WILLIS: "Did you really knock him down?"
MRS. ROBERTS: "Knock him down? Of course he did."
MRS. CRASHAW: "Agnes, WILL you hold your tongue, and let the men alone?"
MRS. ROBERTS, whimpering: "I can"t, Aunt Mary. And you couldn"t, if it was yours."
ROBERTS: "I pulled him over backwards."
MRS. ROBERTS: "There, Willis!"
WILLIS: "And grabbed your watch from him?"
ROBERTS: "I was in quite a frenzy; I really hardly knew what I was doing--"
MRS. ROBERTS: "And he didn"t call for the police, or anything--"
WILLIS: "Ah, that showed presence of mind! He knew it wouldn"t have been any use."
MRS. ROBERTS: "And when he had got his watch away from them, he just let them go, because they had families dependent on them."
WILLIS: "I should have let them go in the first place, but you behaved handsomely in the end, Roberts; there"s no denying that.
And when you came in she gave you cologne to drink, and poured brandy on your head. It must have revived you. I should think it would wake the dead."
MRS. ROBERTS: "I was all excitement, Willis--"
WILLIS: "No, I should think from the fact that you had set the decanter here on the hearth, and put your cologne into the wood-box, you were perfectly calm, Agnes." He takes them up and hands them to her. "Quite as calm as usual." The door-bell rings.
MRS. CRASHAW: "Willis, WILL you let that ridiculous man go away and make himself presentable before people begin to come?" The bell rings violently, peal upon peal.
MRS. ROBERTS: "Oh, my goodness, what"s that? It"s the garotters--I know it is; and we shall all be murdered in our beds!"
MRS. CRASHAW: "What in the world can it--"
WILLIS: "Why don"t your girl answer the bell, Agnes? Or I"ll go myself." The bell rings violently again.
MRS. ROBERTS: "NO, Willis, you sha"n"t! Don"t leave me, Edward!
Aunt Mary!--Oh, if we MUST die, let us all die together! Oh, my poor children! Ugh! What"s that?" The servant-maid opens the outer door, and uttering a shriek, rushes in through the drawing- room portiere.
BELLA THE MAID: "Oh, my goodness! Mrs. Roberts, it"s Mr. Bemis!"
MRS. ROBERTS: "Which Mr. Bemis?"
ROBERTS: "What"s the matter with him?"
MRS. CRASHAW: "Why doesn"t she show him in?"
WILLIS: "Has HE been garotting somebody too?"
SCENE IV: MR. BEMIS, MR. CAMPBELL, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS
BEMIS, appearing through the portiere: "I--I beg your pardon, Mrs.
Roberts. I oughtn"t to present myself in this state--I-- But I thought I"d better stop on my way home and report, so that my son needn"t be alarmed at my absence when he comes. I--" He stops, exhausted, and regards the others with a wild stare, while they stand taking note of his disordered coat, his torn vest, and his tumbled hat. "I"ve just been robbed--"
MRS. ROBERTS: "Robbed? Why, EDWARD has been robbed too."
BEMIS: "--coming through the Common--"
MRS. ROBERTS: "Yes, EDWARD was coming through the Common."
BEMIS: "--of my watch--"
MRS. ROBERTS, in rapturous admiration of the coincidence: "Oh, and it was Edward"s WATCH they took!"
WILLIS: "It"s a parallel case, Agnes. Pour him out a gla.s.s of cologne to drink, and rub his head with brandy. And you might let him sit down and rest while you"re enjoying the excitement."
MRS. ROBERTS, in hospitable remorse: "Oh, what am I thinking of!
Here, Edward--or no, you"re too weak, you mustn"t. Willis, YOU help me to help him to the sofa."
MRS. CRASHAW: "I think you"d better help him off with his overcoat and his arctics." To the maid: "Here, Bella, if you haven"t quite taken leave of your wits, undo his shoes."
ROBERTS: "I"LL help him off with his coat--"
BEMIS: "Careful! careful! I may be injured internally."
MRS. ROBERTS: "Oh, if you only WERE, Mr. Bemis, perhaps I could persuade Edward that he was too: I KNOW he is. Edward, don"t exert yourself! Aunt Mary, will you STOP him, or do you all wish to see me go distracted here before your eyes?"
WILLIS, examining the overcoat which Roberts has removed: "Well, you won"t have much trouble b.u.t.toning and unb.u.t.toning this coat for the present."
BEMIS: "They tore it open, and tore my watch from my vest pocket--"
WILLIS, looking at the vest: "I see. Pretty lively work. Were there many of them?"
BEMIS: "There must have been two at least--"
MRS. ROBERTS: "There were half a dozen in the gang that attacked Edward."
BEMIS: "One of them pulled me violently over on my back--"
MRS. ROBERTS: "Edward"s put HIS arm round his neck and choked him."
MRS. CRASHAW: "Agnes!"
MRS. ROBERTS: "I KNOW he did, Aunt Mary."