Entry 11I had kissed Aviona tonight when I brought her home from the ball. Only in the head. She was so beautiful that even after the night had ended, she still s.h.i.+nes.
I cannot sleep that"s why I"m here again, scribbling things about her for the nth time. Only now did I notice that most of my entries were about her. Does I think of her all the time that all I ever write was her?
I"m not really certain with all the feelings that were rus.h.i.+ng on me and I think Aviona and I needed more time to get to know each other. However, earlier when we danced, I felt like I was certain of everything and almost asked her to be my official girlfriend.
With all honestly, I"m not sure with that. I think as a person who know that he is dying soon, it is my responsibility to make sure that when I leave this world, there will be not much of a casualty. If I die, I will be leaving Aviona with a broken heart and that was the reason why I didn"t open the things that I was about to say her when we left the ball.
I can"t hurt Aviona. She"s too precious to be broken because of me.
So perhaps I should just leave these feelings somewhere. Somewhere hidden.
Entry 12
I had been very busy for the past days because of my research—the one I had been conducting for Feather HealthCare. Father had built me a lab inside our company"s building and my team and I had just recently moved there. My research was doing good and we had collected samples to used already.
Father had always been supportive with me in everything. Despite my illness, he didn"t deprive me of the things I wanted to do with my life before I leave. I know he was sad deep within knowing that I"ll probably get to meet G.o.d first, but Dr. Miles was one heck of a strong guy and for that I adore him.
Entry 13
I received a call from Marga saying that Aviona was so stressed because of her thesis so I went to check on her.
I found her smoking on the roof top. She was not expecting me.
I never mind her smoking, but she seemed ashamed of the fact and even said I was too kind for her. She threw the cigar and walked away.
Entry 14
Aviona did well on the presentation today. I realized that she was right, her thesis and my research was somehow alike. Professor Dusk had me sat at the back of the panel, so I got to see Aviona"s defense. She rocked it all the way and impressed the panel. Aviona is smart, there"s no question to that. I think she"ll be successful one day, far successful than I could imagine, too bad, I might not be there when that happens.
I tried to approach her but for some reasons, she was intentionally avoiding me. Was she ashamed because I saw her smoking? Perhaps she was.
I really need to talk to her. I"ll find ways tomorrow because I we can"t go on this way. I can"t go on this way. It hurts whenever she avoids my eyes.
Entry 15
I found Aviona on the roof top again, this time she wasn"t smoking. She was just sitting there looking far away then out of nowhere she asked me whether I was shocked to know that the university queen has a dirty little secret. She was referring about the incident where I caught her smoking.
I told her we all have dirty secrets, even the most innocent ones have. She asked me if I too have a dirty little secret too and I told her yes. I want to tell her that I am dying right then but then her eyes were so sad today I was afraid the news will only made her feel worst.
She told me so many things including the fact why she made herself a university queen—because it made her feel significant. Aviona is an orphan and being the university queen make her feel like she"s not. It made her forget she"s alone with no one in this world.
Alone. Aviona dreaded to feel alone.
Entry 16
Today is a weekend so I brought Aviona to one of my happy places—The Feather Orphanage. I let her meet the children in there, who were probably the happiest people I had ever met. They played with Aviona and me almost all afternoon—those kids did drain us out.
For the first time, I saw genuine happiness in Aviona"s eyes. She wasn"t anymore the sad university queen I used to know, she was just simply Aviona. My Aviona.
I told Aviona that being an orphan doesn"t mean you are alone. A family is not confined to blood ties. Even if she had lost her mother and father, a lot of people does loves her like her grandaunt, her friends and me. She"s not alone, she can never be alone if she chooses not to.
Entry 17
I didn"t expect Mr. Cheng to be such a nosy cat. He learned that I had been seeing a girl in XU and told mother about it. Of course, mother was so happy and excited with the news and demanded to meet her.
G.o.d Mr. Cheng! He"ll just pray I will die early and not have a chance to step over Feather HealthCare or else, I"ll fire him on my first day as CEO.
So, our conversation—mother and I—ended with me— needing to bring Aviona home for dinner three days from now. I protested a little since I know, Aviona was still busy with the revisions of her thesis but mother simply wasn"t up for any of my excuses.
And then suddenly I remember, I did promise to bring Aviona home and meet my parents, so I guess this was it. Time for Aviona to know more of me and the fact that I am Melvin Dugmoch, son of the famous Dr. Miles and heir to Feather HealthCare.