When she was a little girl she had such a soft, hesitating voice; she had even stuttered, and now, whatever she said--even if it was only "Jam, please, father"--it rang out as though she were on the stage.
"Did Harold leave the office before you, dear?" asked Charlotte, beginning to rock again.
"I"m not sure," said Old Mr. Neave. "I"m not sure. I didn"t see him after four o"clock."
"He said--" began Charlotte.
But at that moment Ethel, who was twitching over the leaves of some paper or other, ran to her mother and sank down beside her chair.
"There, you see," she cried. "That"s what I mean, mummy. Yellow, with touches of silver. Don"t you agree?"
"Give it to me, love," said Charlotte. She fumbled for her tortoise-sh.e.l.l spectacles and put them on, gave the page a little dab with her plump small fingers, and pursed up her lips. "Very sweet!"
she crooned vaguely; she looked at Ethel over her spectacles. "But I shouldn"t have the train."
"Not the train!" wailed Ethel tragically. "But the train"s the whole point."
"Here, mother, let me decide." Marion s.n.a.t.c.hed the paper playfully from Charlotte. "I agree with mother," she cried triumphantly. "The train overweights it."
Old Mr. Neave, forgotten, sank into the broad lap of his chair, and, dozing, heard them as though he dreamed. There was no doubt about it, he was tired out; he had lost his hold. Even Charlotte and the girls were too much for him to-night. They were too... too... But all his drowsing brain could think of was--too rich for him. And somewhere at the back of everything he was watching a little withered ancient man climbing up endless flights of stairs. Who was he?
"I shan"t dress to-night," he muttered.
"What do you say, father?"
"Eh, what, what?" Old Mr. Neave woke with a start and stared across at them. "I shan"t dress to-night," he repeated.
"But, father, we"ve got Lucile coming, and Henry Davenport, and Mrs.
Teddie Walker."
"It will look so very out of the picture."
"Don"t you feel well, dear?"
"You needn"t make any effort. What is Charles for?"
"But if you"re really not up to it," Charlotte wavered.
"Very well! Very well!" Old Mr. Neave got up and went to join that little old climbing fellow just as far as his dressing-room...
There young Charles was waiting for him. Carefully, as though everything depended on it, he was tucking a towel round the hot-water can. Young Charles had been a favourite of his ever since as a little red-faced boy he had come into the house to look after the fires. Old Mr. Neave lowered himself into the cane lounge by the window, stretched out his legs, and made his little evening joke, "Dress him up, Charles!" And Charles, breathing intensely and frowning, bent forward to take the pin out of his tie.
H"m, h"m! Well, well! It was pleasant by the open window, very pleasant--a fine mild evening. They were cutting the gra.s.s on the tennis court below; he heard the soft churr of the mower. Soon the girls would begin their tennis parties again. And at the thought he seemed to hear Marion"s voice ring out, "Good for you, partner... Oh, played, partner... Oh, very nice indeed." Then Charlotte calling from the veranda, "Where is Harold?" And Ethel, "He"s certainly not here, mother." And Charlotte"s vague, "He said--"
Old Mr. Neave sighed, got up, and putting one hand under his beard, he took the comb from young Charles, and carefully combed the white beard over. Charles gave him a folded handkerchief, his watch and seals, and spectacle case.
"That will do, my lad." The door shut, he sank back, he was alone...
And now that little ancient fellow was climbing down endless flights that led to a glittering, gay dining-room. What legs he had! They were like a spider"s--thin, withered.
"You"re an ideal family, sir, an ideal family."
But if that were true, why didn"t Charlotte or the girls stop him? Why was he all alone, climbing up and down? Where was Harold? Ah, it was no good expecting anything from Harold. Down, down went the little old spider, and then, to his horror, old Mr. Neave saw him slip past the dining-room and make for the porch, the dark drive, the carriage gates, the office. Stop him, stop him, somebody!
Old Mr. Neave started up. It was dark in his dressing-room; the window shone pale. How long had he been asleep? He listened, and through the big, airy, darkened house there floated far-away voices, far-away sounds. Perhaps, he thought vaguely, he had been asleep for a long time.
He"d been forgotten. What had all this to do with him--this house and Charlotte, the girls and Harold--what did he know about them? They were strangers to him. Life had pa.s.sed him by. Charlotte was not his wife.
His wife!
... A dark porch, half hidden by a pa.s.sion-vine, that drooped sorrowful, mournful, as though it understood. Small, warm arms were round his neck.
A face, little and pale, lifted to his, and a voice breathed, "Good-bye, my treasure."
My treasure! "Good-bye, my treasure!" Which of them had spoken? Why had they said good-bye? There had been some terrible mistake. She was his wife, that little pale girl, and all the rest of his life had been a dream.
Then the door opened, and young Charles, standing in the light, put his hands by his side and shouted like a young soldier, "Dinner is on the table, sir!"
"I"m coming, I"m coming," said old Mr. Neave.
15. THE LADY"S MAID.
Eleven o"clock. A knock at the door... I hope I haven"t disturbed you, madam. You weren"t asleep--were you? But I"ve just given my lady her tea, and there was such a nice cup over, I thought, perhaps...
... Not at all, madam. I always make a cup of tea last thing. She drinks it in bed after her prayers to warm her up. I put the kettle on when she kneels down and I say to it, "Now you needn"t be in too much of a hurry to say your prayers." But it"s always boiling before my lady is half through. You see, madam, we know such a lot of people, and they"ve all got to be prayed for--every one. My lady keeps a list of the names in a little red book. Oh dear! whenever some one new has been to see us and my lady says afterwards, "Ellen, give me my little red book," I feel quite wild, I do. "There"s another," I think, "keeping her out of her bed in all weathers." And she won"t have a cushion, you know, madam; she kneels on the hard carpet. It fidgets me something dreadful to see her, knowing her as I do. I"ve tried to cheat her; I"ve spread out the eiderdown. But the first time I did it--oh, she gave me such a look--holy it was, madam. "Did our Lord have an eiderdown, Ellen?" she said. But--I was younger at the time--I felt inclined to say, "No, but our Lord wasn"t your age, and he didn"t know what it was to have your lumbago." Wicked--wasn"t it? But she"s too good, you know, madam. When I tucked her up just now and seen--saw her lying back, her hands outside and her head on the pillow--so pretty--I couldn"t help thinking, "Now you look just like your dear mother when I laid her out!"
... Yes, madam, it was all left to me. Oh, she did look sweet. I did her hair, soft-like, round her forehead, all in dainty curls, and just to one side of her neck I put a bunch of most beautiful purple pansies.
Those pansies made a picture of her, madam! I shall never forget them.
I thought to-night, when I looked at my lady, "Now, if only the pansies was there no one could tell the difference."
... Only the last year, madam. Only after she"d got a little--well--feeble as you might say. Of course, she was never dangerous; she was the sweetest old lady. But how it took her was--she thought she"d lost something. She couldn"t keep still, she couldn"t settle. All day long she"d be up and down, up and down; you"d meet her everywhere,--on the stairs, in the porch, making for the kitchen. And she"d look up at you, and she"d say--just like a child, "I"ve lost it, I"ve lost it." "Come along," I"d say, "come along, and I"ll lay out your patience for you." But she"d catch me by the hand--I was a favourite of hers--and whisper, "Find it for me, Ellen. Find it for me." Sad, wasn"t it?
... No, she never recovered, madam. She had a stroke at the end. Last words she ever said was--very slow, "Look in--the--Look--in--" And then she was gone.
... No, madam, I can"t say I noticed it. Perhaps some girls. But you see, it"s like this, I"ve got n.o.body but my lady. My mother died of consumption when I was four, and I lived with my grandfather, who kept a hair-dresser"s shop. I used to spend all my time in the shop under a table dressing my doll"s hair--copying the a.s.sistants, I suppose. They were ever so kind to me. Used to make me little wigs, all colours, the latest fashions and all. And there I"d sit all day, quiet as quiet--the customers never knew. Only now and again I"d take my peep from under the table-cloth.
... But one day I managed to get a pair of scissors and--would you believe it, madam? I cut off all my hair; snipped it off all in bits, like the little monkey I was. Grandfather was furious! He caught hold of the tongs--I shall never forget it--grabbed me by the hand and shut my fingers in them. "That"ll teach you!" he said. It was a fearful burn.
I"ve got the mark of it to-day.
... Well, you see, madam, he"d taken such pride in my hair. He used to sit me up on the counter, before the customers came, and do it something beautiful--big, soft curls and waved over the top. I remember the a.s.sistants standing round, and me ever so solemn with the penny grandfather gave me to hold while it was being done... But he always took the penny back afterwards. Poor grandfather! Wild, he was, at the fright I"d made of myself. But he frightened me that time. Do you know what I did, madam? I ran away. Yes, I did, round the corners, in and out, I don"t know how far I didn"t run. Oh, dear, I must have looked a sight, with my hand rolled up in my pinny and my hair sticking out. People must have laughed when they saw me...
... No, madam, grandfather never got over it. He couldn"t bear the sight of me after. Couldn"t eat his dinner, even, if I was there. So my aunt took me. She was a cripple, an upholstress. Tiny! She had to stand on the sofas when she wanted to cut out the backs. And it was helping her I met my lady...
... Not so very, madam. I was thirteen, turned. And I don"t remember ever feeling--well--a child, as you might say. You see there was my uniform, and one thing and another. My lady put me into collars and cuffs from the first. Oh yes--once I did! That was--funny! It was like this. My lady had her two little nieces staying with her--we were at Sheldon at the time--and there was a fair on the common.
"Now, Ellen," she said, "I want you to take the two young ladies for a ride on the donkeys." Off we went; solemn little loves they were; each had a hand. But when we came to the donkeys they were too shy to go on.
So we stood and watched instead. Beautiful those donkeys were! They were the first I"d seen out of a cart--for pleasure as you might say. They were a lovely silver-grey, with little red saddles and blue bridles and bells jing-a-jingling on their ears. And quite big girls--older than me, even--were riding them, ever so gay. Not at all common, I don"t mean, madam, just enjoying themselves. And I don"t know what it was, but the way the little feet went, and the eyes--so gentle--and the soft ears--made me want to go on a donkey more than anything in the world!
... Of course, I couldn"t. I had my young ladies. And what would I have looked like perched up there in my uniform? But all the rest of the day it was donkeys--donkeys on the brain with me. I felt I should have burst if I didn"t tell some one; and who was there to tell? But when I went to bed--I was sleeping in Mrs. James"s bedroom, our cook that was, at the time--as soon as the lights was out, there they were, my donkeys, jingling along, with their neat little feet and sad eyes... Well, madam, would you believe it, I waited for a long time and pretended to be asleep, and then suddenly I sat up and called out as loud as I could, "I do want to go on a donkey. I do want a donkey-ride!" You see, I had to say it, and I thought they wouldn"t laugh at me if they knew I was only dreaming. Artful--wasn"t it? Just what a silly child would think...