He smiled. "No. You haven"t told me, have you?"
"I only told you because you never tell things, and because----"
"Because?" He waited, smiling.
"Because I wanted you to see he doesn"t count."
"Well--but _she_"s all right, I take it?"
At first she failed to grasp his implication that if, owing to his affliction, Harding Powell didn"t count, Milly, his young wife did. Her faculties of observation and of inference would, he took it, be unimpaired.
"_She_"ll wonder, won"t she?" he expounded.
"About us? Not she. She"s too much wrapped up in him to notice anyone."
"And he?"
"Oh, my dear--He"s too much wrapped up in _it_."
Another anxiety then came to him.
"I say, you know, he isn"t dangerous, is he?"
She laughed.
"Dangerous? Oh dear me, no! A lamb."
CHAPTER TWO
She kept on saying to herself, Why shouldn"t they come? What difference did it make?
Up till now she had not admitted that anything could make a difference, that anything could touch, could alter by a shade the safe, the intangible, the unique relation between her and Rodney. It was proof against anything that anybody could think. And the Powells were not given to thinking things. Agatha"s own mind had been a crystal without a flaw, in its clearness, its sincerity.
It had to be to ensure the blessed working of the gift; as again, it was by the blessed working of the gift that she had kept it so. She could only think of that, the secret, the gift, the inexpressible thing, as itself a flawless crystal, a charmed circle; or rather, as a sphere that held all the charmed circles that you draw round things to keep them safe, to keep them holy.
She had drawn her circle round Rodney Lanyon and herself. n.o.body could break it. They were supernaturally safe.
And yet the presence of the Powells had made a difference. She was forced to own that, though she remained untouched, it had made a difference in him. It was as if, in the agitation produced by them, he had brushed aside some veil and had let her see something that up till now her crystal vision had refused to see, something that was more than a lurking possibility. She discovered in him a desire, an intention that up till now he had concealed from her. It had left its hiding place; it rose on terrifying wings and fluttered before her, troubling her. She was reminded that, though there were no lurking possibilities in her, with him it might be different. For him the tie between them might come to mean something that it had never meant and could not mean for her, something that she had refused not only to see but to foresee and provide for.
She was aware of a certain relief when Monday came and he had left her without any further unveilings and revealings. She was even glad when, about the middle of the week, the Powells came with a cart-load of luggage and settled at the Farm. She said to herself that they would take her mind off him. They had a way of seizing on her and holding her attention to the exclusion of all other objects.
She could hardly not have been seized and held by a case so pitiful, so desperate as theirs. How pitiful and desperate it had become she learned almost at once from the face of her friend, the little pale-eyed wife, whose small, flat, flower-like features were washed out and worn fine by watchings and listenings on the border, on the threshold.
Yes, he was worse. He had had to give up his business (Harding Powell was a gentle stockbroker). It wasn"t any longer, Milly Powell intimated, a question of borders and of thresholds. They had pa.s.sed all that. He had gone clean over; he was in the dreadful interior; and she, the resolute and vigilant little woman, had no longer any power to get him out. She was at the end of her tether.
Agatha knew what he had been for years? Well--he was worse than that; far worse than he had been, ever. Not so bad though that he hadn"t intervals in which he knew how bad he was, and was willing to do everything, to try anything. They were going to try Sarratt End. It was her idea. She knew how marvellously it had answered with dear Agatha (not that Agatha ever was, or could be, where _he_ was, poor darling).
And besides, Agatha herself was an attraction. It had occurred to Milly Powell that it might do Harding good to be near Agatha. There was something about her; Milly didn"t know what it was, but she felt it, _he_ felt it--an influence or something, that made for mental peace. It was, Mrs. Powell said, as if she had some secret.
She hoped Agatha wouldn"t mind. It couldn"t possibly hurt her. _He_ couldn"t. The darling couldn"t hurt a fly; he could only hurt himself.
And if he got really bad, why then, of course, they would have to leave Sarratt End. He would have, she said sadly, to go away somewhere. But not yet--oh, not yet; he wasn"t bad enough for that. She would keep him with her up to the last possible moment--the last possible moment.
Agatha could understand, couldn"t she?
Agatha did indeed.
Milly Powell smiled her desperate white smile, and went on, always with her air of appeal to Agatha. That was why she wanted to be near her. It was awful not to be near somebody who understood, who would understand him. For Agatha would understand--wouldn"t she?--that to a certain extent he must be given in to? _That_--apart from Agatha--was why they had chosen Sarratt End. It was the sort of place--wasn"t it?--where you would go if you didn"t want people to get at you, where (Milly"s very voice became furtive as she explained it) you could hide. His idea--his last--seemed to be that something _was_ trying to get at him.
No, not people. Something worse, something terrible. It was always after him. The most piteous thing about him--piteous but adorable--was that he came to her--to _her_--imploring her to hide him.
And so she had hidden him here.
Agatha took in her friend"s high courage as she looked at the eyes where fright barely fluttered under the poised suspense. She approved of the plan. It appealed to her by its sheer audacity. She murmured that, if there were anything that she could do, Milly had only to come to her.
Oh well, Milly _had_ come. What she wanted Agatha to do--if she saw him and he should say anything about it--was simply to take the line that he was safe.
Agatha said that was the line she did take. She wasn"t going to let herself think, and Milly mustn"t think--not for a moment--that he wasn"t, that there was anything to be afraid of.
"Anything to be afraid of _here_. That"s my point," said Milly.
"Mine is that here or anywhere--wherever _he_ is--there mustn"t be any fear. How can he get better if we keep him wrapped in it? You"re _not_ afraid. You"re _not_ afraid."
Persistent, invincible affirmation was part of her method, her secret.
Milly replied a little wearily (she knew nothing about the method).
"I haven"t time to be afraid," she said. "And as long as you"re not----"
"It"s you who matter," Agatha cried. "You"re so near him. Don"t you realise what it means to be so near?"
Milly smiled sadly, tenderly. (As if she didn"t know!)
"My dear, that"s all that keeps me going. I"ve got to make him feel that he"s protected."
"He _is_ protected," said Agatha.
Already she was drawing her charmed circle round him.
"As long as I hold out. If I give in he"s done for."
"You mustn"t think it. You mustn"t say it!"
"But--I know it. Oh, my dear! I"m all he"s got."
At that she looked for a moment as if she might break down. She said the terrible part of it was that they were left so much alone. People were beginning to shrink from him, to be afraid of him.
"You know," said Agatha, "I"m not. You must bring him to see me."