She sighed. Now she understood the blind distress of Mahrtiir and his Cords when she had met them in the Close. But she had scant regard to spare for the Manethrall"s strict pride. Her own needs were too great.
All right," she murmured. "Don"t worry about it.
"I"m going on ahead. I want you to stay here. I need to be alone for a while. If the Masters change their minds*if the Humbled decide that they have to know what I"m doing*try to warn me." Glimmermere"s potency might m.u.f.fle her perception of anything else. "When I come back, we"ll talk about this again.
"I think that you"ll want to see the lake for yourself."
She held his gaze until he nodded. Then she turned to stride up the hillside without him.
Almost at once, he seemed to fall out of her awareness. Her memories of Covenant and Glimmermere sang to her, dismissing other considerations. At one time, she had been loved here. That experience, and others like it, had taught her how to love her son. She needed to immerse herself in Earthpower and clarity; needed to recover her sense of her own ident.i.ty. Then she could try to make herself heard; heeded.
She was breathing hard*and entirely unconscious of it*as she pa.s.sed the crest of the hill and caught sight of the lake where Thomas Covenant had given her a taste of joy; perhaps the first joy that she had ever known.
In one sense, Glimmermere was exactly as she remembered it. The lake was not large: from its edge, she might have been able to throw a stone across it. On all sides except its outlet to the south, it was concealed by hills as though the earth of the plateau had cupped its hands in order to isolate and preserve its treasure. And no streams flowed into it. Even the mighty heads of the Westron Mountains, now no more than a league distant, sent their rivers of rainfall and snowmelt down into the Land by other routes. Instead Glimmermere was fed by hidden springs arising as if in secret from the deep gutrock of the Land.
The surface of the water also was as Linden remembered it: as calm and pure as a mirror, reflecting the hills and the measureless sky perfectly; oblivious to distress. Yet she had not been here for ten long years, and she found now that her human memory had failed to retain the lake"s full vitality, its untrammeled and untarnishable lucid purity. Remembering Glimmermere without percipience to refresh her recall, she had been unable to preserve its image undimmed. Now she was shocked almost breathless by the crystalline abundance and promise of the waters.
Taken by the sight, she began to jog down the hillside. She knew how cold the water would be: she had been chilled to the core when Covenant had called her into the lake. And now there was no desert sun to warm her when she emerged. But she also knew that the cold was an inherent aspect of Glimmermere"s power to cleanse; and she did not hesitate. Covenant and Jeremiah had been returned to her, but she no longer knew them*or herself. When she reached the edge of the lake, she dropped the Staff of Law unceremoniously to the gra.s.s; tugged off her boots and socks, and flung them aside; stripped away her gra.s.s-stained pants as well as her shirt as if by that means she could remove her mortality; and plunged headlong into the tonic sting of memory and Earthpower.
In the instant of her dive, she saw that she cast no reflection on the water. Nothing of her interrupted Glimmermere"s reiteration of its protective hills and the overarching heavens. The cl.u.s.tered rocks around the deep shadow of the lake"s bottom looked sharp and near enough to break her as soon as she struck the surface. But she knew that she was not in danger. She remembered well that Glimmermere"s sides were almost sheer, and its depths were unfathomable.
Then she went down into a fiery cold so fierce that it seemed to envelop her in liquid flame.
That, too, was as she remembered it: inextricable from her happiness with Covenant; whetted with hope. Nevertheless its incandescence drove the breath from her lungs. Before she could name her hope, or seek for it, she was forced gasping to the surface.
For a brief time, no more than a handful of heartbeats, she splashed and twisted as if she were dancing. But she was too human to remain in the lake: not alone, while Covenant"s recalled love ached within her. Scant moments after she found air, she swam to the water"s edge and pulled herself naked up onto the steep gra.s.s. There she rested in spite of the wet cold and the chill of spring, giving herself time to absorb, to recognize, Glimmermere"s effects.
Closing her eyes, she used every other aspect of her senses to estimate what had become of her.
The waters healed bruises: they washed away the strain and sorrow of battle. She needed that. They could not undo the emotional cost of the things which she had suffered, but they lifted from her the long physical weariness and privation of recent days, the visceral residue of her pa.s.sage through caesures, the tangible galls of her fraught yearning for her son. The eldritch implications of Glimmermere renewed her bodily health and strength as though she had feasted on aliantha.
As cold as the water, Covenant"s ring burned between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
But the lake did more. The renewed accuracy with which she was able to perceive her own condition told her that the stain of Kevin"s Dirt had been scrubbed from her senses. And when she reached beyond herself, she felt the ramified richness of the gra.s.s beneath her, the imponderable life-pulse of the undergirding soil and stone. She could not detect Mahrtiir"s presence beyond the hills: his emanations were too mortal to penetrate Glimmermere"s glory. Yet spring"s fecundity whispered to her along the gentle breeze, and the faint calling of the birds was as eloquent as melody. The wealth of the lake was now a paean, a sun-burnished outpouring of the Earth"s essential gladness, as lambent as Earthpower, and as celebratory as an aubade.
In other ways, nothing had changed. Her torn heart could not be healed by any expression of this world"s fundamental bounty. Covenant and Jeremiah had been restored to her* and they would not let her touch them. That hurt remained. Glimmermere held no anodyne for the dismay and bereavement which had brought her here.
Nevertheless the lake had given her its gifts. It had made her stronger, allowing her to feel capable again, more certain of herself. And it had erased the effects of Kevin"s Dirt, when she had been forbidden to do so with the Staff of Law.
She was as ready as she would ever be.
Steady now, and moving without haste, she donned her clothes and boots; retrieved her Staff. Then she climbed a short way up the hillside, back toward Revelstone, until she found a spot where the slope offered a stretch of more level ground. There she planted her feet as though her memories of Thomas Covenant and love stood at her back to support her. Facing southward across the hillside, she braced the Staff in the gra.s.s at her feet and gripped it with one hand while she lifted the white gold ring from under her damp shirt with the other and closed it in her fist.
She took a deep breath; held it for a moment, preparing herself. Then she lifted her face to the sky.
She had ascended far enough to gain a clear view of the mountainheads in the west. Clouds had begun to thicken behind the peaks, suggesting the possibility of rain. It would not come soon, however. The raw crests still clawed the clouds to high wisps and feathers that streamed eastward like fluttering pennons. As Glimmermere"s waters flowed between the hills into the south, they caught the sunshine and glistened like a spill of gems.
Now, she thought. Now or never.
With her head held high, she announced softly, "It"s time, Esmer. You"ve done enough harm. It"s time to do some good.
"I need answers, and I don"t know anyone else who can give them to me."
Her voice seemed to fall, unheard, to the gra.s.s. Nothing replied to her except birdsong and the quiet incantations of the breeze.
More loudly, she continued, "Come on, Esmer. I know you can hear me. You said that the Despiser is hidden from you, and you can"t tell me where to find my son, but those seem to be the only things that you don"t know. There"s too much going on, and all of it matters too much. It"s time to pick a side. I need answers."
Still she had no reason to believe that he would heed her. She had no idea what his true powers were, or how far they extended. She could not even be sure that he had returned to her present. He may have sought to avoid the pain of his conflicting purposes by remaining in the Land"s past; in a time when he could no longer serve either Cail"s devotion or Kastenessen"s loathing.
h.e.l.l, as far as she knew, he had arrived to aid and betray her outside the cave of the Waynhim before his own birth. And he had certainly brought the Demondim forward from an age far older than himself. But his strange ability to go wherever and whenever he willed rea.s.sured her obliquely. It was another sign that the Law of Time retained its integrity.
No matter which era of the Earth Esmer chose to occupy, his life and experience remained consecutive, as hers did. His betrayal of her, and of the Waynhim, in the Land"s past had been predicated on his encounters with her among the Ramen only a few days ago. If he came to her now, in his own life he would do so after he had brought the Demondim to a.s.sail her small company. The Law of Time required that, despite the harm which Joan had wrought with wild magic.
Even if he did hear her, however, he had given her no cause to believe that he could be summoned. He was descended*albeit indirectly*from the Elohim; and those self-absorbed beings ignored all concerns but their own. Linden was still vaguely surprised that they had troubled to send warning of the Land"s peril.
Nevertheless Esmer"s desire to a.s.sist her had seemed as strong as his impulse toward treachery. The commitments that he had inherited from Cail matched the dark desires of the merewives.
He might yet come to her.
She was not willing to risk banishing Covenant and Jeremiah with the Staff.
And she was not desperate enough to chance wild magic. But she had found her own strength in Glimmermere. She had felt its cold in the marrow of her bones. When a score of heartbeats had pa.s.sed, and her call had not been answered, she raised her voice to a shout.
"Esmer, G.o.d d.a.m.n it! I"m keeping score here, and by my count you still owe me!" Even his riven heart could not equate unleashing the Demondim*and the Illearth Stone* with serving as a translator for the Waynhim. "Cail was your father! You can"t deny that. You"ll tear yourself apart. And the Ranyhyn trust me! You love them, I know you do. For their sake, if not for simple fairness*!"
Abruptly she stopped. She had said enough. Lowering her head, she sagged as if she had been holding her breath.
Without transition, nausea began squirming in her guts.
She knew that sensation; had already become intimately familiar with it. If she reached for wild magic now, she would not find it: its hidden place within her had been sealed away.
She felt no surprise at all as Esmer stepped out of the sunlight directly in front of her.
He was unchanged; was perhaps incapable of change. If she had glimpsed him from a distance, only his strange apparel would have prevented her from mistaking him for one of the Haruchai. He had the strong frame of Stave"s kinsmen, the brown skin, the flattened features untouched by time. However, his gilded cymar marked him as a being apart. Its ecru fabric might have been woven from the foam of running seas, or from the clouds that fled before a thunderstorm, and its gilding was like fine streaks of light from a setting sun.
But he stood only a few steps away; and at this distance, his resemblance to his father vanished behind the dangerous green of his eyes and the nausea he evoked as though it were an essential aspect of his nature. His emanations were more subtle than those of the Demondim, yet in his own way he seemed more potent and ominous than any of the Vile-sp.a.w.n.
By theurgy if not by blood, he was Kastenessen"s grandson.
For a moment, nausea and perceptions of might dominated Linden"s attention. Then, belatedly, she saw that he was not alone.
A band of ur-viles had appeared perhaps a dozen paces behind him: more ur-viles than she had known still existed in the world; far more than had enabled her to retrieve the Staff of Law. Only six or seven of those creatures had lived to reach the ambiguous sanctuary of Revelstone and the plateau. Yet here she saw at least three score of the black Demondim-sp.a.w.n, perhaps as many as four. None of them bore any sign that they had endured a desperate struggle for their lives, and hers.
And on either side of the ur-viles waited small groups of Waynhim. The grey servants of the Land numbered only half as many as the ur-viles; yet even they were more than the mere dozen or so that had accompanied her to Lord"s Keep. Like the ur-viles, they showed no evidence that they had been in a battle.
What*? Involuntarily Linden took a startled step backward. Esmer*?
Millennia ago, he had brought the Demondim out of the Land"s ancient past to a.s.sail her.
In alarm, she threw a glance around the surrounding hills*and found more creatures behind her. These, however, she recognized: twelve or fourteen Waynhim and half that many ur-viles, most of them scarred by the nacre acid of the Demondim, or by the cruel virulence of the II!earth Stone. They had formed separate wedges to concentrate their strength. And both formations were aimed at Esmer. The battered loremaster of the ur-viles pointed its iron jerrid or scepter like a warning at Cail"s son.
Esmer, what have you done?
Where else could he have found so many ur-viles, so many Waynhim, if not in a time before she and Covenant had faced the Sunbane? A time when the ur-viles had served Lord Foul, and the Waynhim had defended the Land, according to their separate interpretations of their Weird?
Instinctively Linden wanted to call up fire to protect herself. But the creatures at her back had supported her with their lives as well as their lore when no one else could have aided her. They intended to defend her now, although they were badly outnumbered. And the force of her Staff would harm them. For their sake*and because there were Waynhim among the ur-viles with Esmer*she fought down her fear.
As she mastered herself, all of the Demondim-sp.a.w.n began to bark simultaneously.
Their raucous voices seemed to strike the birdsong from the air. Even the breeze was shocked to stillness. Guttural protests as harsh as curses broke over her head like a prolonged crash of surf. Yet among the newcomers appeared none of the steaming ruddy iron blades which the ur-viles used as weapons. None of them resembled a loremaster. And neither they nor the Waynhim with them stood in wedges to focus their power.
Then Linden understood that the newcomers did not mean to strike at her. They were not even prepared to ward themselves. Their voices sounded inherently hostile; feral as the baying of wild dogs. Nevertheless no power swelled among them. Their yells were indistinguishable from those of her allies.
And Esmer himself sneered openly at her apprehension. A sour grin twisted his mouth: the baleful green of disdain filled his gaze.
"G.o.d in Heaven," Linden muttered under her breath. Trembling, she forced herself to loosen her grip on the Staff; drop Covenant"s ring back under her shirt. Then she met Esmer"s eyes as squarely as she could.
"So which is it this time?" She almost had to shout to make herself heard. Aid and betrayal. "I"ve never seen so many*"
She was familiar with Esmer"s inbred rage at the Haruchai. He had nearly killed Stave with it. If Hyn"s arrival, and Hynyn"s, had not stayed his hand*
Because of the Haruchai, there will be endless havoc!
The Masters would not expect an a.s.sault from the direction of the plateau.
If the Waynhim condoned*or at least tolerated*the presence of the ur-viles, she could be sure that she was not in danger. Perhaps the Masters and Revelstone were also safe. Yet she could not imagine any explanation for Esmer"s actions except treachery.
Fervently she hoped that Mahrtiir would not rush to her aid. She trusted him; but his presence would complicate her confrontation with Esmer.
However, Kevin"s Dirt had blunted the Manethrall"s senses. And the Demondim-sp.a.w.n were able to disguise their presence. If the shape of the hills contained the clamor*or if the sound of the river m.u.f.fled it*he might be unaware of what transpired.
-Keeping score"?" replied Esmer sardonically. -Count"? Such speech is unfamiliar to me. Nonetheless your meaning is plain. In the scales of your eyes, if by no other measure, my betrayals have outweighed my aid. You are ignorant of many things, Wildwielder. Were your misjudgments not cause for scorn, they would distress me."
She had often seen him look distressed when he spoke to her.
"Stop it, Esmer," she ordered flatly. "I"m tired of hearing you avoid simple honesty." And she was painfully aware of her ignorance. "I called you because I need answers. You can start with the question I just asked. Why are these creatures here"?"
A flicker that might have been uncertainty or glee disturbed the flowing disdain in his eyes. "And do you truly conceive that I have come in response to your summons? Do you imagine that you are in any fashion capable of commanding me?"
Around Linden, the ur-viles and Waynhim yowled and snarled like wolves contending over a carca.s.s. She could hardly recognize her own thoughts. As if to ready a threat of her own, she clenched her fists. "I said, stop it."
She wanted to be furious at him. Ire would have made her stronger. But her writhen nausea described his underlying plight explicitly. He could not reconcile his conflicting legacies, and behind his disdain was a rending anguish.
More in exasperation than anger, she continued, "I don"t care whether I actually summoned you or not. If you aren"t going to answer my questions," if he himself did not const.i.tute an answer, "go away. Let your new allies do whatever they came to do."
Neither Esmer"s expression nor his manner changed. In the same mordant tone, he responded, "There speaks more ignorance, Wildwielder. These makings are not my "allies." Indeed, their mistrust toward me far surpa.s.ses your own."
He heaved a sarcastic sigh. You have heard me account for my actions, and for those of the ur-viles and Waynhim as well. Still you do not comprehend. I have not garnered these surviving remnants of their kind from the abysm of time in order to serve me. Nor would they accept such service for any cause. I have enabled their presence here, and they have accepted it, so that they may serve you."
"Serve me"?" Linden wanted to plead with the Demondim-sp.a.w.n to lower their voices. Their shouting forced her to bark as roughly as they did. "How"?"
Did they believe that less than a hundred Waynhim and ur-viles would suffice to drive back the Demondim? When that horde could draw upon the immeasurable bane of the II!earth Stone?
"Wildwielder," Esmer rasped, "it is my wish to speak truly. Yet I fear that no truth will content you.
"Would it suffice to inform you, as I have done before, that these creatures perceive the peril of my nature, and are joined in their wish to guard against me? Would it appease you to hear that they now know their kindred accompanying you have discovered a purpose worthy of devoir, and that therefore they also desire to stand with you"?"
"Oh, I can believe that," she retorted. The ur-viles at her back had already shown more selfless devotion than she would have believed possible from the Despiser"s former va.s.sals. The Waynhim had demonstrated that they were willing to unite with their ancient enemies for her sake. And none of the creatures on the hillside had raised anything more than their voices against each other. "But you"re right. I"m not "content."
"Why did you bring them here? What do you gain? Is this something that Cail would have done, or are you listening to Kastenessen?"
In response, a brief flinch marred Esmer"s disdain. For an instant, he gave her the impression that he was engaged in a fierce battle with himself. Then he resumed his scorn.
G.o.d, she wished that the Demondimsp.a.w.n would shut up*
"It is your a.s.sertion that I am in your debt," Esmer said as if he were jeering. "I concur. Therefore I have gathered these makings from the past, for their kind has perished, and no others exist in this time. They retain much of the dark lore of the Demondim. They will ward you, and this place"*he nodded in the direction of Revelstone*"with more fidelity than the Haruchai, who have no hearts."
Covenant had said that he did not expect the horde to attack for another day or two. Could so many ur-viles and Waynhim working together contrive a viable defense? If she ended the threat of the II!earth Stone?
She had already made her decision about the Stone. Its powers were too enormous and fatal: she could not permit them to be unleashed. Nonetheless she shook her head as though Esmer had not affected her.
That tells me what they can do," she replied through the tumult of barking. It doesn"t tell me why you brought them here. With you, everything turns into a betrayal somehow. What kind of harm do you have in mind this time?"
He gave her another exaggerated sigh. "Wildwielder, it is thoughtless to accuse me thus. You have been informed that "Good cannot be accomplished by evil means," yet you have not allowed the ill of your own deeds to dissuade you from them. Am I not similarly justified in all that I attempt? Why then do you presume to weigh my deeds in a more exacting scale?"
Linden was acutely aware that the "means" by which she had reached her present position were questionable at best: at worst, they had been actively hurtful. She had used Anele as if he were a tool; had violated Stave"s pride by healing him; had endangered the Arch of Time simply to increase her chances of finding her son. But she did not intend to let Esmer deflect her.
She met his disdain with the fierceness of Glimmermere"s cold and strength. "All right," she returned without hesitation. "We"re both judged by what we do. I accept that. But I take risks and make mistakes because I know what I want, not because I can"t choose between help and hurt. If you want me to believe you, answer a straight question."
She needed anything that he could reveal about Covenant and Jeremiah; needed it urgently. But first she had to break down his scorn. It protected his strange array of vulnerabilities. He would continue to evade her until she found a way to touch his complex pain.
"You don"t want to talk about what you"ve just done," she said between her teeth. "That"s pretty obvious. Tell me this instead.
"Who possessed Anele in the Verge of Wandering? Who used him to talk to the Demondim? Who filled him with all of that fire? Give me a name."
Covenant and Jeremiah had been herded*If she knew who wished them to reach her, she might begin to grasp the significance of their arrival.
The abrupt silence of the Waynhim and ur-viles seemed to suck the air from her lungs: it nearly left her gasping. Their raucous clamor was cut off as if they were appalled. Or as if Trying to breathe again, she swallowed convulsively.
*as if she had finally asked a question that compelled their attention.
Now Esmer did not merely flinch. He almost appeared to cower. In an instant, all of his hauteur fled. Instead of sneering, he ducked his head to escape her gaze. His cymar fluttered about him, independent of the breeze, so that its sunset gilding covered him in disturbed streaks and consternation.
Together all of the Demondim-sp.a.w.n, those behind him as well as those with Linden, advanced a few steps, tightening their cordon. Their wide nostrils tasted the air wetly, as though they sought to detect the scent of truth; and their ears twitched avidly.
When Esmer replied, his voice would have been inaudible without the silence.
"You speak of Kastenessen." He may have feared being overheard. "I have named him my grandsire, though the Dancers of the Sea were no get of his. Yet they were formed by the lore and theurgy which he gifted to the mortal woman whom he loved. Therefore I am the descendant of his power. Among the Elohim, no other form of procreation has meaning."