I used to be so proud when you said that my poems weren"t "half bad"!"
"No wonder; that was high praise from me. But can"t you recall those hymns?"
The hymnist puckered her forehead. "I can remember the beginning of the opening one," she said; "it was a six-line-eights, and we sang it to a tune called Stella; it began thus:
"How can we sing like little birds, And hop about among the boughs?
How can we gambol with the herds, Or chew the cud among the cows?
How can we pop with all the weasles Now Christopher has got the measles?"
"Bravo!" exclaimed the subject of the hymn. "You are a born hymn-writer, Elisabeth. The shades of Charles Wesley and Dr. Watts bow to your obvious superiority."
"Well, at any rate, I don"t believe they ever did better at fourteen; and it shows how anxious I was about you even then when you were ill. I am just the same now--quite as fond of you as I was then; and you are of me, too, aren"t you?"
"Quite." Which was perfectly true.
"Then that"s all right," said Elisabeth contentedly; "and, you see, it is because I am so fond of you that I tell you of your faults. I think you are so good that I want you to be quite perfect."
"I see."
The missionary spirit is an admirable thing; but a man rarely does it full justice when it is displayed--toward himself--by the object of his devotion.
"If I wasn"t so fond of you I shouldn"t try to improve you."
"Of course not; and if you were a little fonder of me you wouldn"t want to improve me. I perfectly understand."
"Dear old Chris! You really are extremely nice in some ways; and if you had only a little more heart you would be adorable. And I don"t believe you are naturally unfeeling, do you?"
"No--I do not; but I sometimes wish I was."
"Don"t say that. It is only that you haven"t developed that side of you sufficiently; I feel sure the heart is there, but it is dormant. So now you will talk more about feelings, won"t you?"
"I won"t promise that. It is rather stupid to talk about things that one doesn"t understand; I am sure this is correct, for I have often heard you say so."
"But talking to me about your feelings might help you to understand them, don"t you see?"
"Or might help you."
"Oh! I don"t want any help; feelings are among the few things that I can understand without any a.s.sistance. But you are sure you are all right, Chris, and haven"t got a headache or anything?" And the anxious expression returned to Elisabeth"s face.
"My head is very well, thank you."
"You don"t feel any pain?"
"In my head? distinctly not."
"You are quite well, you are certain?"
"Perfectly certain and quite well. What a fidget you are! Apparently you attach as much importance to rosy cheeks as Mother Hankey does."
"A pale face and dark hair are in her eyes the infallible signs of a depraved nature," laughed Elisabeth; "and I have both."
"Yet you fly at me for having one, and that only for a short time.
Considering your own shortcomings, you should be more charitable."
Elisabeth laughed again as she patted his arm in a sisterly fashion.
"Nice old boy! I am awfully glad you are all right. It would make me miserable if anything went really wrong with you, Chris."
"Then nothing shall go really wrong with me, and you shall not be miserable," said Christopher stoutly; "and, therefore, it is fortunate that I don"t possess much heart--things generally go wrong with the people who have hearts, you know, and not with the people who have not; so we perceive how wise was the poet in remarking that whatever is is made after the best possible pattern, or words to that effect." With which consoling remark he took leave of his liege-lady.
The friendship between Alan Tremaine and Elisabeth Farringdon grew apace during the next twelve months. His mind was of the metaphysical and speculative order, which is interesting to all women; and hers was of the volatile and vivacious type which is attractive to some men. They discussed everything under the sun, and some things over it; they read the same books and compared notes afterward; they went out sketching together, and instructed each other in the ways of art; and they carefully examined the foundations of each other"s beliefs, and endeavoured respectively to strengthen and undermine the same. Gradually they fell into the habit of wondering every morning whether or not they should meet during the coming day; and of congratulating themselves nearly every evening that they had succeeded in so meeting.
As for Christopher, he was extremely and increasingly unhappy, and, it must be admitted, extremely and increasingly cross in consequence. The fact that he had not the slightest right to control Elisabeth"s actions, in no way prevented him from highly disapproving of them; and the fact that he was too proud to express this disapproval in words, in no way prevented him from displaying it in manner. Elisabeth was wonderfully amiable with him, considering how very cross he was; but are we not all amiable with people toward whom we--in our inner consciousness--know that we are behaving badly?
"I can not make out what you can see in that conceited a.s.s?" he said to her, when Alan Tremaine had been living at the Moat House for something over a year.
"Perhaps not; making things out never is your strong point," replied Elisabeth suavely.
"But he is such an a.s.s! I"m sure the other evening, when he trotted out his views on the Higher Criticism for your benefit, he made me feel positively ill."
"I found it very interesting; and if, as you say, he did it for my benefit, he certainly succeeded in his aim." There were limits to the patience of Elisabeth.