Chapter 9 – I Am Here After Xu Mu left, Ji Ruan exhaled.
Lu Feng stuffed her lessons into her arms, looked down at the pastries in Ji Ruan"s hand, and asked, “How are you doing with that gentleman?”
“Children shouldn"t ask so many questions.” Ji Ruan reached out to pat Lu Feng"s head and the two left to go back to the Lu manor.
Lu Feng brushed aside her hand and said, “Father asked me what you were doing today, and I had to use my lessons to distract his attention.”
Ji Ruan made a noise in acknowledgement that she understood. Li Shi"s att.i.tude towards her was actually not much better than other people. Perhaps looking back at the last time"s situation, she had acted too properly, because she didn"t want to force him to accept her feelings. For a long time now, she had been conforming with the norms of society"s rules and did not dare overstep etiquette behavior. How much longer would they continue on like this, there might not be any possibility between the two of them.
Lu Feng saw that she didn"t want to say anymore, and did not mention this matter further.
… …
When Xu Mu returned to “Sweet Taste”, Li Shi was tidying up, and asked, “Where did you just go?”
“Watching others make snowmen outside.” Xu Mu"s remarks weren"t fake, he was watching Lu Feng and Xu Yu build snowmen.
Li Shi glanced at his son, this year the little boy is nine years old. Although his face had not yet matured, his appearance is bright and good-looking. Li Shi took Xu Mu to sit down, touched his face and said, “Daddy doesn"t object to you going out, but don"t want you to have too close contact with women, understand?”
Li Shi was thinking about Xu Mu"s reputation. He is still young now, later when he is bigger and if it was still like this, they will surely be gossiped about by those talkative people. For a man, nothing could be more important than reputation, otherwise in the future how would they marry him off to a proper spouse.
Xu Mu naturally understood Li Shi"s words and gently rubbed his palm to his cheek, and cutely stated "en".
He should first agree with Li Shi to lessen his worries, but privately he naturally would not stay away from Lu Feng.
Li Shi finished tidying up and took Xu Mu back home. Before going to bed that night, Xu Mu felt something on his chest, it was the Lu manor waist token given to him by Ji Ruan. This reminded him that he had forgotten to return it to her.
Xu Mu carefully put away the waist token, intending to give it to Ji Ruan tomorrow when he saw her again. Ji Ruan was interested in his father, so he was not worried that she would not come over.
During the day, Li Shi had been busy the whole day. Therefore, in the evening, Zhang Shi helped wash the dishes at home.
Zhang Shi put the washed dishes in its place, wiped his wet hands on the ap.r.o.n, and looked at Li Shi, who was sitting on a low stool, boiling water. He hesitantly wondered whether he should go over.
They were not a rich family, so they had to boil water for bathing. Li Shi had already boiled a pot of water to give Xu Mu a bath first. In the winter, the water got cold faster and one pot of water could not wash two people, so Li Shi had to boil another pot of water again.
He caught a glimpse of Zhang Shi, who appeared as if wanting to say something to him, and so he took the initiative to talk, “Father, I"m guessing you have something to say.”
Zhang Shi pulled over a stool and sat next to Li Shi. He placed his hands over the stove to warm himself by the fire, “Son, I have seen a woman come to our shop and help you these past few days. That person doesn"t appear to be someone you hired …”
Zhang Shi started talking and Li Shi, more or less, knew his meaning, “That was General Ji, who lives on West Street … … She helped me out before.”
“Does she like you?” Zhang Shi looked at Li Shi"s face, and with a somewhat cautious tone, “Then how do you feel about her?”
Li Shi pursed his lips before saying, “Father, she"s from the general"s family, you don"t think about it … … Right now, I just want to run the shop well and in the future, save up for Honey"s dowry.”
Zhang Shi sighed, "Father also doesn"t want to think too much. You are thinking of Honey because he is your son, but you are my son too ahh…… Although your mother and I are not too old, but we can"t stay with you forever. In the end it"s better to have a person you can rely on… …Father knows you don"t like to listen to this, and I also know you haven"t let go of Xiao Xu, but you are still living. You must accept this and move on.”
“Honey is still young. You orphan and widower still will need to have a woman to rely on, so that Honey will not be bullied in the future… … Today, there was another person who came by to the home wanting to be a matchmaker, but I refused. I just wish for you to choose someone for yourself that you like. I think the one at the shop is pretty good, but it is up to you to decide.” Zhang Shi finished speaking and patted Li Shi"s hand on his lap, then stood up with his hands on his knees and went back inside the house.
Li Shi gazed at the crackling firewood burning in the kitchen stove, his fingers clenching his clothes underneath his palms, and the rims of his eyes slowly began to turn red.
Honey"s mother had held his hands when she was dying and she had said to him, “In the future, the days ahead are very long and filled with hardships. It is not easy for a single man to live with a son. If you come across someone who treats you well, you should get married again. As long as the other person is good to Honey, I will be satisfied. Our fate together is too short. After I die, you will have to suffer hardships as a widower because of me.”
…… The water in the pot began to boil and Li Shi came back from his reverie. He reached out with his hands to wipe away his tears, and got up to go bathe.
When it was time to get up in the morning, there was snow again. After having a meal, they arrived at "Sweet Taste." Xu Mu waited for Ji Ruan to come over to the shop. While waiting he heard someone yell out to him, “Little Fat Sheep.”
Xu Mu frowned when he heard this and turning around, he saw Xu Yu grabbing onto the door frame. Seeing him looking back, Xu Yu was obviously very happy, and dashed over to him and whispered: “Want to go build a snowman?”
Xu Mu walked to the door, looked outside, and saw Lu Feng standing not far away. Only then he responded, “Alright”.
After letting Li Shi know, Xu Mu went out.
Lu Feng, who originally had been standing not too far away, was now squatting in front of a firewood stack with her back to them, appearing as if looking for something.
“Lu Feng?” Xu Mu took his hands out of his sleeves and unhurriedly embraced her head from behind. He placed a cool finger on her face, and asked her with a smile, “What are you doing?”
Xu Mu"s fingers were a bit cold, colder than her own face which had been blown by the wind outside. Lu Feng reached out and gently patted his hands on her face. One hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him to squat down. Using her finger, she pointed at something for him to look at.
Next to the stack of firewood, there were two newborn kittens. It seems like they had not been born for very long. Their bodies were still wet, eyes closed and noses arched, and crying out meowing sounds.
Xu Yu reached out with a finger and touched the kitten, only to find that the umbilical cord was still attached to the belly b.u.t.ton of the kitten, and the quiet one had already frozen to death. She could not help but retract her finger and crane her head to look around. “Where is the mama cat?”
The three were now crouched outside the walls of a family"s house, surrounded by white, with only a few footprints behind them and nothing else.
“The mama cat must not want them anymore,” Lu Feng looked at the kitten that was still alive, and frowning, “This kitten won"t live for long.” After the mama cat left, no one was feeding it, and so the kitten would not be able to survive.
Xu Mu pursed his lips and reached out to hold the live kitten in his hands. He cupped his palms against the kitten"s belly, and could even feel it"s heart beating.
“At least it"s still alive now, we can"t just ignore it.” Xu Mu held the kitten with both his hands and looked towards Lu Feng.
Lu Feng, faced with Xu Mu"s teary eyes, originally wanted to say that he wouldn"t be able to keep the kitten alive to raise it, but she was unable to say those words. “Then take it back first and try… …”
Xu Yu had found a shovel and looking for a big tree, she dug a deep hole with Lu Feng to bury the dead kitten. They covered it with soil and then covered it with snow.
Originally, they had invited him out to build a snowman, but that did not happen. The three took the kitten to Lu Feng"s home.
Mutou was surprised to see Lu Feng had brought a young boy back to the manor, and Lu Feng instructed her to find some goat"s milk without giving her time to react.
The Lu family did not raise cats, so naturally there were no mama cats to bring to the kitten. The kitten Xu Mu was holding onto was hungry and cried out weakly.
In his hands, there was a living life, and Xu Mu was especially reluctant to let it die.
Finally, a small bowl of goat"s milk was found. Xu Mu found a small spoon and fed it into the kitten"s mouth. The kitten was too small to know how to nurse and all the milk spilled out.
The three people helplessly huddled around in front of the kitten"s newly made bed. Xu Yu watched for a while, the kitten"s cry becoming weaker and weaker, and it obviously wouldn"t last past today. She couldn"t bear it and went back first.
Xu Mu crouched in front of the kitten"s bed and was unwilling to get up. He reached out and held the kitten in his palms, softly calling, “Kitty kitty.”
The kitten"s breathing became weaker and weaker, and it"s cries were getting lower and lower. Xu Mu held the kitten, it called out, he softly answered, responding to it, not wanting the kitten that was abandoned after its birth to be all alone when it died.
Lu Feng knew from the beginning that the kitten would not live long, therefore, she didn"t feel too emotionally attached, but it was difficult for her to see Xu Mu look like this.
“It"s so small, meowing at me,” Xu Mu"s eyes turned red, looking up at Lu Feng, who was standing beside him, and cried helplessly: “Lu Feng… …I want to save it, but I am unable to save it…”
Tears slid down his cheeks. Xu Mu looked at the kitten in his palms and felt an overwhelming sense of pain. He was able to be indifferent to people, but it was awfully difficult to be indifferent to a small animal.
Lu Feng looked down at him and raised her hand to touch his head. Xu Mu followed her movement and leaned his head against her leg.
The kitten did not survive in the end, and walked through the last step of its short life in Xu Mu"s warm palms.
Lu Feng took a small shovel and led Xu Mu to the tree in the back where the other kitten was buried. She dug the pit carefully and placed the kitten into it.
Xu Mu squatted down on the ground, his eyes red.
Lu Feng did not quite understand why Xu Mu had such a deep affection for the kitten, who had not been in contact with him for a long time, but seeing his red eyes, Lu Feng could only attribute it to the boy"s soft heart.
“Let"s go.” Lu Feng called softly to him.
Xu Mu raised his head and looked at the person standing in front of him staring at him. He didn"t know why, but he felt pain in his heart. He reached out, tentatively grabbing Lu Feng"s clothes, and seeing her not say anything, started to cry with his forehead pressed against her legs.
The depression in his heart, maybe it wasn"t just because of the kitten, but also because he still felt his rebirth was unbelievable and worried about obtaining it only to lose it.
He was afraid to worry Li Shi, and didn"t dare show any slight differences in behavior in front of him. He had suppressed all his emotions in the depths of his heart, but today"s events gave him an outlet to release those pent up emotions, and he took this chance to cry out to his heart"s content, releasing the oppressive feelings.
Lu Feng is still alive, and he is indeed alive again, all this was not a dream.
Xu Mu felt for the first time his rebirth was real.
Lu Feng was startled and didn"t dare to move. Since their first meeting, Xu Mu had cried in front of her. Now he is crying again and she was at a loss at what to do.
“The kitten is not alive anymore, it"s not your fault you couldn"t save it.” Lu Feng squatted down, hesitating for a while, but nevertheless patted Xu Mu"s back, “If you like it, later I can give you a cat that can live for a long time… …”
Xu Mu shook his head, it wasn"t just about the kitten. He looked up with hazy tears in his eyes, looked at the person in front of him, and without hesitation he placed his arms around her neck. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and called out: “Lu Feng, Lu Feng.”
Lu Feng, Lu Feng … … These two words seemingly called out to her, reaching to the bottom of her heart, as if wanting to wake up a memory.
Feeling that the warm liquid had soaked through her undershirt, attaching it to her skin, Lu Feng"s body stiffened for a moment. Her lips were pursed, a little while later with a hoa.r.s.e voice, she responded, "En."
Even though she had mysophobia, Lu Feng still didn"t push away the person in her arms. She raised her stiff arms and embraced him unnaturally, mimicking the posture of adults coaxing children, to stroke Xu Mu"s back, and said softly: “I am here.”
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The author has something to say: The Little Theatre
All the way crazy: The sweet candied fruit is too sticky, maybe it"s going to melt, and you have to eat quickly, so it won"t go bad.
Honey: … …_ (: з ゝ ∠) _