TN: Warning, it’s semi-depressing.
…
"WIFE! Wife! I"m home!"
Sapphire didn"t reply. She remained inside the room, quietly sitting on the bed.
"Wife?"
When she raised her eyes, Johann was standing at the doorway. And his eyes shone when he saw her. He flew to her and hugged her.
"I miss you," he whispered then kissed her on the cheek. It even created a sound.
Sapphire"s face was blank.
"Why do you look like that?" he asked with confusion. He also caressed her cheeks. "Are you not glad that we"re okay now?"
She met his eyes. Sapphire doesn"t know what to think.
"Hey, why are you staring at me like that?"
"A-Are we really okay now?"
"Of course! Aren"t we? At IG, right? Hash tag "me loves you"!"
Sapphire"s eyes became much sadder. "How come you forgave me that easily? Did you really become angry? Or did you just play with my emotions?"
"Huh?" Johann looked confused. "Just because I easily forgave you, I already played with your emotions?"
"Why did we only reconcile at Instagram?" she asked, monotone.
"Didn"t you want that? It only means that I love you that much to forgive you no matter what method you use to ask for my forgiveness. What matters is the apology. And I"m also at fault so I"m not in the position to prolong our agony." He sat next to her and grasped her hands. "Is that only what bothers you? How about we pretend we"re still in a fight and then you say your sorry and torridly kiss me and after that we"ll officially make up? Yehey!"
She retrieved her hand from him. "Do you love me?"
"Very much!" he answered immediately. "Super."
She shakes her head. "How can you do that?" Her tone switched to a harsh one.
"Huh? Which one?" he said with confusion evident on his face.
"How can you say straight on my face that you love me after you kissed another girl?"
He couldn"t say his reply as immediate as the last one. "Sapphire."
She stood up. "What now, Johann? What should I believe in? How come we reconciled, but then the next thing I knew, you"re kissing another girl? And not just any other girl! You kissed Czarina! Czarina! Of all girls, why her? Why her? d.a.m.n you!"
"B-But…. H-how did you know?"
She took her phone out of her pocket and showed him his picture with Czarina. "That! That freaking picture!"
Johann s.n.a.t.c.hed it from her and brought it nearer to his eyes. "s.h.i.t! This is me! Why do I look ugly here? The angle is bad. Who took this?"
"What the, Johann! This. Is. Not. A. F*cking. Joke!"
"But… the angle is really ugly…"
"Johann!" she exclaimed with annoyance.
"Wife…"
"Don"t you dare call me "wife"! You"re cheating on me! You"re playing with my feelings!"
"Nope."
"Nope? Then, what"s that?" She removed her hands from her face. The tears fell down one after another.
"Who sent this to you?"
"It"s not important anymore! What"s important is the picture! And that f*cking picture hurt me, Johann!"
He clenched his teeth and fist. "Who gave this to you?" he repeated. Johann"s voice sounded very serious. Just like when he got angry yesterday, the usual smiles completely vanished.
She remained quiet, her eyes fighting back against his stares.
"Who gave this to you?" Now the words were more emphasized. "Sapphire."
There"s no more gentleness in Johann"s voice. Well, what does she expect, eh, he seems so mad already?
She held her chin up. "It"s Bari."
His teeth clenched, he once again glanced on the picture and deleted it. "Motherfcker. Really a mothercker," he cursed beneath his breath.
Sapphire secretly scowled. "What now, you"ve been found out."
He only looked at her. "If I tell you this picture is not like what you are thinking right now, will you believe me?"
She didn"t answer.
He was intently looking at her. She clearly saw him expecting to be answered with a "yes". Yet, she didn"t, and that made his shoulders fell.
"Why do you believe them more than me? I thought I am your husband?" he worded with sadness and sat down on the edge of the bed. "That kiss meant nothing. It"s really nothing."
"Liar."
He sighed and put his elbows on his thighs. Using his hands, he ma.s.saged his forehead. "Why are you like this, Sapphire? Why can"t you believe me? Are we going to fight again? I don"t want to argue with you. I don"t want to anger you."
"How can I trust you after what I just saw?"
"Do you know the story behind that?" He upwardly faced her. "Do you know that I was shocked when she kissed me but then, I also immediately pushed her away? Do you know what came to my mind first?" he weakly asked. "You. You"re the one who popped up in my mind. Do you know what I realized then? I like you more. I prefer your kisses. I love you, eh."
She brought her gaze down and suppressed the tears. She"s not going to cry again.
"Sapphire. I know… I know that you"re scared of this relationship. You"re just scared. I understand. I won"t get mad if your trust for me is still not whole. Please, be doubtful of everything, it"s fine. But don"t doubt what I truly feel for you."
She swallowed the imaginary lump in her throat. "J-Johann…" She sniffed. "I guess, I"m still not ready for this. I-I still can"t bear it."
"What are you saying?"
"Hearing you right now, perhaps, the one in the wrong is me, Johann. I don"t know how this works. I know I should trust you but I don"t know how, I also don"t know how to not be afraid of the possibility of you waking up and suddenly saying you don"t love me anymore. I don"t know how to keep this kind of big love."
He sprang from his feet. "Wife…" and held her on two shoulders. "Let"s help each other with this."
She shook her head. "It"s me who keeps on doubting you. I keep on being jealous towards Czarina. You"re always being put to difficult situation as you try to explain things to me."
"I won"t get tired of it."
"No, Johann. For this to work, we must meet in the middle. You should not always be the one understanding. We will just keep on fighting. I realized, if we didn"t confess to each other before, it would be better. You should have just stayed friendly with me."
"Sapphire…"
She stepped back and removed the ring from her finger.
She heard his weak gasp after seeing what she did.
"No…" he whispered.
She persistently placed the ring on top of his palm. "That ring… it feels so light yet I never knew a wife"s responsibility could be so heavy until I learned to love you." She took a deep breath. "It"s actually not a simple game. It"s no longer like "we decided to get married to obtain my inheritance and build a bookstore"… It"s something so overwhelming that I don"t know how to contain it."
W-what… what do you want to happen?" It was almost Johann was weakly muttering it to her.
"Keep that ring for now." She turned her back on him. "I want to go to my grandma"s mansion. I"ll be with my mom there."
"You want s.p.a.ce?"
"Yeah. Kind of."
"Can you sleep without me by your side?"
She closed her eyes. "I-I"ll try. I did it last night, anyway."
"Are you really leaving? You"re going to left me behind?"
"Just for a while. Until I learn how to love and trust you back like the way you love me."
"Is that your final answer?"
She nodded. Her mind has been set on it.
"Until when it will last?"
She shrugged.
"It"s my birthday next week. Am I going to celebrate without my wife?"
"I"ll just attend if you will host a party."
He sighed. "I love you."
She didn"t respond.
…
~ ~