Mr. Langhope grown suddenly grave, struck his cane resoundingly on the terrace. "Westmore and Lynbrook? I don"t want them to--I want them to get farther and farther apart!"
She cast on him a look of startled divination. "You want Bessy to go on spending too much money?"
"How can I help it if it costs?"
"If what costs--?" She stopped, her eyes still wide; then their glances crossed, and she exclaimed: "If your scheme costs? It _is_ your scheme, then?"
He shrugged his shoulders again. "It"s a pa.s.sive att.i.tude----"
"Ah, the deepest plans are that!" Mr. Langhope uttered no protest, and she continued to piece her conjectures together. "But you expect it to lead up to something active. Do you want a rupture?"
"I want him brought back to his senses."
"Do you think that will bring him back to _her_?"
"Where the devil else will he have to go?"
Mrs. Ansell"s eyes dropped toward the gardens, across which desultory knots of people were straggling back from the ended tennis-match. "Ah, here they all come," she said, rising with a half-sigh; and as she stood watching the advance of the brightly-tinted groups she added slowly: "It"s ingenious--but you don"t understand him."
Mr. Langhope stroked his moustache. "Perhaps not," he a.s.sented thoughtfully. "But suppose we go in before they join us? I want to show you a set of Ming I picked up the other day for Bessy. I flatter myself I _do_ understand Ming."
XIV
JUSTINE BRENT, her household duties discharged, had gone upstairs to her room, a little turret chamber projecting above the wide terrace below, from which the sounds of lively intercourse now rose increasingly to her window.
Bessy, she knew, would have preferred to have her remain with the party from whom these evidences of gaiety proceeded. Mrs. Amherst had grown to depend on her friend"s nearness. She liked to feel that Justine"s quick hand and eye were always in waiting on her impulses, prompt to interpret and execute them without any exertion of her own. Bessy combined great zeal in the pursuit of sport--a tireless pa.s.sion for the saddle, the golf-course, the tennis-court--with an almost oriental inertia within doors, an indolence of body and brain that made her shrink from the active obligations of hospitality, though she had grown to depend more and more on the distractions of a crowded house.
But Justine, though grateful, and anxious to show her grat.i.tude, was unwilling to add to her other duties that of joining in the amus.e.m.e.nts of the house-party. She made no pretense of effacing herself when she thought her presence might be useful--but, even if she had cared for the diversions in favour at Lynbrook, a certain unavowed pride would have kept her from partic.i.p.ating in them on the same footing with Bessy"s guests. She was not in the least ashamed of her position in the household, but she chose that every one else should be aware of it, that she should not for an instant be taken for one of the nomadic damsels who form the camp-followers of the great army of pleasure. Yet even on this point her sensitiveness was not exaggerated. Adversity has a deft hand at gathering loose strands of impulse into character, and Justine"s early contact with different phases of experience had given her a fairly clear view of life in the round, what might be called a sound working topography of its relative heights and depths. She was not seriously afraid of being taken for anything but what she really was, and still less did she fear to become, by force of propinquity and suggestion, the kind of being for whom she might be temporarily taken.
When, at Bessy"s summons, she had joined the latter at her camp in the Adirondacks, the transition from a fatiguing "case" at Hanaford to a life in which sylvan freedom was artfully blent with the most studied personal luxury, had come as a delicious refreshment to body and brain.
She was weary, for the moment, of ugliness, pain and hard work, and life seemed to recover its meaning under the aspect of a graceful leisure.
Lynbrook also, whither she had been persuaded to go with Bessy at the end of their woodland cure, had at first amused and interested her. The big house on its spreading terraces, with windows looking over bright gardens to the hazy distances of the plains, seemed a haven of harmless ease and gaiety. Justine was sensitive to the finer graces of luxurious living, to the warm lights on old pictures and bronzes, the soft mingling of tints in faded rugs and panellings of time-warmed oak. And the existence to which this background formed a setting seemed at first to have the same decorative qualities. It was pleasant, for once, to be among people whose chief business was to look well and take life lightly, and Justine"s own buoyancy of nature won her immediate access among the amiable persons who peopled Bessy"s week-end parties. If they had only abounded a little more in their own line she might have succ.u.mbed to their spell. But it seemed to her that they missed the poetry of their situation, transacting their pleasures with the dreary method and shortness of view of a race tethered to the ledger. Even the verbal flexibility which had made her feel that she was in a world of freer ideas, soon revealed itself as a form of flight from them, in which the race was distinctly to the swift; and Justine"s phase of pa.s.sive enjoyment pa.s.sed with the return of her physical and mental activity. She was a creature tingling with energy, a little fleeting particle of the power that moves the sun and the other stars, and the deadening influences of the life at Lynbrook roused these tendencies to greater intensity, as a suffocated person will suddenly develop abnormal strength in the struggle for air.
She did not, indeed, regret having come. She was glad to be with Bessy, partly because of the childish friendship which had left such deep traces in her lonely heart, and partly because what she had seen of her friend"s situation stirred in her all the impulses of sympathy and service; but the idea of continuing in such a life, of sinking into any of the positions of semi-dependence that an adroit and handsome girl may create for herself in a fashionable woman"s train--this possibility never presented itself to Justine till Mrs. Ansell, that afternoon, had put it into words. And to hear it was to revolt from it with all the strength of her inmost nature. The thought of the future troubled her, not so much materially--for she had a light bird-like trust in the morrow"s fare--but because her own tendencies seemed to have grown less clear, because she could not rest in them for guidance as she had once done. The renewal of bodily activity had not brought back her faith in her calling: her work had lost the light of consecration. She no longer felt herself predestined to nurse the sick for the rest of her life, and in her inexperience she reproached herself with this instability. Youth and womanhood were in fact crying out in her for their individual satisfaction; but instincts as deep-seated protected her from even a momentary illusion as to the nature of this demand. She wanted happiness, and a life of her own, as pa.s.sionately as young flesh-and-blood had ever wanted them; but they must come bathed in the light of imagination and penetrated by the sense of larger affinities.
She could not conceive of shutting herself into a little citadel of personal well-being while the great tides of existence rolled on unheeded outside. Whether they swept treasure to her feet, or strewed her life with wreckage, she felt, even now; that her place was there, on the banks, in sound and sight of the great current; and just in proportion as the scheme of life at Lynbrook succeeded in shutting out all sense of that vaster human consciousness, so did its voice speak more thrillingly within her.
Somewhere, she felt--but, alas! still out of reach--was the life she longed for, a life in which high chances of doing should be mated with the finer forms of enjoying. But what t.i.tle had she to a share in such an existence? Why, none but her sense of what it was worth--and what did that count for, in a world which used all its resources to barricade itself against all its opportunities? She knew there were girls who sought, by what is called a "good" marriage, an escape into the outer world, of doing and thinking--utilizing an empty brain and full pocket as the key to these envied fields. Some such chance the life at Lynbrook seemed likely enough to offer--one is not, at Justine"s age and with her penetration, any more blind to the poise of one"s head than to the turn of one"s ideas; but here the subtler obstacles of taste and pride intervened. Not even Bessy"s transparent manuvrings, her tender solicitude for her friend"s happiness, could for a moment weaken Justine"s resistance. If she must marry without love--and this was growing conceivable to her--she must at least merge her craving for personal happiness in some view of life in harmony with hers.
A tap on her door interrupted these musings, to one aspect of which Bessy Amherst"s entrance seemed suddenly to give visible expression.
"Why did you run off, Justine? You promised to be down-stairs when I came back from tennis."
"_Till_ you came back--wasn"t it, dear?" Justine corrected with a smile, pushing her arm-chair forward as Bessy continued to linger irresolutely in the doorway. "I saw that there was a fresh supply of tea in the drawing-room, and I knew you would be there before the omnibus came from the station."
"Oh, I was there--but everybody was asking for you----"
"Everybody?" Justine gave a mocking lift to her dark eyebrows.
"Well--Westy Gaines, at any rate; the moment he set foot in the house!"
Bessy declared with a laugh as she dropped into the arm-chair.
Justine echoed the laugh, but offered no comment on the statement which accompanied it, and for a moment both women were silent, Bessy tilting her pretty discontented head against the back of the chair, so that her eyes were on a level with those of her friend, who leaned near her in the embrasure of the window.
"I can"t understand you, Justine. You know well enough what he"s come back for."
"In order to dazzle Hanaford with the fact that he has been staying at Lynbrook!"
"Nonsense--the novelty of that has worn off. He"s been here three times since we came back."
"You are admirably hospitable to your family----"
Bessy let her pretty ringed hands fall with a discouraged gesture. "Why do you find him so much worse than--than other people?"
Justine"s eye-brows rose again. "In the same capacity? You speak as if I had boundless opportunities of comparison."
"Well, you"ve Dr. Wyant!" Mrs. Amherst suddenly flung back at her.
Justine coloured under the unexpected thrust, but met her friend"s eyes steadily. "As an alternative to Westy? Well, if I were on a desert island--but I"m not!" she concluded with a careless laugh.
Bessy frowned and sighed. "You can"t mean that, of the two--?" She paused and then went on doubtfully: "It"s because he"s cleverer?"
"Dr. Wyant?" Justine smiled. "It"s not making an enormous claim for him!"
"Oh, I know Westy"s not brilliant; but stupid men are not always the hardest to live with." She sighed again, and turned on Justine a glance charged with conjugal experience.
Justine had sunk into the window-seat, her thin hands clasping her knee, in the att.i.tude habitual to her meditative moments. "Perhaps not," she a.s.sented; "but I don"t know that I should care for a man who made life easy; I should want some one who made it interesting."
Bessy met this with a pitying exclamation. "Don"t imagine you invented that! Every girl thinks it. Afterwards she finds out that it"s much pleasanter to be thought interesting herself."
She spoke with a bitterness that issued strangely from her lips. It was this bitterness which gave her soft personality the sharp edge that Justine had felt in it on the day of their meeting at Hanaford.
The girl, at first, had tried to defend herself from these scarcely-veiled confidences, distasteful enough in themselves, and placing her, if she listened, in an att.i.tude of implied disloyalty to the man under whose roof they were spoken. But a precocious experience of life had taught her that emotions too strong for the nature containing them turn, by some law of spiritual chemistry, into a rankling poison; and she had therefore resigned herself to serving as a kind of outlet for Bessy"s pent-up discontent. It was not that her friend"s grievance appealed to her personal sympathies; she had learned enough of the situation to give her moral a.s.sent unreservedly to the other side. But it was characteristic of Justine that where she sympathized least she sometimes pitied most. Like all quick spirits she was often intolerant of dulness; yet when the intolerance pa.s.sed it left a residue of compa.s.sion for the very incapacity at which she chafed. It seemed to her that the tragic crises in wedded life usually turned on the stupidity of one of the two concerned; and of the two victims of such a catastrophe she felt most for the one whose limitations had probably brought it about. After all, there could be no imprisonment as cruel as that of being bounded by a hard small nature. Not to be penetrable at all points to the shifting lights, the wandering music of the world--she could imagine no physical disability as cramping as that.
How the little parched soul, in solitary confinement for life, must pine and dwindle in its blind cranny of self-love!
To be one"s self wide open to the currents of life does not always contribute to an understanding of narrower natures; but in Justine the personal emotions were enriched and deepened by a sense of partic.i.p.ation in all that the world about her was doing, suffering and enjoying; and this sense found expression in the instinct of ministry and solace. She was by nature a redresser, a restorer; and in her work, as she had once told Amherst, the longing to help and direct, to hasten on by personal intervention time"s slow and clumsy processes, had often been in conflict with the restrictions imposed by her profession. But she had no idle desire to probe the depths of other lives; and where there seemed no hope of serving she shrank from fruitless confidences. She was beginning to feel this to be the case with Bessy Amherst. To touch the rock was not enough, if there were but a few drops within it; yet in this barrenness lay the pathos of the situation--and after all, may not the scanty spring be fed from a fuller current?
"I"m not sure about that," she said, answering her friend"s last words after a deep pause of deliberation. "I mean about its being so pleasant to be found interesting. I"m sure the pa.s.sive part is always the dull one: life has been a great deal more thrilling since we found out that we revolved about the sun, instead of sitting still and fancying that all the planets were dancing attendance on us. After all, they were _not_; and it"s rather humiliating to think how the morning stars must have laughed together about it!"
There was no self-complacency in Justine"s eagerness to help. It was far easier for her to express it in action than in counsel, to grope for the path with her friend than to point the way to it; and when she had to speak she took refuge in figures to escape the pedantry of appearing to advise. But it was not only to Mrs. Dressel that her parables were dark, and the blank look in Bessy"s eyes soon s.n.a.t.c.hed her down from the height of metaphor.
"I mean," she continued with a smile, "that, as human nature is const.i.tuted, it has got to find its real self--the self to be interested in--outside of what we conventionally call "self": the particular Justine or Bessy who is clamouring for her particular morsel of life.
You see, self isn"t a thing one can keep in a box--bits of it keep escaping, and flying off to lodge in all sorts of unexpected crannies; we come across sc.r.a.ps of ourselves in the most unlikely places--as I believe you would in Westmore, if you"d only go back there and look for them!"
Bessy"s lip trembled and the colour sprang to her face; but she answered with a flash of irritation: "Why doesn"t _he_ look for me there, then--if he still wants to find me?"