"Won"t you come to the platform, Mrs. Weatherstone?" asked Mrs.
Dankshire graciously, and the little lady came, visibly trembling, but holding her head high.
All sat silent, all expected--what was not forthcoming.
"I wish to protest, as a member of the Club, and as a woman, against the gross discourtesy which has been offered to the guest and speaker of the day. In answer to our invitation Miss Bell has given us a scholarly and interesting paper, and I move that we extend her a vote of thanks."
"I second the motion," came from all quarters.
"There is another motion before the house," from others.
Cries of "Madam President" arose everywhere, many speakers were on their feet. Mrs. Dankshire tapped frantically with the little gavel, but Miss Eagerson, by sheer vocal power, took and held the floor.
"I move that we take a vote on this question," she cried in piercing tones. "Let every woman who knows enough to appreciate Miss Bell"s paper--and has any sense of decency--stand up!"
Quite a large proportion of the audience stood up--very informally.
Those who did not, did not mean to acknowledge lack of intelligence and sense of decency, but to express emphatic disapproval of Miss Eagerson, Miss Bell and their views.
"I move you, Madam President," cried Mrs. Thaddler, at the top of her voice, "that every member who is guilty of such grossly unparlimentary conduct be hereby dropped from this Club!"
"We hereby resign!" cried Miss Eagerson. "_We_ drop _you!_ We"ll have a New Woman"s Club in Orchardina with some warmth in its heart and some brains in its head--even if it hasn"t as much money in its pocket!"
Amid stern rappings, hissings, cries of "Order--order," and frantic "Motions to adjourn" the meeting broke up; the club elements dissolving and reforming into two bodies as by some swift chemical reaction.
Great was the rejoicing of the daily press; some amus.e.m.e.nt was felt, though courteously suppressed by the men present, and by many not present, when they heard of it.
Some ladies were so shocked and grieved as to withdraw from club-life altogether. Others, in stern dignity, upheld the shaken standards of Home and Culture; while the most conspicuous outcome of it all was the immediate formation of the New Woman"s Club of Orchardina.
THE HOUSE OF APPLES
There was a certain King; young and inexperienced, but a man of resource and initiative; an efficacious King if he did but know it. Being new to his business, however, he did not, as yet, exert himself particularly.
This King, as it happened, was mightily fond of apples; but he was, as aforesaid, youthful and inexperienced; and too much overwhelmed with new duties, glories, and responsibilities, to be very exacting.
As a matter of expediency his stewards and servants strove to please him. As a matter of course they gave him what he wanted, when they could. As a matter of fact his table was provided with the best the market could afford.
The market, however, could not afford to do very well; at least its products did not satisfy the King.
"What is the trouble with these apples!" said the King, "Bring me another kind!"
They brought him several kinds--as many as three or four.
"Bring me more kinds!" said the King.
"These are all that the market affords, O King," they replied.
"Confound the market!" said the King, "I will consider this business myself."
Then the King consulted his books about apples; and the heads of departments in his Bureaus of horticulture and of Commerce. Having thus added to his information, he then went out to study the facts; and he found that the facts were these:
Apples grew as easily as ever they did; and there were really more kinds instead of less. People liked apples as well as ever they did, and there were more people instead of less.
Yet in the country the orchards were neglected and the apples fed to pigs or left to rot; and in the city, the fruit-stalls were loaded with the monotonous tasteless apples of commerce, cold-stored from time unknown; and those that were cheap were nasty, and those that were not nasty and not cheap were by mo means as high in quality as they were in price.
Then the King issued a Mandate, ordering his subjects far and wide to send him samples of all kinds of apples that were grown; with their names and histories and habits.
After this he made a tour of state, visiting his kingdom far and wide, and studying Appleculture in every quarter. And he consulted the people separately, in different places, saying, "Why do you not raise more apples of this sort and of this?"
And with one accord the people answered him--"It does not pay!"
This his Financial Advisers explained to him, outwardly with deep respect, but inwardly with derision at his inexperience, that there was no market for these varieties of apples, and they discoursed on The Law of Supply and Demand.
Then the King called upon his people to write everyone a postal card to him, stating the kind of apples they would buy if they could; and how many barrels or bushels or pecks or quarts they would like to use in a season, if the price was $2.00 a barrel, or five cents a quart.
This furnished employment to many mathematicians and staticians and tabulators for many days; but when all was done the King found that the desire of his people for apples averaged a barrel apiece per year. And the King briskly multiplied the number of his people by the price of a barrel of apples, and obtained a great sum.
"Ah!" said the King. "This is "The Market," is it not?"
But his Financial Advisers laughed in their sleeves, saying solemnly to him. "No, O King--this is merely an estimate of the idle desires of the people--with two large Ifs in it."
"But this is "the Demand" is it not?" said the King.
And his Financial Advisers put down their sleeves and said, "No, O King this is but a desire--not a demand."
But the King was fond of apples, and obstinate.
So he caused to be built in every city a House of Apples; and appointed to each an Apple-Master, to carry out his will. And he commanded all his common carriers to carry apples in their season, so many carloads to a city, according to the desires of his people. And he offered to all fruit-raisers, from the humble Farmer to the haughty Horticulturist, such and such a price for such and such apples; the number thereof to increase as the population increased from year to year.
In the House of Apples was an Exhibition Hall, showing waxen examples of every Apple upon earth; and a market where Apples were sold; the short-lived Apples in their season, and the long-lived Apples the year around, and some were costly and some were cheap; and in the autumn the market was flooded--so that then all people could buy apples for a song--to their hearts" content and their bodies" comfort.
Golden Porters, crystalline and winy, were to be had in their brief season; and succulent sweetings, to bake with mola.s.ses; and gilliflowers, purple and mealy, and little scarlet sapsons, of which one eats without counting. Then the people bought more even than they had intended; and the farms found apples were a paying crop and cultivated them; and the common carriers lost nothing, for their carrying grew greater and the payment was steady and sure.
Now the King was really pleased at this, for he loved Apples and he loved having his own way--as Kings do. Also he delighted in the glorious array of Apples in his Houses; to look at, to eat, and to smell.
"It is worth the Price!" said the King. "I know what I want and I"m willing to pay for it."
But when the Reports of The Apple Masters came in, Lo! There was a Great Profit for the King.
"There is no harm in that!" said he. And he showed the report to his Financial Advisers--and his sleeve was across his mouth.
And the name of that King was Demos.
OUR ANDROCENTRIC CULTURE; or, THE MAN-MADE WORLD