The Foundations

Chapter 20

L. ANNE. Oh! Daddy!

[THOMAS abruptly closes the doors.]

LEMMY. [To ANNE] Now yer"ve done it. See wot comes o" bein"

impytient. We was just gettin" to the marrer.

L. ANNE. What can we do for you now?



LEMMY. [Pointing to ANNE, and addressing JAMES] Wot is this one, anywy?

JAMES. [Sepulchrally] Daughter o" the house.

LEMMY. Is she insured agynst "er own curiosity?

L. ANNE. Why?

LEMMY. As I daon"t believe in a life beyond the gryve, I might be tempted to send yer there.

L. ANNE. What is the gryve?

LEMMY. Where little gells goes to.

L. ANNE. Oh, when?

LEMMY. [Pretending to look at a match, which is not there] Well, I dunno if I"ve got time to finish yer this minute. Sy to-mower at.

"arf past.

L. ANNE. Half past what?

LEMMY. [Despairingly] "Arf past wot!

[The sound of applause is heard.]

JAMES. That"s "is Grace. "E"s gettin" wickets, too.

[POULDER entering from the door.]

POULDER. Lord William is slippin" in.

[He makes a cabalistic sign with his head. Jeers crosses to the door. LEMMY looks dubiously at POULDER.]

LEMMY. [Suddenly--as to himself] Wot oh! I am the portly one!

POULDER. [Severely] Any such allusion aggeravates your offence.

LEMMY. Oh, ah! Look "ere, it was a corked bottle. Now, tyke care, tyke care, "aughty! Daon"t curl yer lip! I shall myke a clean breast o" my betryal when the time comes!

[There is a alight movement of the door. ANNE makes a dive towards the table but is arrested by POULDER grasping her waistband. LORD WILLIAM slips in, followed by THE PRESS, on whom JAMES and THOMAS close the door too soon.]

HALF OF THE PRESS. [Indignantly] Look out!

JAMES. Do you want him in or out, me Lord?

LEMMY. I sy, you"ve divided the Press; "e was unanimous.

[The FOOTMEN let THE PRESS through.]

LORD W. [To THE PRESS] I"m so sorry.

LEMMY. Would yer like me to see to "is gas?

LORD W. So you"re my friend of the cellars?

LEMMY. [Uneasy] I daon"t deny it.

[POULDER begins removing LITTLE ANNE.]

L. ANNE. Let me stay, Daddy; I haven"t seen anything yet! If I go, I shall only have to come down again when they loot the house.

Listen!

[The hoa.r.s.e strains of the Ma.r.s.eillaise are again heard from the distance.]

LORD W. [Blandly] Take her up, Poulder!

L. ANNE. Well, I"m coming down again--and next time I shan"t have any clothes on, you know.

[They vanish between the pillars. LORD WILLIAM makes a sign of dismissal. The FOOTMAN file out.]

LEMMY. [Admiringly] Luv"ly pyces!

LORD W. [Pleasantly] Now then; let"s have our talk, Mr.----

LEMMY. Lemmy.

PRESS. [Who has slipped his note-book out] "Bombed and Bomber face to face----"

LEMMY. [Uneasy] I didn"t come "ere agyne on me own, yer know. The Press betryed me.

LORD W. Is that old lady your mother?

LEMMY. The syme. I tell yer stryte, it was for "er I took that old bottle o" port. It was orful old.

LORD W. Ah! Port? Probably the "83. Hope you both enjoyed it.

LEMMY. So far-yus. Muvver"ll suffer a bit tomower, I expect.

LORD W. I should like to do something for your mother, if you"ll allow me.

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