Unconsciously heaving a sigh the young man turned partly aside and said to me in a low, gentle voice:
"You are detaining my boys from church."
"I am very sorry," I said, "and I will detain them no longer," and with that I put aside my whistle, took up my bag and moved down the hill with them.
"The fact is," I said, "when I heard your bell I thought of going to church myself."
"Did you?" he asked eagerly. "Did you?"
I could see that my proposal of going to church had instantly affected his spirits. Then he hesitated abruptly with a sidelong glance at my bag and rusty clothing. I could see exactly what was pa.s.sing in his mind.
"No," I said, smiling, as though answering a spoken question, "I am not exactly what you would call a tramp."
He flushed.
"I didn"t mean--I WANT you to come. That"s what a church is for. If I thought--"
But he did not tell me what he thought; and, though he walked quietly at my side, he was evidently deeply disturbed. Something of his discouragement I sensed even then, and I don"t think I was ever sorrier for a man in my life than I was for him at that moment. Talk about the suffering sinners! I wonder if they are to be compared with the trials of the saints?
So we approached the little white church, and caused, I am certain, a tremendous sensation. Nowhere does the unpredictable, the unusual, excite such confusion as in that settled inst.i.tution--the church.
I left my bag in the vestibule, where I have no doubt it was the object of much inquiring and suspicious scrutiny, and took my place in a convenient pew. It was a small church with an odd air of domesticity, and the proportion of old ladies and children in the audience was pathetically large. As a ruddy, vigorous, out-of-door person, with the dust of life upon him, I felt distinctly out of place.
I could pick out easily the Deacon, the Old Lady Who Brought Flowers, the President of the Sewing Circle, and, above all, the Chief Pharisee, sitting in his high place. The Chief Pharisee--his name I learned was Nash, Mr. J. H. Nash (I did not know then that I was soon to make his acquaintance)--the Chief Pharisee looked as hard as nails, a middle-aged man with stiff chin-whiskers, small round, sharp eyes, and a pugnacious jaw.
"That man," said I to myself, "runs this church," and instantly I found myself looking upon him as a sort of personification of the troubles I had seen in the minister"s eyes.
I shall not attempt to describe the service in detail. There was a discouraging droop and quaver in the singing, and the mournful-looking deacon who pa.s.sed the collection-plate seemed inured to disappointment.
The prayer had in it a note of despairing appeal which fell like a cold hand upon one"s living soul. It gave one the impression that this was indeed a miserable, dark, despairing world, which deserved to be wrathfully destroyed, and that this miserable world was full of equally miserable, broken, sinful, sickly people.
The sermon was a little better, for somewhere hidden within him this pale young man had a spark of the divine fire, but it was so dampened by the atmosphere of the church that it never rose above a pale luminosity.
I found the service indescribably depressing. I had an impulse to rise up and cry out--almost anything to shock these people into opening their eyes upon real life. Indeed, though I hesitate about setting it down here, I was filled for some time with the liveliest imaginings of the following serio-comic enterprise:
I would step up the aisle, take my place in front of the Chief Pharisee, wag my finger under his nose, and tell him a thing or two about the condition of the church.
"The only live thing here," I would tell him, "is the spark in that pale minister"s soul; and you"re doing your best to smother that."
And I fully made up my mind that when he answered back in his chief-pharisaical way I would gently--but firmly remove him from his seat, shake him vigorously two or three times (men"s souls have often been saved with less!), deposit him flat in the aisle, and yes--stand on him while I elucidated the situation to the audience at large. While I confined this amusing and interesting project to the humours of the imagination I am still convinced that something of the sort would have helped enormously in clearing up the religious and moral atmosphere of the place.
I had a wonderful sensation of relief when at last I stepped out again into the clear afternoon sunshine and got a reviving glimpse of the smiling green hills and the quiet fields and the sincere trees--and felt the welcome of the friendly road.
I would have made straight for the hills, but the thought of that pale minister held me back; and I waited quietly there under the trees till he came out. He was plainly looking for me, and asked me to wait and walk along with him, at which his four boys, whose acquaintance I had made under such thrilling circ.u.mstances earlier in the day, seemed highly delighted, and waited with me under the tree and told me a hundred important things about a certain calf, a pig, a kite, and other things at home.
Arriving at the minister"s gate, I was invited in with a whole-heartedness that was altogether charming. The minister"s wife, a faded-looking woman who had once possessed a delicate sort of prettiness, was waiting for us on the steps with a fine chubby baby on her arm--number five.
The home was much the sort of place I had imagined--a small house undesirably located (but cheap!), with a few straggling acres of garden and meadow upon which the minister and his boys were trying with inexperienced hands to piece out their inadequate living. At the very first glimpse of the garden I wanted to throw off my coat and go at it.
And yet--and yet----what a wonderful thing love is! There was, after all, something incalculable, something pervasively beautiful about this poor household. The moment the minister stepped inside his own door he became a different and livelier person. Something boyish crept into his manner, and a new look came into the eyes of his faded wife that made her almost pretty again. And the fat, comfortable baby rolled and gurgled about on the floor as happily as though there had been two nurses and a governess to look after him. As for the four boys, I have never seen healthier or happier ones.
I sat with them at their Sunday-evening luncheon. As the minister bowed his head to say grace I felt him clasp my hand on one side while the oldest boy clasped my hand on the other, and thus, linked together, and accepting the stranger utterly, the family looked up to G.o.d.
There was a fine, modest gayety about the meal. In front of Mrs.
Minister stood a very large yellow bowl filled with what she called rusk--a preparation unfamiliar to me, made by browning and crushing the crusts of bread and then rolling them down into a coa.r.s.e meal. A bowl of this, with sweet, rich, yellow milk (for they kept their own cow), made one of the most appetizing dishes that ever I ate. It was downright good: it gave one the unalloyed aroma of the sweet new milk and the satisfying taste of the crisp bread.
Nor have I ever enjoyed a more perfect hospitality. I have been in many a richer home where there was not a hundredth part of the true gentility--the gentility of unapologizing simplicity and kindness.
And after it was over and cleared away--the minister himself donning a long ap.r.o.n and helping his wife--and the chubby baby put to bed, we all sat around the table in the gathering twilight.
I think men perish sometimes from sheer untalked talk. For lack of a creative listener they gradually fill up with unexpressed emotion.
Presently this emotion begins to ferment, and finally--bang!--they blow up, burst, disappear in thin air. In all that community I suppose there was no one but the little faded wife to whom the minister dared open his heart, and I think he found me a G.o.dsend. All I really did was to look from one to the other and put in here and there an inciting comment or ask an understanding question. After he had told me his situation and the difficulties which confronted him and his small church, he exclaimed suddenly:
"A minister should by rights be a leader, not only inside of his church, but outside it in the community."
"You are right," I exclaimed with great earnestness; "you are right."
And with that I told him of our own Scotch preacher and how he led and moulded our community; and as I talked I could see him actually growing, unfolding, under my eyes.
"Why," said I, "you not only ought to be the moral leader of this community, but you are!"
"That"s what I tell him," exclaimed his wife.
"But he persists in thinking, doesn"t he, that he is a poor sinner?"
"He thinks it too much," she laughed.
"Yes, yes," he said, as much to himself as to us, "a minister ought to be a fighter!"
It was beautiful, the boyish flush which now came into his face and the light that came into his eyes. I should never have identified him with the Black Spectre of the afternoon.
"Why," said I, "you ARE a fighter; you"re fighting the greatest battle in the world today--the only real battle--the battle for the spiritual view of life."
Oh, I knew exactly what was the trouble with his religion--at least the religion which, under the pressure of that church he felt obliged to preach! It was the old, groaning, denying, resisting religion. It was the sort of religion which sets a man apart and a.s.sures him that the entire universe in the guise of the Powers of Darkness is leagued against him. What he needed was a reviving draught of the new faith which affirms, accepts, rejoices, which feels the universe triumphantly behind it. And so whenever the minister told me what he ought to be--for he too sensed the new impulse--I merely told him he was just that. He needed only this little encouragement to unfold.
"Yes," said he again, "I am the real moral leader here."
At this I saw Mrs. Minister nodding her head vigorously.
"It"s you," she said, "and not Mr. Nash, who should lead this community."
How a woman loves concrete applications. She is your only true pragmatist. If a philosophy will not work, says she, why bother with it?
The minister rose quickly from his chair, threw back his head, and strode quickly up and down the room.
"You are right," said he; "and I WILL lead it. I"ll have my farmers"
meetings as I planned."
It may have been the effect of the lamplight, but it seemed to me that little Mrs. Minister, as she glanced up at him, looked actually pretty.