"That"s a good sign." Justine paused, and then, letting her fingers glide once or twice over the back of Bessy"s hand--"You know, dear, Mr.
Amherst is coming," she leaned down to say.
Bessy"s eyes moved again, slowly, inscrutably. She had never asked for her husband.
"Soon?" she whispered.
"He had started on a long journey--to out-of-the-way places--to study something about cotton growing--my message has just overtaken him,"
Justine explained.
Bessy lay still, her breast straining for breath. She remained so long without speaking that Justine began to think she was falling back into the somnolent state that intervened between her moments of complete consciousness. But at length she lifted her lids again, and her lips stirred.
"He will be...long...coming?"
"Some days."
"How...many?"
"We can"t tell yet."
Silence again. Bessy"s features seemed to shrink into a kind of waxen quietude--as though her face were seen under clear water, a long way down. And then, as she lay thus, without sound or movement, two tears forced themselves through her lashes and rolled down her cheeks.
Justine, bending close, wiped them away. "Bessy--"
The wet lashes were raised--an anguished look met her gaze.
"I--I can"t bear it...."
"What, dear?"
"The pain.... Shan"t I die...before?"
"You may get well, Bessy."
Justine felt her hand quiver. "Walk again...?"
"Perhaps...not that."
"_This?_ I can"t bear it...." Her head drooped sideways, turning away toward the wall.
Justine, that night, kept her vigil with an aching heart. The news of Amherst"s return had produced no sign of happiness in his wife--- the tears had been forced from her merely by the dread of being kept alive during the long days of pain before he came. The medical explanation might have been that repeated crises of intense physical anguish, and the deep la.s.situde succeeding them, had so overlaid all other feelings, or at least so benumbed their expression, that it was impossible to conjecture how Bessy"s little half-smothered spark of soul had really been affected by the news. But Justine did not believe in this argument.
Her experience among the sick had convinced her, on the contrary, that the shafts of grief or joy will find a crack in the heaviest armour of physical pain, that the tiniest gleam of hope will light up depths of mental inanition, and somehow send a ray to the surface.... It was true that Bessy had never known how to bear pain, and that her own sensations had always formed the centre of her universe--yet, for that very reason, if the thought of seeing Amherst had made her happier it would have lifted, at least momentarily, the weight of death from her body.
Justine, at first, had almost feared the contrary effect--feared that the moral depression might show itself in a lowering of physical resistance. But the body kept up its obstinate struggle against death, drawing strength from sources of vitality unsuspected in that frail envelope. The surgeon"s report the next day was more favourable, and every day won from death pointed now to a faint chance of recovery.
Such at least was Wyant"s view. Dr. Garford and the consulting surgeons had not yet declared themselves; but the young doctor, strung to the highest point of watchfulness, and constantly in attendance on the patient, was tending toward a hopeful prognosis. The growing conviction spurred him to fresh efforts; at Dr. Garford"s request, he had temporarily handed over his Clifton practice to a young New York doctor in need of change, and having installed himself at Lynbrook he gave up his days and nights to Mrs. Amherst"s case.
"If any one can save her, Wyant will," Dr. Garford had declared to Justine, when, on the tenth day after the accident, the surgeons held their third consultation. Dr. Garford reserved his own judgment. He had seen cases--they had all seen cases...but just at present the signs might point either way.... Meanwhile Wyant"s confidence was an invaluable a.s.set toward the patient"s chances of recovery. Hopefulness in the physician was almost as necessary as in the patient--contact with such faith had been known to work miracles.
Justine listened in silence, wishing that she too could hope. But whichever way the prognosis pointed, she felt only a dull despair. She believed no more than Dr. Garford in the chance of recovery--that conviction seemed to her a mirage of Wyant"s imagination, of his boyish ambition to achieve the impossible--and every hopeful symptom pointed, in her mind, only to a longer period of useless suffering.
Her hours at Bessy"s side deepened her revolt against the energy spent in the fight with death. Since Bessy had learned that her husband was returning she had never, by sign or word, reverted to the fact. Except for a gleam of tenderness, now and then, when Cicely was brought to her, she seemed to have sunk back into herself, as though her poor little flicker of consciousness were wholly centred in the contemplation of its pain. It was not that her mind was clouded--only that it was immersed, absorbed, in that dread mystery of disproportionate anguish which a capricious fate had laid on it.... And what if she recovered, as they called it? If the flood-tide of pain should ebb, leaving her stranded, a helpless wreck on the desert sh.o.r.es of inactivity? What would life be to Bessy without movement? Thought would never set her blood flowing--motion, in her, could only take the form of the physical processes. Her love for Amherst was dead--even if it flickered into life again, it could but put the spark to smouldering discords and resentments; and would her one uncontaminated sentiment--her affection for Cicely--suffice to reconcile her to the desolate half-life which was the utmost that science could hold out?
Here again, Justine"s experience answered no. She did not believe in Bessy"s powers of moral recuperation--her body seemed less near death than her spirit. Life had been poured out to her in generous measure, and she had spilled the precious draught--the few drops remaining in the cup could no longer renew her strength.
Pity, not condemnation--profound illimitable pity--flowed from this conclusion of Justine"s. To a compa.s.sionate heart there could be no sadder instance of the wastefulness of life than this struggle of the small half-formed soul with a destiny too heavy for its strength. If Bessy had had any moral hope to fight for, every pang of suffering would have been worth enduring; but it was intolerable to witness the spectacle of her useless pain.
Incessant commerce with such thoughts made Justine, as the days pa.s.sed, crave any escape from solitude, any contact with other ideas. Even the reappearance of Westy Gaines, bringing a breath of common-place conventional grief into the haunted silence of the house, was a respite from her questionings. If it was hard to talk to him, to answer his enquiries, to a.s.sent to his plat.i.tudes, it was harder, a thousand times, to go on talking to herself....
Mr. Tredegar"s coming was a distinct relief. His dryness was like cautery to her wound. Mr. Tredegar undoubtedly grieved for Bessy; but his grief struck inward, exuding only now and then, through the fissures of his hard manner, in a touch of extra solemnity, the more laboured rounding of a period. Yet, on the whole, it was to his feeling that Justine felt her own to be most akin. If his stoic acceptance of the inevitable proceeded from the resolve to spare himself pain, that at least was a form of strength, an indication of character. She had never cared for the fluencies of invertebrate sentiment.
Now, on the evening of the day after her talk with Bessy, it was more than ever a solace to escape from the torment of her thoughts into the rarefied air of Mr. Tredegar"s presence. The day had been a bad one for the patient, and Justine"s distress had been increased by the receipt of a cable from Mr. Langhope, announcing that, owing to delay in reaching Brindisi, he had missed the fast steamer from Cherbourg, and would not arrive till four or five days later than he had expected. Mr. Tredegar, in response to her report, had announced his intention of coming down by a late train, and now he and Justine and Dr. Wyant, after dining together, were seated before the fire in the smoking-room.
"I take it, then," Mr. Tredegar said, turning to Wyant, "that the chances of her living to see her father are very slight."
The young doctor raised his head eagerly. "Not in my opinion, sir.
Unless unforeseen complications arise, I can almost promise to keep her alive for another month--I"m not afraid to call it six weeks!"
"H"m--Garford doesn"t say so."
"No; Dr. Garford argues from precedent."
"And you?" Mr. Tredegar"s thin lips were visited by the ghost of a smile.
"Oh, I don"t argue--I just feel my way," said Wyant imperturbably.
"And yet you don"t hesitate to predict----"
"No, I don"t, sir; because the case, as I see it, presents certain definite indications." He began to enumerate them, cleverly avoiding the use of technicalities and trying to make his point clear by the use of simple ill.u.s.tration and a.n.a.logy. It sickened Justine to listen to his pa.s.sionate exposition--she had heard it so often, she believed in it so little.
Mr. Tredegar turned a probing glance on him as he ended. "Then, today even, you believe not only in the possibility of prolonging life, but of ultimate recovery?"
Wyant hesitated. "I won"t call it recovery--today. Say--life indefinitely prolonged."
"And the paralysis?"
"It might disappear--after a few months--or a few years."
"Such an outcome would be unusual?"
"Exceptional. But then there _are_ exceptions. And I"m straining every nerve to make this one!"
"And the suffering--such as today"s, for instance--is unavoidable?"
"Unhappily."
"And bound to increase?"
"Well--as the anaesthetics lose their effect...."