"Yes," said Ozma, "that is true. If only we could lure him into a neutral place with a strong downwind, then we could ..."
The little Queen"s words were cut off as a sickening stench suddenly blew in from the open window. A booming voice cried out, "That is the home of Schtupidface Schnozzle! Torch the place!"
Schnozzle ran to the window and saw President McFoot in his military regalia, and he was backed up by several dozen Stinkfoots carrying torches.
"Oh, no!" moaned the Sniffer President. "We are too late!"
The entire party hurried out the door, but were too late to stop the offensive army from setting fire to the home of President Schnozzle.
"My home!" cried he. "My books! My teddy bear! My original Rembrandt!"
"Halt!" cried Ozma. "I am your Queen!"
"It"s that silly little girl I told you about, Master," said a Stinkfoot that Ozma recognized as the man who had answered the door. "Ignore the little scamp and let"s get on with our revolution!"
"Wait a minute!" shuddered President McFoot. "I have seen pictures of the Queen of Oz in the newspapers. The place no longer is run by that Scarecrow man. I think this child is telling the truth!"
The Stinkfoot soldiers suddenly stood at attention and saluted Ozma.
"Your Majesty," spoke the Stinkfoot President, "I am sorry to inform you that there is a war on. We have need of something that these Sniffers are not allowing us to have. Our survival depends on their annihilation."
"No," spoke Ozma. "It does not. My dear friends from the Lunechien Forest have determined the problems with your crops, and we have come to a solution." She quickly outlined the plan to rotate crops and territory.
"But the silly Sniff-heads have such a modest capitol building," sniffed President McFoot. "I would not want to live in that little old shack, not even for a day!"
"In case you"ve forgotten," said Elephant, "your troops have just burned up that little shack. I suggest that you put them to work rebuilding it in such a way that it will be pleasing to you both."
"If I go along with this idea," said the Stinkfoot leader, "will Schnozface do the same?"
"I have already agreed to it," said President Schnozzle. "Though I must add that the whole place be fumigated before we trade back. If you don"t bind, I"mb starting to feel a little queasy."
With the situation settled, Ozma felt very pleased that there had been no war. Still, there was the other matter to contend with. There may still have to be a war to defeat the Forest Monster that was terrorizing the Lunechien Forest. Of course, Ozma would have preferred that it be settled as well as this situation had been, but this Monster was obviously not going to be ready to listen to reason for at least a jillion years. By that time, there may be no one left in Oz to stop him.
CHAPTER 9
ONWARD TOWARD THE SABER-TOOTHED LIGHT BULBS
The Sniffers and Stinkfoots agreed to help in the Lunechien Forest should their services be needed to help stop the devastation brought about by the spider-monster. President Schnozzle handed Ozma a small perfume bottle that, when opened, would release a perfume that could be smelled only by a Sniffer, and would reach the distance from the forest in only a matter of minutes. Ozma pocketed the little bottle and thanked the Sniffer and Stinkfoot Presidents. Then Ozma and the party of five was on its way to the land of the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs.
"How far is it from here?" asked Elephant, who was still carrying the others on his broad back.
"Well," said Hootsey, "it isn"t exactly close. We will have to travel through some fairly rough territory to get to the Light Bulbs. But I"m sure our pachyderm is up to it, if anyone is. And we do have our new Queen along as well. I really don"t think we"ll have too many problems."
However, unbeknownst to the little owl, problems were exactly what lay ahead of them. The elephant walked on for a few miles without incident, but then came upon a marshy area. "I don"t remember this place," said Hootsey with disdain.
The marshy area was barren of all trees. Stretched out before them lay what seemed to be miles of reeds surrounding patches of dirty looking water with steam rising to form a veritable fog. The whole area looked very formidable and quite scary.
"I don"t like this a bit," Elephant remarked, with a concerned expression on his face. "Who knows what"s laying in wait under that water? And it doesn"t look as if we could get very far without walking through it."
"And who knows how deep the water is?" Tweaty said. "It could be two feet or twenty; maybe even some of the solid ground is really quicksand!"
Just then a loud twittering sound was heard; soft at first but then increasing in volume to totally surround the little group. Then heads appeared above the reeds to signify the source of the twittering. The heads were square; powdery white; and with round eyes like you might see on a stuffed toy--except the expression on the square faces was anything but cute. One rather large creature stood up to reveal a body of the same substance. His whole body looked as if it was composed of giant marshmallows, including his arms and legs.
"_I suppose_," he shouted in a booming voice that sounded as if it were coming out of the bottom of a barrel. "I suppose you people think you are going to traverse our lands."
"Not really," answered Elephant.
"Oh, how silly of me. Of course you are just here for a picnic,"
responded the creature with a sneer. "I should have realized. Quick!
Grab "em, boys!"
The little band was immediately surrounded by hundreds of the creatures who threw fishing nets over them, then rolled out wooden cages on wheels.
After everyone was confined in the cages, the leader stepped forward to address them again.
"Big mistake. Big mistake you made coming here. Not one trespa.s.ser has ever set foot on our land and lived to tell the tale. You see, we are the Keepers of the Crocodiles who live in these marshes and swamps. And in return for keeping them well fed, they have agreed not to eat us and to allow us to coexist with them in these waters. The substance of our bodies is a sweet marshmallow material and we would be prey to all kinds of creatures if we had to depart these lands. We were made of the same material you are at one time, but we made the mistake of crossing swords with a Wicked Witch and in a fit of anger, before you could say "Jacky Robinson," she changed us into marshmallows. So here we are, and here you are, just in time to feed a bunch of hungry crocodiles. Which is too bad, really, but that"s life--death sooner or later. And in your case, it"s sooner."
Elephant and Nibbles and Tweaty and Hootsey and Ozma and Lisa all looked at each other with despair and foreboding.
"Look," said Elephant to the leader of the marshmallow people. "I am a huge animal. My body will keep those crocodiles fed for weeks. While Tweaty here, and Hootsey and Lisa, are tiny creatures. The crocodiles would not even taste them. Why don"t you let them go?"
"Hmmmm," murmured the marshmallow leader. "You have a point there. In fact, the crocodiles could get quite annoyed with us for feeding them such tiny morsels. Okay. We"ll let them go. But what about her?" he said, pointing to Ozma. "She would be quite a delicacy."
"Delicacy?" echoed Ozma. "I am not a delicacy. I am Ozma, Queen of Oz!"
The marshmallow man looked at the child and giggled. "You are the Queen of something? Yeah, right! And I suppose that next you"re going to tell me that mortal men will one day be able to travel to the moon and back.
Ha! That"s a laugh!"
"But it"s true!" argued Elephant. "Ozma is the ruler of Oz."
"Indeed," added Lisa. "I"ll admit, I was also a little shaken when I first learned that the Queen of Oz was a little girl. But you must understand that Ozma is of Fairy descent. She is not like a mortal child at all. She has special abilities and powers that..."
[Ill.u.s.tration: Elephant and others in Cages]
"Silence!" shouted the marshmallow man. "I am not interested in hearing your lies! This child is simply a tender and mouthwatering human delicacy for the crocodiles to eat! That is all!" He looked at Ozma and laughed. "Fairy descent? This is not a Fairy! I know about these things!
Fairies are tiny little critters with wings like those on one of our dragonflies. This is just a human child. A perfectly ordinary human child!"
Ozma looked at him indignantly, but she said nothing more. She knew that it would be hard to convince anyone of her origin without some sort of proof. And, indeed, what would serve as sufficient proof to convince this Doubting Thomas? She knew all too well that, throughout history, skeptics have always been known to cling to what they thought to be truth, even when it was a foolish belief that they were clinging to.
Indeed, mortals in America had placed a great deal of faith in a substance called radium. A highly radioactive and dangerous substance, radium was being treated as a miracle medicine that had been hailed as a cure-all for anything! This marshmallow man was every bit as small-minded as the mortal men. If she were going to prove her position and power, she would have to break through the imaginary wall that he had built up in his mind concerning the proper look of Queens and Fairies.
"My good man," she said in her most dignified voice, "I can understand why you might a.s.sume what you do. It is true that I look more like a little girl than the ruler of a vast country like Oz. And it is true that some Fairy groups can be described as you have just suggested.
However, it is also true that there are different kinds of Fairies, just as there are different kinds of marshmallows. The Fairy Queen Lurline does not have wings, and she looks quite human, too. But if it is so important to you, I can probably meet with your needs in a satisfactory manner." She put her fingers to her temples and concentrated.
"What are you doing?" asked the marshmallow man in puzzlement. Then: "Chicanery in Chittenango!" he exclaimed. "You have wings! But you didn"t have them a second or two ago!"