Gently she pulled Rosa"s feet on to the bed and unclasped her hands. Rosa lay limp, smiling a little ironically, while Annette leaned over her, scrutinizing her like a lover.
"You are a picture by Renoir," said Annette. "You have those very bright dark eyes."
Rosa, who knew that the brightness of her eyes was due to the proximity of tears, turned her head away.
"What"s that?" asked Annette, pointing to a round scar on Rosa"s arm.
"It"s a vaccination mark," said Rosa. "You"ve probably got one too."
"I don"t think so," said Annette. "I was vaccinated, but it didn"t leave a mark." She rolled up both her silk sleeves to the shoulder. It was true. There was no mark.
"I"m glad of that," said Annette. "I"d hate to have any mark on my body that was there forever, or to lose anything that wouldn"t come again. I"m glad I"ve never had a tooth out. And I"ve never had my ears pierced."
"You don"t lose any flesh when your ears are pierced," said Rosa. "The flesh is parted, but nothing is taken away."
"I know," said Annette, "but it would make a difference to my body and it would never be the same again. It would make me feel that it was getting used up and that there was no going back."
"It is getting used up and there is no going back," said Rosa. "What about wrinkles? Those are marks that come and are never rubbed out. Even you have some."
"No!" said Annette. She unlaced herself from Rosa and ran to study her face in the mirror. Rosa studied it too. It was perfectly smooth and the skin was pale and transparent with the bloom of extreme youth.
"There you are!" cried Annette. She turned to Rosa, holding out her face as if for a kiss.
"Yes," said Rosa, "you are like a little fish. You are completely smooth. You should have been a mermaid."
Annette drew a hand down each of her smooth arms and held it out for display as if it were a priceless embroidery. Then she began to caper about the room doing high kicks and singing, "I am like a li - ttle fish, I should have been a mer - maid!"
Lying now completely relaxed and entangled in her hair, Rosa had once again forgotten all about her.
Six.
ROSA came through the front door of the house in Pimlico. It was always unlatched. She hurried up the stairs and entered the brother"s room without knocking.
Jan was lying flat, balancing himself on one of the iron bars of the bed frame. "So do fakirs," he said, "like this. For years perhaps they lie so. Is it not? Then they know G.o.d."
"I don"t believe it," said Rosa. "I mean, that they know G.o.d."
She cast a glance towards the alcove. The old lady was propped up as usual, and her eyes turned to Rosa were like the eyes of a statue. "Good evening," said Rosa, a greeting which she always gave and to which she never received any response.
At the far end of the room Stefan was fiddling with a curious machine made of straps and springs.
"Whatever is that?" said Rosa.
"It is exercise machine," said Stefan. "We make it ourselves. We see one in shop and pretend we buy it. We look at it long time and then we make one the same. We take the pieces from factory. It is clever, no?" He sat down on it, enlaced himself in the straps, and began strenuously to shoot himself to and fro, bending down and straightening out with a kind of rowing motion.
Rosa went into a peal of laughter. "You"re mad!" she said.
"But so we get strong," said Stefan, getting up. "We get strong, until we are stronger than anyone else. If one of us is so, we are king. If both of us together, we are emperor."
"In Poland we make much sport," said Jan. "Stefan was champion boxer."
"And Jan champion cyclist," said Stefan.
At this they both started madly to leap about the room, Stefan sparring and Jan agitating his legs in a cycling motion and bending over imaginary handle-bars. The din was tremendous. Someone in the room above began to bang on the ceiling.
Rosa sat down on the bed frame, laughing till she wept. "Oh, do stop!" she said "I"m so tired already. I can"t bear it! I can"t bear it!"
The brothers became quiet and approached her attentively. Their smiles hovered over her like two angels.
"We give you supper now, you poor thing," said Stefan. "Come and sit here."
They set her on the mattress and spread out the things for supper. Rosa leaned back against the wall. She felt an immediate contentment in their presence which drove away all other troubles. Stefan was stirring something over the gas-ring. Jan stood looking down at her fondly.
He touched her with his foot. "You are our sister," he said. "You belong to both." The brothers often said this. They repeated it every time she came, like a charm.
"Wife is nothing," said Jan. "Where is this thing is wife. But mother is much and brother is much. Always can be made a new wife. But brother is only one. And sister too. You belong to both of us. It is enough."
Rosa looked up at him quietly, allowing herself to be spellbound. His words seemed to come more and more softly, as if he were trying to make her fall asleep.
"Tonight we tell you a story of our village," said Jan. "The story of the first woman!"
On most evenings when they met, one or other of the brothers would tell a story about Poland. The stories would always begin with the words. "In our village ..." Rosa never tired of hearing these stories. What they conjured up for her was something very remote yet crystal clear, like a vision procured in a fairy-tale. She could see it all, down to the blades of gra.s.s and the door handles and the shine on the windows; and she could see the brothers pa.s.sing along the street, now small children, now growing towards manhood. It was very detailed yet very delicate and frail, and she found that she never wished to ask herself whether it was true.
Once she begged the brothers to show her on a map where their village was; but when the map was before them they differed so much about its position and became so angry with each other that Rosa had never asked again and contented herself with the image which their stories had conjured up.
Another time she had said, dreaming aloud, "I wonder if you will ever go back there."
And Jan had replied, "Why we go back? They are stupid in our village. They not know even what is university. They think it is mechanic school. They know only of school of mechanic. When Jan and I make our semesters they think it is that. They are peasants."
"Also," said Stefan, as a kind of afterthought, "it is no more. Hitler break it. Shoot at it, then burn it. Nothing left. Perhaps we not find it, not remember where it is. All is flat land now."
When supper was done, Stefan began the story. "In our village," said Stefan, "there was school. Not proper school, like in England, but peasant school. All children come there together in big room, big children and little children all together. Was much noise. Children sit in groups and teacher go round, so that some get lesson while others do work for themselves. It was so. Jan and I, we go to that school since we are seven. We not have to go, but we want to go. I say to Jan when we are little, we learn much, read, write, so we become strong, not like peasants. So we go. At first was schoolmaster with long beard, so. Very old, and big fool too. I say to Jan, "We stay a while. He soon die." We learn to read, write a little. Then schoolmaster die. We wonder, what is now? In Poland is not like in England. Not everyone is schoolmaster. The village ask, what is now?
"Then from town comes schoolmistress to our village. Never is before schoolmistress. At first all are surprised, suspicious. She is young, pretty girl. Can such pretty girl be schoolmistress? We laugh. First day, all village come to school to watch. All children go in, then all village is outside, at doors, at windows, watching. Schoolmistress is there, very red, very pretty. We all laugh. But soon we see she is really schoolmistress. She know all, cannot be joked at. We see our mothers, fathers, at doors looking in, and we want to laugh and play. But she make us be silent. She take off her shoe and bang it on desk, so, rat tat, and we are silent. She wear town shoes with long heels. Suddenly we all feel afraid. Then she turn to door where is our mothers, fathers, looking in to see if so pretty girl can be schoolmistress. She say, "If you want lesson, come in, if you not want lesson go away from here." Now is their turn to be red. They go away, so, creeping foolishly. After that no one make joke at schoolmistress, not in school, not in village.
"We stay at that school and we learn much things. We are best pupils, far far best. We are big boys now, Jan and Stefan. Our family have much money, so we not work in fields. Schoolmistress is pleased with us, teach us much, more than to the others. She want that we go to university when we grow up. We think so too. But one day she make big mistake with us. We are thirteen years, or I thirteen and Jan is twelve. She strike us, so, upon the face. Why she strike us I not remember nor Jan remember. But she strike us both, first Stefan, then Jan, and all children see and laugh. In Poland, in village people do not so to strike in that way. Is not to be forgiven, such a blow. I am silent and Jan is silent - but each of us think then in his heart, we never forget this, and when we are big we have that woman, and so we revenge on her. Each of us he think this, but he not say to the other.
"After that day, in the cla.s.s, we are silent, always silent. Before, we talk much, answer and ask questions. Now we are silent. We sit so and look at her, all time we stare at her. If she asks us something we answer very short, and all time we stare and stare. She soon become miserable. She say, "Why you never talk now, you two, what is with you, are you sick?" But she know very well what is with us. We say nothing. We make her very unhappy. All time we stare, we lean so with our heads in our hands, and stare. So pa.s.ses a year, two years. We learn much, but now we learn for ourselves, out of books. Soon we know many things, more than the schoolmistress. We still come to school, but only to stare at her, and sometimes now if she say something wrong we correct her. She very unhappy now when she see us there. She begin to be afraid of us. And all time, each of us in his heart is saying, it is not long now, it is soon now. But still we not speak to each other. Each one keeps plan in his own heart, secret. We wait to be big, tall, strong. Now every day we are looking in gla.s.s to see if we are like men. We see how we become tall, fine, like soldiers. Is much beard coming at last. Every day I look so in gla.s.s and admire, and everyday I see is Jan doing the same, how he measure himself on wall, look in gla.s.s, throw shoulders back, so, and clench fist. But. I not know what he think and he not know what I think.
"Then one time our mother go away from village. She begin then to be ill and she go where is sister in other village. I think to myself: it is now. Jan he think so also to himself: it is now. It is same day. But we still not speak. We both go into school, and we sit as we do before and stare, and schoolmistress is red and unhappy when she see us there, as she is before. The lesson is done. Then each of us pa.s.s her a note, but we still not see what is doing the other. I, Stefan, I put the note into her book. Jan he put his note into her hat. Then we go home, very pleased, very excited. But we still not tell each other. In my note to schoolmistress I say: I love you. Meet me tonight at nine beside well. In Jan"s note to schoolmistress he say: 1 love you. Meet me tonight at nine beside oak tree. All afternoon we laugh very much, we wait for the evening. Still each does not know what has done the other.
"At last is evening. I, Stefan, go and stand by well. Jan he go and stand by oak tree. Well is near end of village street, but on north side of village. Oak tree is near same end of village street, but on south side of village. In between at end of street is a fountain. When I come to well it is only a little dark, and I look about. I see not schoolmistress, but I see Jan sitting under oak tree. And Jan see me. We both curse, and then we pretend we have not seen. I sit down too. Between us is not far, is perhaps two hundred metres. So we wait. Is twilight, very quiet, very beautiful. I think to myself: if only is not Jan. What can he be doing under oak tree? Jan think to himself: if only is not Stefan. What can he be doing beside well?
"Then suddenly is schoolmistress, in white dress, like bride, coming down village street. She show very clear in twilight. We both see her. She come to end of street. She look to right and she see me. She look to left and she see Jan. She stand so for a moment. Then she sit down beside fountain and arrange her skirt. She look up at sky. She put her hand into fountain. Is silence. The minutes go by. I say to myself, she see Jan there, and she wait for him to go away, then she come to me. Jan say to himself, she see Stefan there, and she wait for him to go away, then she come to me. So we wait all three. Evening is so blue, so warm. It is darker and the stars come out, one star, two, then very many. There is a bird sings in the wood, perhaps a nightingale. And all time we see schoolmistress sitting there, very still, with the head back, so, and the hand in fountain. We see her always, even when it is dark, because she wears so white dress.
"I am becoming mad. I want now desperately this woman. I feel water on my brow, I tremble; but always I see Jan there under oak tree, even when is dark I see his face there, very pale. And while is Jan there I cannot move, I am like man in chains. Village street ends at fountain, but then is path that leads on to church. Suddenly now are coming the people from church and coming towards the fountain. It is time just before Easter, the service of the evening. First comes old lady who is schoolmistress"s mother - and now she take schoolmistress by arm and lead her away. And now is all voices in the air, and nightingale go away, and night is very dark. I sit still by well and I begin to cry. Jan tell me later that he cry too, sitting by oak tree. Then we both go away alone through woods, long way, with many tears, and we hit trees with our hands and lie among leaves and plants. Very late we come home. We say nothing to each other, not a word, and we sleep. "Next day we not go into the school. We take books and go far away over hill. I, Stefan, go north, and Jan go south. And so we wait for it to be evening. When is evening we both come back, and at nine o"clock I am again at well and Jan is at oak tree. So we wait. Then all is as before.
Schoolmistress come in white dress as before, and sit beside fountain. Stars, one, two, three, many come out in blue sky. Now is so silent we can hear fountain falling. Then there is again nightingale. I sit beside well, and is water running down my chest. I tear my shirt, so, at the neck. I cannot breathe. I am mad for this woman, but while is Jan there I am like dead, I sit like corpse, I cannot move scarcely my hand. I pant, and then I groan, but very softly, and I rock a little to and fro, so, and all my body is in pain. Then is all as before. Suddenly, are coming the people from church, and first of all is the mother, who takes schoolmistress away, like on the night before. Then I lie on my face beside well. I lie like a man dead. No longer can I even groan; so I lie for an hour. Then I go home and sleep. Jan he come back much later.
"In morning we look at each other. Each of us we are white like ghosts. But still we say nothing. We eat together, but we say nothing. We not speak now of anything, each talk only in his heart. I think to myself then that I will kill Jan. I tremble all through when I think this thought. I have bread in my hand, and I put it down. I get up from table. I am trembling and can hardly walk. I have to hold on to door as I pa.s.s or I fall down. I go out into shed, to look for axe. At same moment Jan has got up and gone into bedroom. I find axe and I come back. Then I see is Jan at door of bedroom holding long hunting-knife. We stand so for a long time, a very long time, perhaps ten, fifteen minutes, and we look at each other. Jan leans on bedroom door and I lean on door to yard. Then we both turn and put those things away. I go out into field then and am sick. Then I go away over hill as the day before.
"At evening I come back to village, and at nine o"clock I am at well. I look and I see Jan under oak tree as on nights before. All is then the same. Schoolmistress is come in white dress and is sitting by fountain. It is warm and with many stars. I hear sound of fountain and sound of nightingale. I not sit down this time, but stand, with foot on edge of well. I wait ten minutes. I am trembling, and I breathe very fast, but I am not weak now like night before. I feel not in chains. I look at Jan. I look at schoolmistress, I look towards church. And I think, but not again, the mother! Then I start to walk very slowly down hill towards fountain. I walk so slowly, I glide like ghost. I hope almost I am invisible like ghost. Is now very dark. I see white dress of schoolmistress. But at same time has Jan started too to walk down hill from oak tree. When I see this I walk faster, and Jan he walk faster too. Then I run, and Jan runs, and we both reach to fountain where is schoolmistress.
"Schoolmistress stand up. She say nothing. We say nothing. Then we take her, one arm each, and we march her back to our house. We take her round by fields so that village not see. We take her into house. Then we undress her and we have her, first one and then the other."
Stefan paused, "Which was first?" asked Rosa, after a moment"s silence.
"I," said Stefan, "because I am eldest. In Poland, eldest, that means much. Eldest is king. Between us is no king. But as we cannot love her together, even we, we take turn, I first."
"Since then," said Jan, "we share our women always. It is meant so."
"Yes," said Stefan. "When we think to have her and not tell the other we do wrong so. Always a brother must tell all things to the other. It was a sign." They both nodded gravely.
"Did you love her again," asked Rosa, "or only on that night?"
"Only that night," said Jan. "After that we love many girls in village, many many girls, all pretty girls in village we love, but not her again."
"Why not?" asked Rosa.
"I don"t know," said Jan. "We not like her. She tell lies. She say she is virgin, but is not so."
"All girls in Poland say they are virgin," said Stefan.
"Anyhow, we hate her," said Jan. "We not forget the blow. Why we make her pleasure? Is for her enough honour that she is the first."
"We make her much pain then," said Stefan. "In days after, we not go into school. We not go there ever again. She look at us in street, she wait for us. Sometimes she wait again by fountain. We watch her. But we do nothing. We not know her, not greet her. All is as if she is stranger. We make her much pain."
"Poor thing!" said Rosa. She felt close to teams. "Poor thing! Was she beautiful?"
"Yes," said Jan. "She was beautiful, as such women are. She come from town, but she is peasant woman, not lady, like you. She have long, very long black hair, almost is two metres long, her hair, and like tail of a horse. Is not silk, like yours, but so strong, she almost embrace you with her hair. And eyes, very big, on side of face like animal, and going up, so."
"And she wear always four black petticoats," said Stefan.
"What happened to her?" asked Rosa.
"Funny thing, she fall down a well," said Stefan.
"The well in the village?" asked Rosa. "The one where you waited?"
"Yes," said Stefan. "She not fall by accident. She jump down herself."
"Why?" asked Rosa.
"Because Hitler," said Stefan.
"Was she Jewish?" asked Rosa.
Stefan shrugged his shoulders. "Perhaps was Jewish, perhaps Socialist, I don"t know."
"I think she was gipsy," said Jan. "Hitler not like gipsies either, he kill gipsies too, so they say in Poland."
"Was funny thing about that," said Stefan." When she fall in the well, she not do it properly, but catch her foot in well rope, and hang upside down half-way in well."
"What happened?" asked Rosa.
"Someone of our village come past," said Stefan. "Who was it, Jan, who come past?"
"Nikolai the carpenter," said Jan.
"Nikolai come past," said Stefan, "and see her there down well. All he see is her black petticoats. And he ask her, "You want to come up or to go down?" She say "Down", so he shake well rope, and she fall into well and drown for good. That was funny, wasn"t it? "You want to come up or to go down"!"
"So say Nikolai," said Jan, "but he was always great liar, Nikolai."
"Funny thing too about that well," said Stefan. "Always there were fish in that well. We pull them out with long net, but always come more fish. Where they come from, those fish?"
Rosa got up abruptly. She stepped over the bed frame and looked down at the brothers. They sat shoulder to shoulder inside their enchanted enclosure, looking up at Rosa. Then very softly they began to sing, swaying to and fro in an identical rhythm, as if their bodies were joined together.
Gaudeamus igitur,
Iuvenes dum sumus;
Post iucundam iuventutem,
Post molestam senectutem,
Nos babebit b.u.mus,