[LITTLE AIDA has put out her tongue.]
MRS. L. I"d saner there was a gude "eart in "er than any fortune.
L. AIDA. [Hugging her pile of trousers] It"s thirteen pence three farthin"s I"ve got to bring yer, an" a penny aht for me, mykes twelve three farthin"s: [With the same little hop and sudden smile] I"m goin" to ride back on a bus, I am.
LEMMY. Well, you myke the most of it up there; it"s the nearest you"ll ever git to "eaven.
MRS. L. Don" yu discourage "er, Bob; she"m a gude little thing, an"t yu, dear?
L. AIDA. [Simply] Yus.
LEMMY. Not "arf. Wot c"her do wiv yesterdy"s penny?
L. AIDA. Movies.
LEMMY. An" the dy before?
L. AIDA. Movies.
LEMMY. Wot"d I tell yer, old lydy--she"s got vicious tystes, she"ll finish in the theayter yep Tyke my tip, little Aida; you put every penny into yer foundytions, yer"ll get on the boards quicker that wy.
MRS. L. Don" yu pay no "eed to his talk.
L. AIDA. I daon"t.
Ice. Would yer like a sip aht o" my mug?
L. AIDA. [Brilliant] Yus.
MRS. L. Not at yore age, me dear, though it is teetotal.
[LITTLE AIDA puts her head on one side, like a dog trying to understand.]
LEMMY. Well, "ave one o" my gum-drops.
[Holds out a paper.]
[LITTLE AIDA brilliant, takes a flat, dark substance from it, and puts it in her mouth.]
Give me a kiss, an" I"ll give yer a penny.
[LITTLE AIDA shakes her head, and leans out of window.]
Movver, she daon"t know the valyer of money.
MRS. L. Never mind "im, me dear.
L. AIDA. [Sucking the gum-drop--with difficulty] There"s a taxi-cab at the corner.
[LITTLE AIDA runs to the door. A figure stands in the doorway; she skids round him and out. THE PRESS comes in.]
LEMMY. [Dubiously] Wat-oh!
PRESS. Mr. Lemmy?
LEMMY. The syme.
PRESS. I"m from the Press.
LEMMY. Blimy.
PRESS. They told me at your place you wens very likely here.
LEMMY. Yus I left Downin" Street a bit early to-dy! [He tw.a.n.gs the feddle-strings pompously.]
PRESS. [Taking out his note-book and writing] "Fiddles while Rome is burning!" Mr. Lemmy, it"s my business at this very critical time to find out what the nation"s thinking. Now, as a representative working man--
LEMMY. That"s me.
PRESS. You can help me. What are your views?
LEMMY. [Putting down fiddle] Voos? Sit dahn!
[THE PRESS sits on the stool which LEMMY has vacated.]
The Press--my Muvver. Seventy-seven. She"s a wonder; "yn"t yer, old dear?
PRESS. Very happy to make your acquaintance, Ma"am. [He writes]
"Mrs. Lemmy, one of the veterans of industry----" By the way, I"ve jest pa.s.sed a lot of people following a coffin.
LEMMY. Centre o" the cyclone--cyse o" starvytion; you "ad "er in the pyper this mornin".
PRESS. Ah! yes! Tragic occurrence. [Looking at the trousers.] Hub of the Sweated Industries just here. I especially want to get at the heart----
MRS. L. "Twasn"t the "eart, "twas the stomach.
PRESS. [Writing] "Mrs. Lemmy goes straight to the point."
LEMMY. Mister, is it my voos or Muvver"s yer want?
PRESS. Both.
LEMMY. "Cos if yer get Muvver"s, yer won"t "ave time for mine. I tell yer stryte [Confidentially] she"s get a glawss a" port wine in "er. Naow, mind yer, I"m not anxious to be intervooed. On the other "and, anyfink I might "eve to sy of valyer----There is a clawss o"
politician that "as nuffn to sy--Aoh! an" daon"t "e sy it just! I dunno wot pyper yer represent.
PRESS. [Smiling] Well, Mr. Lemmy, it has the biggest influ----