"How do you come to be so competent in house-work?" said I; "I thought you were a bookkeeper."
Then Dodo smiled her large bright smile. "Morton, dear," she said, "I will now tell you a Secret! I have always intended to marry, and, as far as possible, I learned the business. I am a business woman, you know."
She certainly did know her business. She kept the household accounts like--well, like what she was--an expert accountant. When she furnished the kitchen she installed a good reliable set of weights and measures.
She weighed the ice and the bread, she measured the milk and the potatoes, and made firm, definite, accurate protests when things went wrong; even sending samples of queer cream to the Board of Health for a.n.a.lysis. What with my business stationery and her accurate figures our letters were strangely potent, and we were well supplied, while our friends sadly and tamely complained of imposture and extortion.
Her largest item of expense in furnishing was a first-cla.s.s sewing machine, and a marvellous female figure, made to measure, which stood in a corner and served as a "cloak tree" when not in use.
"You don"t propose to make your own clothes, surely?" said I when this headless object appeared.
"Some of "em," she admitted, "you"ll see. Of course I can"t dress for society."
Now I had prepared myself very conscientiously to meet the storms and shallows of early married life, as I had read about them; I was bound I would not bring home anybody to dinner without telephoning, and was prepared to a.s.sure my wife verbally, at least twice a day, that I loved her. She antic.i.p.ated me on the dinner business, however.
"Look here!" she said, leading me to the pantry, when it was filled to her liking, and she showed me a special corner all marked off and labelled "For Emergencies." There was a whole outfit of eatables and drinkables in gla.s.s and tin.
"Now do your worst!" she said triumphantly. "You can bring home six men in the middle of the night--and I"ll feed them! But you mustn"t do it two nights in succession, for I"d have to stock up again."
As to tears and nervousness and "did I love her," I was almost, sometimes, a bit disappointed in Dodo, she was so calm. She was happy, and I was happy, but it seemed to require no effort at all.
One morning I almost forgot, and left the elevator standing while I ran back to kiss her and say "I love you, dearest." She held me off from her with her two strong hands and laughed tenderly. "Dear boy!" she said, "I mean you shall."
I meditated on that all the way downtown.
She meant I should. Well, I did. And the next time one of my new-married friends circuitously asked for a bit of light on what was to him a dark and perplexing question, I suddenly felt very light-hearted about my domestic affairs. Somehow we hadn"t any troubles at all. Dodo kept well; we lived very comfortably and it cost far less than I had antic.i.p.ated.
"How did you know how to train a servant?" I asked my wife.
"Dear," said she, "I have admitted to you that I always intended to be married, when I found the man I could love and trust and honor." (Dodo overestimates my virtues, of course.)
"Lots of girls intend to marry," I interposed.
"Yes, I know they do," she agreed, "they want to love and he loved, but they don"t learn their business! Now the business of house-work is not so abstruse nor so laborious, if you give your mind to it. I took an evening-course in domestic economy, read and studied some, and spent one vacation with an aunt of mine up in Vermont who "does her own work."
The next vacation I did ours. I learned the trade in a small way."
We had a lovely time that first year. She dressed fairly well, but the smallness of her expense account was a standing marvel, owing to the machine and the Headless One.
"Did you take a course in dressmaking, too?" I inquired.
"Yes, in another vacation."
"You had the most industrious vacations of anyone I ever knew," said I, "and the most varied."
"I am no chicken, you see, my dear," was her cheerful reply, "and I like to work. You work, why shouldn"t I?"
The only thing I had to criticize, if there was anything, was that Dodo wouldn"t go to the theatre and things like that, as often as I wanted her to. She said frankly that we couldn"t afford it, and why should I want to go out for amus.e.m.e.nt when we had such a happy home? So we stayed at home a good deal, made a few calls, and played cards together, and were very happy, of course.
All this time I was in more or less anxiety lest that thousand dollar baby should descend upon us before we were ready, for I had only six hundred in the bank now. Presently this dread event loomed awe-inspiringly on our horizon. I didn"t say anything to Dodo about my fears, she must on no account be rendered anxious, but I lay awake nights and sometimes got up furtively and walked the floor in my room, thinking how I should raise the money.
She heard me one night. "Dear!" she called softly. "What are you doing? Is it burglars?"
I rea.s.sured her on that point and she promptly rea.s.sured me on the other, as soon as she had made me tell her what I was worrying about.
"Why, bless you, dear," she said, serenely, "you needn"t give a thought to that. I"ve got money in the bank for my baby."
"I thought you spent all of it for the furnishings," said I.
"Oh, that was the Furnishing Money! Cuddle down here, or you"ll get cold, and I"ll tell you all about it."
So she explained in her calm strong cheerful way, with a little contented chuckle now and then, that she had always intended to be married.
"This is now no news," I exclaimed severely, "tell me something different."
"Well, in order to prepare for this Great Event," she went on, "I learned about housework, as you have seen. I saved money enough to furnish a small flat and put that in one bank. And I also antic.i.p.ated this not Impossible Contingency and saved more money and put it in another bank!"
"Why two banks, if a mere man may inquire?"
"It is well," she replied sententiously, "not to have all one"s eggs in one basket."
I lay still and meditated on this new revelation.
"Have you got a thousand dollars, if this Remote Relative may so far urge for information?"
"I have just that sum," she replied.
"And, not to be impertinent, have you nine other thousands of dollars in nine other banks for nine other not Impossible Contingencies?"
She shook her head with determination. "Nine is an Impossible Contingency," she replied. "No, I have but one thousand dollars in this bank. Now you be good, and continue to practice your business, into the details of which I do not press, and let me carry on the Baby Business, which is mine."
It was a great load off my mind, and I slept well from that time on.
So did Dodo. She kept well, busy, placid, and cheerful. Once, I came home in a state of real terror. I had been learning, from one of my friends, and from books, of the terrible experience which lay before her. She saw that I was unusually intense in my affection and constantly regarded her with tender anxiety. "What is the matter with you, Morton?" said she. "I"m--worried," I admitted. "I"ve been thinking--what if I should lose you! Oh Dodo! I"d rather have you than a thousand babies."
"I should think you would," said she calmly. "Now look here, Dear Boy!
What are you worrying about? This is not an unusual enterprise I"ve embarked on; it"s the plain course of nature, easily fulfilled by all manner of lady creatures! Don"t you be afraid one bit, I"m not."
She wasn"t. She kept her serene good cheer up to the last moment, had an efficient but inexpensive woman doctor, and presently was up again, still serene, with a Pink Person added to our family, of small size but of enormous importance.
Again I rather trembled for our peace and happiness, and mentally girded up my loins for wakeful nights of walking. No such troubles followed.
We used separate rooms, and she kept the Pink Person in hers.
Occasionally he made remarks in the night, but not for long. He was well, she was well--things went along very much as they did before.
I was "lost in wonder, love and praise" and especially in amazement at the continued cheapness of our living.
Suddenly a thought struck me. "Where"s ths nurse?" I demanded.
"The nurse? Why she left long ago. I kept her only for the month."