Mr. _Pow._ Ay, Madam, I ha" been plagu"d with Questions too.
_Mars._ There"s nothing gives me greater Fatigue than any one that talks much; Oh! "Tis the superlative Plague of the Universe. Ump! This foolish Patch won"t stick: Oh Lord! Don"t go Mr. _Powell_, I have a World of things to say to you. [_Patching at her Gla.s.s._
Mr. _Pow._ The more"s my Sorrow.
_Enter Mr._ Praiseall _and Mrs._ Knight.
_Mar._ How do you like my Play, Mr. _Powell_?
Mr. _Pow._ Extraordinary, Madam, "tis like your Ladyship, at Miracle.
_Calis._ How civilly he treats her.
Mrs. _Wellf._ He treats her with what ought to be dispis"d, Flattery.
_Mars._ What was that you said? Some fine thing I dare swear? Well, I beg your Pardon a Thousand times: My Head was got to _Cataline_: Oh, Mr.
_Powell_, you shall be _Catiline_, not _Ben Johnson_"s Fool, but my _Cataline_, Mr. _Powell_.
Mr. _Pow._ I"d be a Dog to serve your Ladyship, as a Learned Author has it.
_Mar._ Oh my Jehu! What, no Body come?
Mrs. _Knight_. No Body, Madam! Why here"s all the Players.
_Mar._ Granted, Mrs. _Knight_ and I have great Value for all the Players, and your self in particular; but give me leave to say, Mrs.
_Knight_, when I appear, I expect all that have any Concerns in the Play-house, shou"d give their Attendance, Knights, Squires, or however dignified, or distinguished.
Mrs. _Knight_. I beg your Pardon, Madam, if we poor Folks, without t.i.tles, cou"d have serv"d you, we are ready.
_Mar._ Mr. _Powell_! Mr. _Powell_! Pray stay by my Elbow. Lord! I don"t use to ask a Man twice to stand by me.
Mr. _Pow._ Madam, I am here.
Mr. _Prais._ Ha! A rising Favourite, that may Eclipse my Glory; Madam, I have been taking true Pains to keep your Princes and Princesses together here.
_Mar._ Pray don"t interrupt me, Mr. _Praiseall_, at this time. Mr.
_Powell_, I suppose you observe, throughout my Play, I make the Heroes, and Heroines in Love with those they shou"d not be.
Mr. _Pow._ Yes, Madam.
_Mar._ For look ye, if every Woman had lov"d her own Husband, there had been no Business for a Play.
Mr. _Pow._ But, Madam, won"t the Critticks say, the Guilt of their Pa.s.sion takes off the Pity_?_
_Mar._ Oh, Mr. _Powell_, trouble not your self about the Criticks, I am provided for them, my Prologue cools their Courage I warrant "em; han"t you heard the Humour?
Mr. _Pow._ No, Madam.
_Mar._ I have two of your stoutest Men enter with long Truncheons.
Mr. _Pow._ Truncheons! Why Truncheons?
_Mar._ Because a Truncheon"s like a Quarter-staff, has a mischievous Look with it, and a Critick is cursedly afraid of any thing that looks terrible.
Mr. _Prais._ Why, Madam, there are abundance of Critticks, and witty Men that are Soldiers.
_Mar._ Not one upon my Word, they are more Gentlemen, than to pretend to either, a Witty Man and a Soldier; you may as well say a modest Man, and a Courtier; Wit is always in the Civil Power, take my Word for it; Courage, and Honesty work hard for their Bread; Wit and Flattery feeds on Fools, and if they are counted Wise, who keep out of Harm"s way, there"s scarce a Fool now in the Kingdom.
Mr. _Prais._ Why, Madam, I have always took care to keep my self out of Harms Way, not that it is my Pretence to Wit, for I dare look Thunder in the Face, and if you think no Wit has Courage, what made you send for me?
Mr. _Pow._ Here"s good Sport towards.
_Mar._ Because I have Occasion for nothing but Wit: I sent for you to vouch for mine, and not fight for your own. Mr. _Powell_, let us mind our Cause.
Mr. _Prais._ Damme, I dare fight!
_Mar._ Not with me, I hope: This is all Interruption by Heav"n!
Mr. _Prais._ "Tis well there"s not a Man a.s.serts your Cause. [_Walks about._
_Mar._ How Sir! Not a Man a.s.sert my Cause?
_Prais._ No, if there were, this Instant you should behold him weltring at your Feet.
Mr. _Pow._ Sir!
Mr. _Prais._ Hold! Honest _George_; I"ll not do the Town such an Injury, to whip thee thro" the Guts.
_Mar._ Barbarous, not to endure the Jest the whole Audience must hear with patience.
_Enter Mr._ Aw"dwell.
Mr. _Aw"dw._ What"s here Quarrelling? Come on; I thank Heav"n, I never was more inclin"d to Bloodshed in my Life.
Mr. _Prais._ This is my Evil Genius: I said I should have no Luck to Day----Mr. _Aw"dwell_, your very humble Servant, did you hear a Noise, as you came in? "Twas I made the Noise, Mr. _Aw"dwell_, I"ll tell you how "twas.
_Aw"dw._ Do, for I am resolv"d to justifie the Lady.
Mr. _Prais._ Then you must know, I was trying to act one of _Marsillia"s_ Heroes, a horrible bl.u.s.tring Fellow_!_ That made me so loud, Sir; now, says Mr. _Powell_, you do it awkerdly; whip says I, in answer like a Chollerick Fool, and out comes Poker, whether _George_ was out so soon I can"t say.
Mr. _Pow._ How Sir_!_ my Sword in the Scabbard, and your"s drawn!
Mr. _Prais._ Nay, nay, may be it was _George_, but now we are as good Friends as ever, witness this hearty Hug! (to _Mars._) Madam, I invented this Story to prevent your Rehearsals being interrupted.
_Mar._ I thank you Sir, your Cowardize has kept Quietness.
Mr. _Prais._ Your Servant Madam, I shall find a time.
Mr. _Aw"dw._ So shall I!