Keme sounded worried, scurrying to her side to hold her hand, "Is it something we said?"She tried pulling her hand away but Keme tightened his grip. Allon didn"t stand around and grabbed a tissue from the cabinet pa.s.sing it to her and kneeling in front of her, "Let us help Tsuru."
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Tsuru didn"t take it and shook her head, "You wouldn"t get it."
"Then explain it... you"re worrying me." Keme was practically about to beg her on his knees while trying to brush off the tears from her cheeks.
Allon crumbled the tissue in his hands and stood in front of her, his expression was that of real worry. Truly concerned about her well being and actually hurt to see where this way, "You"re worrying both of us, Tsuru just tell us. We"ve come this far helping you, you can trust us."
Trust... that was a much more complex situation for her than what they thought. Because last time she trusted anyone they deceived her, took everything they could and left her forgotten. So asking her that now was telling her to just get prepared for betrayal. Something she wants ready to endure another time, not stable enough to take the pain that came afterward.
She didn"t want to go back to those days, those nightmares. She just wanted things to finally settle down, to end her nightmare... but the only way she believes in ending it, is the day she ends Keir.
"I can"t." She sucked in a deep breath hanging her head low.
Keme turned her to look at him, "Yes, you can. Just let me in, let me be there for you."
Allon grabbed her and shook her by the shoulders enough to get her full attention, "If you just want to tell him, then I"ll leave, just move from it all. You can trust us, we"re here for YOU." He wanted to hear her say something but instead, he got dead silence from both of them. Prying his hands off her he walked out the room hoping that by the time he got back, things would be sorted. That she wouldn"t be such a mess anymore, that she"d be normal.
Leaving them both, Keme looked at her squeezing her hand trying to get any words, "Please, just please tell me. Tell me what"s hurting you so much... tell me why you just won"t open up."
She still didn"t say a word but instead hugged him and buried her face on the crooked his neck. Tsuru was perfectly still in her position, noticing Keme move uncomfortably at the sudden actions.
"We are not leaving this room until you tell me."
And so his stare began. He backed her away from him to have a clear look at her, focusing solely on her no matter how much she shifted or told him to let her be. She tried leaving by the door, only to have him block it.
"I can"t tell you!"
"YES, YOU CAN!" He yelled back seeing her flinch. Keme lowered his voice and took a deep breath, "Whatever we say it will stay here. We won"t mention it past that door, we won"t even mention it after your done. Just help me understand, so I can help you."
She shook her head and pulled at her strands and clothes, "No... not again. Not ever again."
"I don"t get it Tsuru, I don"t get what you mean." He took her hands in his keeping her from hurting herself.
She looked up at him a glare she tried to hold when looking at him, but it crumbled apart just like her, "I can"t trust anyone..."
"Why not? Hm? Just explain."
"I can"t because I don"t trust you." She pushed him but he wouldn"t budge, looking away because she knew that if she looked it would only make things harder.
He felt hurt, he was so sure that after all this time she would surely understand all he meant as well, "You don"t... Why? What can"t you trust me? What did I do to not be trusted?"
"It"s not... not that it"s just-" she stuttered but got cut off.
He squeezed her hands and slowly let them go, and learned enough to be face to face with her, "Then just tell me. I swear I won"t say anything if you don"t want me to."
She was at an internal conflict, she kept trying to decide whether to trust someone again or just stay quiet. Keep it to herself and just keep going with the plan. But when he looked back at her, she knew that just going with the plan wasn"t going to happen. He was decided and focused on getting through to her.
T, "I can"t remember so many things. But the things that I do remember hurt so d.a.m.n much. I remember everything I spent with him, how much loved him, how much I cared... while he didn"t. And it hurts to know that I never meant anything... while he meant it all to me. It trusted him more than anyone, I followed him everywhere, and when he was gone."
Her voice cracked, "I was so lost... I was so scared, I felt, the same things I felt when we first got this wretched curse. And that made so angry. Because it"s the only feeling I remember from back then, because no matter how much I try he"s the clearest face I have of the past. He used to be my very life, and when he left it was all over, all so meaningless... I"ve been so bitter..."
He didn"t have to say anything, he agreed not to say anything, so he just rubbed her back and leaned onto her. Keme didn"t whisper anything soothing to her ears just leaned besides her and gently pulled her to a chair. She looked down at the floor through the whole moment quiet and just appreciating the fact she had it off her chest.
"Thank you..." She found herself repeating the same words to him, the same sentence all over again. Slowly letting him in her life without even noticing, slowly trusting him without realizing it.