"Bid the fears and sorrows From each soul depart."
"Fear not; I am the First and the Last, and the Living One."
Her whole life just now had seemed to be made up of fears and sorrows; but they all vanished in the light of this new revelation: "Christ is all, and in all."
Her broken heart arose, and crowned Him King.
Her love for David, her anguish over David, were not lessened; but her heart"s chief love was given to Him unto Whom it rightfully belonged; and her soul found, at last, its deepest rest and peace.
"Thus, with quickened footsteps, We"ll pursue our way; Watching for the dawning Of the eternal day."
Diana went out, when that hour was over, with footsteps quickened indeed. Hitherto she had been watching, in hopeless foreboding, for news of David"s death. Now she was watching, in glad certainty, for the eternal dawn, which should bring her beloved and herself to kneel together at the foot of the throne. For He Who sat thereon was no longer David, but David"s Lord.
At last she realised that she too could bring her offering of myrrh. She remembered David"s words in that Christmas-eve sermon, so long ago: "Your present offering of myrrh is the death of self, the daily crucifying of the self-life. "For the love of Christ constraineth us, because we thus judge: that if one died for all, then were all dead; and that He died for all, that they which live, should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him, Who died for them, and rose again." Your response to that constraining love; your acceptance of that atoning death; your acquiescence in that crucifixion of self, const.i.tute your offering of myrrh."
She understood it now; and she felt strangely, sweetly, one with David.
He, in the wilds of Central Africa; she, in a hospital in the heart of London"s busy life, were each presenting their offering of myrrh; and G.o.d, Who alone can make all things work together for good, had overruled their great mistake, and was guiding them, across life"s lonely desert, to the feet of the King.
From that hour, Diana"s life was one of calm strength and beauty. Her heart still momentarily ceased beating at the arrival of each mail; she still yearned for the a.s.surance that David had received her letter; but the risen power which had touched her life had bestowed upon it a deep inward calm, which nothing could ruffle or remove.
Yet this Christmas-eve, so full of recollections, brought with it an almost overwhelming longing for David.
As she lay back in her chair, the scene in the vestry rose so clearly before her. She could see him seated on the high stool, little piles of money and the open book in front of him, two wax candles on the table.
She could see David"s luminous eyes as he said: "I cannot stand for my King. I am but His messenger; the voice in the wilderness crying: Prepare ye the way of the Lord; make His paths straight."
Poor David! All unbeknown to himself, she had made him stand for his King. Yet truly he had prepared the way; and now, at last, the King was on the throne.
Diana roused herself and looked at the clock: five minutes to seven.
She rose, and going to the window, drew aside the curtain. The fog had partially lifted; the sky was clearing. Through a forest of chimneys there shone, clear and distinct, one brilliant star.
"And when they saw the star they rejoiced," quoted Diana. "Oh, my Boy, are you now beyond the stars, or do you still lift dear tired eyes to watch their shining?"
Then she dropped the curtain, left her room, and pa.s.sed down the flight of stone stairs, to meet Sir Deryck.
CHAPTER x.x.xV
THE LETTER COMES
As Diana and the great specialist pa.s.sed through the lower hall the ambulance bell sounded, sharply.
They mounted the stairs together.
"Ambulance call from Euston Station," shouted the porter, from below.
Diana sighed. "That will most likely mean another bad operation to-night," she remarked to Sir Deryck. "These fogs work pitiless havoc among poor fellows on the line. We had a double amputation this afternoon--a plate-layer, with both legs crushed. The worst case I have ever seen. Yet we hope to save him. How little the outside world knows of the awful sights we are suddenly called upon to face, in these places, at all hours of the day and night!"
"Does it try your nerve?" asked the doctor, as they paused a moment at the entrance to the ward.
Diana smiled, meeting his clear eyes with the steadfast courage of her own.
"No," she said. "My hunting-field experiences stand me in good stead.
Also, when one is responsible for every preparation which is to ensure success for the surgeon"s skill, one has no time to encourage or to contemplate one"s own squeamishness."
The doctor smiled, comprehendingly.
"Hospital life eliminates self," he said.
"All life worth living does that," rejoined Diana, and they entered the ward.
Half an hour later they stood together near the top of the staircase, talking, in low voices, over the case in which Sir Deryck was interested. They heard, below, the measured tread on the stone floor, of the ambulance men returning with their burden. It was the "call" from Euston Station.
The little procession slowly mounted the stairs: two men carrying a stretcher, a nurse preceding, the house surgeon following.
Diana rested her hand on the rail, and bent over to look.
A slight, unconscious figure lay on the stretcher. The light fell full on the deathly pallor of the worn face. The head moved from side to side, as the bearers mounted the steps. One arm slipped down, and hung limp and helpless.
"Steady!" called the house-surgeon, from below.
The nurse turned, gently lifted the nerveless hand, and laid it across the breast.
Diana, clutching the rail, gazed down speechless at the face, on which lay already the unmistakable shadow of death.
Then she turned, seized Sir Deryck"s arm, and shook it.
"It is David," she said. "Do you hear? Oh, my G.o.d, it is David!"
The doctor did not answer; but, as the little procession reached the top of the staircase, he stepped forward.
"Found unconscious in the Liverpool train," said the house-surgeon.
"Seems a bad case; but still alive."
The bearers moved towards the ward; but Diana, white and rigid, barred the way.
"Not here," she said, and her voice seemed to her to come from miles away. "Not here. Into the private ward."
They turned to the left and entered a small quiet room.
"It is David," repeated Diana, mechanically. "It is David."
They placed the stretcher near the bed, which the nurse was quickly making ready.